Talking politics.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by flower411
Seems some people are proposing a new forum for political threads.
Try the Radio 4 forums :thumbup:
This is a swinging site and I think the cafe should be used for general chit chat and a bit of fun. Of course there will be serious threads but why would a swinging site want a whole forum dedicated to political/controversial threads ???
The mods have enough to do without having to police a whole new forum totally dedicated to poitics.
As I said, try the Radio 4 forums, they have loads of really good arguments if that`s what ya looking for.

Sorry didn’t mean just political I was really talking topical.
Some topic can get heated like the one I have locked that wasn’t political.
It was just an idea I didn’t say it would work here, just that from keeping general topic and more topical one apart, might help some that get upset at some debates from knowing where those debates might occur and be able to avoid them.
Maybe some topics should be banned and the forums just used for sex threads and fun threads.
I don’t know what others feel about this?
After all this site is a fun site, I still have fun that’s why I am here.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by flower411
This is a swinging site and I think the cafe should be used for general chit chat and a bit of fun.

Rightio, so what you think goes eh?
At least we know what the rules are now. rolleyes

24 Sep 2008

One of the great things about this site and the forum in it is its inclusiveness to cater for most people and tastes.
The Forum is broad spectrum and has loads of different topics isn't that a good thing. Blimey we all have the right of veto on our own keyboards. I like the heavy stuff oh and I like the sexy funny stuff is what I like too and the flippant stuff and the general interest stuff and the sad stuff happy stuff short stuff long stuff. Leave it be its fine.
I guess there could be a poll but dont ask me to get involved with that one lol

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Lost
One of the great things about this site and the forum in it is its inclusiveness to cater for most people and tastes.
The Forum is broad spectrum and has loads of different topics isn't that a good thing. Blimey we all have the right of veto on our own keyboards. I like the heavy stuff oh and I like the sexy funny stuff is what I like too and the flippant stuff and the general interest stuff and the sad stuff happy stuff short stuff long stuff. Leave it be its fine.
I guess there could be a poll but dont ask me to get involved with that one

I totally agree with all you have said! kiss

Should I start the poll? lol

24 Sep 2008

Quote by flower411
This is a swinging site and I think the cafe should be used for general chit chat and a bit of fun.

Rightio, so what you think goes eh?
At least we know what the rules are now. rolleyes

Aww ..yet another misinterpretation of another persons opinion.
The clue in that sentence is in the words "I think" maybe you should get ya dictionaries out again .
It's all in the context.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by flower411
Seems some people are proposing a new forum for political threads.
Try the Radio 4 forums :thumbup:
This is a swinging site and I think the cafe should be used for general chit chat and a bit of fun. Of course there will be serious threads but why would a swinging site want a whole forum dedicated to political/controversial threads ???
The mods have enough to do without having to police a whole new forum totally dedicated to poitics.
As I said, try the Radio 4 forums, they have loads of really good arguments if that`s what ya looking for.

so does that mean that you're not going to start threads on policital topics or comment on those ones if someone else does.????
i think you are missing the point...
what i was proposing would be a way to prevent the following:
1) people not involved in the debate posting saying that they cant stand the "friction".
2)the above people then "flouncing" or leaving the site because of the atmosphere.
and the like......

24 Sep 2008

Quote by flower411
This is a swinging site and I think the cafe should be used for general chit chat and a bit of fun.

Rightio, so what you think goes eh?
At least we know what the rules are now. rolleyes

Aww ..yet another misinterpretation of another persons opinion.
The clue in that sentence is in the words "I think" maybe you should get ya dictionaries out again .
It's all in the context.
And the context being that as a member of a swinging site and a contributor to this forum I am entitled to my opinion and people should be able to put forward their opinions without worrying that a bully ........You for instance......will come along and pick their post to bits.
If you have an opinion, then state it. Please stop using foul language on this forum in attempt to intimidate people ...it`s getting really really boring !!
I'm sorry, I didn't realise the use of "context" was so profane. rolleyes

24 Sep 2008

Quote by flower411

au contraire... you are missing the points that i made completely...there are others too... but i was just trying to deal with the way to make the place a little more cheery,
and why do you do it with such a bad attitude?????

24 Sep 2008

I belong to a US glass forum (free site/donations) - part of the forum got political - there was loads of bickering an nastiness between about three people. The owner and other members had enough of it so the owner closed that section of the forum and anyone who wanted to read it/post had to pay! An the silly sods paid to carry it on confused

They also have a section called The Bathroom - where you can have a moan, you can only read/post in it if you have made so many posts in the rest of the forum. At midnight - the bathroom is flushed. It works really well. Suppose its a little like the steam room here.

24 Sep 2008

do you know what......
the more I read the more I think some people really do just go out to wind people up just for the sheer fun of it... regardless, its like they get a kick
and the more i can see it will turn off people from writing or participate in the forum.....
it feels as if the forum has become the domain of strong attitudes... and if they don't agree, then be damned.....

24 Sep 2008

Quote by fabio
do you know what......
the more I read the more I think some people really do just go out to wind people up just for the sheer fun of it... regardless, its like they get a kick
and the more i can see it will turn off people from writing or participate in the forum.....
it feels as if the forum has become the domain of strong attitudes... and if they don't agree, then be damned.....

so, do you have any constructive comment on whether to "split" the forums in some way?

24 Sep 2008

Quote by DeeCee
do you know what......
the more I read the more I think some people really do just go out to wind people up just for the sheer fun of it... regardless, its like they get a kick
and the more i can see it will turn off people from writing or participate in the forum.....
it feels as if the forum has become the domain of strong attitudes... and if they don't agree, then be damned.....

so, do you have any constructive comment on whether to "split" the forums in some way?
it has always been this way... and in the 4 and a bit years I have been here I don't think it is a problem with the way it is split presently......
do I think it is "broken".... no.... i think the problem is more to do with attitude!
it has more to do with the way that some people like to try and influence others by the way comments that they disagree with are dismissed.... condesending, belittling, downright rude and obnoxious..... and like i said, to see "some" people IMO get a kick out of it is worse still

24 Sep 2008

Quote by fabio
do you know what......
the more I read the more I think some people really do just go out to wind people up just for the sheer fun of it... regardless, its like they get a kick
and the more i can see it will turn off people from writing or participate in the forum.....
it feels as if the forum has become the domain of strong attitudes... and if they don't agree, then be damned.....

so, do you have any constructive comment on whether to "split" the forums in some way?
it has always been this way... and in the 4 and a bit years I have been here I don't think it is a problem with the way it is split presently......
do I think it is "broken".... no.... i think the problem is more to do with attitude!
it has more to do with the way that some people like to try and influence others by the way comments that they disagree with are dismissed.... condesending, belittling, downright rude and obnoxious..... and like i said, to see "some" people IMO get a kick out of it is worse still
i think you make a good point...but things are only condesending, belittling, downright rude and obnoxious when percieved that way..... maybe words are taken out of context... maybe people are ultra-sensitive etc etc.
i just think that presently there are very few firm guidelines. Yes the AUP exists.. but that doesnt mean to say that rules dont need to be ammended or that guidelines for best practice shouldnt be considered.
my point is that coming onto a thread and voicing our opinions of how we percieve another members actions doesnt help at all.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by DeeCee
do you know what......
the more I read the more I think some people really do just go out to wind people up just for the sheer fun of it... regardless, its like they get a kick
and the more i can see it will turn off people from writing or participate in the forum.....
it feels as if the forum has become the domain of strong attitudes... and if they don't agree, then be damned.....

so, do you have any constructive comment on whether to "split" the forums in some way?
it has always been this way... and in the 4 and a bit years I have been here I don't think it is a problem with the way it is split presently......
do I think it is "broken".... no.... i think the problem is more to do with attitude!
it has more to do with the way that some people like to try and influence others by the way comments that they disagree with are dismissed.... condesending, belittling, downright rude and obnoxious..... and like i said, to see "some" people IMO get a kick out of it is worse still
i think you make a good point...but things are only condesending, belittling, downright rude and obnoxious when percieved that way..... maybe words are taken out of context... maybe people are ultra-sensitive etc etc.
i just think that presently there are very few firm guidelines. Yes the AUP exists.. but that doesnt mean to say that rules dont need to be ammended or that guidelines for best practice shouldnt be considered.
my point is that coming onto a thread and voicing our opinions of how we percieve another members actions doesnt help at all.
Can we question another’s opinion?
I think it is ok to do that!
I believe it is down to the way the question comes across.
The written form of talking is the hardest I believe you see it time after time here, that some people think what they say and others say what they think.
How we perceive others should be added to the AUP. To voice on the forums how we perceive another person in a negative way, is to me judging that person.
Who are we to judge anyone one by the written form?
Are we not all here to listen and keep an open mind?
Or are we here just to judge?

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Theladyisaminx
do you know what......
the more I read the more I think some people really do just go out to wind people up just for the sheer fun of it... regardless, its like they get a kick
and the more i can see it will turn off people from writing or participate in the forum.....
it feels as if the forum has become the domain of strong attitudes... and if they don't agree, then be damned.....

so, do you have any constructive comment on whether to "split" the forums in some way?
it has always been this way... and in the 4 and a bit years I have been here I don't think it is a problem with the way it is split presently......
do I think it is "broken".... no.... i think the problem is more to do with attitude!
it has more to do with the way that some people like to try and influence others by the way comments that they disagree with are dismissed.... condesending, belittling, downright rude and obnoxious..... and like i said, to see "some" people IMO get a kick out of it is worse still
i think you make a good point...but things are only condesending, belittling, downright rude and obnoxious when percieved that way..... maybe words are taken out of context... maybe people are ultra-sensitive etc etc.
i just think that presently there are very few firm guidelines. Yes the AUP exists.. but that doesnt mean to say that rules dont need to be ammended or that guidelines for best practice shouldnt be considered.
my point is that coming onto a thread and voicing our opinions of how we percieve another members actions doesnt help at all.
Can we question another’s opinion?
I think it is ok to do that!
I believe it is down to the way the question comes across.
The written form of talking is the hardest I believe you see it time after time here, that some people think what they say and others say what they think.
How we perceive others should be added to the AUP. To voice on the forums how we perceive another person in a negative way, is to me judging that person.
Who are we to judge anyone one by the written form?
Are we not all here to listen and keep an open mind?
Or are we here just to judge?
i think you are right in what you say.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Hibernian
The wonderful world of the unspoken word, devoid of physical emotion and open to interpretation, the way most things are received is down to the mood of the reader.

With ya hear Hib - but I do agree with what Minx said - I remember when I fist started reading forums - I worked an lived in a very pc world and some stuff written shocked me but it was how I interpreted it because of who I am and what I was about at that time.
I do feel that we forget that people are going through things in life and some topics affect them deeply - so they react or reply in a particular manner. Others perhaps play the devils advocate - sometimes that's fine - sometimes not appropriate.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by anais
The wonderful world of the unspoken word, devoid of physical emotion and open to interpretation, the way most things are received is down to the mood of the reader.

With ya hear Hib - but I do agree with what Minx said - I remember when I fist started reading forums - I worked an lived in a very pc world and some stuff written shocked me but it was how I interpreted it because of who I am and what I was about at that time.
I do feel that we forget that people are going through things in life and some topics affect them deeply - so they react or reply in a particular manner.
Others perhaps play the devils advocate - sometimes that's fine - sometimes not appropriate.
I totally agree some topics affect people, that is why I feel understanding of posters is paramount.
Some people play devils advocate, it is knowing when to apply this and when it is best to keep quiet.
We can learn from some people’s experiences, by listening.
If some find it amusing to pick these peoples opinions apart, then they will go, then who are we going to learn by?

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Theladyisaminx
The wonderful world of the unspoken word, devoid of physical emotion and open to interpretation, the way most things are received is down to the mood of the reader.

With ya hear Hib - but I do agree with what Minx said - I remember when I fist started reading forums - I worked an lived in a very pc world and some stuff written shocked me but it was how I interpreted it because of who I am and what I was about at that time.
I do feel that we forget that people are going through things in life and some topics affect them deeply - so they react or reply in a particular manner.
Others perhaps play the devils advocate - sometimes that's fine - sometimes not appropriate.
I totally agree some topics affect people, that is why I feel understanding of posters is paramount.
Some people play devils advocate, it is knowing when to apply this and when it is best to keep quiet.
We can learn from some people’s experiences, by listening.
If some find it amusing to pick these peoples opinions apart, then they will go, then who are we going to learn by?
Again, I totally agree with you Minx :smile:
I don't think anyone learns anything when a post is picked apart again and again - in fact I stop listening to what they have to say - even if it is interesting etc. Then, I start to see their posts as negative and destructive. So perhaps we can learn by this thread and think before we post? Be more constructive, positive and listen a little more instead of picking up on every last word and trying to enforce others to accept their point of view.
We all have different experiences and interests and could learn by others knowledge.
Heavens took me right back to barriers to learning/communication skills I used to train workers/young people in did this :lol2:

24 Sep 2008

Go back in time of this here forum :smile: It aint changed even from way back years before I joined. some of the people have for sure but the way it reads the spats the crappola its just the same as it always was. It's a dynamic forum and it should stay that way. Yes it does have its bullies and the like but they become known about and to be frank most know that as soon as they start then to leave it well alone. I think its a shame that more people don't use the forum in general but the ebb and flow of posters continues.
The place hasn't changed the style hasn't changed the arguements haven't either. If your noticing changes then its you who have changed. Maybe missing members long gone.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by anais
The wonderful world of the unspoken word, devoid of physical emotion and open to interpretation, the way most things are received is down to the mood of the reader.

With ya hear Hib - but I do agree with what Minx said - I remember when I fist started reading forums - I worked an lived in a very pc world and some stuff written shocked me but it was how I interpreted it because of who I am and what I was about at that time.
I do feel that we forget that people are going through things in life and some topics affect them deeply - so they react or reply in a particular manner.
Others perhaps play the devils advocate - sometimes that's fine - sometimes not appropriate.
I totally agree some topics affect people, that is why I feel understanding of posters is paramount.
Some people play devils advocate, it is knowing when to apply this and when it is best to keep quiet.
We can learn from some people’s experiences, by listening.
If some find it amusing to pick these peoples opinions apart, then they will go, then who are we going to learn by?
Again, I totally agree with you Minx :smile:
I don't think anyone learns anything when a post is picked apart again and again - in fact I stop listening to what they have to say - even if it is interesting etc. Then, I start to see their posts as negative and destructive. So perhaps we can learn by this thread and think before we post? Be more constructive, positive and listen a little more instead of picking up on every last word and trying to enforce others to accept their point of view.
We all have different experiences and interests and could learn by others knowledge.
Heavens took me right back to barriers to learning/communication skills I used to train workers/young people in did this:lol2:
Maybe you could take a few aside and teach them privately! :twisted: lol

24 Sep 2008

I have sat here for at least an hour wondering if I should bother to reply to this thread. And that itself refelects the situation I fear. I have been on site for over 4 years now, but the very nature in which people now take apart peoples threads and comments, makes me at the very least less likely to bother to make my views known. Anyone new on site looking at these i would think is way to scared to comment. You don't have to agree with what people say...and you should have every right to have your say..but please remember....manners cost nothing and politeness is a pleasure.
I hope we don't need to splinter the forums and we can have healthy debate but lets also adopt the moto
LIVE AND LET LIVE !!

24 Sep 2008

well said !!

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Lost

Go back in time of this here forum :smile: It aint changed even from way back years before I joined. some of the people have for sure but the way it reads the spats the crappola its just the same as it always was. It's a dynamic forum and it should stay that way. Yes it does have its bullies and the like but they become known about and to be frank most know that as soon as they start then to leave it well alone. I think its a shame that more people don't use the forum in general but the ebb and flow of posters continues.
The place hasn't changed the style hasn't changed the arguements haven't either. If your noticing changes then its you who have changed. Maybe missing members long gone.

In some respects I agree with you, in others I don't. The purpose and style of the forum hasn't changed that much, I do miss posters long gone true, but only from a nostalgic point of view.
I don't necessarily miss individuals as such but the lightheartedness of the forum, the inane silliness, the tarting and the absolute wonderment of where some people's sense of humour comes from.
Every now and again the forum reverts back to that, you can hear people laughing in the posts they write, joining in and adding to the joviality.
More often than not these days it can be a real chore to go through the forum, there are posts I avoid, there are others that I do want to put my PoV on but fear exactly what has happened on the other thread. Yes this has happened previously (I won't disagree) but it just seems so much more prevalent now!
We're here ultimately for sex and tbh give me "single males moaning", chants of "the search button is your friend", then the alpha male fights that seem to be happening just lately.
When old regulars are favouring other swinging forums and leaving then surely it's time to check the "health" of the forum?

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Calista

Go back in time of this here forum :smile: It aint changed even from way back years before I joined. some of the people have for sure but the way it reads the spats the crappola its just the same as it always was. It's a dynamic forum and it should stay that way. Yes it does have its bullies and the like but they become known about and to be frank most know that as soon as they start then to leave it well alone. I think its a shame that more people don't use the forum in general but the ebb and flow of posters continues.
The place hasn't changed the style hasn't changed the arguements haven't either. If your noticing changes then its you who have changed. Maybe missing members long gone.

In some respects I agree with you, in others I don't. The purpose and style of the forum hasn't changed that much, I do miss posters long gone true, but only from a nostalgic point of view.
I don't necessarily miss individuals as such but the lightheartedness of the forum, the inane silliness, the tarting and the absolute wonderment of where some people's sense of humour comes from.
Every now and again the forum reverts back to that, you can hear people laughing in the posts they write, joining in and adding to the joviality.
More often than not these days it can be a real chore to go through the forum, there are posts I avoid, there are others that I do want to put my PoV on but fear exactly what has happened on the other thread. Yes this has happened previously (I won't disagree) but it just seems so much more prevalent now!
We're here ultimately for sex and tbh give me "single males moaning", chants of "the search button is your friend", then the alpha male fights that seem to be happening just lately.
When old regulars are favouring other swinging forums and leaving then surely it's time to check the "health" of the forum?
I think you have good points in your post Calista and agree with most. The points i'd not disagree with but maybe just view differently are in specific order
I think ultimately we are here for the sex - When first joining SH i'd of agreed with you but on being here, for us at least, its more than that now :thumbup: At the start we thought it just a way to get your rocks off. We still think that but as well as not exclusively lol

As for older members on other sites confused

I am a member of these sites and post on them - they haven't got half the attraction of SH imho its all harping on about how sh has gone downhill since these members left. Has it? No it hasn't its great. the chats great the forums an acquired taste but great the amount of national coverage and options to meet are great. Look at the numbers joining these sites? not impressive. And lets face it SH's usability is second to none.
It seems to me that most of the time these sites especially one of them, live off the disenfranchised members of SH finding solace in a the arms of other disenfranchised members/ex-members.
Maybe as older members we get jaded because we do miss posters past.
I really do agree though with the bit about lightheartedness etc I think it is there in smaller doses maybe i really dont know. What you maybe right in saying is the fear of posting on one topic for fear of how another topic has gone - that does seem to be a bit of a trend lately.
Maybe at the risk of alienating myself one suggestion is that the mods and rockers use there discretion more liberally in preventing things going off track so far. Maybe the odd mail here and there etc. I think I can understand where your coming from though :thumbup:

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Hibernian
There are one or two posters on here that disect almost everything I say, so I justify/clarify one part, so they disect another, and on and on.
Just look at the ones that go to the bother of quoting a post line by line.

24 Sep 2008

Quote by flower411
Seems some people are proposing a new forum for political threads.
Try the Radio 4 forums :thumbup:
This is a swinging site and I think the cafe should be used for general chit chat and a bit of fun. Of course there will be serious threads but why would a swinging site want a whole forum dedicated to political/controversial threads ???
The mods have enough to do without having to police a whole new forum totally dedicated to poitics.
As I said, try the Radio 4 forums, they have loads of really good arguments if that`s what ya looking for.

i think the forum set is perfect the way it is,gives the chance to be more united....hmmm if there is a politics forum i can predict 9 out of 10 threads will locked

24 Sep 2008

Quote by Hibernian
75% of all statisics are made up.

i can see the vino is working just fine.. wink

24 Sep 2008

Politics is discussion. We have our own politics with each thread. So if a thread is actually about power/government politics it will be no different from any other thread. It will get hijacked, sidetracked and probably locked as much as anything else.
Some posters do have a good grasp of some events and aspects of history relating to politics, but I couldn't follow a complex debate about it.