Swing Date

24 Apr 2007

Now this post could come up with something interesting, but then again it might not!
As a single fem on the swinger scene i find it difficult to date people. Reasons for this is simply that on the scene alot of social and play isnt attached with emotion. They always say looking for more then 'fun' is a dangerous on this scene and i for one have had avoided single fems, couples and males if they show an amount of emotional attachment.
Yet i know i dont want to be single for the rest of my life, so i have tried the vanilla dating thing, and failed miserbly. I met some nice people but it difficult explaining to them that i was a swinger as the lifestyles from vanilla to swinger are so different and we all have different perceptions or sterotypes of each other.
So surely trying to find another single swinger would be the answer. But where would you find them in a situation where you can get to know each other with the possiblity of dating?
I'm perhaps not explaining this well but i've been thinking about it all morning. Whats you opinon?

24 Apr 2007

Have you tried the AD section on here? dunno

24 Apr 2007

I know somebody else with this dilema. Intersted to see any answers because I couldn't think of any.

24 Apr 2007

dont really have an answer as i simply met someone and clicked straight away
others have put up a thread in lmu, at least that may show people who would be interested in more
its a tricky one honey as i dont think i could go back to vanilla dating
Earthy xx

24 Apr 2007

OK I think I'm in a good position to answer this, but bear with me - it might get a bit long lol

When I first joined the site as a single fem, I'd got a bit fed up with telling vanilla guys I wanted NSA and them intepreting that as "ah she's been hurt in the past. Give her time".
I had a couple of people get really possessive after I'd been quite clear about how I felt and it pissed me off.
I found this place for a few reasons:
I'd had a few threesomes and wanted to explore that more
I wanted to meet people with NSA
I travelled around a lot with work and thought it would be a good way to liven up some of my nights away in hotels :rascal:
The last thing I wanted was a relationship and I made that incredibly clear to everyone I met.
And then I met Dambuster
We had an initial meet in a pub, some lengthy conversations and found we had a very similar sense of humour.
We began spending quite a few evenings together at his place and we started to develop serious feelings for each other.
Initial reaction was "what the hell am I doing" but I began to realise I actually enjoyed the vanilla element of our friendship as much as the sexual side.
When I thought about it, I realised it was certain aspects of relationships that I didn't like:
The possesiveness
The control
Having to hide parts of my personality - my bi side, my flirty nature
Now I was spending time with someone who actually liked that about me
Who gave a mischievous little smile & wink when I flirted/snogged other guys
Who I could play the "would you?" game with when we were out shopping
Who I could tell my deepest darkest desires to without worrying what they thought of me.
I'm now happier than I've ever been in my life. :inlove:
___________________________________________
Now after all that waffle:
I don't think if you go looking for it, you will necessarily find it, but.......
Maybe arranging meets that are social as well as sexual may open some doors e.g.
Meeting a guy for a nice meal and conversation before shagging as opposed to a dogging/club meet dunno

24 Apr 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
OK I think I'm in a good position to answer this, but bear with me - it might get a bit long
When I first joined the site as a single fem, I'd got a bit fed up with telling vanilla guys I wanted NSA and them intepreting that as "ah she's been hurt in the past. Give her time".
I had a couple of people get really possessive after I'd been quite clear about how I felt and it pissed me off.
I found this place for a few reasons:
I'd had a few threesomes and wanted to explore that more
I wanted to meet people with NSA
I travelled around a lot with work and thought it would be a good way to liven up some of my nights away in hotels :rascal:
The last thing I wanted was a relationship and I made that incredibly clear to everyone I met.
And then I met Dambuster
We had an initial meet in a pub, some lengthy conversations and found we had a very similar sense of humour.
We began spending quite a few evenings together at his place and we started to develop serious feelings for each other.
Initial reaction was "what the hell am I doing" but I began to realise I actually enjoyed the vanilla element of our friendship as much as the sexual side.
When I thought about it, I realised it was certain aspects of relationships that I didn't like:
The possesiveness
The control
Having to hide parts of my personality - my bi side, my flirty nature
Now I was spending time with someone who actually liked that about me
Who gave a mischievous little smile & wink when I flirted/snogged other guys
Who I could play the "would you?" game with when we were out shopping
Who I could tell my deepest darkest desires to without worrying what they thought of me.
I'm now happier than I've ever been in my life. :inlove:
___________________________________________
Now after all that waffle:
I don't think if you go looking for it, you will necessarily find it, but.......
Maybe arranging meets that are social as well as sexual may open some doors e.g.
Meeting a guy for a nice meal and conversation before shagging as opposed to a dogging/club meet

]
Lovely post HLB and i can totally relate to it....
Suze xx

24 Apr 2007

I'd like to get back into vanilla dating some day. Maybe that's what's missing in my life is someone else though I'm not sure I'd like this side of me, ie my bi side, stifled in any way. Personally I can't see a vanilla boyfriend accepting my bi side without him insisting on becoming involved and as that doesn't appeal to me ( ie 3somes/4somes/moresomes ) then I'll carry on toddling off in my own little way.
Not sure I made any sense there but that's just me lately confused

24 Apr 2007

Quote by Chaotic_Spirit
Now this post could come up with something interesting, but then again it might not!
As a single fem on the swinger scene i find it difficult to date people. Reasons for this is simply that on the scene alot of social and play isnt attached with emotion. They always say looking for more then 'fun' is a dangerous on this scene and i for one have had avoided single fems, couples and males if they show an amount of emotional attachment.
Yet i know i dont want to be single for the rest of my life, so i have tried the vanilla dating thing, and failed miserbly. I met some nice people but it difficult explaining to them that i was a swinger as the lifestyles from vanilla to swinger are so different and we all have different perceptions or sterotypes of each other.
So surely trying to find another single swinger would be the answer. But where would you find them in a situation where you can get to know each other with the possiblity of dating?
I'm perhaps not explaining this well but i've been thinking about it all morning. Whats you opinon?

From a single guys perspective, I can certainly relate to this.
As much as a number of single guys here would like to remain that, single, there will be a huge number that would want a relationship with a like minded woman. From my perspective, that would be the category that I would fall into.
I miss the companionship of having a partner. Like you, I have tried the vanilla world, but I don't seem to find the woman I am looking for that has the same outlook on life as I do.
That said, the chances of finding someone to have a relationship on here is remote, so remote in fact that it verges on unobtainable. Just my point of view I might add. Not that it doesn't happen of course, we all know that it does. Over the years SH has seen a few formed couples.
Maybe that's a reflection on the site itself. It's a swinging site after all, not a dating site, so the perception is that you are not here for any sort of emotional involvment.
I loved the post from HLB, it got me thinking. That would be my perfect scenario, but as I said, its rare for that to happen, but when it does, the result is amazing. HLB and Dammie are testament to that. I don't recall ever meeting a more happy couple. Makes me kinda jealous though!

24 Apr 2007

meet someone on here and have a relationship......settle down....marry.....can it be done.... swing....
staggy
lol
xx

24 Apr 2007

Quote by Manolishi
I loved the post from HLB, it got me thinking. That would be my perfect scenario, but as I said, its rare for that to happen, but when it does, the result is amazing. HLB and Dammie are testament to that. I don't recall ever meeting a more happy couple. Makes me kinda jealous though!

I will offer a few words of warning though.
When dammie and I first declared our feelings we were still a bit spooked by the idea of a relationship, but we both knew we loved each other.
And if you're all thinking "well 2 swingles get together and hey presto" it ain't quite that simple.
When we first got together, we'd both swung as singles and as couples with partners, but it's quite different doing it with someone you're in love with and I wondered what it was going to be like (as it turned out we were both fine with it)
There were other differences such as I preferred meets at houses, dammie at clubs.
Were we happy for one of us to play without the other or did we only want to play together? dunno

We both decided to initially take a break and get to know each other better and work out our boundary's before we started to play. And I think it works because we both put each other first and not swinging.
What I'm trying to say (in a very roundabout way) is all too often people think being part of a couple makes it easier to swing and therefore get together for the wrong reasons.
If you're going to have a full on relationship you need to be happy with your vanilla life together as well as your swinging one.
And that only works if you get together because you want to be with that particular person (as opposed to looking to get together with another swinger). I'm not saying the latter doesn't work at all, but just that there's a difference between 2 swingers forming a relationship and 2 people who enjoy each other's company and are swinging playmates

24 Apr 2007

This is from a purely objective perspective. Perhaps what you should be doing is what HLB inadvertantly did do.
Go with the flow. If you meet another swingle- don't go into it thinking "maybe" but also dont go into it thinking "never." Don't put up barriers to developing feelings, take them as they come & let nature take it's course. wink

24 Apr 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde

I loved the post from HLB, it got me thinking. That would be my perfect scenario, but as I said, its rare for that to happen, but when it does, the result is amazing. HLB and Dammie are testament to that. I don't recall ever meeting a more happy couple. Makes me kinda jealous though!

And that only works if you get together because you want to be with that particular person (as opposed to looking to get together with swinger).
worship

nail and head HLB
I cant really relate to the whole 'looking for someone' thing, its not on my radar ...but your post, and particularly the bit above needs a glass cover and a frame to mount it in wink

24 Apr 2007

I have a similar problem but from a slightly different angle. I'm not actively looking for a partner but I do look for someone with whom I can have a swinging relationship. I get approached by single guys who just want a 'meet', they're not interested in any social interaction at all, just sex. I know swinging is lots of things to lots of people, and each to their own, but many guys don't like that you want any more than that.
At the same time I find it hard to find 'dates' in the vanilla world who would allow the freedom that a swinging relationship would bring.
Tis a very tough question.
H.x

24 Apr 2007

You're not alone chaotic spirit, I won't be vanilla dating again after my swinging experiences and knowing my preferences. There is something missing in between a swinging site and a dating site, a place for swingers who wish to date other swingers. Maybe as lilacgem suggested, the ad section here could be used...

24 Apr 2007

i would find it hard to find dates in the vanilla world anyway, as i dont really have a vanilla life anymore, apart from one or two close friends and my family, everyone else i associate with is a swinger in one form or another
Earthy xx

24 Apr 2007

Quote by hornyinslough
Maybe as lilacgem suggested, the ad section here could be used...

Well I don't know about anyone else but it doesn't seem to matter what I put in an ad, I'm scared to because I get inundated with mail to wade through, most of which isn't relevant.
H.x

24 Apr 2007

Quote by H-x
Maybe as lilacgem suggested, the ad section here could be used...

Well I don't know about anyone else but it doesn't seem to matter what I put in an ad, I'm scared to because I get inundated with mail to wade through, most of which isn't relevant.
H.x
That's par for the course though H, you'll always get arses who don't read ads. Or I might mean can't read with a hard on lol

Thinking about this thread, I've just added a line to my profile to say I'm open to the idea. Not sure I'm ready for an ad though... confused

24 Apr 2007

I did once consider doing a "Blond Date" from here where we get the contestants.
A lovely lady asks the questions and 3 guys post their answers under masquerade logins then you make your choice and go out for a nice cyber date.
Maybe I should give it a try :giggle:

24 Apr 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I did once consider doing a "Blond Date" from here where we get the contestants.
A lovely lady asks the questions and 3 guys post their answers under masquerade logins then you make your choice and go out for a nice cyber date.
Maybe I should give it a try :giggle:

but i'm brunette :shock:

24 Apr 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I did once consider doing a "Blond Date" from here where we get the contestants.
A lovely lady asks the questions and 3 guys post their answers under masquerade logins then you make your choice and go out for a nice cyber date.
Maybe I should give it a try :giggle:

Sounds like a great idea! :lol2:

24 Apr 2007

Does that mean we all get to go on a date with Blonde?
:bounce:

24 Apr 2007

Quote by earthchild
I did once consider doing a "Blond Date" from here where we get the contestants.
A lovely lady asks the questions and 3 guys post their answers under masquerade logins then you make your choice and go out for a nice cyber date.
Maybe I should give it a try :giggle:

but i'm brunette :shock:
:doh:
I won't give up me day job lol

24 Apr 2007

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I did once consider doing a "Blond Date" from here where we get the contestants.
A lovely lady asks the questions and 3 guys post their answers under masquerade logins then you make your choice and go out for a nice cyber date.

:scared:
wash your mouth out with soap young lady smackbottom

actually, I think that'd be a crackin' idea redface

:giggle: - til its my turn to ask the questions and the thread goes dead rotflmao

24 Apr 2007

Quote by Darkfire
I did once consider doing a "Blond Date" from here where we get the contestants.
A lovely lady asks the questions and 3 guys post their answers under masquerade logins then you make your choice and go out for a nice cyber date.

:scared:
wash your mouth out with soap young lady smackbottom

actually, I think that'd be a crackin' idea redface

:giggle: - til its my turn to ask the questions and the thread goes dead rotflmao

"And here we have contestant No.2 a scary rottweiler from the Midlands" rotflmao

24 Apr 2007

I do, seriously, think you've got a blinder of a fun thread there HLB, and, for the sake of a bit of fun injection into the forum (and dinner/night out with someone), I'm game :thumbup:
I supose we'd have to kiss some serious arse in order to get Admin to agree to masquerade log-in's though rolleyes

:lol2:
ooo look, a hijack rotflmao

24 Apr 2007

Quote by Darkfire
I do, seriously, think you've got a blinder of a fun thread there HLB, and, for the sake of a bit of fun injection into the forum

I think its a cracker of an idea too! Could be great fun. I know you called it a "dating" game but do you need to be single to take part? If not, I'd be up for it biggrin

Fee
XX

24 Apr 2007

Quote by LadyFeeBee
I do, seriously, think you've got a blinder of a fun thread there HLB, and, for the sake of a bit of fun injection into the forum

I think its a cracker of an idea too! Could be great fun. I know you called it a "dating" game but do you need to be single to take part? If not, I'd be up for it biggrin

Fee
XX
me too .... I could bury Morbius under Feebee's non-existent patio ..... sorry hon ;)
Cx

24 Apr 2007

Quote by Calista
me too .... I could bury Morbius under Feebee's non-existent patio ..... sorry hon ;)
Cx

:giggle: Thats ok, Morbs will have company......Lairdy is already buried under there! lol

Fee
XX

24 Apr 2007

Well I have a few ideas for luxurious dates:
Dinner Al Fresco in Scotland on Feebees non patio
A show in The North East chatroom - but you'll need a webcam
:giggle:

24 Apr 2007

Quote by LadyFeeBee

me too .... I could bury Morbius under Feebee's non-existent patio ..... sorry hon ;)
Cx

:giggle: Thats ok, Morbs will have company......Lairdy is already buried under there! lol

Fee
XX
:giggle: anyway back to the game ....
listens intently
Cx

Are you sure?