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stiffy
Quote by KitKatConvoy Cock we used to call it in the army. Not just any old stiffy but bloody great brain draining aching stiffies!
tell me why do i always get a massive stiffy when driving home from work:
:shock:
lhk
Kat
:shock: :shock:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Sex God
So ladies, next time you overtake a 4 tonner on the motorway, just think that back of it's full of loaded weapons. :shock: 
:lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: 
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh Dave you can laugh now ...... it's only a matter of time until Mrs Davej persuades you that the ideal holiday is a 2 week coach trip round Europe :twisted:
No. please,,,, please,,,, dont make me go on holiday with people that wear socks with their sandals and video buildings. :cry:
Quote by davej
Oh Dave you can laugh now ...... it's only a matter of time until Mrs Davej persuades you that the ideal holiday is a 2 week coach trip round Europe :twisted:
No. please,,,, please,,,, dont make me go on holiday with people that wear socks with their sandals and video buildings. :cry:
Oh, Mr Dave, I feel I must correct you on this matter: socks are relly VERY useful in sandals. They really do stop the straps from chafing the insteps, especially when on a long day out to somewhere like...Rhyl or Prestatyn. I really thing we shouldn't dissuade people .
Also, I agree with you about videoing buildings: MUCH better to take a reel of photos which can then be turned into slides to entertain the neighbours , when one returns, preferably with a little fondue event thrown in. Mrs M and I look forward to it every year. It's such a pity that our holiday always coincide with our neighbours' other pressing engagements.
Coach trips: once again you are absaloutely right (you are indeed a natural purveyor of wisdom; Miss Misschief herself declaims that you are a natural 'purve'). A coach trip to Europe leaves far too little time for buying souveniers and visiting model railways. We prefer a nice coach trip to Skegness or Lake Windemere. We have made such good friends: if only Mrs M would write down their phone numbers more accurately. Every year the ones we collect don't seem to be connected to anything. And it's so strange that all the surnames are Smith: makes looking them up in the phone directory so time consuming. But then again, it's something to do after 'Last of the Summer Wine' (I confess, we do love this programme-so 'avant garde' and risque. We are thinking of doing a coach trip to Holmfirth-now, Mr Dave, why don't you come too!)
But, to the point of this discussion: the old 'raised flagpole', as Mrs M puts it. I find that a cricket box, several sizes too small, is just the ticket. Indeed, Mrs M insists I wear one on all social occasions-just in case. She now insists I wear it in bedThe chafing eases eventually, and Johnson's Baby Powder, keeps the sweat level down. Only drawback is, that after being entombed for so long, when finally released 'Old Rodger' stands at a somewhat peculiar angle. It's made a real mess of our bedside lamps.
Anyway, don't forget about the coach trip, we've a lovely new travel rug you can share...
M
Sex God
Quote by Flipper
Re getting thrown out of the AM showroom , if I was the salesman and a prospect got a stiffy sitting in a £90K ticket car , I would regard it as closing signal !
Either that or a need to clean the upholstery in a few minutes. Can you imagine signing a cheque for 90K with a hard-on - I'd be very wary :!:
Sex God
Quote by westerross
Can you imagine signing a cheque for 90K with a hard-on
Nope but if we can it will scare the crap outa Bic !!!!
Sex God
Quote by montmorency
But, to the point of this discussion: the old 'raised flagpole', as Mrs M puts it. I find that a cricket box, several sizes too small, is just the ticket. Indeed, Mrs M insists I wear one on all social occasions-just in case. She now insists I wear it in bedThe chafing eases eventually, and Johnson's Baby Powder, keeps the sweat level down. Only drawback is, that after being entombed for so long, when finally released 'Old Rodger' stands at a somewhat peculiar angle. It's made a real mess of our bedside lamps.
This is an amazing coincidence, as mrs davej also makes me keep Peter in an appliance to prevent any possibility of a sudden rise whilst in company. Unfortunately we havn't the funds to purchase a ready made appliance and have had to make do with useing items that lay around the house.
Our first efforts were not successfull, as we found out whilst visiting a fine restuarant. We had made the mistake of useing an old musical jewellery box in place of a cricket box and all would have been fine if we had only rememberred to remove the batteries from the box. As usual I got a stirring whilst at the table with the result that as my Peter forced the lid open my crotch started playing 'Swan Lake' more embassingly a small plastic ballerina appeared from my fly did two twirls and returned from whence she came.
We have thrown this in the bin and have now hollowed out the back of an old Cuckoo clock to try next time.
Sex God
Quote by Kit
A word of advice:
Just make sure MrsDavej has both hands on each string should the occasion arise :twisted:
she better have or I am gonna make one hell of a din come midnight !
Quote by davej
But, to the point of this discussion: the old 'raised flagpole', as Mrs M puts it. I find that a cricket box, several sizes too small, is just the ticket. Indeed, Mrs M insists I wear one on all social occasions-just in case. She now insists I wear it in bedThe chafing eases eventually, and Johnson's Baby Powder, keeps the sweat level down. Only drawback is, that after being entombed for so long, when finally released 'Old Rodger' stands at a somewhat peculiar angle. It's made a real mess of our bedside lamps.
This is an amazing coincidence, as mrs davej also makes me keep Peter in an appliance to prevent any possibility of a sudden rise whilst in company. Unfortunately we havn't the funds to purchase a ready made appliance and have had to make do with useing items that lay around the house.
Our first efforts were not successfull, as we found out whilst visiting a fine restuarant. We had made the mistake of useing an old musical jewellery box in place of a cricket box and all would have been fine if we had only rememberred to remove the batteries from the box. As usual I got a stirring whilst at the table with the result that as my Peter forced the lid open my crotch started playing 'Swan Lake' more embassingly a small plastic ballerina appeared from my fly did two twirls and returned from whence she came.
We have thrown this in the bin and have now hollowed out the back of an old Cuckoo clock to try next time.
Davej;
You are a master... At 4:30 am you have got me laughing so hard.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Paul
Quote by KitKatConvoy Cock we used to call it in the army. Not just any old stiffy but bloody great brain draining aching stiffies!
tell me why do i always get a massive stiffy when driving home from work
:shock:
lhk
Kat
I left the army in '88 but still suffer (??) convoy cock. I get it more now than I ever used to. Don't know if that's 'cos I'm not getting enough or something to do with modern trucks being on air.
I daren't do anything with it though. I got pulled last week for drinking tea while going down M6. Could just imagine what would happen if plod pulled me while I was pulling my pud!!
