As we know, there are a great many different terms that swingy folk need to get to grips with. You really don't want to mix up your KY with your FB or you could be on the slippery slope faster than you'd know it.
Therefore I've provided a service here of words which have a particular meaning on a site such as this. This is primarily to help all newbie members who may be baffled by the complex terminology and acronyms in use across the site.
Please, take no notice of the other post that pertains to list all known swinging phrases and acronyms. That was posted by an errant moderator one time in a fit of pique who wanted to dupe innocent young people into thinking these terms meant something very rude and naughty. This is entirely not the case.
To start with here are some nice easy phrases, I would hope other experienced members of the site would join in with their own pearls of wisdom.
"Condom" - Someone who says they like being in control, but is actually fibbing.
"FWB" - Laughably called Friends with Benefits. It's actually a slang term from the name "Frank Winston Bough" and a FWB is someone who goes to a hotel to indulge in nefarious sexual practices whilst on Breakfast television. A bit like Lorraine Kelly.
"Spanking" - Some would have you believe it is an act of smacking someone on the bottom. It actually should be spelt "span king" and refers of course to famous bridge builder Isambard Kingdom Brunel, who is world famous for his stunning erections.
"Lesbo" - Not a rather tacky name for a gay female. Oh No, it is actually a court order that bans any females of undefined sexuality from wearing hoodies, going out in town centres in large groups and terrorising men by being equally adept at things they feel they should be superior at.
"Roger Moore" - No, wait a moment, actually this is a perverse sexual activity that has no place on a site like this.
"Cuckolder" - Something you store Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey in when not in use.
"Cuckold" - Jamie Oliver's age for example.
"Hotwife" - Swineflu has struck.
"Bull" - I find that hard to believe.
"Bisexual" - Shags you, and then fecks off immediately.
"Tri-sexual" - Shags you in a variety of different ways.
"Vanilla" - The nickname of a football team from Birmingham.
"Shag" - A large fish-eating sea faring bird with loose morals...
However it isn't just terms, there are hidden meanings in many names on the site.
"Noladreams" is actually "No Lad reams", which I'm sure her friend BIoke would be able to confirm is entirely untrue.
"Cherrytree" is actually "Cher Rytree, famous pop star with long hair, long legs and a predilection for making entirely camp pop videos aboard a boat with lots of sailors, often sat astride many inches of pumping gunsteel. Was once married to Sonny Bono, yes I know, how obviously rude is that name...
I'm sure other posters can add their own definitions to help the wide eyed newbies adjust to life on this little planet of ours.
"
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Swinging Heaven : The alternative Dictionary
Sex God
Quote by Resonance
However it isn't just terms, there are hidden meanings in many names on the site.
"Noladreams" is actually "No Lad reams", which I'm sure her friend BIoke would be able to confirm is entirely untrue.
"
If only you knew the conversation that had been had earlier today! Quote by Witchy
DP = Don't panic.
Female Ejaculation, it's what happens when you team a nagging wife with an ejector seat...
Res '0' Nance, a camp Irish builder, cousin of the Orelly men.
Sure I have a piccy of a forumite sat astride many inches of pumping gunsteel somewhere. Must have been Cherry...
To be sure, to be sure, to be sure.
Ah begorrah
Oi'll have a pint o' Guinness!
(Well it's better than Bono)
Quote by BIoke
Steady on Res, I took her to Talacre for the night in my Ford Capri and bought her a candy floss and stick of pink rock but 'friend' is a bit too strong a phrase! :rascal:
Stylish...
Listen, you got Nola in your car alone, that's pretty much marriage in my book... I once saw her around Tesco before she got the restraining order in place.
Incidentally -
BI-oke - A lot of well manicured men wearing pink hats singing along to Mamma Mia.
Wit-chy - The odd scratching you get down below when you think of something exceedingly funny...
Quote by Resonance
BI-oke - A lot of well manicured men wearing pink hats singing along to Mamma Mia.
Thanks Res, I just spat good wine (OK, Thresher's Lambrusco Blush) all over me mam and dad's lino.. and they negotiated hard with the man at Birkenhead market as it was an end of roll special too
Quote by BIoke
BI-oke - A lot of well manicured men wearing pink hats singing along to Mamma Mia.
Thanks Res, I just spat good wine (OK, Thresher's Lambrusco Blush) all over me mam and dad's lino.. and they negotiated hard with the man at Birkenhead market as it was an end of roll special too
And the bloke from Birkenhead market nicked it from the police station canteen
