I've been swinging now for 4 years. I'm a single straight female who just happens to love sex!
I have noticed that when I'm with a guy who is open to playing in public I could quite easily lay down with my man and not get back up again until the end of the evening having played with as many men available. Great! (this doesn't mean I have, but could!)
If I go on my own I seem to spend most of the night talking to friends and when I look at a single guy at best I get a smile in return. Last night I had a great night socially at Chams, which was packed, but only one guy actually came over and started to chat. He was actually a very nice guy, but new to the scene and still getting his bearings. I'm now wondering if this is the reason why he did chat and now just prowl?
So... single guys who go into places like chams. Do you prefer to prowl and join in without talking to people or are you not interested in single women?
It's very strange when you're told there aren't enough single women in clubs and that they are like gold dust how someone like myself can go in and get very little interest at all.
It was mentioned that I may be too picky? But surely you have to have had the opportunity to reject someone before you can be accused of that?
Is there a place for single women in clubs or is it a couples world? If you're a single male do you talk to single ladies or prefer the jump in approach?
Or maybe I'm just a minger?
We always go as a couple and single men rarely strike up conversation , I don't know why though. I'm sure if I was to lie down in a public area plenty would jump on me, but I prefer fun in private so its not often we play as I wait for a guy to make the first move !
I suppose they go for the easy option,( diving on someone who is already playing) and I understand that rejection isnt nice but for god's sake guys how do you expect to play if you can't say hello?
I would feel more intimidated about aproaching a deisrable, sexy woman than an average girly. Having looked at your gallery maybe you're just too good!
Sadly, in the real world, the more gorgeous a women is the less approachable she appears to be to Joe Blow.
It's probably a sexist and mistaken attitude, but the general male perception is that a really sexy lady only wants to attract the equivalent sexy guy. Mr Average therefore suspects that his approach will only be met with rejection and ergo he avoids it.
For example (and to exaggerate to make the point), how many guys (from the real world) would walk up to Halle Berry in a bar and offer to buy her a drink (or suggest they go to a play room)?
Sometimes it's helpful to allow someone to be attracted sight unseen then blow his mind with your gorgeousness when he does finally get to see you.
It works the other way round too though, if I see a guy I fancy there's not a chance in hell of me going up to him and sparking up a conversation. I just sit there and think of all the reasons not to talk to him, in the mean time, guys I don't fancy talk to me and I feel oobligated to talk to them because they've been nice enough to do so. Daft aint it?
H.x
I dont find it hard at all to approach people and wouldnt have any problem approaching a single fem or a couple to chat. In fact id rather make a habit of chatting to anybody rather than just hang around on my own in a dark corner wearing a towel waiting for something to happen or simply watching.
These days i prefer not to go to a club as a single.... id rather go to a club with a single "date" and not play at all rather than go as a single bloke.
The amazing thing though is how many blokes who seem to go regularly on their own....... i dont know how they do it. I definately dont know how they keep them selves to themselves and not approach people.
You don't actually have to go up to someone and say after a few words, "would you like a fuck?" I'm sure that is not how couples interact. All you have to do is say, "fancy a wander round?" and if the reply is, "yes that would be nice" then you have more than likely been given the green light, at worst amber. If they say, "no I'll just stay here thanks" then you have very politely been told that it won't be going any further. How painful is that? Surely it's worth the risk if it means you get to play with someone you 'actually' fancy?
Reference 'peanuts' and the not seeing thing. Does that mean I should walk around with a bag over my head? lol.
Personally I don't see myself as that attractive. I do make an effort and I do like to wear sexy clothes, but I would say I was average in looks and I am size 16 so average in weight too. I can't imagine how awful it must be for a truely good looking woman lol.
I guess there is one thing worse than being a frustrated singly though, and that is a singly who is used to gain entry to a club. One very nice lady seemed to have this happen to her last night and I couldn't help feel sorry for her as that is a horrible thing to do.
Some people are saying they don't know who I was on the night so just incase it jobs your memory I was wearing a white pvc nurses uniform to start with and changed into a black net mini dress thingy later on when it got too hot.
Now it will go silent lol x
.. and here is me a bit apprehensive incase I do go to a club on my own and I'd get bombarded/intimidated
Guess I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet and see.. suppose I'll never know unless I try :twisted:
Obviously i have been to chams many times. Some times i play sometimes i dont. Its all a lottery. sometimes there is no one there i would want to play with sometimes there are several.
We adore single guys but the most anoying thing is if they dont speak. We often strike up conversations with "do you come here often " or do you live near" then if they take the bait and continue talking we are away, if they dont well no loss more fish in the sea.
There is also no point playing coy, done that too many times only to see the guy shaggin some else.
Dont wait to be approached be pro active, dont be pushy but make general conversation, if they not interested they will move on without them sayin no thanks i dont like you.
But worse thing you can do is get a mood on you and wingde as they will soon pick up on that. Most of these guys are there as they have a windger already at home.
its a game of pscycolgy in there. So just smile, be happy and say hi to peeps.
we went for our 1st visit at the social and even though i'm part of a couple - there was part of the night that i went off wandering on my own - so for everyone I met, I was on my own as a single woman.
I agree with Midsprincess - you have to be pro active - make it easy for the single guys you like to come over, or meet them half way :-)
But, as I said, our 1st time there so probably doesn't qualify as an objective view - will have to visit much more to discover if i'm talking sense :-)
Hmmm... I hope people don't think I sit in the corner like billy no mates now expecting people to come over to me.
I do regularly have a wander around and must have said hi to several people I had never spoken to before with my usual happy smile. I maybe spend a little too much time talking to people I know, but then I also spend time talking to people I don't know as I find getting into conversation far too easy. It never seems to be with guys though lol. They just nod and walk by as fast as they can (it feels).
For the guys that like to wander around and see if they can get involved with some action. Remember that really, for a single woman it isn't as easy. She can't really just sit on a bed by herself and start playing without feeling a tad silly. She can't really go up to a couple and start playing with the guy (more so if she is straight like I am).
I think single women in clubs do have more restrictions than single men. I'll happily do the eye contact thing and say hi, but really I'm not interested in persuing men as I do like to be persued and once the contact has been made, would it really hurt to put some effort in and talk? Even if it's something like, would u like to wander round with me? join me in the jacuzzi or get some fresh air.
I admit I'm not going to say yes to everyone that asks, but I won't put you down, make you feel small or try to squash your ego either. I'm all for having fun and that is why I'm there.
hey venus
i wouldnt worry about it. the single guys in there are probably nervous to start with and wont want rejection ontop of that.
a lot of the time the more you are attracted to a woman, the harder it is to go and say hi.
Even then i was dressed normal. When i say normal, i mean i wasn't dressed in undies. Im BBW and never dress anywhere out of my bedroom in just undies! I would never approach a guy either because of as steve said earlier.. Rejection. I would be so embarrassed if i did and was rejected.. In fact i think i would die inside and just go home!!
If I go with someone its fine, if I go as a single fem I get no joy what so ever which doesnt do ego's much good, and like you come home thinking "am I that bad?"
because that is not easy to change after 39 years.
