single swinging girls???

1 May 2004

hi i am new to all of this and i have a question to ask you more experienced (lucky) people. Well i thought that "technically" swinging was when married couples mutually swap partners or introduce new sexual partners into their relationships? confused

So where do single women (and men) fit into this? I mean for us "technically" all we are doing is making ourselves misteresses to both of a couple instead of just one of the partners. So if as a single woman meeting up with a single man i can't be swinging then,it is just casual sexual meetings between two single people.
As i've said i don't know much about swinging but would like some clarification on the role of single people in the swinging world. As you can tell i am very confused :silly:

1 May 2004

Well done Daffers old girl ( I assume !)
I wouldn't mind some serious input on this one either.
Perhaps the residents of Bedrock have some views as they obviously have thought things through.
Regards to all.

1 May 2004

Daffy...
I know that you will find various shades of opinion on here
You will also find some that would swing but don't cos of fact that their partner does not as well as those that do despite their partner not doing.. sometimes with partners knowledge other times without
Some folks swing with whoever some only with couples some only with singles
It has to be said Daffy that alsorts are represented here
Far be it from me to say which or who is right or wrong... I suspect that that has to be a decision for the individuals involved... If others want to judge than so be it , but hopefully most here would allow each other to take control of their own decision making in the full knowledge that with decisions made and thus the right to make them comes the responsibility for any consequences!!!
Don't even go into the definition of swinging.... it is much more narrow than many wouold wish for...
Just enjoy being here.... removal of clothing/ exchange of bodily fluids is not at all required... some just here for the fun...
Mirth
Just know many more experienced and knowledgeable than I will follow..

1 May 2004

I think your spot on, swinging is the introduction of other people to your sex life so 1 on 1 between opposite sex's isn't really swinging, just adults doing what we were put on this earth to do.
Either way I think both approaches just show a liberal view towards sex, wether it's 1 on 1 or 3 sums etc. Sex is for fun whether it be DIY, 1 on 1 or more. To say one is swinging and the other not is trying to catagorise it. Not everyone that has had a threesome calls themselves swingers and there are people who would call themselves swingers who enjoy 1 on 1.
It's a bit like J likes women but isn't bi but some people are happy ot say they are bi. Saying that if your bi would that not mean you would have relationships with the same sex etc etc. All a bit woolly and open to argument, but at the end of the day who cares really?
I my eyes there is nothing to get confused about, forget the terminoligy and just do what turns you on. :twisted:

1 May 2004

Someone, I think it is MrsFC, has something like the following as their sig (apologies to all concerned):
"We are put on earth for a good time, not a long time"
That, sums up swinging to me. Do what you enjoy with those who enjoy doing it.
It also, IMHO, sums up life.

1 May 2004

Quote by gandjmanchester
It's a bit like J likes women but isn't bi but some people are happy ot say they are bi. Saying that if your bi would that not mean you would have relationships with the same sex etc etc. All a bit woolly and open to argument, but at the end of the day who cares really?

The best definition I heard for this recently was bi-friendly (copywrite Wilma Flintstone)
Not actively looking for sexual encounters with other females but happy to play with the other female if/when the situation arises.
Steve

1 May 2004

Quote by JQL
Someone, I think it is MrsFC, has something like the following as their sig (apologies to all concerned):
"We are put on earth for a good time, not a long time"
That, sums up swinging to me. Do what you enjoy with those who enjoy doing it.
It also, IMHO, sums up life.

Nope -it's our siggy, and it does kind of sum up our views. We don't actively seek single men or married men / couples, more like see who we'll get along with, as that plays a large part of the enjoyment for us.
There has been for some time, a debate on the rights and wrongs of one of a couple indulging in this lifestyle without the partners knowledge or consent. Frankly, that is for them (the 'indulger') to deal with - If a guy tells us his wife knows and allows him to swing, thats up to him to deal with.
As posted on this site:-

What is Swinging?
Well, let's start by taking a quick look in the dictionary...
2 entries found for the word swinging
swing(swng) v. swung,
v. swung, (swng) swingÂ·ing, swings
v. intr.
To move back and forth suspended or as if suspended from above.
Recreational sex between consenting adults.

And there lies the crux - Recreational sex between consenting adults - nothing about couples i.e. foursomes, or 3 somesomes.
We would not however, contemplate meeting as a single male or female, we only swing together as a couple.
Swinging is a lifestyle, some like it some don't, and like many things in life, it has different meanings to different people.
Swinging does have one major requiremnet though - that your relationship with your partner is strong and sound as the slightest misunderstanding could reduce an unsound relationship to tatters.
We have no secrets between us, and discuss everything. Other than having software to hide pics etc from the kids, we have no passwords on our PC's and both of us could read anything on the others PC should we so feel the need to do so. You must be honest and open with each other, and at any sign of doubt, stop or it'll get worse.
You have to be sure the swinging lifestyle is for you, and BOTH of you (If you're a couple) must fully consent to taking part. Other than that, all that remains is to have fun :P lol

(See our sig. lol)

1 May 2004

Swinging adj done with a swing; vigorous; buoyant; (coll) leading a gay, sophisticated life; pursuing advanced fashions; daring, wild, immoral.
So there you have it!!!
IMHO
Where do single females/males fit in the swinging scene?
Well firstly I think long gone are the days when it was just about couples (if it ever really was). Keys in a bowl and all that rubbish. (Although I feel a game coming on for the next party â€“ KAT!!)
If a male and female just meet up through swinging is it just casual sex? dunno

Does it matter?
Plenty of couples are looking for either single fems or single males to play out fantasies. I donâ€™t know as this is using the singley as a mistress to the couple. I am not entirely sure what you meant by â€œmaking yourself mistresses to both of a couple, instead of just oneâ€ as in my opinion, a mistress in that sense would mean being deceitful.
If you were playing with a couple you could not be classed as a mistress (unless of course you mean in the dominant sense). You would be simply enjoying a threesome, which I would presume would be something you have thought about and were looking for.
I think, (and I donâ€™t do it that often) that swinging is about being comfortable in yourself and your relationship. Enjoying your sexual freedom (albeit safely), respect for others boundaries and most of all having fun.
Thanks Steveg for bringing up the Bi issue!!!
I do consider myself to be Bi-friendly and by that I mean that I donâ€™t walk down the street and see other women and say to Fred â€œcorr, sheâ€™s niceâ€. I do not fancy other women. In a playing situation if the other female is of the same nature I am happy to engage in sexual activity.
To be Bi-sexual, well I am no expert so I took this passage from a website.

Bisexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation, which incorporates gayness. Most bisexuals consider themselves part of the generic term, gay and are quite active in the gay community, both socially and politically. Some people use terms such as bisexual lesbian, to increase their visibility on both issues.

Just be Happy Be Safe and Be Horny, who cares what you call it!!!
Yabba Dabba Doooo â€“ We definitely Do!!!
Love
Wilma
x x x x

1 May 2004

Quote by WilmaFlintstone
Does it matter?

As a non-swinger (though not for want of trying - lol), this sentence by Wilma sums up my feelings completely.
P.S. The word "swinging" has no sexual meaning in either of my dictionaries!

1 May 2004

Personally, I think it matters a great deal that each individual has a clear understanding of what they mean by "I am a Swinger".
For couples, it is important that they understand what each other means by "We are a Swinging couple"
What is notimportant, is that we all work by the same definition. For me, swinging is about sex becoming a means to an end, rather than an end in itself.
I feel being a swinger has nothing to do with having sex. It is about exploring and enjoying your own sexuality, and where appropriate, the sexuality of your partner.
If I was to use an analogy, it would be to liken "I am a swinger" to "I am an athlete". A sprinter is very different to a shot putter, who is different to a high jumper, etc etc.
It is not about what you do, it is about attitude.

Keys in a bowl and all that rubbish. (Although I feel a game coming on for the next party â€“ KAT!!)

:twisted: Do your worst Wilma :twisted:

1 May 2004

My apologies Redhot for attributing your sig to MrsFc, and my apologies to MrsFC as well.
:embarrased:

1 May 2004

JQL no apologies needed. wink

I'm after a decorator...... smile

1 May 2004

Well I came onto this site to be a single swinging girl and also have a look at my bi friendly side. Came here on purpose not because I was looking for swings for the kids wink

I know from my experiences now that unless I get into a very very safe one to one relationship where there is total trust I will not swing for all the reasons Fred and Wilma, Kit and Kat and Mr and Mrs FC have stated. Not because I get cold feet, nor because I couldnt because I can be like any single male in just looking at sex as sex but whats the point? Can sort me out better than most men can :wink:
I admire people who can swing as a couple or as a single person and see it as recreational fun. I love their freedom of thought and confidence in themselves and others. The friendships that people make are I think as important as the sex that takes place and like any group of friends, people will move on as new horizons come into being.
I think women in the main who have more casual sex through swinging may feel a lot better about themselves than those who meet guys in a pub or singles websites as the groundrules are clear from the beginning and therefore guilt, shame etc should never be an issue. Women are far more liberated and confident in their abilities and boundaries as a woman, partner, parent and breadwinner.
I stay here not for the idea that I will find my perfect partner as if that was the case I should look instead far more seriously at going to a singles site - I like a wide range of people and the fact that some swing so? And if I swing single or married so? as long as I never hurt anyone.......................................................

1 May 2004

Corrie,
I just want to say I you have articulated (I'm not talking about lorries here, boys) what I have been feeling when you said :
"I think women in the main who have more casual sex through swinging may feel a lot better about themselves than those who meet guys in a pub or singles websites as the groundrules are clear from the beginning and therefore guilt, shame etc should never be an issue. Women are far more liberated and confident in their abilities and boundaries as a woman, partner, parent and breadwinner."
My confidence has been enhanced through my experiences. It's more than just the lack of guilt and shame. It's also to do with the way the guys you meet this way treat you, the way they compliment you and care about you. They are not worried about you attempting to take them "shopping for curtains" as one of my contacts puts it so they in turn feel liberated to say nice things and treat you well knowing there's no risk of you wanting to march them up the aisle.
'Liberation' is, I think, the key word and in my mind 'swinging' equals 'liberation'. Liberation from the blinkered way most people look at sex and relationships. And - you'll recognise this as a single girl - liberation from '...likes long walks along the beach and candle-lit dinners'. Yeah - right!
Jezzay