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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
SUCCESS CAN BE DEFINED AS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
fabulous!! it certainly made me smile biggrin
Thank you for that, it came at a good time for me :D
Quote by A+D
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I keep telling my son this as he is always the one that gets caught :lol2:
Never had a grandpa, but this
The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap
is moving!
A friend sent me this, always makes me smile smile
What does Love mean?
  A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to  8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and  deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
   
  "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her  toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even  when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
   
  When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.  You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love  is  when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and  they  go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
   
  "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your  French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy -age 6
 "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is  when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving  it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
   
  "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's  in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents  and
  listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this  planet)
   
  "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears  it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so  well."  Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I  was  scared.I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy  waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."   Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
   
  "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine -  age 5
   
  "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he  is   handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
   
  "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone   all day." Mary Ann - age 4
   
  "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
   
  "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an imagination) Karen - age 7
   
  "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think  it's   gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you  mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."   Jessica - age 8
   
  And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked  about   a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to  find  the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose  next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his  wife.
  Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old  gentleman's   yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother  asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just  helped him cry"
awww stockings, that is SO sweet , made me smile again.....oooooohhh 2 smiles in one day - people will be thinking I'm happy now lol
seriously, this has cheered me up reading these today.
It's funny that people may have this image of SH types as being raving randy swingers lol and then you see a sweet natured thread like this that reveals there's a whole other side to it all!
Quote by stockinglegs
A friend sent me this, always makes me smile smile
What does Love mean?
  A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to  8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and  deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
   
   
  When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
This one made me smile so much    
  "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy -age 6
So mr lyns does love me :giggle:  
   
 
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and
listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!) )
This one gave me goose bumps    
  
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
I must be feeling emotional this one made me get all teary :lol2:
   
     
  "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
was laughing so hard at this one  "
Quote by stockinglegs
A friend sent me this, always makes me smile smile
What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy -age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and
listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an imagination) Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

This made me really smile and be a little bit sad at the same time in a funny way even tho im a 16and a half stone hulking man lol!!
it reminded me a little of that programme "kids say the funniest things" they should bring that back!! biggrin
Quote by Srne
it reminded me a little of that programme "kids say the funniest things" they should bring that back!! biggrin

I remember that one. They should bring it back. I love seeing the parents faces when their little darling was saying stuff about them! :lol2:
Quote by stockinglegs
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
You just know exactly what they mean, don't you?
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
Wow indeed!
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
We sure do!
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
Still applies to adults - isn't it flattering when someone wears something you've complimented them on?
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
Did anyone else feel for this little girl?
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
lol I like this one - not shy about anyone watching me on the toilet though!
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
How true.
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
That one made me fill up the first time I read it sad
Quote by A+D
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Love this thread, gave us a good chuckle. Two more for growing old are:
* If you need a wee, have one
&
* If you get an erection, use it
:color: :inlove: Thankyou :inlove:
On a similar note, my youngest child yesterday saw a man in a queue with a long beard. He stood there, looked directly at him (as children of his age do) and said "Mummy, that man's got a big beard"
I smiled, hoping the man wouldn't be offended at a clearly observant and supremely childlike comment.
Then he said "He looks like Father Christmas"
The man didn't seem very amused and just said back "Well you'd better be good then"
I coudn't easily gauge this man's reaction but he wasn't smiling so I guess he didn't find it endearing. How can people be offended by beautiful childhood innocence?
pink x