Should The Guy Pay?

2 Dec 2004

Quote by dambuster

If only all men thought that women deserved to be treated like ladies..... :P
Unfortunately, they don't. :cry: :cry: :cry:

That's something I always try to do. In fact - no - I don't. It's just the way I am.
Any good Italian restaurants near you ?
one or two.... lol

:lol: :lol:
Dont forget your chequebook. xx

2 Dec 2004

There are women/men only interested in what they can get financially. There are also, men (mostly men I would guess) who believe that by paying they are entitled to sex.
Until you know them best to err on the side of caution.

2 Dec 2004

Quote by Happy Cats
There are women/men only interested in what they can get financially. There are also, men (mostly men I would guess) who believe that by paying they are entitled to sex.
Until you know them best to err on the side of caution.

Fair point Cats but,no - I personally would never EXPECT sex in return! - Surely women are more sussed out than that anyway! wink

2 Dec 2004

Quote by Flirty Fruitcake
There are also, men (mostly men I would guess) who believe that by paying they are entitled to sex.
quote]
Fair point Cats but,no - I personally would never EXPECT sex in return! - Surely women are more sussed out than that anyway!

The women are sussed it's the men who aren't.

2 Dec 2004

Im all for 50/50
But in an ideal word it would be % each with the women picking up the majority wink

2 Dec 2004

Quote by Flirty Fruitcake
There are women/men only interested in what they can get financially. There are also, men (mostly men I would guess) who believe that by paying they are entitled to sex.
Until you know them best to err on the side of caution.

Fair point Cats but,no - I personally would never EXPECT sex in return! - Surely women are more sussed out than that anyway! wink

Nor would I. And I guess that is the same as the vast majority of guys. However, I would advise my daughter to not take the risk of ending up with someone who accused her of leading them on and getting aggressive. Obviously the better you know someone then less the risk.

2 Dec 2004

Quote by dambuster
In my opinion, all ladies likes to be treated like one.
But the trick is to never expect anything....and then if he turns out to be a gentleman it is a nice surprise.
bunny x

Maybe I'll show a little naivety here but I'm usually of the opinion that ladies deserveto be treated like one.
If I invite a lady/woman/gurlie out for a meal/stay over/whatever, unless she brings up the subject, I make the invite to be my guest.
Most of you know I'm single again, but when I go to Munches and such, I always book myself a room; if I end up there alone, that's fine. If I have company, all the better; but it would make my skin crawl to ask for a contribution to the room costs.
Chivalry and gentlemanly conduct is alive and well. We sometimes have to curtail such behaviour however, for fear of upsetting the sandal wearing yoghurt knitting PC brigade.
Just my thoughts.
and my thoughts exactly, i have had a couple of instances where the woman has insisted on paying her way, and would have been upset if they had not, and even one who insisted on paying the whole bill (but that did not feel right at all, and did as dambuster said to quote "make my skin crawl"

2 Dec 2004

Quote by Happy Cats
There are women/men only interested in what they can get financially. There are also, men (mostly men I would guess) who believe that by paying they are entitled to sex.
Until you know them best to err on the side of caution.

Fair point Cats but,no - I personally would never EXPECT sex in return! - Surely women are more sussed out than that anyway! wink

Nor would I. And I guess that is the same as the vast majority of guys. However, I would advise my daughter to not take the risk of ending up with someone who accused her of leading them on and getting aggressive. Obviously the better you know someone then less the risk.
Yes,of course - its a cycle - each new generation discovers these unfortunate facts of life,true.
And some of us grown ups aren't so great at coping with stuff either! :wink:

2 Dec 2004

teppic, I think you may have slightly misunderstood me. You've certainly mis-quoted me.
I don't have a problem with equality; or being the guest of someone else. What I won't do is ask for a contribution.
None taken btw

2 Dec 2004

Quote by Happy Cats
Slightly off subject â€“ there seems to be a lot of young attractive women out on the town at weekends fluttering their eyelids in order to get guys to buy them a drink.

Admission of guilt. 37 years ago when exchange control restrictions meant the amount of money you took on holiday was listed in the back of your passport, we the workers would check all the new arrivals for their cash level. I won't say it outweighed attraction, but when you're living on Â£6 a week, (a lowly sum even then), it had some significance.

4 Dec 2004

:lol: :lol:
I agree with the lady being carefull about what she accepts. But we are talking ,hopefully, of meeting a person we have already been talking to for a while in here or by phone etc.
If I arrange my meets at the ladies location I automatically book and pay for the room. The meal etc is paid for by me and I do this WITHOUT expectations of anything else. Just the company of a pleasant partner is payment enough for me. If anything else happens then thats a bonus.
If the lady is coming to my location then obviously my house is at her disposal but if she wishes to meet on mutual territory then I will book that as well.
It has caused some difficulties in the past when the lady insists on paying her way but we can usually come to some arrangement.
:twisted: Taff666 :twisted:

4 Dec 2004

Hmm. Very interesting thread Helen et al, as it's something over which I've pondered on several occasions.
Personally, I would be inclined to offer to book the room and pay for it, but I would hope that by the time you've both (or all) agreed to meet, it just seems natural that one party will take that lead. And then when the evening arrives, I wouldn't turn down an offer of part payment as I'm not made of money and as has been said, it's a mutual pleasure experience anyway. Or it should be.......
Having said all that, as I enjoy some of the kinkier things in the way of Domination and Submission (me Dom, her Sub) and it can be quite noisy from time to time, I'd really rather meet up at my house, where all I have to worry about is the neighbours (small village, y'see). And if you build into the evening a suitable pause where the lady can take her leave if she so chooses (I usually pop off to the bathroom and say something like "If you're still here when I come down again, I'll take it that you're happy about things.....") then there's no pressure and each knows where the other stands.
So to give a short answer; 50/50 is desirable, but I would happily pay the first time and certainly not EXPECT anything more.
Tony.

4 Dec 2004

Quote by Bikertone
50/50 is desirable, but I would happily pay the first time and certainly not EXPECT anything more.
Tony.

My sentiments exactly cool

4 Dec 2004

Interesting thread this!! I notice that no one has mentioned the fact that the woman, if she has prepared properly, has far more expenses than most men, waxing, hair do, nails painted - maybe pedicure, sexy uderware inclucing stockings and decent quality clothes, all those cost far more than on hotel room!!
I suppose what Im saying is woimen have far more expensees than mes so its only right he pays for the room.
However, there are always exceptions, say the man is less finacially able or if the woman is taking a room anyway for business purposes.
Rhe ideal is if hes travelling on business and has the room anyway and a business credit card!!1

4 Dec 2004

Quote by foxylady 123
The ideal is if hes travelling on business and has the room anyway and a business credit card!

Exactly.

4 Dec 2004

I know girls that do that all the time ! Whats the word im looking for ??
LOL

4 Dec 2004

As an independent gal, albeit a poor one, I would say the cost of a meet should be 50/50. I would of never arranged a meet with someone under those circumstances unless I could afford to pay my share.

4 Dec 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
I know girls that do that all the time ! Whats the word im looking for ??
LOL

Could the word your looking for be "happy"??

4 Dec 2004

rarely lol

4 Dec 2004

i agree that it should always be 50 -50.
i have had loads of guys offering to pay but i always insist on paying my share.. it is only right.. i would hate the idea that someone felt "used" by me.. or that they could feel thay had "bought" me somehow.
i am sure the vast majority of men would not feel this way.. but being an independant woman who does not have to rely on anyone in the rest of my life.. i feel much happier continuing the theme when on meets.
as for women having more "expenses".. well sureley if someone wants to go and have their hair done for a meet... then that is their own personal choice!
the other person should not be held responsible for any costs they have incured as a result! to me thats the same as expecting your mates to buy your drinks all night on a girlie night out.. just cos you have had to pay a babysitter for your child and they have not!!!

4 Dec 2004

TBH to do the job properly, one needs tohave a lot more done than just ones hair!!!
Men on the other hand only need to put on a clean shirt and throw on some after shave!!
I am amazes at all the insistance on splitting cost, I thought we had progressed from haiving to prove ourselves.
Im happy paying for drinks etc, but we have to leave men with some pride!!

4 Dec 2004

I'm certainly not adverse to treating someone to a night out but do think it's a bit rude for the other party to automatically expect me to do so on first meetings. To be practical, I think that it avoids any awkwardness if on initial meetings it be agreed beforehand that bills are split 50/50, as the relationship progresses this will cease to be any kind of issue.
Anyway, most of the discussion so far seems to be about whether the man should pay ... is this an assumption we've all mistakenly made, or are things really so primitive that in these days of liberation and equality etc, that equality only goes so far?

4 Dec 2004

Quote by J3diMast3r
I'm certainly not adverse to treating someone to a night out but do think it's a bit rude for the other party to automatically expect me to do so on first meetings. To be practical, I think that it avoids any awkwardness if on initial meetings it be agreed beforehand that bills are split 50/50, as the relationship progresses this will cease to be any kind of issue.
Anyway, most of the discussion so far seems to be about whether the man should pay ... is this an assumption we've all mistakenly made, or are things really so primitive that in these days of liberation and equality etc, that equality only goes so far?

Ok lets do equality, you go have your hair bleached and styled, your legs, unerarms and other delicate bits waxed, your nails painter, get some decent underware, (no i dont mean M and S) and dress in a quality suit and Ill join you at the cost of a room!!

4 Dec 2004

Quote by foxylady 123
Ok lets do equality, you go have your hair bleached and styled, your legs, unerarms and other delicate bits waxed, your nails painter, get some decent underware, (no i dont mean M and S) and dress in a quality suit and Ill join you at the cost of a room!!

But surely you don't rush out and buy new decent underware purely for a meet? You have that already. As for the waxing, painting of nails, hair etc you do that to make you feel good about you and not only to impress him? What next, he pays for your transport there so you rush out and buy a new car in the hopes of being reimbursed at least half?

4 Dec 2004

Quote by Libra-Love

Ok lets do equality, you go have your hair bleached and styled, your legs, unerarms and other delicate bits waxed, your nails painter, get some decent underware, (no i dont mean M and S) and dress in a quality suit and Ill join you at the cost of a room!!

But surely you don't rush out and buy new decent underware purely for a meet? You have that already. As for the waxing, painting of nails, hair etc you do that to make you feel good about you and not only to impress him? What next, he pays for your transport there so you rush out and buy a new car in the hopes of being reimbursed at least half?
Well if some guy had a particular preferance yes of cours id go out and buy that type of underware. Yes groonimg is also to make me feel good but not excluseively. No transport isnt an issue because obviously he has that expense as well.

4 Dec 2004

Quote by foxylady 123
Well if some guy had a particular preferance yes of cours id go out and buy that type of underware. Yes groonimg is also to make me feel good but not excluseively. No transport isnt an issue because obviously he has that expense as well.

But then you're expecting him to pay for the room, which he can't keep and you still get to enjoy your new undies, which sure you bought for his benifit, but not exclusively either.
Sorry, still can't agree...50/50 it is.

4 Dec 2004

Quote by foxylady 123
I'm certainly not adverse to treating someone to a night out but do think it's a bit rude for the other party to automatically expect me to do so on first meetings. To be practical, I think that it avoids any awkwardness if on initial meetings it be agreed beforehand that bills are split 50/50, as the relationship progresses this will cease to be any kind of issue.
Anyway, most of the discussion so far seems to be about whether the man should pay ... is this an assumption we've all mistakenly made, or are things really so primitive that in these days of liberation and equality etc, that equality only goes so far?

Ok lets do equality, you go have your hair bleached and styled, your legs, unerarms and other delicate bits waxed, your nails painter, get some decent underware, (no i dont mean M and S) and dress in a quality suit and Ill join you at the cost of a room!!
I think you're confusing making an effort with equality and spending money, and it sounds a bit like "I've spent Â£x so i think you should spend Â£x too" ... I certainly would make an effort to look my best and make a good impression but how good you look and the impression you make isn't just about how much you've spent getting there. I don't do S&M on a first date lol

and I don't wear crap suits either, if I felt my hair looked untidy and needed a cut, I'd get it done for sure (but then, I'd've done that anyway).
I don't see where the argument is about paying 50/50 though as it just seems a reasonable starting point to me.

4 Dec 2004

If I plan to book somewhere to stay over with another person and they insisted on paying for the room I would pay for dinner before hand. If they insisted on paying for this too I would at least insist on buying them a drink. If they refused to let me buy a drink after they had paid for dinner and the room I'd find it rude! As WBB, I'd feel bought or like I owed the person something, which I can't stand.
I went to meet up with someone and the accomodation arrangements fell through at the last minute, so I picked up the hotel tab. We arranged to meet again and he said, no I'll pay because you picked up the tab last time. Fair enough I thought, seems ok to me. I am not offended by "going Dutch" in fact a lot of the time I prefer to do so as then the other person has no hold over me. I dislike free loaders and would not tollerate it. It is not fair to expect one person to pick up the full cost all the time and frankly screams "no effort". I would rather someone really make the effort when they can than a half hearted attempt frequently.
We tend to split things evenly throughout everything, if he cooks I do the washing up and he helps me dry and put them away.... vice versa.... all done in no time..... more time for other things ;) the pleasures in life! :rascal:

4 Dec 2004

You may make an effort, many dont!!
The remark arout how much you spend having nothing to do with how good you look is so male, and so wrong!! Cant you tell the difference between undies off the market and quality underware, or the difference between shaven legs and waxed ones?
A hair "cut" is hardly the same as having a proper hair do!!
Its notall to do with money by any means time is a very important factor, few men take much time over getting ready for a meet.
Dont get me wrong, there are exceptions, if i thought a man was work the effort but was skint, Im sure id sort something out!!

4 Dec 2004

It's not about you 'have spent x amount so I have to spend x amount too,' it is about how I want to feel while on the date. If I feel like I owe the person a shag for letting them pay for things then I'd prefer to pay for it all myself and then kick hem out if they are not what I want. If they are great company then I can choose to invite them to stay. I would not expect him to pay, but I would think it sweet if he offered to split the cost or the room. I'd probably refuse... but that is my choice.
I wouldn't go for a stay over with complete strangers as this for me is too risky. I prefer to have talked with them for a while then met them in a social environment. The situation I described above was just by chance as he had not been paid that week and I had so it seemed logical to pick up the tab. dunno

I don't have a go at you for telling me you want to look your best and make the effort, I expect pride in personal appearance as standard. This is about personal choice, not who is right or wrong. I'm sure most people do most things differently, how boring it would be if we were all the same.