One thing that was never short in my house growing up was love and affection from mum and dad. We used to all sit round the dinner table every night and have our evening meal together and were encouraged to talk to each other. Off topic I know but a very important part of my upbringing.
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Should smacking children be banned?
Sex God
Quote by browning
One thing that was never short in my house growing up was love and affection from mum and dad. We used to all sit round the dinner table every night and have our evening meal together and were encouraged to talk to each other. Off topic I know but a very important part of my upbringing.
same here. not that it worked all the time but it was family time i try to do the same with my son when i can get him to sit still long enough
Quote by browning
One thing that was never short in my house growing up was love and affection from mum and dad. We used to all sit round the dinner table every night and have our evening meal together and were encouraged to talk to each other. Off topic I know but a very important part of my upbringing.
browning.....that was a HOVIS advert youre confusing yourself with!!!
:lol:just kidding hun, i think love and affection is what shapes you into a stable and mature, well rounded individual, whether it be hugs, kisses, talking or listening, its all love, and all good for ya
Looking back on my childhood I realise how lucky I was. Even now when we all get together we sit round the table eating and drinking and giggling and it's brilliant. I'm also very lucky because although my parents are now divorced, they still get on brilliantly and go out for dinner together on a regular basis.
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
My sister has a naughty mat by the front door, works brilliant with the older kids.
but how does a 21 year old fit on a doormat
I nearly dropped my coffee laughing at that one. I am SO going to put mine on the naughty mat when he doesn't work hard at his maths
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D 
Master of Sex
most people accept that there are conseqences to our we would not think a slapping from a cop was appropriate punishment for speeding,so why should we impose physical punishment on our little people ?
Sex God
Quote by Dizzy_DonnaCouple
yes I have like i said I had a smack as a child not all the time but when I deserved it me and my mum are best mates I was a night mare child and need a belt, wooden spoon or cane when I was bad it did me no harm at all :smile2:
So would this be the kind of punishment you would meter out to children of your own should the crime fit?
I have woken this morning and asked my 16 year son should smacking a child be banned? He responded with NO it shouldn't as he said " there is no harm caused by a smack on the leg or hand, the thing it has taught him was to think twice before doing the same thing again. He went on to say schools he feels should bring back the cane. Maybe we should ask the children of this society what is best for them. He then said some of the children he knows where smacking isnt given within the home are sometimes the ones that inflict it on others.
My conclusion on this is can a smack tell a child that it hurts thus inflicting it on others
My conclusion on this is can a smack tell a child that it hurts thus inflicting it on others
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I have woken this morning and asked my 16 year son should smacking a child be banned? He responded with NO it shouldn't as he said " there is no harm caused by a smack on the leg or hand, the thing it has taught him was to think twice before doing the same thing again. :
you seem it seems to be able to talk and comminicate with your son...so why was there a need to smack him, when a stern word..could have had the same effect.
as stated before as far as i'm concerned it is simply bullying in another form. We would not slap an adult that steps out of line, even though they should and no doubt, do know better. But because a child is smaller, people consider it acceptable to smack??
No differant to the school bully that picks on those weaker than himself in the playground !!!
My son has never been smacked. When asked if he thought that smacking should be banned, his opinion was that it should be. 'then parents would speak to their children and take some time to understand them'
My point by saying this is that children are shaped by their experiences as we all are. His opinion is vaild to me and it also validates mine as it would with his smack free childhood. He, thankfully, does not know a life where the threat of a smack or violence is a reality.
When he was growing up he was put on the stairs.(he had to tell me precisely what he had done wrong. He then had to tell me what he should have done in the same situation, and what he would do in future- this taught him reasoning skills) That is still a threat now as a strapping teenager. I also ban him from all electrical items now he is older and he remembers when he was a toddler and wouldn't tidy up after himself all of his toys being removed and given to charity. I never threatened anything I wasn't willing to carry out and there were and are clear levels that he and I both understand. (I must confess that I have also spent time on the stairs at his behest for shouting at him for no reason- the outcome of that was that when I come home and am in a bad mood I will tell him and go and have 10 mins to relax)
I believe that touching a child without their permission is the same as doing it to an adult - wrong.
Just as an aside.. my son was wrestling with a friend of his in the bedroom. I told him I didn't like it as it was violent and his response was 'all young people have to know their limits mum, we both agree to it and both want to wrestle. If we want to stop then the other will stop too' I didn't like it and it made me uncomfortable that this was part of their 'play' but they did both agree to it.
When he was little and old enough to be walking by himself (not always holding hands) I taught him to stop when I said 'stop' this took time and effort and was initially a game. I used it when I needed to.
I could go on and on and on.. but I won't. My son is, of course, wonderful, well adjusted etc etc. I am biased.
My ex's son who I raised for 6 years came to me as a smacked child. He for various reasons was severely damaged. (not just because of the smacking) His grandparents and aunt who thought that I was the cause of his problems (homophobic reasons) contacted me 2 years after I split from his mother and thanked me for giving him the parenting that he sorely needed and wished that I was still his parent. They apologised profusely for all the effort they had put into slating me and trying to get me out of his and his mother's life. He has returned to being the unhappy young man that he was when I first met him.
I think there are many many ways to parent. I just can't advocate smacking as one of the ways.
My point by saying this is that children are shaped by their experiences as we all are. His opinion is vaild to me and it also validates mine as it would with his smack free childhood. He, thankfully, does not know a life where the threat of a smack or violence is a reality.
When he was growing up he was put on the stairs.(he had to tell me precisely what he had done wrong. He then had to tell me what he should have done in the same situation, and what he would do in future- this taught him reasoning skills) That is still a threat now as a strapping teenager. I also ban him from all electrical items now he is older and he remembers when he was a toddler and wouldn't tidy up after himself all of his toys being removed and given to charity. I never threatened anything I wasn't willing to carry out and there were and are clear levels that he and I both understand. (I must confess that I have also spent time on the stairs at his behest for shouting at him for no reason- the outcome of that was that when I come home and am in a bad mood I will tell him and go and have 10 mins to relax)
I believe that touching a child without their permission is the same as doing it to an adult - wrong.
Just as an aside.. my son was wrestling with a friend of his in the bedroom. I told him I didn't like it as it was violent and his response was 'all young people have to know their limits mum, we both agree to it and both want to wrestle. If we want to stop then the other will stop too' I didn't like it and it made me uncomfortable that this was part of their 'play' but they did both agree to it.
When he was little and old enough to be walking by himself (not always holding hands) I taught him to stop when I said 'stop' this took time and effort and was initially a game. I used it when I needed to.
I could go on and on and on.. but I won't. My son is, of course, wonderful, well adjusted etc etc. I am biased.
My ex's son who I raised for 6 years came to me as a smacked child. He for various reasons was severely damaged. (not just because of the smacking) His grandparents and aunt who thought that I was the cause of his problems (homophobic reasons) contacted me 2 years after I split from his mother and thanked me for giving him the parenting that he sorely needed and wished that I was still his parent. They apologised profusely for all the effort they had put into slating me and trying to get me out of his and his mother's life. He has returned to being the unhappy young man that he was when I first met him.
I think there are many many ways to parent. I just can't advocate smacking as one of the ways.
We all have our opinions on this subject and it makes for an intersting read I am glad I posted this thread.
Before having children I believed I would never smack a child. I have always had the ability to reason, but have found very occasionally the smack is the last result when all other methods have failed. My children mean the world to me having lost 3, 2 miscarriges and a 38 week stillborn. The ones I have are precious and I am truly grateful. I dont see a smack on the legs or hand as a barbaric act. I have read all the comments, both for and against and see everyones views as i have an open mind and question my actions in all that I do.
Isn't this a way for us all to learn?
Before having children I believed I would never smack a child. I have always had the ability to reason, but have found very occasionally the smack is the last result when all other methods have failed. My children mean the world to me having lost 3, 2 miscarriges and a 38 week stillborn. The ones I have are precious and I am truly grateful. I dont see a smack on the legs or hand as a barbaric act. I have read all the comments, both for and against and see everyones views as i have an open mind and question my actions in all that I do.
Isn't this a way for us all to learn?
Sex God
Quote by Plimboy
At one time, doctors use to briefly smack on the cheek to bring someone out of hysteria.
I think with children, it should be a last resort, but yes - it may be necessary on occassions, especially with boys.
Plim
Why especially with boys?
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
At one time, doctors use to briefly smack on the cheek to bring someone out of hysteria.
I think with children, it should be a last resort, but yes - it may be necessary on occassions, especially with boys.
Plim
Why especially with boys?
I wondered that to - if anything imo its easier to get boys to do as they are told or is my son just a mummies boy
Quote by X_fanny_x
At one time, doctors use to briefly smack on the cheek to bring someone out of hysteria.
I think with children, it should be a last resort, but yes - it may be necessary on occassions, especially with boys.
Plim
Why especially with boys?
I wondered that to - if anything imo its easier to get boys to do as they are told or is my son just a mummies boy
Some boys only respond to corporal punishment - as a man I could never hit my daughters anyway, but I knew a father who did - wrong to me :!:
Plim
Sex God
Quote by Plimboy
At one time, doctors use to briefly smack on the cheek to bring someone out of hysteria.
I think with children, it should be a last resort, but yes - it may be necessary on occassions, especially with boys.
Plim
Why especially with boys?
I wondered that to - if anything imo its easier to get boys to do as they are told or is my son just a mummies boy
Some boys only respond to corporal punishment - as a man I could never hit my daughters anyway, but I knew a father who did - wrong to me :!:
PlimSeems sexist to me but thats your own opinion which you are very much entitled to
Sex God
Quote by Plimboy
At one time, doctors use to briefly smack on the cheek to bring someone out of hysteria.
I think with children, it should be a last resort, but yes - it may be necessary on occassions, especially with boys.
Plim
Why especially with boys?
I wondered that to - if anything imo its easier to get boys to do as they are told or is my son just a mummies boy
Some boys only respond to corporal punishment - as a man I could never hit my daughters anyway, but I knew a father who did - wrong to me :!:
Plim
Some girls only respond to corporal punishment too.
Sex God
Quote by cu3b4ll
Some girls only respond to corporal punishment too.
Is that an invitation?
:giggle:
:rascal: :twisted:
Sex God
I always think of FB as a General not a corporal :lol2:
Orgasminator
This is a very thought provoking topic, with many different views.
Should smacking be banned?
No.
But, as has been mentioned several times, a smack should be on the back-side, or on the back of the legs.
The child should also know the limits of acceptable behaviour, as well. A smack should not be the first punishment. It should be given only if prior warnings weren't listened to.
Discipline, or lack of it, raises other questions.
Did smacking of children cause problem in the early 1900s?
It appears not.
In the mid 1900s?
Again, apparently not.
And certainly there are children out there who are well behaved, and a pleasure to have visit your house.
But, unfortunately, there seem to be a great number who would not be welcome in a great number of households.
Why?
What's missing?
What's gone wrong?
Chidren aren't born with the ability to behave or misbehave. They have to be guided until they are at an age, or maturity, to be able to make their own decisions.
Why do so many seem to have been guided wrongly?
Should smacking be banned?
No.
But, as has been mentioned several times, a smack should be on the back-side, or on the back of the legs.
The child should also know the limits of acceptable behaviour, as well. A smack should not be the first punishment. It should be given only if prior warnings weren't listened to.
Discipline, or lack of it, raises other questions.
Did smacking of children cause problem in the early 1900s?
It appears not.
In the mid 1900s?
Again, apparently not.
And certainly there are children out there who are well behaved, and a pleasure to have visit your house.
But, unfortunately, there seem to be a great number who would not be welcome in a great number of households.
Why?
What's missing?
What's gone wrong?
Chidren aren't born with the ability to behave or misbehave. They have to be guided until they are at an age, or maturity, to be able to make their own decisions.
Why do so many seem to have been guided wrongly?
Sex God
"And certainly there are children out there who are well behaved, and a pleasure to have visit your house.
But, unfortunately, there seem to be a great number who would not be welcome in a great number of households."
Sadly this is true. We have friends who's childrens behavior has been so rude it has changed the way our relationship is....shame as they are great to be with.
But, unfortunately, there seem to be a great number who would not be welcome in a great number of households."
Sadly this is true. We have friends who's childrens behavior has been so rude it has changed the way our relationship is....shame as they are great to be with.
Quote by firelizard
"And certainly there are children out there who are well behaved, and a pleasure to have visit your house.
But, unfortunately, there seem to be a great number who would not be welcome in a great number of households."
Sadly this is true. We have friends who's childrens behavior has been so rude it has changed the way our relationship is....shame as they are great to be with.
But were the ones not welcome at your house smacked as the last form of discipline?
Or were the children that were a pleasure to have?
I personally dont agree with smacking children, i have 3 and can honestly say i have never risen a had to any of mine, saying that so long as people arnt beating their kids up what others do is nothing to do with me, but i hate to see people hitting children it just sadens me, even if the kid is playing up
Quote by X_fanny_x
At one time, doctors use to briefly smack on the cheek to bring someone out of hysteria.
I think with children, it should be a last resort, but yes - it may be necessary on occassions, especially with boys.
Plim
Why especially with boys?
I wondered that to - if anything imo its easier to get boys to do as they are told or is my son just a mummies boy
Some boys only respond to corporal punishment - as a man I could never hit my daughters anyway, but I knew a father who did - wrong to me :!:
PlimSeems sexist to me but thats your own opinion which you are very much entitled to
me too i dont understand that at all, i could see in a family like that the little boy feeling not as loved as his sister if she got away with not being smacked for things he did
Quote by X_fanny_x
At one time, doctors use to briefly smack on the cheek to bring someone out of hysteria.
I think with children, it should be a last resort, but yes - it may be necessary on occassions, especially with boys.
Plim
Why especially with boys?
I wondered that to - if anything imo its easier to get boys to do as they are told or is my son just a mummies boy
Some boys only respond to corporal punishment - as a man I could never hit my daughters anyway, but I knew a father who did - wrong to me :!:
PlimSeems sexist to me but thats your own opinion which you are very much entitled to
I think all children should be treated the same! I have 2 boys 1 girl it is my daughter that is hardest to raise in some aspects.
All of these things that we are facing now really hurt my head.....We are all having common sense driven right out of the human mind......Of course there are and always have been people that do not react or behave in a proper manner...nothing has changed over the ages there and laws have always been in place (acted on is another matter) to deal with that. But for gods sake who hid the common sense we should all in theory have been born with!! The do gooders within government agencies etc are making the problems on the streets and in the homes worse by not letting us use common sense.
Has anybody ever read the back of certain non food products that advise against swallowing...ffs..doh! ok I feel better now rant over :P
Has anybody ever read the back of certain non food products that advise against swallowing...ffs..doh! ok I feel better now rant over :P