Now I've been around a while and I know us single blokes are generally treated like something you found on your shoe but I was wondering what people thought of the following situation.
I had arranged to meet a couple ( who I've been talking with for some time ) with a single lady who I've met several times and was introducing to swinging. We met the couple at my place and had a great evening. As they left the couple and fem exchanged contact info.
Since then they have apparently been in contact with her trying to get her to meet without me which I have to say has put my nose out of joint a bit to say the least. Now I should say , I know she's single and I have no problem with her meeting other people and having as much fun as she likes. But I do have an issue with the couples behaviour. I kinda thought they might ask if I minded ( and I wouldn't ) it feels a bit underhand somehow.
You are being, as you put it, precious.
Perhaps should ask for a finders fee though? maybe you could become a pimp for swingers... is swinging heaven a pimp for swingers? instead of physical beatings, you recieve a monitary beating? hmmm
swinging heaven's pimp hand is strong
Its a fair question, and a difficult one to answer.
If you'd been married to the lady in question then the other couple would have been totally out of order to approach her "on the side". But if your in a casual relationship then I'd say it was less of a problem for them to approach her. BUT it still does have a bit of a bad taste that they could not contact you and say what they intended.
John & Shel
I can see how this situation would be unpleasant. Basically you feel a touch insulted that they have sidelined you in her favour. Perfectly human repsonse and not at all precious.
But they had no reason to consult you on their plans. You don't specify but I don't get the impression you are any more than friends with the single lady mentioned. In which case neither she nor they have done anything wrong. You mention that they could have asked if you 'minded'. Of course you wouldn't mind, but what if you did? Would you get to stop them? Would she have to ask you permission to play with them? Do you get a say in who she or they play with? Of course not.
Sorry I seem to have ranted there - but I wasn't really - just exploring the situation.
Summary - prefectly reasonable to feel snubbed, unreasonable to feel you have/had any say other people's activites.
As Blue said - that's life.
She's free to play with whoever she likes and I've told her that.
As for using her as "bait" that's hardly fair. She wanted something, they wanted something and I knew them both so I brought them together. It's not a question of wanting control in anyone's situation.
Like a few of you said I just feel a bit miffed is all n though it was a bit off. Mainly because if it was me I'd have asked because I wouldn't want anyones nose out of joint and I'm polite.
Yeah she told me. Just like she's telling me about the other people she's free to play with.
I can totally get what you're all saying. I kinda figured I was being a bit precious which was why I posted up the thread in the first place.
I guess expecting people to live up to my polite standards whilst also being thoroughly naughty might be expecting a tad much for them. I have had people surprised at just how "rude" a "nice guy" like me can get haha
I like Dirty Girls comment though I should say I tried that spoonful of cement and it went right to my cock ;-)
well i can see this from the other side
back in our early days a guy on here approached us to join him and a single girlfriend of his which we did and spent a very enjoyable afternoon with them and during our time with them found they were not a real couple he was a married guy and she was his swing buddy
at this point couples swinging was relatively new to us we started swinging to enjoy mmf and as much as we had enjoyed our time with them both i was particularly taken with the guys tongue skills he was the first guy we had played with that i had enjoyed as much as my husband so thought that i would rather like the opportunity to enjoy that tongue again also it had ended up being more of a soft swap afternoon and i really fancied fucking this guy which was something that played on my mind for a while after as i'm sure many would admit they have walked away from a meet thinking ohhh i would love to of ......
so a couple of days later when he popped up on my msn i just asked does he swing solo or is it purely a couples thing for them
now i do not see that i actually did anything wrong i was simply asking a question i am a firm believer that if you do not know something yet wish to ask!
he said he wasn't sure as it hadn't come up before, now this to me would be a no then as if he had to ask his swing buddy then they were obviously more than just swing buddys so i just said don't worry about it
he then asked his swing buddy how she would feel and to say she opened a can of whoop ass on him is an understatement she kicked his arse and had a right go at me too
now this i never quite got
you may think i was impolite to ask but how would i know their situation if i hadn't asked?
and why did she go so mad the guy was honest with her he didn't have to be he wasn't honest with his wife about her so u would of thought she would of at least appreciated that fact
don't know if this will help u see it from the other side or not but was worth a try
and anyone who knows us as swingers would tell you we are very respectfull of others relationships and swinging boundries so try not to judge the other couple so harshly
You are 2 singles meeting a couple, your not in a relationship, therefore we see nothing wrong with them contacting either of you as a single.
Had you been a couple, in a relationship we think that would be an unforgiveable thing to do.
That is the swinging scene singles are singles, couples are couples.
I guess a lot of this is about the status of fuck buddies, some get together to go to events, clubs or meets when it suits them, they to us are singles.
Some on the other hand do not have a relationship, but do get together for to swing and only swing together, they are still not a couple in the vanilla sense but we would respect thier status as a couple when in a swinging situation with them.
That said we do not meet people who are only fuck buddies preferring to meet couples who are in a loving relationship, how long they have been together is imaterial to us providing they are at that time committed to each other and in a relationship together.
We certainly won't meet anyone who is playing without thier partners consent be they male or female.
i would say that the couple could have been more considerate, by simply being up front about it. ie saying what they wanted to do, to you. the opportunity to do so was avoided. it makes all the difference in making people feel included.
its an unfortunate experience for you, which could have been handled so much better.
but that's the nature of such things. people who search for the sensual; are not always the most sensitive.
it can seem somewhat contradictory in dealing with some couples. i mean there is often a long drawn out protocol which is entered into, and at times quite formal and considerate; before a meeting is accepted. however once the shagging is accomplished, an economy of effort quickly sets in, and all that previous well mannered protocol seems to get swapped for more casual behaviours. unfortnately they seem to think this is familiarity and consideration, but it often isn't.
I'd say you're being a bit precious.
