This is something I've been thinking about for a little while and haven't come to any definate answers about it but.......
Does being a single swinger make it harder or easier to find a partner......?
I guess that it was when HD first launched that I started to think about this really, but is dating in the vanilla world easier that in the swingers world. I guess the first thing to ask yourself is whether you could give up the lifestyle if you met someone who wasn't interested in swinging. My personal answer to that is no, as I could never entirely give up the idea of having intimate relations with another woman and so I could not be with a man who was totally against this.
After that there are soo many other factors that come into play such as what your 'swingdate' also looks for whilst they are playing not just your own needs, so not only do you have to be compatible in the 'dating' sense but also in what your other wants and needs are. How far you're willing to stretch your own boundries to please your other half?
I know that everyones perspective on this will be different as they are looking at it from different views but I think it would be interesting to hear........
The perspective I'm coming from, I was a single and am now part of a couple, for myself this was relatively easy as I met someone who I instantly clicked with, who wanted the same things as me.
I know this topic kinda rules out the couples here who have made a joint decision as an existing couple to get into swinging, but if you are in that situation, and the worst were to hapen and you parted for whatever reason, would you look for someone else who you could swing with or would youj happily go back to the vanilla world of dating (I know that there are a lot of 'ifs and buts' in this question).
I`m single now, I was part of a swinging couple and we split but I cant go back to vanilla dating. It does nothing for me at all.
I`m hoping that somewhere along the line I`ll meet somebody while I`m playing who`s single and up for more. The swinging community is becoming larger and not so hidden anymore so hopefully this will make it easier. But as you`ve said, both our needs have to be compatible.
I have a profile on a vanilla website and it gets no interest at all. I have so much more fun on here, vanilla life if definitely not for me.
I look forward to reading everybody elses replies later.
i found it easier as a single, as the person you are swinging with only has to click with one person
as a couple all four have to click with each other or it simply wont work, not for me anyway which can make it more difficult.
i came on the scene as a single with no ideas or intentions of partnering up with someone or becoming a couple, i just found someone i clicked really well with, he felt the same and it was a complete whirlwind and we were a couple within no time that was august and not looked back since.
Earthy xx
I would date someone who wasn't into swinging or was,the person is what matters either way,but it would more likely be someone who wasn't I reckon because I am finding it nigh on impossible to find anyone here who wants to try swinging with me anyway but such is the scheme of things,SH has so many of us single males and so fewer single women and couples and that's just a fact of life lol!
im a single swinger and although i have loads of fun as a single i suppose I would really like to be in a swinging relationship - its always nice to have that someone to go home to and with lol. As a single swinger everything has to be planned and the whole issue of feeling safe sometimes makes it less fun. Trouble i find is that whenever u mention the dreaded 'relationship' word everyone seems to change the subject or just say there want nsa. Im bbw so dating whether it be swinging or non swinging is a little harder cos not all guys (and i have no problem with this, we all have our preferences) like the bigger girls.
As i enjoy swinging and dont want to give it up at the moment I thought it would be easier to date within swiniging then to meet guys 'normally' and then try to bring up the whole subject of swinging
Runtie
i was married for a long period of time and have just spent the last 2 years as a single and tbh i have enjoyed the freedom and the lack of restrictions that yuo get with single life...it has its downsides too but as i see it the glass is always half full!!
at the same time i have come to enjoy swinging as much as vanila life, but have a balance between the two...as i dont wish to give either up.
as for the future..single life will continue as i do enjoy it and enjoy the peoplel i meet but it would be nice to have a swinging partner... am not looking for a new full time partner but would like the best of both worlds.. a FB with extras lol by that i mean someone that would also take part in my vanilla life as wellas my swinging life...is that impossible to find on here?
RWL
xx
Great topic Kate. Whatever I say here I will not please everyone but, that's life.
I'm here because I want to swing however, my wife does not and I respect her decission. At the time of joining I thought that there was a glimmer of hope but that is dashed for now. Still remain here because I love the commuinty and all that you stand for.
I also remain here because there might just be someone who is compatible with me, of the fairer sex, that I can experiance this with. Haven't met anyone yet and not in a rush to. If it's going to happen it will. I know this won't go down well with the married / couples but I am honest and up front. After all, how many single males or females are actually single? Additionally, how many people are having affairs that have emotional conent etc and all the things that come with it.
This is something I have longed for ever since puberty and now with the help of SH I may at some point experience this with like minded people who know exactly what the desired outcome will be.
You all should understand this as there would be no such thing as SH and as pretty much all of the people here that have swung before, would not go back to vanilla dating because they are being true to themselves and their inner self rather than a perception of a sexual deviant who would shag anyone. Surely if this was the case it would be easier to go out on a Friday night give out a few lines and pull someone.
I know that's slightly different but there you are & I know we are all different. I respect the people here and please respect me for being me.
Refreshingly honest post Jamie :thumbup:
There's a double entendre in this thread topic, I swear, I just can't put my finger on it...
Maybe if I squint a bit... No, it's gone.
Cheers
CotN
I find being single in this scene can actually be a little lonely at times. No, I am being all sad and pathetic. What I mean by that is ....
When I go to a meet with a couple they at least have each other to help calm their nerves. I only have myself. They only have one person to try and open up to and 'impress', I have two. Then if things do work and we click, they have someone to share the memory with and maybe get some enjoyment out of those memories with. I go home alone and that's it.
Would I date someone who wasn't into this lifestyle? Probably not. It has taken me 34 years to be able to truely open up to myself about what I enjoy and what I want. I feel I would be cheating myself ( and that potential vanilla partner ) by pretending any different. The obvious goal would be to find a guy that I totally clicked with who was already in this lifestyle and who would then continue to enjoy it as a couple with me. My only concern would be that if I met him in this lifestyle would we both be able to give up the advantages that a single person has to then go it together as a couple. I don't know. Just rambling by this poiunt I think. Time to shut up Abi. ;)
Would just like to add to my above post that I am not ruling out that I might meet the woman of my dreams instead of the guy of my dreams ... lol.
hi abilene
just wanted to say i couldnt have put it better myself hun - although being a single does have its advantages i dont think many couples realise how lonely and difficult it can also be for singles
Runtie
) I would be honest with him about my sexuality and swinging.
There again, who knows what will happen in my life in 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years 
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