Step kids..they're ok, but I can't eat a whole 1..2 or 3!

19 Jun 2005

..would welcome some feedback from members with step-binlidz!...I've been living with my g/f for the past few months and get on ok with her kids...we are due to go abroad on hols with all of hers and all of mine...whilst this should be a nice prospect, I know at least 2 of the factions will be at war with each other within a day. I know I can deal with mine (boot & backside spring to mind!), but obviously have some worries about bawling out hers!
So the question is...Does anyone have any grown up tips for dealing with other folks (teenage) kids?? :jagsatwork:
lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:

19 Jun 2005

Not really a tip, I do have 2 step kids that come to our house every week and if they aren't being good then I tell them off as I do my own. They are part of my responsilbilty when they are in our home, so I treat them the same as my 2. Be cause Iain has total confidence in the way I treat our 2, he has no problem with me treating his 2 the way I do, which is the same.
Red
xx

19 Jun 2005

Mmmmmmmm, tricky - Talk to GF and see how far she expects you to go with disciplining her children. I have 2 (all grown up now), but at the time it was hard biting my lip. Luckily their Dad jumped in before I could say anything!!!
Mind you stepdaughter has got her own back and is expecting her first baby in early July and just loves to tell me that I am going to be a Grannie at 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

19 Jun 2005

Quote by red_931
Not really a tip, I do have 2 step kids that come to our house every week and if they aren't being good then I tell them off as I do my own. They are part of my responsilbilty when they are in our home, so I treat them the same as my 2. Be cause Iain has total confidence in the way I treat our 2, he has no problem with me treating his 2 the way I do, which is the same.
Red
xx

..thanks Red, I go along with what your comments about when they're are in your worries me is that on holiday it's neutral territory and boundaries are a bit more blurred. What Im scared of doing is to be seen to be treating mine harshly, whereas I want to treat them all the same!!

19 Jun 2005

Quote by polly40
Mmmmmmmm, tricky - Talk to GF and see how far she expects you to go with disciplining her children. I have 2 (all grown up now), but at the time it was hard biting my lip. Luckily their Dad jumped in before I could say anything!!!
Mind you stepdaughter has got her own back and is expecting her first baby in early July and just loves to tell me that I am going to be a Grannie at 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

..thanks Polly, and good luck with your impending step-grandchild biggrin

19 Jun 2005

Quote by alspals
Not really a tip, I do have 2 step kids that come to our house every week and if they aren't being good then I tell them off as I do my own. They are part of my responsilbilty when they are in our home, so I treat them the same as my 2. Be cause Iain has total confidence in the way I treat our 2, he has no problem with me treating his 2 the way I do, which is the same.
Red
xx

..thanks Red, I go along with what your comments about when they're are in your worries me is that on holiday it's neutral territory and boundaries are a bit more blurred. What Im scared of doing is to be seen to be treating mine harshly, whereas I want to treat them all the same!!
Talking with your g/f would be a good idea so you both know where you stand. But I still say it is only fair they are all treated in the same way.
Red

19 Jun 2005

If you are living with someone and their kids and u are taking on the roll of their father, in that i mean working and living together as one family, not trying to take over as their dad, then u treat them as you treat your own, if you are living with/working for and providing 4 them as a family then u treat them as a family, thats my opinion anyway lol

19 Jun 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
If you are living with someone and their kids and u are taking on the roll of their father, in that i mean working and living together as one family, not trying to take over as their dad, then u treat them as you treat your own, if you are living with/working for and providing 4 them as a family then u treat them as a family, thats my opinion anyway lol

...and I agree with your opinion NN..just hope the kids see it that way too smile

19 Jun 2005

I agree in principle that they all should be treated equally, however it doesn't always work that easily. You have to be careful the stepkids don't resent you for trying to take over the father role when they perhaps already have one and if you treat your kids differently they will resent this and then you will have trouble on your hands!
Personally I would talk to their mother and ask her to try and discipline her own children for the more serious problems - at least until you get to know them a lot better and are settled into more of a family routine.
Good luck.
xx

19 Jun 2005

You should agree with your girlfriend beforehand on how you would handle situations like those, who would discipline the kids, would you discipline them all together, separately, just the one of you disciplining them all etc.
Being a stepkid I was always disciplined by my Dad instead of my stepmum, although if the family unit you have now are used to being a family then they might not resent it so much being told off by the step-parent.

19 Jun 2005

Quote by Ms Amber
I agree in principle that they all should be treated equally, however it doesn't always work that easily. You have to be careful the stepkids don't resent you for trying to take over the father role when they perhaps already have one and if you treat your kids differently they will resent this and then you will have trouble on your hands!
Personally I would talk to their mother and ask her to try and discipline her own children for the more serious problems - at least until you get to know them a lot better and are settled into more of a family routine.
Good luck.
xx

..thanks for that Ms Amber...me & their mom have different views about bringing kids up..so there could be probs there. They also have a fantastic relationship with their own Dad who they see every w/e..so I don't want to try and start competing with him...I've had swinging relationships that have been easier to manage lol!!