The original deleted posting is still recoverable.
Cherche le Mod.
Ice' post was question enough , you are just gonna detract from it if you focus on some long deleted thread. The subject was implicit enough , and as always intelligently put . If I am not mistaken both you guys would answer it equally eloquently . Im looking forward to it , I expect the thread was about some one splitting up with someone , and a single fella in the frame . thats what it usually is , but it was just the inspiration for the statement as he has said a few times now .
I suspect my first post in this thread may have been close to mark.
There again it could have been miles off - still ho hum - its a subject worthy of consideration
hello there everyone,
I have a sneaky suspicion, that the post in debate was mine.
I know it was removed because of the name and shame element, and in retrospect
thats probably fair.
I will start by pointing out that the post was the ramblings of a very hurt lady fueled
by half a bottle of vodka.I just wanted to hurt back.
I met the person concerned on here 9 months ago when I was a happy single having fun
and going with the chatted,and eventually met, we had a lovely time, and decided to meet was this is the turning point of things, It was him
not me that said, he wanted something more and he felt it only honest to tell me.
ok so far so good, we chatted, for hours about it and decided thats what we both wanted, we layed down our rules, the end result being we had 7 wonderful months together.
One of the first things I said to him was that honesty was everything to me,and that if
he ever changed his mind, or found he'd made a mistake, then though i'd be hurt, I made
him promise that he'd tell me,and not let me make a fool of myself.
Unfortunately, he couldnt be honest, and he cheated, so now not only am i left with a broken heart but the betrayal to.
Let me just add that this isnt a bad man we're talking about, in fact quite the opposite a wonderful man, who's only mistake was that he should have told me and not let me find out.
Swinging is a wonderful way to meet likeminded people and means so many different things to everyone of us.I wasnt looking for love it just crept up on me.
I always wondered how people could air their dirty washing (so to speak) on here, I think its because of the friendships and loving community that is swinging heaven.
Anyway, I will be ok,and I'll move on, wont be swinging for a while, but i'll b about.
Honesty, guys and gals, the only thing you need, remember that.
Love and happiness to everyone
candyfloss xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So that should answer a few questions for some of us.
eerm angelchat i never said, i was convinced it was me, just said a suspicion, and it wasnt a
go at ice pie, would never presume i was everyones topic of right its very
sad that someonelse is going through what i'm going through and whoever it is i wish them happiness and a speedy recovery.
As you said you have had your say on this matter, and as i remember you had a lot to say it would be nice of you to let others gain whatever small bit of healing they can from opening up their hearts, as you must of done, instead of presuming that we're all doing it for the attention as some obviously have done.
candyfloss xxxx
OK, purely academically, of course, let’s explore on of the areas where this could be heading.
What if you’re in a relationship with someone and for whatever reason you say you love them – might be in the heat of the moment or that you genuinely believe it at the time. But then you realise that, in fact, you don’t. Now you really like this person and they are obviously besotted with you and you really don’t want to hurt them – what would you do (and don’t say you wouldn’t say it in the first place because it does happen and it would spoil the question anyway).
Would you:
1) Come straight out with it and say ‘I’m sorry – I said I love you but I don’t’
2) Keep going with the deception for fear of causing an upset
3) Get a friend to tell them straight or
4) Get a friend to raise the subject in a round about way to see if the partner gets the message on their own
5) Other – please specify
Sorry my typesetting is crap and I couldn't possibly start a poll!
If you were pissed, then that is the cop out - "God I hope I didnt do or say anything stupid"
If not - I reckon I would try to be honest.
So having done all this. Am I correct in assessing that Ice narrowed things down and wanted the get out. That the woman,(not sure who it is), wanted and was open to the full settlement?
So do we need a judge,a referee or Solomon?
Apolgies Ice if you were/are pissed off. I was wrong and your reply put that right.
I can see why a couple who met in the swinging environment and subsequently fallen out would probably initially seek help from the environment. It makes sense to seek it from like minded people and particularly if they know you and watched the relationship develop. There have been some postings like this. Although it is usually hushed away quickly as being non-cool.
I think you are correct in identifying the burden of conscience involved with swinging. But I think this is something that it has different characteristics with age/experience, sexual orientation, culture/societies.
Which brings me to the expression 'hardened swingers'. I assume they have had considerable experience, and there is no way they will fall into a messy emotional state with anyone.
So do we narrow our experiences by controlling our thoughts and emotions, and avoid hurt and disaster. Or do we go with the flow and do that specail, wonderful thing? Are we so in control that we can turn these thing on and off as and when we require?
I don't think so, Eros and Loki can visit us any time.
From my point of view swinging can only be accomplished with truth and honesty..........this i know from my own personal experience. This experience has now cost me £1,500 and boxes of tissues to escape his green eye.
The one thing that i have got from this bad experience is that i have a bucket load of truthful, honest and caring people that i have met from the room. They know who they are and to be honest without their help and their huge shoulders i dont know what i would have done.
As Ice said u have to be honest...........tell them exactly wot u are thinking and feeling...........they may not always like wot u have to say but honesty is the best policy, so when i say i dont want a relationship with some 1 i mean it. For once in my life i am having ME time that may sound selfish but as long as the people around me or swing with me understand that then no1 is hurt.
I hope and pray that no1 has to endure wot i have, to quote some1's profile 'surely this is meant to be fun, so lets have some together!!!'
I have made a general observation, prompted by someone who I don't personally know who felt let down. It's not specifically about me or anyone else and that is definitely the last time I'm going to repeat that. :P 
WOW **checks keyboard** you sure you didnt read my mind??? 
: :?: