I think Social Services are spot on with this.
god this is a hard one, this is a question that even has me arguing/debating with myself.
on one hand i understand when people say smacking shouldnt be banned,probaly because we have all done it.
however when i search within myself i know it was wrong. i hear people say " i was smacked and it never did me no harm" but did it do you any good? or did you turn out ok because of love respect values and moral that were installe din you, not the smack or leathering you got??
when i look at the smackig debate now, as a older wiser and calmer person, i honesty can say i dont think any child should be physically struck, nor should they be mentally, or sexually abused or face neglect or no love.
would i ever strike any child that wasnt my own?? no way, would i be appalled if i saw my daughter smack her daughter yes.
so i cant accept smacking.
in the case of the recent story about the foster family i actually sat there and though how stupid are they to bring this to the attention of the media.
they did say they have or would smacked their own children, however would not smack a foster child???
hello why??? if you can find the means or restraint to deal with someone elses child without smacking then why not your own??
and why should the foster child have to witness their children being smacked or threatened with it?
its not an ideal world, but i think social services did the right thing here.
xx fem xx
I thought I would relaunch this thread as it can go hand in hand with another I have running at the moment.
I see there are some new forum users around that might like to add their say to what I thought was a good topic to debate.
No, reasonable chastisement or the threat of is and always should be a part of a parents armoury.
My definition of reasonable, one smack on the bottom or legs.
However the penalties for crossing the line into unreasonable should be severe.
What annoys me about the idea of legislation with a topic such as this is that it assumes that every parent in the Country hasn't got a clue how to raise their children with love, consistency, care and respect.
Most people understand the a young child is a delicate thing that needs nurturing and guidance and not abuse. Smacking a child if done careful and not in anger is a clear and concise way to give a warning that they are doing something wrong. Children that are young are not always able to reason between right and wrong as they don't have the experience, but they can understand that if the do A then B may happen and therefore avoid doing it again. Eventually they will fully understand why.
Adults that bully or abuse children will do so with or without laws being placed as they are not doing it for the good of the child, but for their own good. These people are already covered by law and it would perhaps be better to make the punishment longer for those that are found to have abused children, rather than start policing every parent who is trying to raise their child in a loving and controlled/gentle way.
My son is nearly 15 and I can only remember smacking him twice, one time was for running across a busy main road without checking first. I nearly died running across the road trying to save him. He didn't know it was wrong as he didn't get ran over, I smacked him so he new not to do it again. He never did do it again (thank God). It wasn't that he was left on his own as a child as he was holding my hand as we came out of a shop and pulled away on impulse. We didn't even need to cross the road, so it was quite a shock.
The other time was when we were at the shops and he stole a chocolate that was at low level. I didn't notice until after we left the shop, so I smacked his bottom, frog marched him back to the shop and made him apologies. As far as I know he has never done that again. On both occasions no mark was left and the tears were more to do with having upset me than being hurt. He would be far more upset if I sent him to his room than received a smack.
I do realise some people will be frowning at my response, but I'm proud of my son and our relationship and I will not believe that makes me a bad parent.
. it is a brave new world and I guess though I do believe in smacking being allowed in the parents tool kit. I also understand that the world has to move on and i guess we can all hope that oneday there will be no need for smacking what so ever. I do however also feel that parenting is a matter for the state to be aware of and guide not do. I guess the nanny state is becoming mum & daddy state.
