We have been involved in the swinging scene for many years as a couple although Mike does not play. We dont play regularly and prefer to meet the right person. Recently in the pub I have been getting a lot of interest from a guy who we both know.
We all have a drink and he makes it obvious to us both that he likes me. Mike is happy for me to take this further when he goes away - the only rule is that I have to tell him everything when he returns. Mike goes away next week and I am certain what is going to happen.
I can see you are all wondering what I am getting at - well the point is I have already had sex with him a number of years ago when we had only been together a year. My predicament is should I avoid a further encounter or go ahead with it and combine what happened last time when I tell him or come clean about what happened 9 years ago.
I know as swingers this goes on but I still know I cheated and feel guilty - I hope you can help. If I avoid it altogether it may look obvious.
Mike is not going to be on-line for several days so I know he wont have access to my post and to be honest he does not look at this part of the site.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Should I confess
last reply
21 replies
2.3k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Should I tell him about the past encounter
:? Quote by risky-n-frisky
Where’s the steer well clear option? what happened in the past should be kept in the past, stick with meeting likeminded people rather than someone you cheated on your partner with a while back, could all turn very sour indeed.
Have to say i agree totally with frisky, and i would recommend giving this one a wide berth.
He doesnt know your swingers i take it, so he may well misinterpret whats going on and may think your trying to rekindle the past.
Get things back on track and only have meets with other swingers.
As for coming clean about the past i cant say, i would definately avoid any meets with this guy from the pub and i`d probably come clean about the past.
Only you can know how this confession will go down with your hubby, so only you can decide what to do
Good luck and hope this helps in some way.
Quote by risky-n-frisky
Where’s the steer well clear option? what happened in the past should be kept in the past, stick with meeting likeminded people rather than someone you cheated on your partner with a while back, could all turn very sour indeed.
Agree.:thumbup:
This is a minefield that could blow up in your face, with possible dire consequences.
Avoid at all costs.
Orgasminator
Only you know him well enough to know how it might go, only you know if you can keep it a secret if you dont tell him, and only you have to live with the consequences whatever you do. So only you can decide what to do.
It might seem to many that not telling him about before is one thing, and doing it again now is a bit dangerous because of tempting the past to bite you on the arse, but to put it on here even if he doesn't usually look, is just asking for trouble.
It might seem to many that not telling him about before is one thing, and doing it again now is a bit dangerous because of tempting the past to bite you on the arse, but to put it on here even if he doesn't usually look, is just asking for trouble.
Sex God
If you feel you have to ask for advice here then I'd guess your instincts are already telling you what you should be doing, you should listen to them.
I'd also be tempted to ask a Mod to delete this thread for you... just to be on the safe side. Leave what happened in the past where it belongs, in the past. Someone very wise told me once that you should never go back. They were right, certainly for me. Only you can decide what's right for you and whether spending time with this guy is worth risking your relationship with Mike for.
I wish you lots of luck... these situations are never easy.
I'd also be tempted to ask a Mod to delete this thread for you... just to be on the safe side. Leave what happened in the past where it belongs, in the past. Someone very wise told me once that you should never go back. They were right, certainly for me. Only you can decide what's right for you and whether spending time with this guy is worth risking your relationship with Mike for.
I wish you lots of luck... these situations are never easy.
I don't see the point of this thread really, as you have already said that you know whats going to happen. You know you are going to shag him while ya bloke is away ... right?
You say that you both decide who is the right person for you to play with. Your bloke cannot make an informed decision if he has no idea what went on previously with this guy.
I take it you shagged this guy before you both decided to partake in this lifestyle?? If this is the case then you were unfaithful 9 years ago and I think you know that if your bloke had any knowledge of this he wouldn't agree to you seeing him at all never mind when he is away.
I believe the only options are:
1. Don't tell him but steer clear of this guy and pray to God that ya fella doesn't find out what happened 9 years ago.
2. Tell ya fella what happened, expect a big argument and be told to steer clear of this other guy (and maybe any other guys until he feels he can trust you again).
You say that you both decide who is the right person for you to play with. Your bloke cannot make an informed decision if he has no idea what went on previously with this guy.
I take it you shagged this guy before you both decided to partake in this lifestyle?? If this is the case then you were unfaithful 9 years ago and I think you know that if your bloke had any knowledge of this he wouldn't agree to you seeing him at all never mind when he is away.
I believe the only options are:
1. Don't tell him but steer clear of this guy and pray to God that ya fella doesn't find out what happened 9 years ago.
2. Tell ya fella what happened, expect a big argument and be told to steer clear of this other guy (and maybe any other guys until he feels he can trust you again).
Sex God
We, Wendy and I are odd swingers. Perhaps our first step towards today, happened when I came home early and found a guy had just left my wife.
She found it distressing, I was delighted. It was well over a year after we married, two years after we met. Something like cheating? May be? It did help us move towards swinging, does it help you? No?
Safest thing to do is forget, him and what happened.
She found it distressing, I was delighted. It was well over a year after we married, two years after we met. Something like cheating? May be? It did help us move towards swinging, does it help you? No?
Safest thing to do is forget, him and what happened.
Sex God
For me the only option would be :
Tell the guy you won't be meeting, tell hubby what happened in the past. Make it clear you have no intention of meeting the guy. Hope to hell he understands and forgives.
Tell the guy you won't be meeting, tell hubby what happened in the past. Make it clear you have no intention of meeting the guy. Hope to hell he understands and forgives.
Sex God
No you shouldn't confess. It might stir a whole lot of shit up that you'll regret just move on. Stop seeing your prospective bed mate and get on with swinging in honesty elsewhere. Come on its not as though you'd be unable to find a decent shag elsewhere without having the baggage this entails. Listen to yourself and the general consensus, wise up and smell the coffee. stop being a doughnut.
Sex God
Quote by Dirtygirly
If you feel you have to ask for advice here then I'd guess your instincts are already telling you what you should be doing, you should listen to them.
I'd also be tempted to ask a Mod to delete this thread for you... just to be on the safe side. Leave what happened in the past where it belongs, in the past. Someone very wise told me once that you should never go back. They were right, certainly for me. Only you can decide what's right for you and whether spending time with this guy is worth risking your relationship with Mike for.
I wish you lots of luck... these situations are never easy.
Quote by Lost
No you shouldn't confess. It might stir a whole lot of shit up that you'll regret just move on. Stop seeing your prospective bed mate and get on with swinging in honesty elsewhere. Come on its not as though you'd be unable to find a decent shag elsewhere without having the baggage this entails. Listen to yourself and the general consensus, wise up and smell the coffee. stop being a doughnut.
In reply to Lost and Dirtygirlys bit in bold hmm come on this is on the net now! Plus this is a swingers site so is it really fair for the guy not to know now that EVERYONE ELSE DOES. Bit unfair for him now that members sending messages know his partner has or will do a bit on the side but he wont know that they know that unless he clicks his own post history of course. I think its a commonly known quote from a cheated partner that the worst part of it is that they are always the last to know.
Ohh and Lostys, welcome back or temporarily back whatever the case is
