i been spending alot of time in chat rooms lately, more then usual, and decided to bite the bullet and invited a guy round, jus as a social visit to get to know him better, he declined even after weeks of hinting of wanting to come round. i've also hinted a couple of times that we have felt we want to play with certain people, but are men actually put off by this?? i only ask as only a few weeks ago someone who had been asking to meet us i finally said yes too, but when i asked him, he seemed to shy away. Just wondered if this is a common problem and weather woman from a couple should try to arrange a meet, or to wait and see if a mail is interested??
so want i want to know guys is would a woman asking to meet u rather then u asking them, would it put u off?
can i jus add im sorry if this doesnt really make sense, im a bit tired at the time of writing this and not sure if it makes any sense lol
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should a woman??
Sex God
It's up to each couple or single how they organise their meets; nobody else can say how they should arrange them.
I always let Mr B do the inviting and stuff (after we have both decided whom we want to play with) because I am very shy and retiring 
I think for some (not all) people, its the fantasty that excites them. The fantasy that they COULD have sex with someone else, and the turn on is the flirting, the sexy chat, the chase etc, , but once its offered its like "OMG" :shock: and they run for the hils cos they cant handle the reality.
I think for some (not all) people, its the fantasty that excites them. The fantasy that they COULD have sex with someone else, and the turn on is the flirting, the sexy chat, the chase etc, , but once its offered its like "OMG" :shock: and they run for the hils cos they cant handle the reality.
Sex God
Quote by Heaven1970
It's up to each couple or single how they organise their meets; nobody else can say how they should arrange them.
good poimt, maybe i should re word it as in does it put a guy off if a gal was to ask them then?
I think that would be clearer, yes. I don't think it would put off.
Well as a single woman this is the way I see it.
If you are comfortable asking, that's part of your personality. And if a guy isn't comfortable with that then he isn't comfortable with you and therefore he isn't someone you could get on with.
I have approached men at Chams and initiated meets as well as being asked and it's never been a problem for me. So I would say go for it
If you are comfortable asking, that's part of your personality. And if a guy isn't comfortable with that then he isn't comfortable with you and therefore he isn't someone you could get on with.
I have approached men at Chams and initiated meets as well as being asked and it's never been a problem for me. So I would say go for it
Quote by Bonedigger
I always let Mr B do the inviting and stuff (after we have both decided whom we want to play with) because I am very shy and retiring
I think for some (not all) people, its the fantasty that excites them. The fantasy that they COULD have sex with someone else, and the turn on is the flirting, the sexy chat, the chase etc, , but once its offered its like "OMG" :shock: and they run for the hils cos they cant handle the reality.
Or having to face the fact of telling the " wife " they are going out? :shock: Sceptical I know, but in some cases an honest answer.
Sex God
Quote by Heaven1970
It's up to each couple or single how they organise their meets; nobody else can say how they should arrange them.
good poimt, maybe i should re word it as in does it put a guy off if a gal was to ask them then?
Not this guy..... ;-)
Quote by Heaven1970
It's up to each couple or single how they organise their meets; nobody else can say how they should arrange them.
good poimt, maybe i should re word it as in does it put a guy off if a gal was to ask them then?
It doesn't put me off, in fact it's a definite plus because you know it isn't just the guy of a couple pushing for a meet. That said, some guys do prefer to think they are in charge, even when they rarely are
Quote by winchwench
Your way with words?
Heaven- yes, I think there is a tendancy for some guys to be frightened off by women who are up front. Shame really.
Yes that and the fact (disclaimer.. don't know for sure
) he could well be married and just on there for some 'relief' and suddenly thought ... :eeek: oops now what do I do?? Quote by Unc
It's up to each couple or single how they organise their meets; nobody else can say how they should arrange them.
good poimt, maybe i should re word it as in does it put a guy off if a gal was to ask them then?
It doesn't put me off, in fact it's a definite plus because you know it isn't just the guy of a couple pushing for a meet. That said, some guys do prefer to think they are in charge, even when they rarely are
unc me old mucker the thing is i am in charge pmsl Quote by Whipsnspurs
i agree with kent. we have put in our profile and advert that we want single men, but still we get the almost single and almost married. some of those who are single don't know what they want either, casual sex or a relationship.
being new to this is hard for me coz i'm quite apprehensive about meeting people in this situation for the first time. but i can be quite forward with someone i'm comfortable with.
can't do right for doing wrong i think
fair point made again there whips, as personally i wouldnt want to meet someone that is almost single, however jus coz it says single on there profile doesnt always mean they are single anyway
Quote by Djones2008
I think classing the first meeting as a get to know eachother meeting is the best way to go. then if you get on you can kick things off really quickly, if you don't you both know where you stand and no harm has been done!
Hope that makes sense!
our first meet is always only purely social, but thats my point, where do ya go from there? is it down to that couple to say yes we would play, or should that be left to the guy. The other problem is we like to chat for a while with peeps before that first meet anyway, and are worried that if we are to be the ones to say would u like to meet again for more fun, and they arent so keen, would this ruin any friendship or cause any problems in a social situation in the future?
:doh: Quote by Heaven1970
is it down to that couple to say yes we would play, or should that be left to the guy.
I don't think it really matters, its just whichever feels able to say it :thumbup:
Quote by Heaven1970
The other problem is we like to chat for a while with peeps before that first meet anyway, and are worried that if we are to be the ones to say would u like to meet again for more fun, and they arent so keen, would this ruin any friendship or cause any problems in a social situation in the future?
No I don't think so
If the friendship was a good one you should be able to say no without it causing offence.
Quote by hell1970
It doesn't put me off, in fact it's a definite plus because you know it isn't just the guy of a couple pushing for a meet. That said, some guys do prefer to think they are in charge, even when they rarely are
unc me old mucker the thing is i am in charge pmsl
Hell m8, only cus she lets you be! :lol: Quote by Unc
It doesn't put me off, in fact it's a definite plus because you know it isn't just the guy of a couple pushing for a meet. That said, some guys do prefer to think they are in charge, even when they rarely are
unc me old mucker the thing is i am in charge pmsl
Hell m8, only cus she lets you be! :lol:lol unc..ive diecided to sort this thread out and say in future i'll say whether we want to play or not and if someone says they aint interested then fairplay we'll go ahead and play on our own lol lol...and unc where the feck have you been old pal??lol Quote by Heaven1970
i been spending alot of time in chat rooms lately, more then usual, and decided to bite the bullet and invited a guy round, jus as a social visit to get to know him better, he declined even after weeks of hinting of wanting to come round. i've also hinted a couple of times that we have felt we want to play with certain people, but are men actually put off by this?? i only ask as only a few weeks ago someone who had been asking to meet us i finally said yes too, but when i asked him, he seemed to shy away. Just wondered if this is a common problem and weather woman from a couple should try to arrange a meet, or to wait and see if a mail is interested??
so want i want to know guys is would a woman asking to meet u rather then u asking them, would it put u off?
can i jus add im sorry if this doesnt really make sense, im a bit tired at the time of writing this and not sure if it makes any sense lol
happens all the time, i think guys just get off on the talk, the amount of times i've been asked if i want to meet and i've said no and been asked if i'll contact them when i'm looking and i have and low and behold soon as you said i'm looking they can't make it, when you a woman sat in the chat room on web cam every guy in there wants to meet you, soon as you say your looking you can't find one for love nor money lol
I think people think if your a woman on a swingers site its easy to get a meet but it really isn't, i was looking for a single guy to meet saturday just gone so i put a add up on lts meet up on the wednesday asking if anyone was free saturday and didn;t get one single bloody reply :lol2: thats when you know theres something seriously wrong with you lol
Quote by winchwench
Your way with words?
Heaven- yes, I think there is a tendancy for some guys to be frightened off by women who are up front. Shame really.
i agree but makes me wonder why they on a swingers site if they don't like up front and confidant women, you have to have some level of confidance to be on here in the first place, they never going to find a shy retiring women on a sex site are they? lol
I have to agree with tiger lily tho if you asking guys to meet is part of your personality and it puts them off then chances are you wouldn't be a good match anyway
Master of Sex
I agree I find it odd the way some men on here act> over recent weeks I have chatted to a few single guys about possible meets with us and have told them they would need to chat to Si too and they all say yea we will. As of yet none of them have I feel a lot of them get off on the chat and cyber flirting and aren't really up for meeting with the possibilty of playing either on the same night or another night.
They are all happy to chat away and get really flirty and sexual in whispers but when it comes down to the meeting they run scared.
I agree a lot of men are scared of sexually confident women but i think a lot of it is to do with their own inadequacies and fear of not being able to deliver what they brag about... or they have a little mrs tucked away somewhere they cant get away from. Shame really cause the genuine singles out there who run scared are missing out on sooooo much fun to be had with couples.
I know some might agree with me and others will disagree but that's my opinion on the matter.
if you want to ask someone Nat you should be able to and if they are genuine and serious they would agree to an intital meet to see how you all get on and then you can all decide where to go from there, being in a better position to assess how you all get on.
They are all happy to chat away and get really flirty and sexual in whispers but when it comes down to the meeting they run scared.
I agree a lot of men are scared of sexually confident women but i think a lot of it is to do with their own inadequacies and fear of not being able to deliver what they brag about... or they have a little mrs tucked away somewhere they cant get away from. Shame really cause the genuine singles out there who run scared are missing out on sooooo much fun to be had with couples.
I know some might agree with me and others will disagree but that's my opinion on the matter.
if you want to ask someone Nat you should be able to and if they are genuine and serious they would agree to an intital meet to see how you all get on and then you can all decide where to go from there, being in a better position to assess how you all get on.
>Waits while the sound of laughter dies down<
:rotflmao:Quote by hell1970
lol unc..ive diecided to sort this thread out and say in future i'll say whether we want to play or not and if someone says they aint interested then fairplay we'll go ahead and play on our own lol lol...and unc where the feck have you been old pal??lol
I'm taking a break Hell m8y:-) So tell Heaven to stop begging me to come round every five minutes
:D 