Singledom and swinging: Does it make it harder?

8 Dec 2006

Quote by dambuster
Are some of you ready for a bit of a shock ?
I'd rather be single.
As a swingle, I had many more opportunities to play.
Whether that be one on one (let's leave that debate alone) or with a couple, be they a "permanent/established" couple or fuck buddies that got together to play; or a threesome with two girls, or me another guy and a girl; or a foursome made up of four "strangers" (for want of a better term) or a "couple" plus a girlie plus me.
As swingle, it's very, very easy to be 'selfish' and please oneself. Go out and look for/get what you want. If by doing so, you also happen to give pleasure, fun and play to someone else along the way - all the betterer.
If I were (as a single) to start aflirting and atarting now, or at 1am, or make or receive a phone call/ /msn thing, and it "developed" - I could just simply jump in my car and go (for it)
At a munch, if I clicked with someone - known to me or not, same applies.
I think all couples know the "ins and outs" of all four (or three x 3) needing to click/be attracted.
Being a swingle is easy.
Being a couple takes much more thinking about, organising, planning etc etc etc.
In edit
Bollox :doh:
I may have misunderstood the question. But I've typed it out now so you can damn well read it ! ! ! !
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

And it was a joy to read wink

One other thing that makes it easier as a swingle is... the ability to be fickle. If one day I fancy doing something completely different to what I would normally do with other friends and buddies... I can just do it. No checking if it is OK, no discussing new boundaries or finding out how someone else feels first - I can make my mind up there and then and just do exactly what I feel like doing. biggrin

8 Dec 2006

Quote by dambuster
I may have misunderstood the question. But I've typed it out now so you can damn well read it ! ! ! !
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

Think you answered it beter than any one actually smile

8 Dec 2006

Quote by dambuster
Bollox :doh:
I may have misunderstood the question. But I've typed it out now so you can damn well read it ! ! ! !

:lol: :lol:
not to worry Dammie, it was a good post anyway......
I guess maybe I didn't explain myself very well (not the first time for that one)........ confused

But what I was really trying to get at wasn't the difference between swinging as a single or as a couple but the diference between dating in the vanilla world versus dating in the swinging world. As I wasn't looking for a partener when I came here I never really expierienced it but I would imagine that if one was dating with the view to finding a partener, it would be harder in the swinging world than in the vanilla one as not only is one looking for someone who you want to settle down with but also someone who whats simalar things to you in the swinging world and that you can explore the world of swinging with.
Or maybe I'm just rambling a little now......... :lol:

8 Dec 2006

Quote by dambuster
Being a swingle is easy.
Being a couple takes much more thinking about, organising, planning etc etc etc.

Agreed ..............Being a couple who arent looking for other couples is difficult too.
It would be lovely for a bi-fem to join us...........but (maybe unrealisticaly) I/we would want her to be our friend too.
As for the comments made about the loneliness of being a swingle female...... I can totally understand.
Wouldnt it be great to meet a single female for play and friendship......... someone who felt as comfortable coming round for a coffee and a chat as she did coming round for a fun night.
Is it possible??? who knows
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

8 Dec 2006

Quote by blonde

Being a swingle is easy.
Being a couple takes much more thinking about, organising, planning etc etc etc.

Agreed ..............Being a couple who arent looking for other couples is difficult too.
It would be lovely for a bi-fem to join us...........but (maybe unrealisticaly) I/we would want her to be our friend too.
As for the comments made about the loneliness of being a swingle female...... I can totally understand.
Wouldnt it be great to meet a single female for play and friendship......... someone who felt as comfortable coming round for a coffee and a chat as she did coming round for a fun night.
Is it possible??? who knows
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello Gorgeous kiss

That would be the perfect solution for us too! I consider the people we have met to be friends as much as you can be after meeting only once or twice, but the popping in bit is difficult when you live in the back of beyond like we do sad

8 Dec 2006

Quote by hornyinslough
In an ideal world I'd like to meet one of each but then I have always been a greedy girl!

>HiJack<
Two bi women and me - sounds like my heaven... :twisted:
I wonder if there are many long term relationships that have multiple (long term) partners? Sounds ideal - but I wonder how it works IRL. Do partners get jealous if two spend more time together, etc?
>/HiJack<

8 Dec 2006

I prefer single
I get a reduction on my council tax rolleyes

8 Dec 2006

A slightly tiddly contribution- apologies in advance!
I think that if you are a part of the "lifestyle" and are looking for a partner, if you look in the vanilla world then you should be prepared to expect that a potential partner will not want to swing. If they do, fine, but if not- then are you prepared to give it up?
However, IMHO if you can't/won't give up the lifestyle, then perhaps you should be fishing in the swinging pond. wink

9 Dec 2006

Quote by PoloLady
... rather than blundering in willy-nilly like a typical bloke.

I have never know you blunder your willy into anything like a typical bloke :rascal:
I wish :rascal:

9 Dec 2006

As a single bloke, I would have to add that it's very difficult to be taken seriously on this site! Yes - I have met a lovely couple from here - but the general perception is "oh no - another single guy!".
I'm not saying it's any easier for single ladies - I currently have 3 lovers (and a couple) and they tell me it's just as difficult for them - but - I can't quite put my finger on what distinguishes a genuine male from the timewasters on this site!