Hiya gang A question to everyone really... I know the swinging community prides itself on it's openness and freedom, however one area that still seems to be closed for the most part is for girls like me. i.e. Full Time Pre-Op transexuals, the straight guys dont want us, most single girls dont want us, so my question is, who does?, is there anyone in the community who swings with transexuals?? I would love to hear your views on this.. Hugs Dannii xxx
i thought that the TV/TS chatrooms and advert sections on this site were very busy places....... of course theres always the chance that these places arent representative of the so called "swinging World" but i doubt it....
Hiya DeeCee, Thats my point.. there is a separate section for TV/TS, as if we are to be shunted to one side, i dont know if this is the intention but thats how it feels sometimes. I'm a full time pre-op TS woman, yes, until the op I still have man bits, but I am and have always felt that I am female.. I've never really done the "tranny" scene so dont know what to expect there either.. so i suppose the real question I was aking is, where do i fit in with the "mainstream" swinging scene? Hugs Dannii xxx
Quote by danniella9401 Thats my point.. there is a separate section for TV/TS, as if we are to be shunted to one side,
There are separate sections for males, females, couples etc. - doesn't mean you are being shunted aside, just that you are in a different category. What category would you place your ad in if there wasn't a TV/TS category? - you've said yourself that you have man bits but see yourself as a female. I doubt that many men would see you as female until after your op though. You've placed an ad - if anyone wants to contact you, they will. If they are reticent about replying to your ad privately, they are unlikely to come in here and make public comments, I would think.
Quote by danniella9401 where do i fit in with the "mainstream" swinging scene? Hugs Dannii xxx
Hi Dannii, I havent voted as none of the options match my views on this and the longer I have been on here, the harder I have found it to be able to describe what 'mainstream' is. Personally I could not give a dam if a person is pre or post op, male or female. I want to meet and play with the whole package, the personality and the PERSON - that is what I am interested in, whether they have dangly bits, tucked in-side bits or anything inbetween, I seriously just want the 'person' not just the sex organs! Sorry if it sounds a bit blunt, but it is how I feel, its the person that matters! As for the TV/TS rooms that DeeCee mentioned, these are not permanent rooms in chat, they are opened by people who have a specific interest in that area, same as the BBW. Black on White and specific location rooms. Good luck and hope you do have loads of fun on here
Quote by danniella9401 Hiya DeeCee, Thats my point.. there is a separate section for TV/TS, as if we are to be shunted to one side, Hugs Dannii xxx
All the TS/TV rooms in chat are opened by members - no one is forcing them to be in there rather than any other *mainstream* room, but from my experience they seem to want a room of their own. Maybe they feel more comfortable in those? However, not everyone is comfortable with TV/TS people as has also been witnessed in chat, so maybe this is an indication that not everyone in mainstream is comfortable with them, nor they with the mainstream? I've been in such rooms many times and I have to say the behaviour in them is often far better than in the mainstream rooms. Each to his own I say, but for me I think I would feel confused swinging with a person who displayed male genitals but dressed as fem - especially if they had better lingerie than I did ;-) Good luck! TJ xx
I havent (as yet).. though seem to rule nothing out as an absolute no-no... in the same way I sometimes find it slightly difficult to say (in a matter of fact manner) what I actually DO want... never say never I guess.. However...I am aware of someone who maost definately want to play... >but Im saying nowt!< Have fun! LP
Quote by danniella9401 Hiya gang A question to everyone really... I know the swinging community prides itself on it's openness and freedom, however one area that still seems to be closed for the most part is for girls like me. i.e. Full Time Pre-Op transexuals, the straight guys dont want us, most single girls dont want us, so my question is, who does?, is there anyone in the community who swings with transexuals?? I would love to hear your views on this.. Hugs Dannii xxx
Welcome to the asylum, danniella I've mentioned once today, so I'll say it again. One of the things that appeals to me about this lifestyle, and this site in particular is the tolerance and acceptance of all sorts of people, by all sorts of people. Please forgive any (sexually technical) mistakes I make in this post. Straight guys possibly aren't interested - sexually - because you still have, as you say, "men's bits" That could also be true of some females/couples not being interested. That may or may not change when you come out the other side of your surgery. I can quite readily see how some people may be uncomfortable with the idea of playing with someone in your position. You say you've always felt that you're a girl, but at the moment are you not somewhere between the two ? You ask about people playing with "girls like you" and then ask if anyone swings with transexuals. I'd have to say - as a "straight guy" that I see a massive difference between the two. Playing with a pre-op ts would have no appeal to me at all, but I wouldn't rule out playing with a convincing, feminine post-op ts. It's unfortunate that you feel sometimes "shunted to one side" - I think that's possibly more the way you view it, than it actually being the case. I feel fairly confident to say you'll be accepted here (or not) because of whoyou are and the way you are, not whatyou are. Good luck :thumbup:
Quote by RedHot I've been in such rooms many times and I have to say the behaviour in them is often far better than in the mainstream rooms.
Hi danniella and welcome As RedHot says the TV/TS room is excellent room. there are a few folks in the room i chat with regularly and the room is very well controlled and kept free from un nice people. It's not seggregating as you still ultimatly have a choice on which chat room to use and same with the ads its identifying a place for likeminded folks to use and help find what you want from here.
Hi Dannii, :welcome: to the Cafe! I can't come anywhere close to knowing how you feel so I'm probably going to be way off the mark. That said, here are my totally uninformed thoughts: Should you really be asking whether there's a place for you in mainstream swinging, or should you instead be considering if swinging is right for you at this point in your journey. Maybe you could wait until you have the body that you're most comfortable with before jumping in the at deep end. Once you're sure how to catagorise yourself you'll be more able to decide what you want from the swinging scene, rather than asking people to catagorise you. As I said, that's probably all complete bollox, but either way, make yourself at home, make some friends, and above all make it right for you. Best wishes, Cueball.
Wow, thanks guys and girls for the replies, i'm certainly encouraged by what you have said. Yes, you are right, there is a choice of which room we can go into and I'm so happy there is, and the fact that most of you see the person rather than the gender is also heartening. I know that at the moment I am stuck between two camps, it's the same in my everyday life and i've learned to live with it (to some extent..lol) I hope I see you all in the chatrooms at some point and we can get to know each other better.. Thanks again and hugs Dannii xxx
Anyone like people who are trans??? *sticks hand into the air and grins* Me me me! Ok, I guess, a more constructive post would have been great and rather more helpful, but I'm not in that kind of mood right now! :D Good to see I'm one of three on the poll right now! Just be yourself, honest and open, see where things go and where you're feeling the most happy. Welcome to Swinging Heaven Danni, hope you find yourself at home here and have oodles of fun too. Gem. x
One of the several "first rule of swinging"s is "be tolerant"... and it's generally applied to tolerance of people who have different tastes to you. I think this applies to the orignal poster in two ways, firstly the original poster should be welcomed with open arms, by all an sundry, as they seem to be very nice, able to string a sentence together etc... but secondly it means the original poster also has to be tolerant of people whos personal tastes mean they dont want to play with them.* I think you are not getting the response you want because you are new, and not very well known round here, not because of your plumbing! Personally, as someone who loves playing with breasts, and loves playing with cocks, I have 'playing with a transexual or three' pretty high up on my wish list :twisted: * god that was a messy sentence, I wish I'd paid more attention earlier on in the thread where she made it clear she wanted to be referred to as 'she', it took me ages to word that without gender-specific pronouns!
Hiya Little gem and Mister D God i wish more people like you lived in my home town.....lol... but seriously Mr D, it proabably is because i'm new here and finding my feet so to speak, and the last thing i want to do is offend anyone, but i thought it would be best to find out the general feeling amongst the membership, hell it could save me a lot of money in membership fees and a lot of heartache is this was the wrong place for me, fortunately, from the responses I've had to this thread and also in messsages and in the chat room, this is precisely where I should be, as the vast majority are fun, friendly people. Thank you again Hugs Dannii xxx
I think you are not getting the response you want because you are new, and not very well known round here, not because of your plumbing!
spot on IMO. daniella, i won't pretend that it's blue skies and rainbows here, or that in the grand scheme of things you might be any more welcome here than you might be in the real world. to some, your status, whether sexually or surgically, might be a bit of an issue . . . understandably . . . just as bisexuality can be a bit of an issue, or size, or colour, or anything else for that matter when it comes to sexual partners? but, i'd say you will find a great degree of acceptance here, as a person, whatever your status, and i do know of several who are somewhere along a line you might want to call "transgendered" who are not only welcome, but valued, respected, and even loved, in their own right, as people. even been known to swing from time to time! ;) i'd say there is a place, but you have to find it yourself. being new is probably more of a problem than being trans? :welcome: neil x x x ;)
Quote by danniella9401 Hiya Little gem and Mister D from the responses I've had to this thread and also in messsages and in the chat room, this is precisely where I should be, as the vast majority are fun, friendly people.
Get to know the girls and guys in the TV/TS rooms they are a great bunch and see you in there soon and good luck
Well, I think the poll results pretty much speak for themselves, and once again I find myself in the majority. Maybe its because as a Bi male I feel I could 'let myself go' a little more with a pre op TS, than I can with another man. To be honest, I'm not sure how I would feel if the option ever came up, but as I am open minded and easy going I think I would go with the flow and see where it led. My partner (F) is rather excited at the thought, so as we usually play together on balance I could go for it. No probs. H
Daniella, it is a ll a matter of time. Little gem is in a big city so easy to find! But seriously there are lots of people here having the saem doubts as yourself, I am bi curious male, that in itself leaves me to one side with some people as i honestly don't know what to say when they ask 'what y into'. personally i agree with one of the earlier posts if the person is decent and the feeling is ther e then get it on, regardless of sex/gender. i think you will probably get a million replies form 'straight' guys when you are post-op, because of some peoplesinability to think outside of the box. Me, I have always been open minded, doesnt mean i agree with anyone, but i do always agree with their right to differ, in views, outlook etc. Be safe, be happy and enjoy life Sam,roughy toughy soldier with penchant for bi couples, and pre-op TS:)
Quote by Reikiradical Maybe its because as a Bi male I feel I could 'let myself go' a little more with a pre op TS... H
I don't class myself as Bi, always thought I was straight, but this topic has made me think, if the person was for all thought, emotion and legal reasons female (has Gender Reasignment Certificate etc) then I surely cannot be so shallow to think I only play with the body not the mind as well. If I would play with a woman with a strap-on would a pre-op TS be any different ? I hope I haven't offended anyone by typing my train of thought, but no malice was intended, just me trying to work out something I have never thought of before. Thank you danniella9401 for making me think. Licker .
We regulary go to fetish parties and would love to swing with a good looking pre op ts but its finding them. TS that call themseves George and have hairy legs dont do it for us. Do you remember that program - Something about Miriam. Now I may be wrong as I didnt watch it all but it was an Amercian dating show where the woman was actually a TS and the men didnt know. She was sexy and all the men I spoke to about it said they would! Mel xxx
Well Dani , I have been on the site for quite sometime now and can only say I have always been treated with the courtesy and respect that the swinging heaven community affords to all that venture here , generally if you can accept the prefrences of the other community members then they seem to respect yours , wherever you roam on here....have fun..............Steph
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Just be yourself, honest and open, see where things go and where you're feeling the most happy.
even been known to swing from time to time! ;)
