Spot on me bot!

23 Jun 2006

Quote by Missy
and to cap it all you've started calling me Tune ffs!
.

I knew you would pick up on that!!! As soon as I pressed submit I realised I was being all formal :shock:
Won't happen again
Sorry Chewn rotflmao

S'awright Mossy, I forgive ya!

23 Jun 2006

Quote by Missy
Now I know I'm going nuts.
I was getting showered this morning and got to thinking about Missys lucky spot and had a feel of my bum to see if I'd got one and did find something but its kind of to my right side,just a fraction away from my buttock.
Does it count as a lucky spot,will it just get under the wire of Missys strict guidelines?

You've got a lucky football spot and you've showered it?? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Are you competely stark raving mad!! Yes you are going nuts!!!! You coulda showered that lucky spot right off!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
You know what, I bet that spot started off right by yer bum crack - you've just unintentionally jet washed it round to the side!! :shock:
Think yourself lucky no damage was done ........ and get that spot primed up and face painted ready for the match!! cool

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Nobody's ever bothered about my bumcrack on the forum before Missy redface

You certainly know the way to a mans heart.
As is my "sidewinder" spotty has grown so big I think I'll be able pass myself off as a couple so I'm going to try to get in at a club on a couples only me luck! :shock:

24 Jun 2006

Quote by niceandgentle
As is my "sidewinder" spotty has grown so big I think I'll be able pass myself off as a couple so I'm going to try to get in at a club on a couples only me luck! :shock:

It's amazing how things swell when admired by a good woman isn't it!!

24 Jun 2006

:

Quote by Fun365
As luck would have it.... I have been blessed with a 'lucky penis'
It transpires that every time it is sucked or manually stimulated during an En-gland game then we score --- well England and me score.
So, in a self sacrificing way , I will put my willy (aka the beast) up for the duration of Englands stay in the World CUP>
I hope my sacrifice is duly noted.
Paul

Duly noted Paul.... Our first lucky willy is in :bounce:
One slight flaw with yer mascot tho confused

You say that when England score, you do too? Which means that if you and England score in the first minute - your lucky willy is gonna be out of action for the rest of the first half, or at least until you can rekindle it's luck! :undecided:
So your lucky willy will only contribute proper luck a few minutes of the whole match!!! Doesn't really give England many scoring opportunities does it eh? confused

But one step down is a great solution offered by Voddy :bounce:

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
you mean your going to hoist a flag off it

What a cool idea - also gives the lucky willy an active job to do while recovering from the goal! :lol2:
Paul, how about it eh? Failing that, if you feel a bit self conscious, you can still get in the spirit of things and attach one of them football clacky things to yer willy?...

:
Right... Is that contraption a 'knacker clacker'.
It's a task I feel suited to.. I will attempt this and report back.
Please note, my next post might e from hospital
Paul

24 Jun 2006

Quote by Fun365
:
Duly noted Paul.... Our first lucky willy is in :bounce:

Isn't that a contradiction in terms?? Any willy that's in, is lucky innit??

24 Jun 2006

Do you think conjunctivitus will be lucky ??????? think all this non washing has got to me. I am now the proud owner of 'pink eye' (having looked it up on the web) God is hurts so I hope they darn well win tomorrow. Feel like I should have a patch over one eye, plaster over my swelliing spot and gask mask for the fumes coming off me !!!!!
Missy redface

its too late to be lady like with Martell. I should have taken advice from you weeks ago. I think I have been bottling up all of my flatulance and bad odours for years :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: and its all well just come out - maybe he has taken this as mating signals and I always smile and look deeply into his eys as I let rip .......................... yes thats it ................... the plan .................... I will sell this idea as a mating ritual until after the world cup !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24 Jun 2006

Paul, how about it eh? Failing that, if you feel a bit self conscious, you can still get in the spirit of things and attach one of them football clacky things to yer willy?...

:
Right... Is that contraption a 'knacker clacker'.
It's a task I feel suited to.. I will attempt this and report back.
Please note, my next post might e from hospital
Paul
Have done it....
Did not have a clacker , so decided that would have to make one. Retired to the workshop. Sadly, did not have any wood , so had to make a metal clacker out of some old paint tins. Well, I must say that I made a superb job and had a clacker to die for...
Back into the living room. Clacker attached by string and some elastic to me wily. A bit of stimulation and it's ready to go!
Move the hips , as Missy suggested , and we are off to the races ... Clack , clack , clack. etc
Unfortuneately , the clack , clack , clack attracted the attention of Katie... She comes in and says " WTF are you f**king well up to now"
"i'm supporting England!"
In an effort to impress I over did the hip movement.... The clacker released itself from me willy and traversed the length of the room ... and lunched my LCD/HD/PLASMA 57" TV.
So, thanks a lot Missy!!! you have cost me 10k for a new TV
Regards
Paul

24 Jun 2006

Quote by Fun365
Back into the living room. Clacker attached by string and some elastic to me wily. A bit of stimulation and it's ready to go!
Move the hips , as Missy suggested , and we are off to the races ... Clack , clack , clack. etc
Unfortuneately , the clack , clack , clack attracted the attention of Katie... She comes in and says " WTF are you f**king well up to now"
"i'm supporting England!"
In an effort to impress I over did the hip movement.... The clacker released itself from me willy and traversed the length of the room ... and lunched my LCD/HD/PLASMA 57" TV.

Do not try this at home children!

24 Jun 2006

Well i was going to mention sweden :shock: lucky there, but i'm pleased all the same that your spot has cleared up, or at least reduced in size to warrant a draw! :shock:
Geez we were lucky!

25 Jun 2006

Quote by niceandgentle
Now I know I'm going nuts.
I was getting showered this morning and got to thinking about Missys lucky spot and had a feel of my bum to see if I'd got one and did find something but its kind of to my right side,just a fraction away from my buttock.
Does it count as a lucky spot,will it just get under the wire of Missys strict guidelines?

You've got a lucky football spot and you've showered it?? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Are you competely stark raving mad!! Yes you are going nuts!!!! You coulda showered that lucky spot right off!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
You know what, I bet that spot started off right by yer bum crack - you've just unintentionally jet washed it round to the side!! :shock:
Think yourself lucky no damage was done ........ and get that spot primed up and face painted ready for the match!! cool

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Nobody's ever bothered about my bumcrack on the forum before Missy redface

You certainly know the way to a mans heart.
As is my "sidewinder" spotty has grown so big I think I'll be able pass myself off as a couple so I'm going to try to get in at a club on a couples only me luck! :shock:
I don't want to come over as a Victor Meldrew type but I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Spotty and I passed as a couple and got into the couples night in the club.
Nobody showed any interest in me,but Spotty got invited to join in all the hot swinging action!
Like I said I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
So to slightly amend the title of another recent Cafe thread:
How come everyone wants to fcuk my spot and not me?...!!!! rolleyes