STUPID INSTRUCTIONS (borrowed from t'internet)
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid a WHOLE lot of money to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a little kids belief.)
Anyone got any more?
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Stupid instructions
lol
Particularly enjoyed the Christmas lights one... I would not know where to put them!
I can't recall any of these off the top of my head, but I can remember being in a supermarket and seeing a multi-bag of crisps called "Bob's Cheesy Tool Box" with the smiling face of Bob the Builder on the front...
Sometimes marketing people are paid just a little too much don't you think?
I love the silly answers to Family Fortunes , Weakest Link and the Car Insurance claim quotations... I read through them every now and then to keep myself sane and realise there are people worse off...
Particularly enjoyed the Christmas lights one... I would not know where to put them!
I can't recall any of these off the top of my head, but I can remember being in a supermarket and seeing a multi-bag of crisps called "Bob's Cheesy Tool Box" with the smiling face of Bob the Builder on the front...
Sometimes marketing people are paid just a little too much don't you think?
I love the silly answers to Family Fortunes , Weakest Link and the Car Insurance claim quotations... I read through them every now and then to keep myself sane and realise there are people worse off...
Sex God
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
You missed off the "or genitals." bit!? :shock: :eeek: :scared: Maybe the genitals bit is an urban myth, but presumably swedish manufacturers are under the impression that stopping chainsaws with other body parts is all fine and dandy?
N x x x ;)
