Strange conversations with kids.

16 Jan 2008

Yesterday I took one of my boys shopping with me on a fact finding mission. Why? Because believe or not. I had to show him what a faggot was! :shock:
It was reference to a Schoolyard conversation he had been having earlier in the day. I feel he has been enlightened, lol

....................Or have I confused

16 Jan 2008

It's weird how my mind works sometimes. When I read this the first thing I thought of was a bundle of fire wood, and I was wondering where the bluddy hell you went to show him one of them.
Then I suddenly remembered the 'Brains' variety. Mmmmm.... luverly! I think a trip to Asda's is on the cards ;-)

16 Jan 2008

You'd only have to look in my freezer for faggots. I always have Brains packet of two in on the off chance I fancy a faggot sarnie

16 Jan 2008

But if you're American a faggot is entirely a different thing, funny how they always get things wrong ffs they even think a fanny is something else lol

:lol:

16 Jan 2008

Quote by woohoo
they even think a fanny is something else :lol:

Nope im definately a fanny :smug: innocent

what

:laughabove:

16 Jan 2008

The thread title reminded me of a conversation in the car. David had joined me and my youngest on the school run. Must admit she does babble a bit in the mornings :crazy:
MiniMissy - David, what do you do for work?
David - I'm responsible for this, and I have to do that and it's very important etc
MiniMissy - Oh right ........... my dads got nothing in his fridge
David - :confused:
MiniMissy - I've got a school trip letter that I forgot to give you and had to hand in yesterday :D
MiniMissy - Is cousinMissy going to Grandmas on Saturday? :D
David - :confused: :confused: :confused:
He's not joined us on the school run since :uhoh:

16 Jan 2008

a conversation with dek and son lol

"son - derek stinks rolleyes

dek - shurrup son
son - i dont like you :!:
dek - ok what do you want fer tea
son - your my bestest friend"
go figure

16 Jan 2008

Mini lyns has just asked me what I want to be when I grow up confused

:? .
Mini lyns also told me that she loves me and her daddy sooooooo much and she loves the mini mini lyns and she doesn`t want mummy or daddy to get old and got to the "old house".... (nope I didn`t have a clue what she meant either) because "where will I live if you and daddy are in the old house!!
Missy my little one babbles and babbles on the school run to..

16 Jan 2008

Going back a little while, my niece, then aged 5, was sitting in the middle of the sitting room floor watching MTV.
Micheal Jackson's 'Billy Jean' came on,
she watched it,
it finished,
she turned round to us and said,
'You know, I prefered Micheal Jackson when he was black'
H.x

16 Jan 2008

Driving to get Morbius from work when my two were small (DD=Daughter was about 4, DS =son was about 6 months).
DD: What's that mummy?
ME: It's a power station.
DD: What's it do? (at this point DS threw a major tantrum for no reason, so i'm answering questions, driving down country lane, and trying to locate the dummy that's been propelled somewhere).
Me: It makes electricity.
DD: and how does it do that? (me totally flustered)
Me: well it's complicated.
DD: do you know?
Me: Yes, but I'm trying to drive, sort DS and answer you. Why don't you ask daddy later?
DD: Are you sure you know?
Me: Yes sweetie, it's just complicated.
DD: It's okay mummy, we can't all be clever!
At that point I gave up!

16 Jan 2008

My nephew asked me why hambugers from mc donalds have no ham in them, could'nt answer that one!.

16 Jan 2008

A few nights ago my 9 year old had me peeing myself laughing.
She hobbled up to me on a makeshift crutch with her foot wrapped in toilet paper.
me (slightly irritable as per): "What are you up to now?"
OnlyChild: "I've hurt myself"
me: "What have you done?"
OC: "I've got a soft tissue injury!"
I've no idea where she got this from but I was rofl!

16 Jan 2008

Yesterday, having not properly put t he shopping away when 8year old daughter bounded in from school.....I was off on a tangent as weird things were happening with the power supply.
I hear a voice cry "Muuuuuuum," and instantly realised what I'd left on the kitchen worktop
"What are these bottles, the greeny one & the red one?"
Me: "Oh, just special conditioner for my hair darling"
.....as I nonchalantly whisk them away. redface

16 Jan 2008

Well??!! what were they then dunno

16 Jan 2008

Quote by firelizard
Well??!! what were they then

One for her embarrassing feminine itching and the other was pile cream lol

16 Jan 2008

on a camping trip with a few people off here me little one was taking the mick outa trays (from alntray) burning of a burger later on the night
tray was cooking
little northy "cook me a burger tray
tray" no ya didnt like the last 1"
little northy" gisa a bun then "
tray" no ya cant have a bun without a burger"
little northy" well gisa a bun n a burger ,,,n ill throw the burger away" rolleyes

:lol:

16 Jan 2008

Quote by Marya_Northeast
A few nights ago my 9 year old had me peeing myself laughing.
She hobbled up to me on a makeshift crutch with her foot wrapped in toilet paper.
me (slightly irritable as per): "What are you up to now?"
OnlyChild: "I've hurt myself"
me: "What have you done?"
OC: "I've got a soft tissue injury!"
I've no idea where she got this from but I was rofl!

Ain't kids great! Me and Mrs C >>

:rotflmao:

16 Jan 2008

Quote by cu3b4ll
A few nights ago my 9 year old had me peeing myself laughing.
She hobbled up to me on a makeshift crutch with her foot wrapped in toilet paper.
me (slightly irritable as per): "What are you up to now?"
OnlyChild: "I've hurt myself"
me: "What have you done?"
OC: "I've got a soft tissue injury!"
I've no idea where she got this from but I was rofl!

Ain't kids great! Me and Mrs C >>

:rotflmao:
Brilliant. Get her an agent quick, Marya, she'll be writing comedy scripts soon. lol

17 Jan 2008

I says to children: why is the toilet filled filled to the brim with stones?? Children, were doing a scientific experiment rolleyes

~~~~~~~~~~
Children say to Me: We cant make the pop corn pop.... we've tried cooking it in a pan and we put it in the microwave and it still wont pop. Me: A tin of sweetcorn isnt popcorn!! :roll:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me when I come in from gardening: Whats thats awful smell?
Children: its the conkers
Me: What have you done with the conkers?
Children: we cooked them in the microwave
Me: Why? :roll:
Children: Cos were selling them for a £1 each at school and this makes them really hard to crack..
Anyone want to a boy an girl?? Cheap!

17 Jan 2008

#3 son ..... "Dad, Max (the dog) has started drinking out of the toilet"
Me .... "oh ffs what's wrong with his bowl" rolleyes

#3 son .... "dunno, but he's also learned to flush"
me .... "what" :shock:
#3 son .... "yeah, its so he can have still or sparkling" :rascal:
smackbottom

everyone else in the room thought it was rotflmao

as usual at my expense :roll:
kids, don't you just love em .................

17 Jan 2008

Quote by Pete_sw
#3 son ..... "Dad, Max (the dog) has started drinking out of the toilet"
Me .... "oh ffs what's wrong with his bowl"
#3 son .... "dunno, but he's also learned to flush"
me .... "what" :shock:
#3 son .... "yeah, its so he can have still or sparkling" :rascal:

everyone else in the room thought it was as usual at my expense :roll:
kids, don't you just love em .................

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

17 Jan 2008

My little one ( age 7 at the time) said "mom wots a whore?"
Thankfully instead of a long involved answer I asked "why do you want to know ?Where did u hear it"
"Just now mom, u said that lady has eyes like a whore"
"NO sweetheart i said like a HAWK "
PMSL that cudda been bad!

17 Jan 2008

Sammy, aged 5, was telling me about the Titanic.
"It was really really sad. It hit an ice cube, and everybody died."

17 Jan 2008

A few years back My boys were at school when they had a visit by the local constabulary. On telling me this, in a typical home from school rush kind of way, the one lad said we had a visit from a Policeman who was a Constipate! biggrin

Do you find these precious moments from kids can take a lot of day to day stress away. I do. :smile:

17 Jan 2008

master splendid.. on seeing me in the shower(aged 6- well, he was 6 I was a bit older :shock: )
him - muuuuum what are you doing?
me- I am shaving my legs
him- what do you do that for my dad doesn't?
me- because people tend to think that women shouldn't have body hair.
him- men have hair all over.
me- yes, women do too but they tend to get rid of it by either shaving it, waxing, plucking or other things. The difference is that women don't tend to talk about it as it is private.
him- oh right.
next day whilst dropping him off at the (male) childminder and just as the childminder opens the door
him - mum you know you said about women getting rid of their hair.
me- yes darling?
him - how come you keep your moustache?
me - redface

(at this point I decided that bleaching should be added to my myriad of hair 'treatments rolleyes

)

17 Jan 2008

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Well??!! what were they then

One for her embarrassing feminine itching and the other was pile cream lol

Feck off!

Go & look in the "Lube" or the "Inhibitions" threads redface