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SwingVillage

I can't make up my mind whether to be the local dole scrounger or the security guy who monitors all the CCTV cameras.
Failing that I could always be the village idiot!
I can produce all kinds of preserves so we will be ok for jam, jelly, chutney and dried fruits etc.
My other skill - no not THAT (honestly, one track minds the lot of you) - teaching, may come in useful for spreading our skills around the village biggrin:D:D:D
I haven't had time to read all the posts - has anyone mentioned the risk of this turning into Midsomer Murders?
Can I volunteer Mr W as a grease monkey?
Where have the last post gone.
Quote by Whipsnspurs
still there t-mann just that the gremlins are at work and reposted my post.
as for hot bedding, hunny if i'm there it's bound to be hot lol
whips
Hired, please take your boots off before entering Lady Chatterley's
bed room.
cherry has the entertainment sorted for Tan's Tavern shall we have a pool and darts team?
drinks up boys
Quote by TanKinky
As landlady of Tan's Tavern it has been duly noted we are rather short staffed wink so will be recruiting buxom wenches, it is a very busy tavern so we will need quite a few good hard working staff - hours negotiable apply thaddaway <<<<<<<<<<<

wouldnt Fanny's hole sound better lol
i suppose i could do the boring stuff like look after the village finances, yawn
but can moonlight as village witch and masseuse
Quote by earthchild
As landlady of Tan's Tavern it has been duly noted we are rather short staffed wink so will be recruiting buxom wenches, it is a very busy tavern so we will need quite a few good hard working staff - hours negotiable apply thaddaway <<<<<<<<<<<

wouldnt Fanny's hole sound better lol
i suppose i could do the boring stuff like look after the village finances, yawn
but can moonlight as village witch and masseuse
:bounce: no to fannys hole though :twisted:
can I ask.... is this a green or brownfield site?
we dont want any 'land clearance'issues now do we...?
and Earthy, I can lay-on-the-hands too... team work?
lp
Quote by __random_orbit__
can I ask.... is this a green or brownfield site?
we dont want any 'land clearance'issues now do we...?
and Earthy, I can lay-on-the-hands too... team work?
lp

oooh yes please :twisted:
Bon Jovi Mode engaged:
:karaoke:
"Lay your hands on me
lay your hands on me
Lay your hands on meeeeeeeeee"
Quote by winchwench
Bon Jovi Mode engaged:
:karaoke:
"Lay your hands on me
lay your hands on me
Lay your hands on meeeeeeeeee"

Or even Reef
Place Your HandsOh place your hands, on my hope,
Run your fingers through my soul,
And the way that I feel right now,
Oh lord it may go.
So place your hands, on my hope,
Run your fingers through my soul,
And the way that we feel right now,
Oh lord it may go.
Put your hands on, put your hands on. (x4)
You know you cannot hide, from what’s inside,
You know you cannot hide, from what’s inside.
So I ask of you to help me through,
I ask of you this thing to do.
Put your hands on, put your hands on. (x2)
So lay me down, for a while,
Join my body with my mind,
And I cried at the common one,
For weeks aft’ he died.
Put your hands on, put your hands on. (x4)
And the way that we feel right now,
Oh lord it may go.
Quote by winchwench
I can see Tan's Tavern ending up looking like Coyote Ugly! lol Will anyone ever get anything done?
I (almost) have a Saloon girl outfit I could utilise! Oh, and I could come in pretty handy at kicking out time too wink

hired and ya only allowed on the bar if ya wearing heels :twisted: :karaoke:
Quote by TanKinky
I can see Tan's Tavern ending up looking like Coyote Ugly! lol Will anyone ever get anything done?
I (almost) have a Saloon girl outfit I could utilise! Oh, and I could come in pretty handy at kicking out time too wink

hired and ya only allowed on the bar if ya wearing heels :twisted: :karaoke:
Tan, I'm surprised you even felt the need to say it! I was born in heels gal!
(I've been mocked to within an inch of my life for crewing a tall ship in heels redface)
Quote by winchwench
I can see Tan's Tavern ending up looking like Coyote Ugly! lol Will anyone ever get anything done?
I (almost) have a Saloon girl outfit I could utilise! Oh, and I could come in pretty handy at kicking out time too wink

hired and ya only allowed on the bar if ya wearing heels :twisted: :karaoke:
Tan, I'm surprised you even felt the need to say it! I was born in heels gal!
(I've been mocked to within an inch of my life for crewing a tall ship in heels redface)#
Sounds painful :shock: but ya hired :bounce: we need a man thing to keep the bar in top top shape to avoid the wenches breaking their necks though :scared: or can i do that to sillyhwoar:
Quote by flower411
I`ve just had a quick look and there appears to be a vacancy for village idiot lol
:silly: wave

I think there was one application earlier, but I'm sure we can sort out a shift system!
Quote by flower411
I`ve just had a quick look and there appears to be a vacancy for village idiot lol
:silly: wave

I think there was one application earlier, but I'm sure we can sort out a shift system!
OK Missus !! What do ya want me to shift ?? :lol:
Yer arse to the village idiot seat! :lol:
Quote by flower411
OOOOOOO I got the job didn`t I !!! :bounce:

Well, you seemed to be the best qualified lol
Offering to be put in charge of the tents and room rota! biggrin
Quote by Sarah
Offering to be put in charge of the tents and room rota! biggrin

ooh yes we can have a swing camp for those who couldnt live in swing village permantly on the outskirts of course :idea:
second floor of Tans Tavern is getting all sprused up into playrooms for our very own club!
Quote by Whipsnspurs
oh tan can i have a job as miss whiplash? please i'm very well qualified for the post.
whips

Why of course will you be moon lighting though confused: wink
Quote by flower411

OOOOOOO I got the job didn`t I !!! :bounce:

Well, you seemed to be the best qualified lol
Fuckwittery and idiocy are very closely related !!
Indeed they are! :lol:
well for the evenings i can supply the wine drinkies
and during the day i can be on plumbing duties, i always enjoy sorting out ladies pipework :twisted:
Quote by Ukwineman
well for the evenings i can supply the wine drinkies
and during the day i can be on plumbing duties, i always enjoy sorting out ladies pipework :twisted:

:notes:
Quote by Freckledbird
Imagine we've all contributed to the cost of buying a village where we can all live without worrying who's watching people arrive at the house, can they see through the curtains etc. We have to be self-sufficient. Anything we can't produce ourselves is delivered beyond the village.
I think it could be something like that tribe they've just discovered, with all the media interest lol
My contribution would be to educate the youngsters to be as liberated in their thinking as we all are.
How do you imagine this would work? And what would be your contribution?

Can I plant the pampas grass? :rascal:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Blonde
You going to do the gardening then??
:giggle:
We'll need a baker, to make the tiger bread. biggrin
I have needs...
sorry!
can kneed!
lp
Id like to be the local gigolo.
Looks like a village with lots of potential for my services.