I don’t think you should look at this any differently, yes falling for a fellow swinger overcomes swinging in a vanilla relationship but in the end people get to get together because they fancy each other, they have things in common, as well as differences, the feelings grow, you have common goals and can start to see a future with that person and start to fall in love.
As HLB said, people getting possessive and this is a common scenario but in reality, it comes down to 2 people wanting different things and as I said this is no different in any relationship, wherever you meet.
Some people want to be single, some swing as swinging partners only, some people keep this completely separate, some are friends and some people are full on girlfriend and boyfriend and meet the parents, watch corrie and go to tesco together. This happens because of what you want in any situation and what that other person wants.
I think the important thing is carry on with what you are doing and if you like someone you will have common ground to see more of each other, probably at munches and just talk about everyday life and things will just crop up. If they want to keep swinging separate they will only see you at munches, probably not give out their phone no’ and probably not do breakfast the morning after, but if they want to be friends you will start to ‘ hang out’’ and you will then get a vibe back from things they say. Also, as they say, you don’t get if you don’t ask, so if that person you like is going for lunch after a munch, take a risk and go along yourself and if you think minds are meeting, don’t be scared to ask if they fancy just you 2 doing something.
Chris x
Well I've just read through all the posts on here and I'm surprised no-one's mentioned Heaven Dating.
The idea of it is good, but I do think they need to ban couples from it to make it more what it was set up for. Seems a lot of people just use it as an extra bit of regular sh to trawl for a shag.
Now I've not got anything against just looking for a good shag, it's why i've put ads on here myself, but I think Heaven dating should be kept to just that, people actually looking for a long term relationship.
1 – Define your goals – do you want to find a partner, do you want to swing as a single or do you want to do both until the right partner comes along?
Working on the principal that it is both…
2 – Prioritise your goals – which do you want the most? What ever you want the most is where you should place the majority of your efforts and adverts!
3 – Be clear with each new encounter what the aim of the encounter is – which goal are you aiming to fulfil and does the other person involved know which one it is.
4 – Be honest with yourself about what you want and why you are doing something, be honest with others about what you want and why you are doing it with them.
It may be an idea to use more than one swinging website – one for nsa/swinging and one for partner seeking. This will give you more clearly defined parameters to keep the two activities separate and help you (and the other person involved) not become confused as to what you are doing and why.
Meeting people for nsa/swinging whilst secretly hoping they are the one, will more likely lead to heartache than happiness. It is also pretty damn selfish (IMO) if some straight forward, upfront person ends up having to listen to someone sobbing down the phone for doing nothing more than what they openly set out and agreed to do.
If you intend to actively seek a partner, be open about it, ask to meet for a date and only for a date. Take your time and keep your knickers on for longer – this will reduce the number of failures (or at least the feelings associated with shagging in hope of more and getting.. well.. erm... fucked basically) in other words.. help eliminate some of the bullshiters who will say anything to get a leg-over.
I think you were reading it from a different perspective and missed the whole point to my post me thinks!
I was trying to emphasis she was probably looking to hard and focusing on 'dates' rather than just meeting new peeps, which a munch is a great way, but then also understanding diff peeps want diff things from 'swinging'. You get to know this by chatting, things they say and how they behave i.e. phone no's, breakfast and doing things as any other friend would do, thus she would straightaway eliminate those who just want to fuck rather than might be interested in finding someone and possible might want a relationship, which I beleive was her point!
Chris x
But what about those of us who don't fall into either category? Don't want the 'vanilla' (not liking that word) date, live happily ever after - thing. But also don't want the completely unemotional, sleep with a different person every week - thing.
H.x
I believe quite a few people have stated over various threads, at various times, that they have made *good friends* along the way too havent they?
is this possible for all... or just the lucky few?
lp
Isn't burying yourself a bit extreme?!!:lol2:
