My children play sports and I am sorry are competitive they like to win.
I have had conversations with many a parent’s that say it isn’t about winning it is about taking part that matters.
I personally in life bring my children up to know that you can’t have everything your own way, and to respect others in decisions you make in everyday life.
But when it comes to sports I believe you go out to win, or what is the point?
I also believe that you don’t win at all costs you win because you are good at what you do, and if you lose you lose with dignity and accept you were beaten by a better side or person.
It is amazing how many parents that have divided views on this that it baffles me.
Children enjoy being winners if winning if fair, what is wrong with that?
Yes you can enjoying taking part but isn’t winning even more enjoyable?
I do know that some are not as good as others, I always tell my children don’t mock them encourage them and help then, but should we be holding others back to give them a chance?
I believe having other children encouraging them helps them to excel and be part of a winning side rather than aways being on the losing side.
What are your views?
its actually very difficult..and I am split myself about it. I am personally very competitive. I don't consider myself a bad loser, but there is no doubt I don't like losing.....and if I do, it can take away from the enjoyment of the game.
the thing that I do remember from my school, is the picking of teams. We used to line up, and the nominated captain of each team choose one player each at a time. We didn't think about it at the time, but to be that last person standing, that no one really wanted, must have been soul destroying. Especially as it tended to be the same person each week.
So..as I say split..think there has to be a certain level of competitiveness, but it should not be allowed to blank out the enjoyment and the thrill of playing itself.
play for fun, and fun alone.
If someone should beat you, hate them forever.
lp
Competitive's fine if we also teach them how to be gracious in defeat.
We are in danger of producing a generation who cannot cope with not having what they want, who don't know how to rejoice in someone else's success, who need to know how to be generous to people who have done better than they.
At the same time, parents shouldn't give unrealistic expectations to their children but teach them to be proud and confident in their own strengths and abilities - being the best that they can be!
Being a valuable person is not a comparative matter!
:jagsatwork:
I am very competitive. I always play to win. Always.
However, I am not always good enough to win depending on what I'm doing.
Striving to do your best/win is what drives me. If I don't win then I will always congratulate the winner (sometimes the winners are not gracious!) and be driven to do better next time.
Winning is also self defined. It may be a personal best result that defines your "win".
I also appreciate that some people are not competitive and just play for fun. Well that's fine as well because everyone can choose their own way to do things.
All I ask is that schools etc don't remove competitive sports. IMHO that would be wrong.
The trouble is Minxy is that nowadays schools do not like to see kids getting upset because they do not win.
I have heard that some schools went out of their way to promote losing as a good alternative.
A good what? Yes Taking part is an integral part of anything but winning is the end goal. That is what life skills teach kids.
Another example of namby pamby Britain.
I have always told my kids to try their hardest, and sometimes you will win and sometimes you will lose. It is how you accept the losses that count.
Sport is and always has been about being competative, and if you take that away, it is hollow and without any substance at all.
Encourage your kids, praise them when they win, consol them when they lose but....learning to lose with grace and dignity, is what really matters.
As a rule I'm not remotely competitive. When doing my martial art I took far more pleasure from teaching the lower grades, and helping them get as much as they could from it than I ever did from winning a fight.
Play for fun.
Win by accident.
Lose with grace.
Play again.
lp
I think there is always some form of competitiveness, where its either a choice or at times put on you. Schooling children into not expecting it just leaves them less able to deal with it later in life.
I have been doing some charity runs recently and there is always an 'elite' group of runners who are there to compete. The fact that such a group exists, even under a charity event; acknowledges competitiveness, whilst offering the slowcoaches an opt out.
If someone is being paid for it (professional football player etc) they had damned well better be competitive!
As for schools and us amateurs - our natural competitiveness should be enough. Kids who aren't naturally competitive against others can still be
encouraged to try to beat their own 'personal best'. After all, in the amateur arena that is the only thing that matters.
In the Olympics (ok let's pretend it's still amatueurs) there should be award for people who beat their life-time bests as well as the main medals.
But if a person just likes batting a racket around and doesn't care if they win - so what? Let them enjoy the fresh air and exercise. Not being competitive isn't a character flaw - just a characteristic.
as in football the fa decided at certain levels think its under 8s or 9s no competive games as was spoilt by parents by a win at any costs attitude it took the joy from kids just wanting to play i disagree with academys that take kids from a very young age and tell them they cant play at grass roots lev ie newcastle academy wont let them play on sundays for there own local teams so in our local team our goalkeeper cant play for us ,for every kid that makes it in footy theres thousands that dont and miss a lot of there fun sundays with there local teams and mates .up here in the north east schools dont even have a league its just freindly games when i was at school we had a and b leagues at the end sports should be enjoyed for youngsters if they aint good at them they wont bother sport is for all not just who ever is great at them ,being in a sporting family all mine are encouraged to enjoy not just win its the taking part that counts.