some help please

10 Jan 2007

hiya all,
i dont know wether this has been discussed before but it's just something relly niggling. we recently arrange a meet and after a long chat i gave out my sh mobile no for a f to f chat. the phone rings and it's a man on the end, first it was his wife that was too shy to come to the phone, then she was nervous then he says he would meet us with her but not tell her as it would be a surprise!!!!! confused

now i dont know if its my bad mind but the warning flags are up. should i speak to them again or just leave it. they might be genuine but its just something i cant put my finger on. i never arrage anything until ive spoke to the other female but im actually quite concerned by this conversation.
any advice on what i could do? thanks
Lou

10 Jan 2007

NO i would not meet if i was you, safety first i think.

10 Jan 2007

Posted only last week.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/95341.html
does that answer you questions?
Mal

10 Jan 2007

i would never arrange something until i was 150% sure but i was actually quite concerned about the whole surprise thing. i'd kill my husband if he did that.
but then i feel awful incase they are genuine ( still wont meet them though).
Lou

10 Jan 2007

Gut feeling or twitchy nose - normally the best indicators lol

Mal

10 Jan 2007

Quote by wxmcpl
i would never arrange something until i was 150% sure but i was actually quite concerned about the whole surprise thing. i'd kill my husband if he did that.
but then i feel awful incase they are genuine ( still wont meet them though).
Lou

Tell them your fears, if they are genuine he will let you talk to her. If not, stay away from them. You should be happy before you go any further.

10 Jan 2007

Quote by Mal
Gut feeling or twitchy nose - normally the best indicators
Mal

:thumbup:
this bloke got your mobile number after chatting to you and already giving you the impression that you were chatting (msn'ing/ pm'ing) with a couple. He's already lied by giving you various excuses as to why you couldnt talk to her before finally admitting she actually doesnt know :shock: (and that's if there even is a 'she') rolleyes

I think what you're saying is that you want to stop him (if 'they' are real) springing this surprise on her because its not a good idea ? I dont know that there's a way to do that hun when 'she' might not exist.
I'm repeating much of what's already been said I know, but if your alarm bells are ringing - listen to them! instinct or intuition is your little internal warning system and its ringing for a reason. The more you talk/contact him the more he may be able to talk you into it or into at least simply talking further, because you're already having pangs of (unnecessary) guilt 'just in case they're genuine' - and he'll tap into that. Stay away.

10 Jan 2007

Avoid!
you have nothing to feel guilty about.....considering he has been deceiving you!

10 Jan 2007

I got a PM from a man saying his gf didn't like arranged meets but we could meet as long as I didn't let on it was arranged. My comment to him and advice to you can be summed up in just one word...no!

10 Jan 2007

Quote by Mal
Gut feeling or twitchy nose - normally the best indicators
Mal

that you've had a dodgy curry rolleyes

10 Jan 2007

wmxcpl can only repeat very much the same as others... got with your gut instinct.
Been along same road with a supposed couple and the she never turned up!!!! I should have listened to my warning bells then.....Though will do in future.
:smile2:

10 Jan 2007

As said on the other recent thread I had a 'couple' where only the guy would talk to me, he claimed she was 'too shy' to come to the phone and then he wanted me to turn up at their flat on her birthday for a 'birthday suprise' threesome..and never mind his then going on about had I ever wondered what it would be like to kiss another guy! ??!
confused

Even if there HAD been a woman there and not a fictional one, the so-called 'suprise' could have well backfired, just as this 'suprise' could here.
In this case on this thread I think no lady on the phone then no have lost nothing, there are plenty of genuine people you can share possible future encounters with!

11 Jan 2007

Block the number on the phone and personally, I wouldn't touch with a barge pole.
As everyone else has said, go with your intuition, its a lot safer than people give it credit for - ignore it and thats when things usually do go wrong wink

I would not be so concerned over the "what if they are genuine" - there are people out there that prey on those guilt, doubt feelings and believe me, they can be experts.
Now I'm not saying that they are definately not genuine, some ladys dont do the phone thing, but if that is one of your rules, stick by it and dont bend them if it feels at all strange!!

11 Jan 2007

I don't like talking on the phone to new people, which I know is weird because in a face to face situatiion I can talk a glass eye to sleep ;) I prefer to stick my cam on for 5 minutes to prove I am who I say I am, but I will bear a quick phone call to say " Hi" if it's really necessary ;)
Minx x x

11 Jan 2007

Quote by BiWelshMinx
I don't like talking on the phone to new people, which I know is weird because in a face to face situatiion I can talk a glass eye to sleep ;) I prefer to stick my cam on for 5 minutes to prove I am who I say I am, but I will bear a quick phone call to say " Hi" if it's really necessary ;)
Minx x x

i am with you on this one Minxy, not sure what it is about the phone but i get really shy on it.
Earthy xx

11 Jan 2007

Quote by earthchild
I don't like talking on the phone to new people, which I know is weird because in a face to face situatiion I can talk a glass eye to sleep ;) I prefer to stick my cam on for 5 minutes to prove I am who I say I am, but I will bear a quick phone call to say " Hi" if it's really necessary ;)
Minx x x

i am with you on this one Minxy, not sure what it is about the phone but i get really shy on it.
Earthy xx
Myself I think it's because I like to see a persons' face when I am talking to them. That first awkward conversation on the phone where you're not quite sure what to say after the "Hellos" confused

I usually start talking nervous bollox just to fill the silence up, then realise I am talking bollox and get embarrassed and flustered redface

I don't find a face to face meeting so difficult because you can read peoples' faces and body language to tell if you should shut up or not ;)

11 Jan 2007

Quote by markz
Gut feeling or twitchy nose - normally the best indicators
Mal

that you've had a dodgy curry rolleyes

Are you suggesting that I am a bad cook?? and been feeding him dodgy food???
:lol: :lol: :lol:

11 Jan 2007

Same advice as above listen to your instinct, if a cpl dont want to chat to us on the phone then we dont bother with them to be honest whatever the excuse, be it too shy, not a phone person etc, just look for someone else and make sure you get a fem/fem chat early on to save your time, there are soooo many non genuine people unfortunately!!
As for feeling guilty if they do turn out to be genuine dont worry, just tell them its better to be upfront, honest and careful right from the word go, hope this helps a little bit.

11 Jan 2007

Quote by BiWelshMinx
I usually start talking nervous bollox just to fill the silence up, then realise I am talking bollox and get embarrassed and flustered
I don't find a face to face meeting so difficult because you can read peoples' faces and body language to tell if you should shut up or not ;)

Nice post Minx and so like me. I am an expert of talking utter bollox on phones and its bloody annoying rolleyes

I also have a terrible habit of using a telephone voice and I can't stop it dunno

11 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie
Nice post Minx and so like me. I am an expert of talking utter bollox on phones and its bloody annoying

Yeah I know :shock:

I also have a terrible habit of using a telephone voice and I can't stop it

You do?? :shock: :shock:

11 Jan 2007

Quote by Shireen
I also have a terrible habit of using a telephone voice and I can't stop it

You do?? :shock: :shock:
I do but with new phone contacts but not now with you ya daft mare. I've been talking to you on the phone for ages :thumbup:
Takes me ages to behave in a normal manner on the phone (and you know what I mean by normal rolleyes

)

11 Jan 2007

Quote by Dawnie
I also have a terrible habit of using a telephone voice and I can't stop it

When I used to work, it was in quite a large office environment with a lot of high flying stuck up, snooty sorts rolleyes

When any of the receptionists answered the phones they put on such stupid, whiny voices that made them sound like they had a clothes peg on their noses! (Not that I think for a minute that thats what you sound like Dawnie redface

:lol: ) but I used to hate listening to them. If I was in a good mood I could find it funny but if not, I just wanted to slap them!
Anyhow, one of the husbands of a work colleague once told me I was the only person in the office who sounded the same on the phone as I did face to face...don't know if anyone else finds that about me :dunno:
I know what folks here are saying about being nervous on the phone to other swingers that they don't know. I can be a bit like that too although once I've spoken to you for the first time you probably won't get me off the phone the next time! :lol:
I can be a bit of a blether at times.
Fee
XX

11 Jan 2007

Quote by Scandal
in a face to face situatiion I can talk a glass eye to sleep ;)

I bet you're crushingly shy really wink

Fee
XX

11 Jan 2007

Quote by Scandal
I can prove it! lol :lol: :lol:

Are we talking about the same Minxy??? :shock: :shock: :lol:
Shy aint the word I'd have used.... bolt

Fee
XX

11 Jan 2007

Minxy hun, get in here and defend yourself!! lol

Fee
XX

11 Jan 2007

Quote by LadyFeeBee
Anyhow, one of the husbands of a work colleague once told me I was the only person in the office who sounded the same on the phone as I did face to face...don't know if anyone else finds that about me

You sound delicious on the phone and really fekin delicious in the flesh silly

hwoar: