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Terminology of "SH Social Gatherings"

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meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Quote by fabio grooverider
and haven't had many pull outs....

Oh my overactive mind rolleyes
bloody perves!!!!!!! smile :) :) :) :) do i have to proof read everything 3 times for obsure sexual innuendo....
just get yourself an innuendo theosaurus, if you can't afford it ask a friend to give you one wink
Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by cockslut
also there was a forum running last week seeking mentors for newbies, surely if these mentors have differing views, people will get differing views on what socials are etc. they may even scare them to death with supposedly unsafe gatherings they may never progress further along this path

(sorry, another tangent, but I wanted to answer this)
:dry: I think you'll find that people who are mentors on this scheme are ardent supporters of the social scene here on SH, and will actively encourage newbies to attend socials and Munches and to meet more folk face to face on a social basis - if that's what they express an interest in. More to the point, mentors should be able to give a definition of each if asked, and know that the information they're giving to people is accurate.
As far as I'm aware, mentors help newbies if the have specific questions or general guidance, and are there to help people find their feet and their way around the site. They do not give personal recommendations over which socials/ Munches to attend etc - and talking about 'unsafe gatherings' before they've even got past the first 'hello we're new' hurdle would be a pretty damn stupid thing to do when you're given such a position of responsibility by the Mods. Personally, I think once folk have found their feet here, with or without the support of a mentor they can make up their own minds about what is 'safe' and what isnt.
At least, they can if the definitions are clear and they know what to expect if they put their names down. banghead
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
Quote by Sharif
I think the emphasis of explaining as to what type of event and what to expect at that event should lay with the organiser, when they first post advertising the event in LMU. I assume this is what a good events organiser would do anyways. People can then decide if they want to attend based on the facts given. If the event posted goes against the ethos of the site, if the type of event or what to expect at the event is not explained then the powers that be can have a word with them on how to put it right.

You may have missed some of the argument (not surprising considering the twists of this thread)
The reason it was brought up was that it's becoming apparent here and in the chatroom that some events aren't clearly labelled and as there are no guidelines for socials apart from "do what you like apart from inviting banned members", you can't actually insist that the organiser does clarify it as there's nowhere to say they are obliged to.
Also as total “newbie’s” aren’t allowed to attend munch’s till they are a bit more well known they should not be allowed to organise a munch either.
Quote by Sharif
Also from what I can understand the only reason the term social’s started to appear is because people wanted to invite ex SH members who were not banned but who moved onto the splinter sites for what ever reason.

Not really. Social has historically been used for no play events other than a munch e.g. Bowling, BBQ, small group meeting in a pub.
It's just that the situation you mentioned is now in addition to all of the above adding to the confusion.
Sharif
Casanova
I don’t understand maybe it’s just me.
So there’s always been munch’s, there’s always been social’s, there’s always been the Forums, there’s always been the add section, there’s always been a chat room (although the nature of it has changed slightly). Ok there’s never been a unified login but that’s never stopped people like using all 3.
So why are people getting confused now? What’s different now?
Ok yes there are a lot more people here now but I’m sure they know what social means. When ever I’ve described a munch to someone I’ve said it’s a purely social event. What’s so hard about grasping the concept of a social event ? the description is in the name.
Unknown User
Quote by Sharif
I don’t understand maybe it’s just me.
Not at all. The best thing about opinions (imho) is that they differ.
So there’s always been munch’s, there’s always been social’s, there’s always been the Forums, there’s always been the add section, there’s always been a chat room (although the nature of it has changed slightly). Ok there’s never been a unified login but that’s never stopped people like using all 3.
I've always believed that (by and large) many people in the ads either weren't aware, or weren't interested in the forums. And, to a degree, vice versa. The unified log in - again, in my opinion, changed that. It sort of "presented" the one to the other.
So why are people getting confused now? What’s different now?
Possibly, and I mean possibly, because there is no yardstick. No guidelines. etc. Clearly, I discount the sticky in LMU.
Ok yes there are a lot more people here now but I’m sure they know what social means. When ever I’ve described a munch to someone I’ve said it’s a purely social event. What’s so hard about grasping the concept of a social event ? the description is in the name.
Obviously we're not discussing the dictionary definition of "social" - more a question of what people can, or should be able to expect the evening (whatever) to be. The whole evening.

Please cut me a little slack Sharif. I'm not having a dig at your post, just trying to answer you with my opinions as to why there could be a potential problem, if not with us now, then on the horizon.
I feel the need at the moment to choose my words and statements carefully.
markz
Sex God
so if I wanted a shag should I go to a munch or a social rolleyes
Sharif
Casanova
Quote by markz
so if I wanted a shag should I go to a munch or a social rolleyes

You might stand a better chance at your local night club smile
Sharif
Casanova
Quote by dambuster
Please cut me a little slack Sharif. I'm not having a dig at your post, just trying to answer you with my opinions as to why there could be a potential problem, if not with us now, then on the horizon.
I feel the need at the moment to choose my words and statements carefully.

It’s all good in the hood, just a friendly discussion amongst friend’s (all be it a very large group of friends). Likewise I’m not having a dig at you or anyone just expressing a view.
I have to disagree with on the unified login issue, simply based on my own experience. Yes having one login is easier but it’s not that difficult to setup the same login and password for all 3 (that’s what I did when I joined). Back then when I was in the chat room I saw people pasting links to their adds in there, In fact you were encouraged to have an add as you stood a better chance. I saw people in the chat room that were also using the forum and vice versa. So based on my experience I can’t say that people just restricted them self to one section but we will have to beg to differ on that one hay.
Like I said before I feel that is it should be down to the event organiser to manage the expectations and bill the event accordingly. Like it should be down to the organiser to ensure the security of the attendee’s while at the event.
I don’t believe in spoon feeding people, I believe in common sense…
If an organiser states that they are having a BBQ Social I expect there to be a BBQ.
If an organiser states that they are having a Bowling Social I expect there to Bowling.
If an organiser states that they are having a Pub Social I expect there to be a Pub.
If an organiser states that they are having a Birthday Social I expect someone to be having a Birthday.
If an organiser states that they are having a fuckfest I expect there to be a fuckfest, and so on and so forth.
But hay I’m a simple sole, I could be wrong smile
cockslut
Sex God
regarding name and shame, it was mentioned earlier re a hyperthetical social run by a newbie who may not fully understand the etiquette may allow people to disappear during the social for sex and someone may of drove 100's of miles to get there and only half the people left were there wouldn't be very happy, (understandably). surely if the list was full of continual known non showers we got the same scenario.
i think people who are against something are the people who may participate in that thing, as an example, fast drivers are against speed cameras, so don't drive fast, it is the law, (rule)
we all can have a problem that stops us from attending a meet / munch etc but like someone said earlier a cat may have 9 lifes but he can only die once.
Jas_Tim
Sex God
Quote by cockslut
regarding name and shame, it was mentioned earlier re a hyperthetical social run by a newbie who may not fully understand the etiquette may allow people to disappear during the social for sex and someone may of drove 100's of miles to get there and only half the people left were there wouldn't be very happy, (understandably). surely if the list was full of continual known non showers we got the same scenario.
I view them as entirely different things.
if people choose to leave a social for sex then there is nothing an organiser can do to stop it for a start.
The point being made was about the nature of the event.
If that is how the event had been set up then the organiser needs to make sure that everyone is aware of that, if it isn't how it was advertised then people may have travelled a long way for a meet that wasn't suitable for them.
It's about clarifying that bit in the terminology and the invite post that is important, not controlling others actions at the event.
i think people who are against something are the people who may participate in that thing, as an example, fast drivers are against speed cameras, so don't drive fast, it is the law, (rule)
we all can have a problem that stops us from attending a meet / munch etc but like someone said earlier a cat may have 9 lifes but he can only die once.
Well my understanding is that the mods and organisers hold lists of serial non attenders that other organisers can check against.
I have attended numerous munches and socials from this site. I've had to pull out of some as well.
That doesn't make me one of these regular non attendees but I still don't agree with naming and shaming on the forums. So I'll disagree with you here.
Equally if I've cancelled that is my business and that of the organiser.
Why does the forum need to be told that I was unable to make it unless I choose to tell them myself?.

One other point - would you as an organiser continually check posts from all the other events for non attenders or would it be a lot easier to ask regarding a central type list thingy?
Jas
XXX
cockslut
Sex God
well time is a contributing factor, so a central "thingy" would be easier, my point really was for some forum users to attend a social they may feel "safer" knowing who's attending the event,so they are reading the list of people who's attending, but my main point is a follow on from dambuster who wrote he (like any of us ) would be rightly annoyed if a lot of people had slipped away from the social for sex after travelling 30 miles or so and only half was left there, my point being if half of the people asking to come was continual non showers we have the same scenario,
ok point taken not everyone needs to know you had a !!!!!!!!!. just that the organiser is happy of your non attendance. and if people saw u didnt attend but had notified the organiser in advance wouldn't be too detrimental as the list of peeps who just didn't bother to show.
Unknown User
Quote by Sassy-Seren
What can I call my 'girly night in' then? A Munchette maybe? :giggle:

How about a Minge Munch? :confused:
bolt
:giggle:
mr__powers1
Sex God
I'm having a blonde moment here.......but how did this all start..(The Munch Terminology explains it all.)....i've been using this site for nearly two years and have been to a few munches and socials in that time ,in fact there really is no difference in them at all....with no problem to rules so what seems to have changed to drag this all up again......because in my opinion if it can't be sorted....munches and socials could become a thing of the past.
A Munch is purely a social event!.....,thats the first line used in the Munch Terminolgy ,which must mean a Social is also the same!......how difficult is that!
Unknown User
Quote by winchwench
What can I call my 'girly night in' then? A Munchette maybe? :giggle:

How about a Minge Munch? :confused:
bolt
:giggle:
Euuuuwwwww !!!!! smackbottom
cockslut
Sex God
Quote by da69ve
I'm having a blonde moment here.......but how did this all start..(The Munch Terminology explains it all.)....i've been using this site for nearly two years and have been to a few munches and socials in that time ,in fact there really is no difference in them at all....with no problem to rules so what seems to have changed to drag this all up again......because in my opinion if it can't be sorted....munches and socials could become a thing of the past.
A Munch is purely a social event!.....,thats the first line used in the Munch Terminolgy ,which must mean a Social is also the same!......how difficult is that!

coudn't agree more dave, it's just a few peeps worrying about newbies arranging socials, because theres little or no rules written about a social on here, but surely common sense prevails when attending any because theres an increasing number of socials being arranged in the chatroom there not sure they will be handled correctly, they want to see clear written rules not guidelines from the owners.
we've visited numerous swingers sites in last five years and can't really see it would work if diferent swingers sites had diferent ideas of events like ,meet social, munch etc, surely swingers etiquette should be the same no matter where you visit it would get confusing.
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
Quote by da69ve
I'm having a blonde moment here.......but how did this all start..(The Munch Terminology explains it all.)....i've been using this site for nearly two years and have been to a few munches and socials in that time ,in fact there really is no difference in them at all....with no problem to rules so what seems to have changed to drag this all up again......because in my opinion if it can't be sorted....munches and socials could become a thing of the past.
A Munch is purely a social event!.....,thats the first line used in the Munch Terminolgy ,which must mean a Social is also the same!......how difficult is that!

Da69ve
I'm guessing you haven't read the majority of this thread.
Yes there is terminology for a munch, but a social can be more or less anything.
The issue is that people who don't know are confused between when it's a play or no play meet
Unknown User
Quote by Sharif
I don’t believe in spoon feeding people, I believe in common sense…
If an organiser states that they are having a BBQ Social I expect there to be a BBQ.
If an organiser states that they are having a Bowling Social I expect there to Bowling.
If an organiser states that they are having a Pub Social I expect there to be a Pub.
If an organiser states that they are having a Birthday Social I expect someone to be having a Birthday.
If an organiser states that they are having a fuckfest I expect there to be a fuckfest, and so on and so forth.

My point/problem is if someone lists a pub social and most people think it's the (up until now) "normal/usual" dozen or so people sat round a table in a pub having a few beers, laff and a giggle type thing, but in reality it's a quick pint then off to someone's house for a fuck-fest.
I don't have a problem with that - if I know the planned format. But to simply post in LMU that "we're having a social in a Chesterfield pub" when it's just the pint before the fuck-fest is, imo, confusing and wrong; almost to the point of being misleading.
Quote by cockslut
. . . . . . re a hyperthetical social run by a newbie who may not fully understand the etiquette may allow people to disappear during the social for sex and someone may of drove 100's of miles to get there and only half the people left were there wouldn't be very happy, (understandably).

I can't find it at the moment, but I hopefully I said something like "everybody left the pub for sex" It wasn't about the organiser "allowing" that, I was more concerned about being part of the planned evening.
People leaving early can sometimes just be bad manners. I've seen it happen at a full Munch, where possibly nearly half the attendees left the Munch very early to go to a club. Very bad manners - in my opinion.
Quote by cockslut
coudn't agree more dave, it's just a few peeps worrying about newbies arranging socials, because theres little or no rules written about a social on here, but surely common sense prevails when attending any because theres an increasing number of socials being arranged in the chatroom there not sure they will be handled correctly, they want to see clear written rules not guidelines from the owners.

I wasn't exactly sure what it was that I was asking for when I started the thread last week. Having read it all, discussed it in PM and on the phone and in person, I now realise what it is. I'm not asking for rigid rules/guidelines; but I do think a "definition" should be written and included in the Terminology Section that tells people, and reassures them, what is taken for granted when someone lists a "Social" in LMU.
Unknown User
Wow 12 pages in one week. I've tried to read as much of this as i can since i returned and apart from the first 3 pages which i posted the text all becomes a blur lol
But this is what i understand sofar.
A munch is an official SH social event with no play.
A social is a non official event which can or can not involve play depending on who,s involved.
So the best thing to do would be to make certain on the criteria for the social before committing to attending.
Hope i got the jist of things and not going over whats been said.
Unknown User
Quote by goose35
Hope i got the jist of things . . . . . .

Mostly. Apart from this bit . . .
Quote by goose35
A social is a non official event which can or can not involve play depending on who,s involved.

. . . . . In my mind, that's where the confusion and possible "dangers" are.
Quote by goose35
So the best thing to do would be to make certain on the criteria for the social before committing to attending.

I think it would be better/easier if there was an easy point of permanent reference, rather than needing to ask the same or similar questions, and people having to give the same or similar answers over and over again in their own words.
As an example - (and these are open questions, not specifically directed at goose)
When someone first lists a Munch, how necessary is it for potential guests to ask about the format of the evening ?
AND
How straight forward and clearis it to answer, by referring the questions back to the Munch Terminology ?
Unknown User
Quote by dambuster
I think it would be better/easier if there was an easy point of permanent reference, rather than needing to ask the same or similar questions, and people having to give the same or similar answers over and over again in their own words.
As an example - (and these are open questions, not specifically directed at goose)
When someone first lists a Munch, how necessary is it for potential guests to ask about the format of the evening ?
AND
How straight forward and clear is it to answer, by referring the questions back to the Munch Terminology ?

Agreed
Untill then the status quo remains. The munches and the rest. The confusion remains and all any first timer can do is ask or take pot luck on going the social route which in my case may be ok (touch wood) as i consider myself thorough in checking.
mr__powers1
Sex God
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
I'm having a blonde moment here.......but how did this all start..(The Munch Terminology explains it all.)....i've been using this site for nearly two years and have been to a few munches and socials in that time ,in fact there really is no difference in them at all....with no problem to rules so what seems to have changed to drag this all up again......because in my opinion if it can't be sorted....munches and socials could become a thing of the past.
A Munch is purely a social event!.....,thats the first line used in the Munch Terminolgy ,which must mean a Social is also the same!......how difficult is that!

Da69ve
I'm guessing you haven't read the majority of this thread.
Yes there is terminology for a munch, but a social can be more or less anything.
The issue is that people who don't know are confused between when it's a play or no play meet
I did start to read it......starting with Dambusters of course.....but it kind of went off the tracks for a while......i didn't want to get involve in that.....but to be honest munch,mini munch or social they're all the same.....what would be more confusing would be be have rules for each......because as far as i can see they are all no pressure gatherings of likeminded people into the same thing,with no play involved what so ever (as most of these events take place in general public places anyway).....unless of course you have organised an afters party in a NON vanilla place which would be attended by people at the organisers discretion......but that would be set up in a separate thread of course
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
Da69ve
I think you're thinking of the large socials that are run similar to munches, which is more obvious all though there was this:
Here's the first 2 posts from another "Social" organised in Let's Meet Up:
hiya peeps, we're having our 4th social meet 29th april at 8pm, please mail for venue or catch us online for an invite, please though only apply if your local to the area. singles / couples made very if you can't make it that night please don't fill our mailbox with questions etc, and we have a strict policy if you say your going to cum and don't you won't get another oppurtunity.

As a single guy,I have been to the previous 3 socials,and can vouch that *** and *** are the top gals in have a few beers,a great laugh, and maybe some naughtiness to end the night,should we get an inside are often in the chatroom,and from that you can all see how friendly we are,and horny to would like to say more couples though,pref with a bi-fem cus our gals do get a bit this is your first time at swinging,drop the gals a line,we will all put on the 29th

In addition to the thread there was an ad placed in the "seeking men" photo ads for more guys for this social.
Now think of all the "Socials" that are being arranged in the chatrooms, where there's no constant record of what's been said as there is in the forum.
Now add in if the event is labelled "Social BBQ" at someone's house. What would you view that as?
mr__powers1
Sex God
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Da69ve
I think you're thinking of the large socials that are run similar to munches, which is more obvious all though there was this:
Here's the first 2 posts from another "Social" organised in Let's Meet Up:
hiya peeps, we're having our 4th social meet 29th april at 8pm, please mail for venue or catch us online for an invite, please though only apply if your local to the area. singles / couples made very if you can't make it that night please don't fill our mailbox with questions etc, and we have a strict policy if you say your going to cum and don't you won't get another oppurtunity.

As a single guy,I have been to the previous 3 socials,and can vouch that *** and *** are the top gals in have a few beers,a great laugh, and maybe some naughtiness to end the night,should we get an inside are often in the chatroom,and from that you can all see how friendly we are,and horny to would like to say more couples though,pref with a bi-fem cus our gals do get a bit this is your first time at swinging,drop the gals a line,we will all put on the 29th

In addition to the thread there was an ad placed in the "seeking men" photo ads for more guys for this social.
Now think of all the "Socials" that are being arranged in the chatrooms, where there's no constant record of what's been said as there is in the forum.
Now add in if the event is labelled "Social BBQ" at someone's house. What would you view that as?
Perhaps a whole new word should be used for such events.....as i believe "Social".....is the wrong wording.
Unknown User
Quote by da69ve
Perhaps a whole new word should be used for such events.....as i believe "Social".....is the wrong wording.

Hence the thread, dave.
Perhaps it's time for some permanent, easy to refer to, guidelines/definitions.
mr__powers1
Sex God
Quote by dambuster

Perhaps a whole new word should be used for such events.....as i believe "Social".....is the wrong wording.

Hence the thread, dave.
Perhaps it's time for some permanent, easy to refer to, guidelines/definitions.
I told you i was having a Blonde moment! wink
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
Quote by da69ve

Perhaps a whole new word should be used for such events.....as i believe "Social".....is the wrong wording.

Hence the thread, dave.

I told you i was having a Blonde moment! wink
I have a very nice blonde wig if you'd like to borrow it :giggle:
mr__powers1
Sex God
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde

Perhaps a whole new word should be used for such events.....as i believe "Social".....is the wrong wording.

Hence the thread, dave.

I told you i was having a Blonde moment! wink
I have a very nice blonde wig if you'd like to borrow it :giggle:
Go on then......Hell lets go the whole hog.......how about tarty short dress and a pair of black stillitoes as well lol
cockslut
Sex God
your still reading that advert wrongly guys, the ad was to increase the amount of people attending our socials. which are meets at a vanilla pub where likeminded peeps can meet in a safe environment, it was only open to s.h. members (which is more strict than say) . it's in a bloody vanilla pub so nothing untoward happens there.
it is for s.h. members only either couples or singles,we see socials as safe venues to meet likeminded people and asses if you wanna meet up again at a later date, rather than driving miles to meet 1 person and you dont get on. in a group if you dont gell with 1 person they not left out in the cold they can converse with someone else and likewise,
regarding the quote added above all the guy was trying to say is its a genuine social with genuine people there, ok so some may of got on that well they decided to follow on after closing time (which means social over), which is there perogative, if you read the miunch stle rules again it states there its ok to go to a meet after a munch after all thats what there there for, so if its good enough for a munch why not for a social, theres nothing new in that.
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
Quote by cockslut
your still reading that advert wrongly guys,

Cockslut I know we've discussed this and I do understand where you're coming from. I just highlighted this to give Da69ve and example of some of the things that confuse people.
The fact that people did initially read it wrong shows that there is confusion.