surprised

23 Nov 2009

I must just say I am very surprised by how judgmental many of the people here are.
I thought that due to the fact that what we do here and in our lives is judged by many in this world as wrong, I imagined we might be more tolerant of others faults.
The opposite seams to be the case, why do you think that is? Or am I wrong?

23 Nov 2009

i do. im going to hell but they will have to drag me there
one day i'll pay for my sins but they will have one hell of a fight to take me!

23 Nov 2009

Some people give the impression of being judgemental simply for effect I believe....

23 Nov 2009

as i said on a previous post we are only human and it is human nature to make judgements
can you honestly tell me you never ever make a snap judgement on someone on a first meeting? that judgement may be proved wrong on getting to know the person but you still made an initial judgement
i know i have judgements made about me every day and i'm sure you are making a judgement about me whilst reading what i have written
if you think about it you have made a judgement on others by judging them judgemental or maybe you would disagree
blimey i'd love to be as perfect as you naver making any judgements wink

23 Nov 2009

This was aimed at any one person in particular. I have just been a little surprised by how easily we condemn others, I wonder if we would all say the same things if we were all face to face in the same room or would choose our words more carefully?
Now I am judging others, what does this place do to you? I am getting out while I still can lol

23 Nov 2009

Quote by Bluefish2009
This was aimed at any one person in particular. I have just been a little surprised by how easily we condemn others, I wonder if we would all say the same things if we were all face to face in the same room or would choose our words more carefully?
Now I am judging others, what does this place do to you? I am getting out while I still can

see my point exactly you can't help but judge we do it without even meaning to it doesn't make us bad people just human
it only becomes bad when we get nasty and personal with it
if you read wat i write and think nah she isn't my cuppa i would rather not get to know her better then thats cool but if you read it and then get nasty calling me a fat ugly idiot for my opinions then thats not cool
i think i would choose my words more carefully if face to face in the same room as someone but only as i don't like to be intentionally cruel to anyone but i would still put my opinion across even if worded a little more carefully than i would here
i think that sometimes peeps forget this is a forum that is for discussion on how we feel about things or people, to do it without looking judgemental would make for a very boring forum with hardly anyone cotributing which to be honest i feel it is getting that way as many have dropped off posting for fear of being judged a bad person for posting what essentially they are really being invited to post

23 Nov 2009

Perhaps some peple are guilty of forgetting that this is a "swinging site" ?
Only a minority of members post on these forums and some of those are self proclaimed non swingers. perhaps some people take this all a bit too seriously?
It is a swinging site after all - it is called swinging heaven.
Just get what you want out of it and if you don't like someone, or their attitude just do what you would do in the real world and ignore them. Problem is the anonymity of the intenet enables those with suspect personalities and character disorders to spout off in a way that they never would in real life - that should be all the warning you need to ignore them.
Best wishes, Seasonal greetings and all that.
Make love not war, kiss a fattie, hug a stick insect and remember it should all be a bit of fun for you and your other half

23 Nov 2009

I think when people introduce this debate its because they see people arriving at a judgement by thoughts and ideas which may seem very unfair or incorrect. I think most people agree with this.
But making a judgement is not much different from making a decision which you are prepared to make. Its just a question of the type of decision being made and whether or not you feel responsible in making it.

23 Nov 2009

There is a very famous saying used no doubt millions of times, and it goes like this...
" first impressions count ".
I think everyone can meet someone or see someone on the telly, and think...what a twat, I don't like them.
You could end up being completely wrong about that person in the begining.
I just really cannot believe that people never ever judge someone on those " first impressions ".
If someone does then they are no doubt priests. lol

23 Nov 2009

As the token Odinist I am hoping to make Valhalla, knowing my luck I'll probably just die in my sleep, lol.
The problem with being judgemental is that you open yourself up to be judged yourself. You could look at a person and think they are attractive, then find out later they are ugly on the inside. Sex is fun but love is more spiritual, I believe that if you can get your head around that then swinging is definitely worth a try, if not then perhaps you are looking in the wrong place for whatever it is you really want. If you want to avoid heartache, not just here but in life, just be yourself.

23 Nov 2009

Quote by BrightonGeezer
As the token Onanist I am hoping to make Valhalla, knowing my luck I'll probably just die in my sleep, lol.
The problem with being judgemental is that you open yourself up to be judged yourself. You could look at a person and think they are attractive, then find out later they are ugly on the inside. Sex is fun but love is more spiritual, I believe that if you can get your head around that then swinging is definitely worth a try, if not then perhaps you are looking in the wrong place for whatever it is you really want. If you want to avoid heartache, not just here but in life, just be yourself.

Oh, I really don't think you're the only one wink

23 Nov 2009

Quote by Bluefish2009
I must just say I am very surprised by how judgmental many of the people here are.
I thought that due to the fact that what we do here and in our lives is judged by many in this world as wrong, I imagined we might be more tolerant of others faults.
The opposite seams to be the case, why do you think that is? Or am I wrong?

I made the same assumption. You are quite right in your summary. People who swing are no different in their outlook on life from non -swingers in my limited experience. I choose to play with people I like and I tend to like people who live and let live.

23 Nov 2009

Quote by bouncy332
This was aimed at any one person in particular. I have just been a little surprised by how easily we condemn others, I wonder if we would all say the same things if we were all face to face in the same room or would choose our words more carefully?
Now I am judging others, what does this place do to you? I am getting out while I still can

see my point exactly you can't help but judge we do it without even meaning to it doesn't make us bad people just human
it only becomes bad when we get nasty and personal with it
if you read wat i write and think nah she isn't my cuppa i would rather not get to know her better then thats cool but if you read it and then get nasty calling me a fat ugly idiot for my opinions then thats not cool
i think i would choose my words more carefully if face to face in the same room as someone but only as i don't like to be intentionally cruel to anyone but i would still put my opinion across even if worded a little more carefully than i would here
i think that sometimes peeps forget this is a forum that is for discussion on how we feel about things or people, to do it without looking judgemental would make for a very boring forum with hardly anyone cotributing which to be honest i feel it is getting that way as many have dropped off posting for fear of being judged a bad person for posting what essentially they are really being invited to post
Point taken

23 Nov 2009

Quote by Witchy
As the token Onanist I am hoping to make Valhalla, knowing my luck I'll probably just die in my sleep, lol.
The problem with being judgemental is that you open yourself up to be judged yourself. You could look at a person and think they are attractive, then find out later they are ugly on the inside. Sex is fun but love is more spiritual, I believe that if you can get your head around that then swinging is definitely worth a try, if not then perhaps you are looking in the wrong place for whatever it is you really want. If you want to avoid heartache, not just here but in life, just be yourself.

Oh, I really don't think you're the only one wink

I said Odinist, an ancient Nordic religion, not Onanist, something to do with pulling out quick! lol

23 Nov 2009

Well, would you look at what the Pixies did innocent

23 Nov 2009

Quote by Witchy
Well, would you look at what the Pixies did

Bless yer little cotton socks! biggrin

23 Nov 2009

I'm not judgemental I'm the moral and ethical yardstick by which my world is measured

24 Nov 2009

Quote by Staggerlee_BB
I'm not judgemental I'm the moral and ethical yardstick by which my world is measured

Which should be true for all of us, surely? If we use someone else as the moral yardstick aren't we abdicating our responsibilites as adults to make our own decisions?
We may fail against any measure - but to fail against someone else's measure is meaningless (unless it's an A level in Maths of course - but you know what I mean). If we are in doubt of what the measure should be (lacking experience of a particular situation) or find that the measure we are using is no longer appropriate - we can change it. We can even refer to others to work out what it should be - but we must take responsibility, not just for our actions, but for the fact we consider such actions acceptable.