My latest research shows that Swinging increases the risk of cancer by bloody loads (ok ‘bloody loads’ may not be a very scientific result – you were probably expecting a % or something – but that is my findings).
Some smart ass is probably going to come along now and start quoting statistics about sex and cervical cancer – well I would like to see how many people the scientists doing that research had sex with to get their results. Me, I have taken the hands on approach to get my findings.
Earlier this year I had a cancer scare – cancer of the vulva of all places. Now if there is one place you don’t want to get cancer as sexually depraved, single female swinger, it is on the bloody vulva! Fortunately, I must have been down on the shag count and got away with that one for now – though I am still on the at risk list.
More recently I have had greater success in my research and as some may know have been back and forth, in and out of hospital for the last month or so. Yep, this time I cracked it – bingo – someone call house! I have cancer of the colon (I knew I should have had more anal sex earlier on in my studies). Now you may be wondering how that relates to swinging? Well I thought it was obvious – I never had cancer before I started swinging! And that is about as sound a finding as most research that is reported nowadays.
Some people may at this point in their life start asking that bloody pointless question “why me?. Well the answer is so simple – “because you have clusters of abnormal rapidly reproducing cells (adenoma) in your large intestine which are now cancerous!â€
It is a bit of a fucker really – but if life was a breeze we would never appreciate the finer things.
Well – now you are probably stumped for something to say (I bet some of you were all poised to start a reply saying what bad taste this thread was – tough luck fuckers!)
I should make a few points clear:
If you reply, send me a PM or approach me with some fake excuse for sympathy, I will personally slap you so hard the hand print will last longer than a condom in the Popes wallet. I fucking hate seeing “give me sympathy†threads and the half-hearted, single line, fake replies they get. Good grief, if you need the likes of some of this lot (people passing through and here for all of 5 minutes/people you have never met and only know the persona they transmit in an artificial virtual community) and the bollocks they come out with to make you feel better – you are truly sad and fucked-up
Well, what now? Me - I will be shagging as usual for the next week or two, then the chemo really kicks in. So, I’ll make plans for that one step at a time. You – you can sort your own fucking life out!
Please note: I will be missing for periods of time, the same as I have recently been missing – so now you know why – STOP BLOODY ASKING ME WHERE HAVE I BEEN!!!!!!
If you know someone going through something similar and have questions you want to ask yet don’t know how to ask that person (or you are just a nosey fucker) – feel free to ask me. I can handle any amount of technical questions about what happens, what the physically effects are and the options they may have. Don’t bloody ask me how am I feeling (as in emotionally) because you won’t like the very rude reply you WILL get!
Again at this point all the “sheep†amongst you will be really fucked as to what to write in this thread – hmmmmmm – this could really sort the chaff from the wheat in terms of people with substance. Note to sheep – be fucking original for once and say something of your own! Have the balls to have an opinion!
I surprised myself as I started typing this ( but I have got this far so might as well go on some more). I guess it does help to just ramble thoughts down so I can get some things in order, though I tend to keep things like this quite private - for several reasons:
1: for most of the people on here - it is none of your bloody business what is happening in my life. I will share whatever I want to share and nothing more. I have a real life and don’t totally rely on a cyber-world for company.
2: people treat you differently when there is something like this wrong with you. People seem to feel they need to tip-toe around you. Fuck that – I am still shagging as much as ever and much prefer it if you ignore what you know and just get on with the fucking ta very much.
3: people expect you to be an emotional wreck and either avoid you or think you will not do normal things anymore– think again! I may be a bit sensitive at times or blunter than usual, but anyone who knows me really well knows it is not intentional and understands I am just having a moment.
4: people want to feel sorry for you – now that is a waste of time. Don’t feel sorry for me – I feel sorry for most of you! For lots of reasons!
To those of you people who think cancer is one of the worst things that can possibly happen to a person – that depends on what else you have experienced in life I guess. Dieing might be the ultimate downer, but I, as with many cancer hosts (I hate the words ‘victim’ and ‘sufferer’) am still here! Some do die – but don’t we all in the end. It at least it gives us some warning, if only a few hours – unlike an accident. I have had what I perceive as far worse experiences to deal with – some in the last few weeks. Cancer is honest. It is there because it is. You don’t need to question its motives; it is a biological sequence and sticks to the rules. I have felt greater upset, sadness, confusion and pain at the hand of another person – more so than any few dodgy dividing cells can make me feel.
Well – that is my rambling over with. Let’s see where this goes? Or, could this opener turn out to be the ultimate thread killer?
I await with interest to see what happens.
:lol: :lol: 
Mmmmmmmmmmm knobs :twisted: :lol:
Well i don't know you 'from Adam' and you don't know me so here people do post hard luck stories to gain a bit of sympathy ( i've seen this on other sites).Its probably something that they feel they need to do but you say that is'nt the case with ok what do you want me to say??? keep smiling? Dont let it get you down? Fuck off and die?
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