This is a very interesting question and very appropriate in the light of us healthcare workers having to have CRB checks now. Take the case of a colleague of mine.
He's been with our company for a few years, a model employee, excellent at his job and liked by everyone. 2 years ago, we all had to have CRB checks done and his showed up some incidents that happened over 20 years ago. Now, I know only the most pedantic boss would take any notice of this but he was terrified in case it was held against him even after all this time. I hasten to add the 'incidents' did not involve kids, assault on women or violence.
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Should we be judged ?
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Sex God
Quote by Sassy-Seren
This is a very interesting question and very appropriate in the light of us healthcare workers having to have CRB checks now. Take the case of a colleague of mine.
He's been with our company for a few years, a model employee, excellent at his job and liked by everyone. 2 years ago, we all had to have CRB checks done and his showed up some incidents that happened over 20 years ago. Now, I know only the most pedantic boss would take any notice of this but he was terrified in case it was held against him even after all this time. I hasten to add the 'incidents' did not involve kids, assault on women or violence.
i have to have one of these for the taxi.
i have to say my army day's where less than clean and came up on the CRB check this serprised me as i didnt think army stuff got caried over to civilion life :shock:
i was also quite sure that any charge be it army or civie only lasted a max of 5 years
aparently not . its always there till you right and ask for it to be removed :shock: 
Sex God
I think one thing that has not been addressed here is what is a mistake? I mean we all have freedom of choice and action so everythings a choice or an action there really are no mistakes. This is a mistake 1+1 = 3. Shagging your bests mate girl is a choice not a mistake.
Casanova
Umm a mistake can be many things to many people but i take it to mean a error. Most of my mistakes have been a error of judgement.
Recent example of one of my errors. I bought a new dress the other day but it was a mistake. It was a error because i thought id look nice in it but realy it looks crap on. My next mistake will proberly be not taking the flucking thing back
If i didnt mean to do something it may well be a mistake but i would say it was more of a accident...but im not a specialist just my opinion others may be diffrent,so i shall be watching with intrest.
Nicky
Recent example of one of my errors. I bought a new dress the other day but it was a mistake. It was a error because i thought id look nice in it but realy it looks crap on. My next mistake will proberly be not taking the flucking thing back
If i didnt mean to do something it may well be a mistake but i would say it was more of a accident...but im not a specialist just my opinion others may be diffrent,so i shall be watching with intrest.
Nicky
Sex God
quote="tweeky"]I think one thing that has not been addressed here is what is a mistake? I mean we all have freedom of choice and action so everythings a choice or an action there really are no mistakes. This is a mistake 1+1 = 3. Shagging your bests mate girl is a choice not a mistake.
hmmmm but surely there are wrong decisions or misguided ones though?
People have the ability to influence and/or be susceptible to influence. Thats the nature of thought and free will.
People who are told from inseption that a specific thing is right and proper and their whole lives into death, believe that to be the case - are they wrong? Ok. In retrospection of course we can analyse and know that something is wholly wrong.
This is why History is so necessary (yes and i know the arguements regarding history and who writes it etc)
Regarding apologies and stuff about how our forefathers lived. I would go with the great philosopher that is gallagher and say - Don't look back in anger.
We learn from the past. How fast and how much is another debate.
hmmmm but surely there are wrong decisions or misguided ones though?
People have the ability to influence and/or be susceptible to influence. Thats the nature of thought and free will.
People who are told from inseption that a specific thing is right and proper and their whole lives into death, believe that to be the case - are they wrong? Ok. In retrospection of course we can analyse and know that something is wholly wrong.
This is why History is so necessary (yes and i know the arguements regarding history and who writes it etc)
Regarding apologies and stuff about how our forefathers lived. I would go with the great philosopher that is gallagher and say - Don't look back in anger.
We learn from the past. How fast and how much is another debate.
Sex God
Quote by Lost
hmmmm but surely there are wrong decisions or misguided ones though?People have the ability to influence and/or be susceptible to influence. Thats the nature of thought and free will.
People who are told from inseption that a specific thing is right and proper and their whole lives into death, believe that to be the case - are they wrong? Ok. In retrospection of course we can analyse and know that something is wholly wrong.
This is why History is so necessary (yes and i know the arguements regarding history and who writes it etc)
Regarding apologies and stuff about how our forefathers lived. I would go with the great philosopher that is gallagher and say - Don't look back in anger.
We learn from the past. How fast and how much is another debate.
in my example i think this would some things up as at the time i was 15/16/17 year's old and hadnt lived
altho i would say for it to come back in later life and bite my arse :shock: i think someone somewhere still holds a grudge . i do feel sorry for said person as if they remember something that happened some 25 year's ago and still feel the need for " revenge" i must have hert them deeply or they must have had a boring life
i made mistakes when i was young dont we all ?
i was married at 20 and devorsed at 21 i would class that as a digger mistake than the one that started this thread ?! iv never had this one mentioned before
The Jewish have their Day of Atonement, which is the day they repair arguments and wrongdoings to each other and other fellow humans. Sometimes it may take several years to patch up a quarrel. But it's an example of a specifically appointed day to focus on apologies and such like.
Recently those families of soldiers shot as deserters in the First World War were given a complete pardon and an apology. This must have been of great relief to those families. They had pursued this for generations, seeking a resolution. So for them it was a worthwhile thing to do.
So its easy to see that other people may have carried a similar torch for a longer period and are also hoping to find resolution.
However an apology is only successful when the other party is ready to receive it. There is currently a climate of professional apologism, which is why we are seeing this happening a lot now. The Japanese also apologised for their inhuman actions to our POW in WW2. There were a few vet POW who actually didn't take too kindly to the apology.
Recently those families of soldiers shot as deserters in the First World War were given a complete pardon and an apology. This must have been of great relief to those families. They had pursued this for generations, seeking a resolution. So for them it was a worthwhile thing to do.
So its easy to see that other people may have carried a similar torch for a longer period and are also hoping to find resolution.
However an apology is only successful when the other party is ready to receive it. There is currently a climate of professional apologism, which is why we are seeing this happening a lot now. The Japanese also apologised for their inhuman actions to our POW in WW2. There were a few vet POW who actually didn't take too kindly to the apology.
The mistakes I've made in the past have shaped me intothe person I am today, and whilst I'm not necessary proud of everything I've done, I'm proud of the person I am today!
If someone called into question/judged my past, then I'd have to a) wonder about their motives and b) be remindful* of my first paragraph and that we do all have secrets/skeletons that we don't want others to know about etc.
is that actually a word???
No we shouldn't be judged, I'd hope people would get to know me/base their opinions on me as I am now, not necessarily something twatty I did 20 years ago.
Cx
If someone called into question/judged my past, then I'd have to a) wonder about their motives and b) be remindful* of my first paragraph and that we do all have secrets/skeletons that we don't want others to know about etc.
is that actually a word???
No we shouldn't be judged, I'd hope people would get to know me/base their opinions on me as I am now, not necessarily something twatty I did 20 years ago.
Cx
Sex God
Quote by swing_fun_cpl
I detest second hand information for just this very reason, it can be so so hurtfull to everyone who comes into contact with it and has often been changed through the chinese whispers process anyhow. Often is spread by someone who has a beef with the person its involving. But human nature means most folk love a good gosip,some more than others.
as you have stated above “ Chinese whispers” and I would point out “ time” and the person telling the story , feelings and such like of said person can distort many of the facts
Quote by swing_fun_cpl
If someone hears something about me i would expect them to ask me about it, and i would be happy to talk about it. If they made a asumption without talking to me ..im afraid for me thats game over. If after talking to me about it and they decided they didnt want anything to do with me ..thats cool thats their right and choice. Plus if they cant use the information they have been given along with their direct experience of me,then are they the kinda people i want to be around....again for me its game over.
a very good point and no argument here
Quote by swing_fun_cpl
My normal attitude is let sleeping dogs lie and whats in the past is history if i havent or dont see or experience more of the same mistake!
I hole heartedly agree with this too
We all did things wrong in our teens and as children .
as “ splendid” has pointed out it makes us who we are . its how we learn not to do it again . we are not “ Perfect”
Quote by Calista
The mistakes I've made in the past have shaped me intothe person I am today, and whilst I'm not necessary proud of everything I've done, I'm proud of the person I am today!
If someone called into question/judged my past, then I'd have to a) wonder about their motives and b) be remindful* of my first paragraph and that we do all have secrets/skeletons that we don't want others to know about etc.
No we shouldn't be judged, I'd hope people would get to know me/base their opinions on me as I am now, not necessarily something twatty I did 20 years ago.
Cx
Well said hun
:thumbup: To move this on to another level . who then is in the wrong ( if anyone)
Is it me for making the mistake in the first place ?
Is it the person who started the roomer ?
Or is it the person who is judging on second hand information and loose fact?
Sex God
My two pennies worth now & an example of myself being judged.
I am an identical twin brought up in identical clothes.
My sister did something she regrets about 10years ago (not illegal). The neighbours found out & that was it - They not only judged my twin sister but also me :shock:
ten years down the line these ex neighbours still nudge & point when I see them in town.
so firstly, I'm being judged for something that I haven't done & secondly, who the feck has anyone got a right to judge anyone
Are we all perfect - No.
have we all made mistakes - yes.
As said by a few above, I respect that everyone is different & we shall not always agree with others however, I respect peoples differences & don't judge people for who they are or what they have done.
two pennies worth over
I am an identical twin brought up in identical clothes.
My sister did something she regrets about 10years ago (not illegal). The neighbours found out & that was it - They not only judged my twin sister but also me :shock:
ten years down the line these ex neighbours still nudge & point when I see them in town.
so firstly, I'm being judged for something that I haven't done & secondly, who the feck has anyone got a right to judge anyone
Are we all perfect - No.
have we all made mistakes - yes.
As said by a few above, I respect that everyone is different & we shall not always agree with others however, I respect peoples differences & don't judge people for who they are or what they have done.
two pennies worth over
I think it depends on what it was that happened as to whether I'd still judge someone 20 years down the line.
There are some things that are unforgiveable no matter how much time has passed.
For example I was terrorised by a phone caller between the ages of 11 and 16. I've never found out who it was but if he came and told me now I would judge him as a nasty person.
Now to some phone calls might seem quite minor but he would phone and tell me things he had seen me do or not do etc. I kept my bedroom curtains closed for that entire period, I'm still uncomfortable with open curtains now. He terrified me and I will always judge him on that basis even though it was 20 years ago.
If we are talking about stupid, unthinking, hurtful acts, that everyone has done to someone at some point, then I would try and judge them on the current situation.
Ultimatly though, we all have our own belief systems and values and these are how we make our judgements. Other people's aren't always the same and so different judgements are made on the same information, whether that seems fair or not.
Jas
XXX
There are some things that are unforgiveable no matter how much time has passed.
For example I was terrorised by a phone caller between the ages of 11 and 16. I've never found out who it was but if he came and told me now I would judge him as a nasty person.
Now to some phone calls might seem quite minor but he would phone and tell me things he had seen me do or not do etc. I kept my bedroom curtains closed for that entire period, I'm still uncomfortable with open curtains now. He terrified me and I will always judge him on that basis even though it was 20 years ago.
If we are talking about stupid, unthinking, hurtful acts, that everyone has done to someone at some point, then I would try and judge them on the current situation.
Ultimatly though, we all have our own belief systems and values and these are how we make our judgements. Other people's aren't always the same and so different judgements are made on the same information, whether that seems fair or not.
Jas
XXX
Sex God
Quote by Jas-Tim
I think it depends on what it was that happened as to whether I'd still judge someone 20 years down the line.
There are some things that are unforgiveable no matter how much time has passed.
Jas
XXX
i can see what you meen
but i would call that " stalking" and if im not wrong thats ilegal
what im talking about is a mistake you made when you were young !
part of your growing up thing .
should you be judged on it now?
and why would someone who hasnt see you for 25ish years just bring it up in a conversation?
Sex God
im no christian but as fire rightly points out
"let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone"
Quote by firelizard
Yeah! stone them until they see the error of their ways!Now ...anyone for stones???? 2 rounds, 2 flats and a packet of gravel :giggle:
"let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone"
Sex God
Quote by sercher01
im no christian but as fire rightly points out
Yeah! stone them until they see the error of their ways!
"let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone"
That'll be me then :smug:
Sex God
Quote by firelizard
im no christian but as fire rightly points out
Yeah! stone them until they see the error of their ways!
"let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone"
That'll be me then :smug:
NO WOMAN ALOWED
unless you got a false beard now get back to the question
Sex God
:shock:
stop hijacking my thread you 2
stop hijacking my thread you 2
Quote by sercher01
I think it depends on what it was that happened as to whether I'd still judge someone 20 years down the line.
There are some things that are unforgiveable no matter how much time has passed.
Jas
XXX
i can see what you meen
but i would call that " stalking" and if im not wrong thats ilegal
what im talking about is a mistake you made when you were young !
part of your growing up thing .
should you be judged on it now?
and why would someone who hasnt see you for 25ish years just bring it up in a conversation?
The stalking laws are very new and just didn't exist back then, but the point I was attempting (badly) to make was that our personal experiences will usually affect how we make our judgements.
I answered my thoughts on the other bits in my original post
Jas
XXX
Sex God
Quote by Juniper_couple
You called .............
Bluddy hell, :P
That is where my black harness went, it was last seen being worn by Jas, then Timmy, then it went to Essex,
Sex God
stop it stop it stop it 
bloody hijackers :x bloody nice pic though
Sorry to get back on the subject. But I have been thinking about the likes of the Beatles and other groups that had terrible acrimonious spilt ups. How they lived for decades without speaking to each other.
During this time, like anyone else, they would have harboured unchanging feelings and thoughts; as time passed by. Then suddenly one of them dies and they can't reconcile.
Also, what about terrible family feuds and frightful fallings out? These can linger for years and generations. they are not easy to forgive and forget sometimes are they?
So perhaps judgement could have some value as it would at least give some kind of settlement and help people to repair their souls.
Without any kind of judgement one could end up going mad with worry and unecessary ill feelings. So one often judges oneself in order to prevent this happening.
Which may well be why there are legal systems whose task is to make judgements, so that people can feel reconciled and carry on with their lives.
Okay more kinky pics would be fine right now.
During this time, like anyone else, they would have harboured unchanging feelings and thoughts; as time passed by. Then suddenly one of them dies and they can't reconcile.
Also, what about terrible family feuds and frightful fallings out? These can linger for years and generations. they are not easy to forgive and forget sometimes are they?
So perhaps judgement could have some value as it would at least give some kind of settlement and help people to repair their souls.
Without any kind of judgement one could end up going mad with worry and unecessary ill feelings. So one often judges oneself in order to prevent this happening.
Which may well be why there are legal systems whose task is to make judgements, so that people can feel reconciled and carry on with their lives.
Okay more kinky pics would be fine right now.
Quote by Jas-Tim
Wow!!we have got to meet sometime....even with the beard!
I had a very similar thought :twisted:
Ver nice pic Juniper_couple
Jas
XXX
The beard goes where i go ........ :twisted:
Quote by Sarah
That is where my black harness went, it was last seen being worn by Jas, then Timmy, then it went to Essex, :lol:
Ok Ok I admit it......... I was playing a game at the local stables and got a little tied up
Quote by jaymar
Wow! you've got a great figure JC.... do you work out regularly? I'm in total awe! :lol:
Gawd now you are gonna hate me lol... No, i do the gym occasionally in fits and starts, but im very lucky that i have a high metabolism and sex drive :lol:
Quote by sercher01
:roll: stop it stop it stop it
bloody nice pic though :wink:
Im sorry babe, I did not mean to hijack so much, merely tried to lighten the mood a little, but i could not ignore everyones lovely comments .....
I promise to be a good girl now
Sex God
you good D ?
that would make a change :giggle:
that would make a change :giggle:
Sex God
:giggle:
good point
your honer i rest my case
good point
your honer i rest my case
Sex God
Quote by Lost
quote="tweeky"]I think one thing that has not been addressed here is what is a mistake? I mean we all have freedom of choice and action so everythings a choice or an action there really are no mistakes. This is a mistake 1+1 = 3. Shagging your bests mate girl is a choice not a mistake.
hmmmm but surely there are wrong decisions or misguided ones though?
People have the ability to influence and/or be susceptible to influence. Thats the nature of thought and free will.
Yeh I agree I made a lot wrong or misguided decisions and I was influenced in making them however the final decisions were still mine and I knew what I did was wrong when I did it. So I wouldent count it as a mistake
People who are told from inseption that a specific thing is right and proper and their whole lives into death, believe that to be the case - are they wrong? Ok. In retrospection of course we can analyse and know that something is wholly wrong.
This is brain washing, not a lot that can be done really.
This is why History is so necessary (yes and i know the arguements regarding history and who writes it etc)
Regarding apologies and stuff about how our forefathers lived. I would go with the great philosopher that is gallagher and say - Don't look back in anger.
We learn from the past. How fast and how much is another debate.
I have two biblical saying by which I live but in time honoured tradition I have altered them a bit to suit myself
An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth
Do unto othere as you would have them do unto you .. and if you were a little git at 17 dont complain when someone knocks off your wing mirror at 2am, pick it up and get on with it (just an example). Karma I suppose I cant complain about what I have done myself.
LOST: The quoting has gone all freaky on me and I dont have time to sort it out
Cheers
Quote by sercher01
If you made a mistake in earlier life should you be held accountable for it now? Not as long as you realised it was a mistake and have learnt from it and would never do it again.
Not so long back someone threw something back at me that I did 25 or so years ago . I think that it being so long ago, you being probably young and not as exerienced as now that its not right to bring it back up again.
Should we be judged on such a mistake year’s later ?
What do you think ?
As I said above, I believe that if you have genuinely learnt from your/ours/howevers mistakes in the past then we should no longer be judged on them. The problem is getting the people that know about these mistakes to believe that we would no longer make them. Its all about giving people a second chance, and taking people as you find them.
louise xx
