"I dreamt there was a massive spider crawling all over me all night"
"Ah yes that would be my cat, sorry about that"
"Mum."
"What?"
"Where are my glasses?"
"Where did you leave them last?"
"I don't know."
"Well how am I supposed to know where they are?"
"Cos you've got your glasses on! I've not got mine on and I can't find them until I do."
I didn't know whether to be impressed or confused. He's six.
And then there was the near diplomatic incident on Sarfend pier. Bear with me, this needs background...
A couple of summers ago, and I'm on a ship doing a bit of it's UK tour. It's crew night out, we split into two groups- one lot go for an Indian, I join the Chinese group. We had some youngsters with us. The skipper asked the waiter jovially if he "had a nappy" for one of the young lads, who was very wet behind the ears. Waiter misheard, and said "Oh yes, I very happy!"
Now, Skipper being Skipper & being half cut thought this was funnier than the Res & Boney show. The rest of the evening was spent listening to his saying "happy happy happy" in a Chinese accent.
A couple of days later, we arrived in Sarfend, and moored up the end of the mile and half pier. Two or three days into our stay, a few of us went into town to the pub. Several drinks later, at around midnight, we headed back to catch our specially laid on tram back down the pier.
Onto our packed,tiny carriage full of drunken sailors singing a song about Lobsters, an unsuspecting Chinese fisherman stepped. Skipper recalled the previous incident, and the "Happy happy" thing started up again. The poor young guy looked terribly embarrassed- and I was exchanging mortified looks with a young female deckie.
We got off the train at the end of the pier, and I stayed behind to make a phone call. As I finished my call, I saw the fisherman, and mustered up all my courage to go & speak to him- not knowing what kind of reception to expect.
Cringing- literally- with embarrassment, I approached him. I launched into a huge, groveling apology to try to put what had happened into context for the guy, and explain that it hadn't been meant in a racist manner.
He replied "sorry?"
So I did it all over again. But this time, I was redder, and even more groveling. I waffled on for what seemed like a lifetime.
He looked at me and said
"I sorry, I deaf"
You should have heard the fucking language...
:doh:A
me.."mum, it's me"
"hi xxx"
"hi, I called to ask you if you remember the name of that writer, the one that..."
"that was yyy"
"oh, thanks"
how the f... did she know what writer I was about to give her whatever details I had, since I didn't get to give her any?
no, we hadn't mentioned the writer in question in at least a couple of years
:shock: 
:crazy: :grin: 
spookily this happened about an hour ago...
that was a glass of wine meeting monitor moment :rotflmao:
My best friend and I can have conversations like that, and other people around us just look on completely bemused. We can sometimes have a whole conversation without actually giving any information because the other will jump in and say "oh yeah! And then..." 