Talking absolute twat!!!!

2 Apr 2005

Quote by bluexxx
If you lie down on the planet, with or without imaginary velcro, can you look DOWN at the stars?

:eeek:
You've been on the pro-plus again, haven't you!
:eeek:
OK.... do bacteria believe that we are their universe? What if we are just bacteria in Giant Land?
Questions I've always wondered about :uhoh: :uhoh: :uhoh:
Do you never feel guilty for plugging in the vacuum cleaner and causing a hurricane in the micro world that is the interior of the bag? All those micro-homes for bacteria and germs all given the shake 'n' vac treatment - lucky I haven't got a Wet and Dry machine!1

2 Apr 2005

Quote by Jags
Do you never feel guilty for plugging in the vacuum cleaner and causing a hurricane in the micro world that is the interior of the bag? All those micro-homes for bacteria and germs all given the shake 'n' vac treatment - lucky I haven't got a Wet and Dry machine!1

No.

2 Apr 2005

Quote by Mac69
I cat the lawn today

:eeek:
I hope the cat didn't mind! :shock:

2 Apr 2005

The cat's not feline herself at the moment. Must be the neat alcohol.....
Bacteria & dust must lead a pretty boring life- no playsations, TV or radio. I think that the vacuum cleaner must gic=ve some exitement to all the bored dustbugs an' all - by cleaning we add a little exitement all round for the poor little things
WHY!! can't I spel write tonyte?

2 Apr 2005

Quote by Mac69
Bacteria & dust must lead a pretty boring life- no playsations, TV or radio.

How do you know they don't have all those things and much more fun stuff............ it might just be that we can't see them cos they're all very tiny.
blink

2 Apr 2005

I peek on them in the night with my microscope. They havn't seen me yet....
'cos, they might like a quiet life.
Who lives on Cloud 8, anyway?

2 Apr 2005

Quote by Mac69
Who lives on Cloud 8, anyway?

......The people who can afford a better post code than those on Cloud 7.... but they haven't quite made it to the very top yet cool

2 Apr 2005

If #9's the top, does that mean there's no Cloud 10 or above? I mean, where do you go after #9?

2 Apr 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh there are so many wonderful 'pissed so lets put the world to rights' conversations, just floating out there further and further away ............ and that pissed girl that is floating out there having one of these pissed conversations probably thinks that she is real and she is the original Missy to say it, and she isn't :shock: I was, last year some time, not her :shock:
Missy - not a floating piece of time :undecided:

:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:
missy . . . i understood you perfectly . . . .
is that very wrong of me? seemed a good idea at the time? dunno

come 'ere missy . . . passionkiss

n x x x :P

2 Apr 2005

Quote by Mac69
If you lie down on the planet, with or without imaginary velcro, can you look DOWN at the stars? Instructions please - I cat the lawn today and I might try it now I know there are no tigers or elephants waiting to ambush me.

Oh it can be done ............... by the way well done on removing all the dead dogs n elephants from yer lawn worship

I was going to, but something wet n slimy touched my leg on my way to the lawn mower shed confused

Anyway, hold on and will go get me velcro instructions biggrin

Don't move, will be back in a minute :D No, no I mean it ............. don't move never had an audience before, and you sure ain't gonna get away now lol

OK back :D Got me book here goes
Props:
A starry sky
Cut grass which is free of all winter carnage (how lucky was that eh? :D )
Imaginary Velcro
Will take an hour or so this, cos you gotta get your mind right blink

Now get the velcro and stick yourself to the grass, do your legs first cos they're easy. For your arms, it might be easier to stick half the velcro to the grass, then the other half to each arm, then lay back onto it :D
OK, now don't move cos you don't want to come unstuck :shock: Oops, forgot to say, make sure any pets are locked inside for the duration, cos you don't want a dog peeing up yer body when you're stuck to the ground :shock:
Now you've got to look Down at the stars, concentrate on them. You have to do this for quite a while .......... bluddy ages in fact, and you're not allowed to natter while you're concentrating :undecided:
In your mindset you've got to overturn the universe, really concentrate, don't move, you are fastened to the earth so you're not gonna fall off. Eventually and slowly you will feel like you're looking down on the stars, you're flying above them. Don't move your body, keep very still, concentrate on it being stuck to the earth. Kind of like a real live giant magic eye picture, one minute nothing then the next oooooooooh wow will ya look at that cor bluddy blimey type stuff :shock:.............
oooooh phone :happy: ........ so yeh, that's what ya do and it works :smile2:

2 Apr 2005

:laughabove: :worship: :laughabove: :worship: lol

Oh MIssy! That is a quality one, a classic! Velcroed to grass, I mean how rediculous! :uhoh:
redface

I am not actually going to come here and admit to you all that I have done that sticky floor thingy more than once and it is a highlight of getting very drunk for me! surprised

ops:

Oh what a sheltered life I have lead. :lol:
I tend to end up telling folk....
Iwuv you, you know, you know that dont ya, that I wuv ya. I mean I really do. <hic> Really really. I know I said I hated you, but I dint realy mean it at all <stagger> I do wuv yooo. Youre my bestestest friend and I don't know what id doooo wifout yooooo. <trip n fall> <hic> I just wanted to tell you I loved ya. You know, that don't ya.......
you get the picture. :oops:

2 Apr 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: @ MISSCHIEF
Shireen
xxx

2 Apr 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
OK back Got me book here goes

PMSL!!!!!!!

:rotflmao:
This is why I adore you so much!!!!! lol

:lol:

2 Apr 2005

Quote by little gem
I tend to end up telling folk....
Iwuv you, you know, you know that dont ya, that I wuv ya. I mean I really do. <hic> Really really. I know I said I hated you, but I dint realy mean it at all <stagger> I do wuv yooo. Youre my bestestest friend and I don't know what id doooo wifout yooooo. <trip n fall> <hic> I just wanted to tell you I loved ya. You know, that don't ya.......
you get the picture.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
You just almost described me and Dammie at the Scottish munch!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

2 Apr 2005

I wish I'd read the bit about getting the dog out of the way before I tried it.
I am writing this waiting for the ambulance to arrive as I have dislocated both legs and an arm. My bum feels wet, too.
It did work! When I tried to get up I hit my head and saw the stars!
Now, where's tha b***dy dog....... lol

2 Apr 2005

and I feel dizzy from watching the Universe rotate sad

2 Apr 2005

Quote by Rainbows
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
You just almost described me and Dammie at the Scottish munch!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

:inlove: :thrilled: :rose: :beer: kiss

2 Apr 2005

Quote by Mac69
I wish I'd read the bit about getting the dog out of the way before I tried it.
I am writing this waiting for the ambulance to arrive as I have dislocated both legs and an arm. My bum feels wet, too.
It did work! When I tried to get up I hit my head and saw the stars!
Now, where's tha b***dy dog.......

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Just don't let anyone in here try to fed your pets.... they are cruel! Damn side splitingly funny with it so it's kind of ok....... kind of.
Bows and Dammie, I can imagine. As long as he remembered to remove the comb from his hair and set his hotel mug down, then its all ok! :lol:
I am loving this thread, not laughed at stuff on here like this for ages. well done people! biggrin

Missy,
How about the whirlygig one, where you velcro yourself to the floor/ bed and make the room/ world spin around you as if you are the axis?
A whole host of leaflets called "Missy's guide to drunken acts of velcro."

2 Apr 2005

Missy,
I await with baited (or could be bad) breath to hear of your velcro exploits!
Is that what they mean when they talk about being stuck on someone?
Oh, an thanks for asking, I feel much better now though the doctor says that I may always have a limp.

3 Apr 2005

Tonight we have been mostly talking about:-
Faeries
Weddings
Houses
The Pope
in that order biggrin

Jas
XXX

3 Apr 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
If you lie down on the planet, with or without imaginary velcro, can you look DOWN at the stars? Instructions please - I cat the lawn today and I might try it now I know there are no tigers or elephants waiting to ambush me.

Oh it can be done ............... by the way well done on removing all the dead dogs n elephants from yer lawn worship

I was going to, but something wet n slimy touched my leg on my way to the lawn mower shed confused

Anyway, hold on and will go get me velcro instructions biggrin

Don't move, will be back in a minute :D No, no I mean it ............. don't move never had an audience before, and you sure ain't gonna get away now lol

OK back :D Got me book here goes
Props:
A starry sky
Cut grass which is free of all winter carnage (how lucky was that eh? :D )
Imaginary Velcro
Will take an hour or so this, cos you gotta get your mind right blink

Now get the velcro and stick yourself to the grass, do your legs first cos they're easy. For your arms, it might be easier to stick half the velcro to the grass, then the other half to each arm, then lay back onto it :D
OK, now don't move cos you don't want to come unstuck :shock: Oops, forgot to say, make sure any pets are locked inside for the duration, cos you don't want a dog peeing up yer body when you're stuck to the ground :shock:
Now you've got to look Down at the stars, concentrate on them. You have to do this for quite a while .......... bluddy ages in fact, and you're not allowed to natter while you're concentrating :undecided:
In your mindset you've got to overturn the universe, really concentrate, don't move, you are fastened to the earth so you're not gonna fall off. Eventually and slowly you will feel like you're looking down on the stars, you're flying above them. Don't move your body, keep very still, concentrate on it being stuck to the earth. Kind of like a real live giant magic eye picture, one minute nothing then the next oooooooooh wow will ya look at that cor bluddy blimey type stuff :shock:.............
oooooh phone :happy: ........ so yeh, that's what ya do and it works :smile2:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
naughty MissChief! smackbottom

dear missy . . .
far be it from from me to suggest you might be a tad bonkers . . . but i'm off to see if i can get a snog outta jas instead, just to be on the safe side??? dunno

not that i'm a bit scared or owt like that, oh no! :smug: i'm sure we'd get along famously! :scared: :eeek: cool

3 Apr 2005

Quote by bluexxx
If you lie down on the planet, with or without imaginary velcro, can you look DOWN at the stars?

:eeek:
You've been on the pro-plus again, haven't you!
:eeek:
OK.... do bacteria believe that we are their universe? What if we are just bacteria in Giant Land?
Questions I've always wondered about :uhoh: :uhoh: :uhoh:
I've had the same conversation, but I wasn't just drinking..... :smoke:

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh it can be done ............... by the way well done on removing all the dead dogs n elephants from yer lawn I was going to, but something wet n slimy touched my leg on my way to the lawn mower shed
Anyway, hold on and will go get me velcro instructions Don't move, will be back in a minute :D No, no I mean it ............. don't move never had an audience before, and you sure ain't gonna get away now
OK back :D Got me book here goes
Props:
A starry sky
Cut grass which is free of all winter carnage (how lucky was that eh? :D )
Imaginary Velcro
Will take an hour or so this, cos you gotta get your mind right Now get the velcro and stick yourself to the grass, do your legs first cos they're easy. For your arms, it might be easier to stick half the velcro to the grass, then the other half to each arm, then lay back onto it :D
OK, now don't move cos you don't want to come unstuck :shock: Oops, forgot to say, make sure any pets are locked inside for the duration, cos you don't want a dog peeing up yer body when you're stuck to the ground :shock:
Now you've got to look Down at the stars, concentrate on them. You have to do this for quite a while .......... bluddy ages in fact, and you're not allowed to natter while you're concentrating :undecided:
In your mindset you've got to overturn the universe, really concentrate, don't move, you are fastened to the earth so you're not gonna fall off. Eventually and slowly you will feel like you're looking down on the stars, you're flying above them. Don't move your body, keep very still, concentrate on it being stuck to the earth. Kind of like a real live giant magic eye picture, one minute nothing then the next oooooooooh wow will ya look at that cor bluddy blimey type stuff :shock:.............
oooooh phone :happy: ........ so yeh, that's what ya do and it works :smile2:

Ooooo now this I have done, but without the velcro.... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
If you lie there for long enough, the speed the planet is travelling through the universe will pin you to the grass like a bug on a car windsreen.

3 Apr 2005

Quote by little gem
Missy,
How about the whirlygig one, where you velcro yourself to the floor/ bed and make the room/ world spin around you as if you are the axis?

I find that copious amounts of vodka have the same effect........... followed by copious amounts of vomit drinkies

3 Apr 2005

OMG you lot are WORSE than what we were :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
We have just

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: ,bloody nutty the lot of you lol

Its a good job that I stayed relatively sober last night :smug: That other half of mine turned out to be a bit of a lightweight flipa

:evil2:

3 Apr 2005

If I am making any sense, I usually talk about the afterlife and stuff. Gets really deep sometimes.

3 Apr 2005

Quote by little gem
I tend to end up telling folk....
Iwuv you, you know, you know that dont ya, that I wuv ya. I mean I really do. <hic> Really really. I know I said I hated you, but I dint realy mean it at all <stagger> I do wuv yooo. Youre my bestestest friend and I don't know what id doooo wifout yooooo. <trip n fall> <hic> I just wanted to tell you I loved ya. You know, that don't ya.......
you get the picture.

With you on the soppy drunk thing there Gem.
But have to admit it's the soppy sober moments that cause me concern.

3 Apr 2005

Quote by Clare_Lincs
Everybodeeeee
Me and Steve have been sat here talking absolute twat thanks to the old Malibu and Voddie :cheers:
So were having some deep and very intellectual conversation (Oi no laughing in the back there! :jagsatwork: )
So what deep and meaningful piles of twat do you lot converse about when pissed????
Yup Im being nosey,so come on,enlighten me please

Sober or drunk....... It makes no difference............... I am convinced I am an Alien and dont come from this planet................. I have my own little planet................. thats why I talk to myself.......... because I am the only person who can understand me................ so far today, I have discussed a newbie who isnt happy about being here, kissing the popes ring, jiggles anniversary and sex........lol

3 Apr 2005

When i'm drunk still talk the same shit as when i'm sober......but this time while swaying!

3 Apr 2005

Quote by blondeslave
Everybodeeeee
Me and Steve have been sat here talking absolute twat thanks to the old Malibu and Voddie :cheers:
So were having some deep and very intellectual conversation (Oi no laughing in the back there! :jagsatwork: )
So what deep and meaningful piles of twat do you lot converse about when pissed????
Yup Im being nosey,so come on,enlighten me please

Sober or drunk....... It makes no difference............... I am convinced I am an Alien and dont come from this planet................. I have my own little planet................. thats why I talk to myself.......... because I am the only person who can understand me................ so far today, I have discussed a newbie who isnt happy about being here, kissing the popes ring, jiggles anniversary and sex........lol
I talk about most things usually sex as I am the original Walking Hormone but here are some topics to get you all thinking:
1.) If you strangle a smurf, what colour does he turn?
2.) Lesbians - Why is there always one good looking one and one that looks like a man?
3.) Chemistry, told to take it at school and I still am taking it hehehe (only alcohol)
4.) Breasts, shaped mounds of fat and muscle which make a man go weak at the knees
5.) Cocks, shaped mounds of muscle which make most women laugh.
That is something to be going on with for now

3 Apr 2005

Quote by MQ
Missy,
How about the whirlygig one, where you velcro yourself to the floor/ bed and make the room/ world spin around you as if you are the axis?

I find that copious amounts of vodka have the same effect........... followed by copious amounts of vomit drinkies

or vodka jelly maybe? :lol:
Don't tell me about throwing up. On wednesday night I went back with my RL friend and drowned our sorrows until 8am the next morning and we drank everything we could find (including some stella that I had ear marked for Neil's birthday. Oh well! biggrin

) As the sun rose I insisted I had to go for a walk. We got some fags, sausages and eggs on the journey while talking about colours and relationships.
Apparently I'm swinging for the wrong reasons because I am looking for the pink glowy colour and all I get from swinging is white, hollow or dark blue. rolleyes

Now that was a drunken conversation and a half. It continued until we had eaten the full fry up breakfast and snuggled down to bed at which point we both pratically passed out. :lol:
Not done an all nighter like that for years! :lol: Dancing around the table while watching music television. It all comes highly recommended. Four hours sleep does not though, especially when you are woken by your mate farting. :roll:
She had given her flat keys to her partner and we had to trek into town to get them. While waiting for them infront of the university library I could feel my head going into that spinny place. Then it was like the saliva flood gates had been opened. I knew I was going to be sick so dived for the nearest grid. At which point my friend returns and laughs at the fact I have managed to get my shoes and the bottom of my trousers. redface

I've never seen someone so proud that I had been sick. :lol: Apparently a sign of a quality night out and not as shameful as being sick on the night. :roll: