I am sick to death of logging onto this site and finding myself AMUSED.
Why should I put up with an entertaining site? It's always the bloody same!!!
The people on here seem to think that it's okay to form friendships, relationships, SWINGING SCENARIOS and the like. Bloody disgraceful I call it.
Why should I be subjected to threads that make me LAUGH OUT LOUD !!!! I blame people like FRED, SARGE, WILL , DAVEJ and the rest of you loonies.
Well, I for one have had enough and have decided that I am f*cking well NOT LEAVING!!!
So, there..
Regards
Paul
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That's it - I've bloody well had enough of this place..
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There's always one - and it's always him!!! 
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Mal
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You don't leave if you must!!
Mal
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Sex God
You selfish sod Fun365. What right have you got to come on here and just enjoy yourself , why you dont even offer an apology for sitting there with a smile on your face as you read threads and make posts. You offer no signs of remorse or guilt for your enjoyment.
Why me and mrs davej have a policy of slamming our fingers in the desk draw if we so much as smile at a post or thread as a penance, God forbid that we should actully chuckle out load because this means that the second knuckle on our index fingers has to be crushed in the nut crackers. I even posted a reply once that was deemed amusing, that resulted in having to yank out my own toe nails to repent the sins of fun and laughter.
So stop enjoying yourself NOW !!
Why me and mrs davej have a policy of slamming our fingers in the desk draw if we so much as smile at a post or thread as a penance, God forbid that we should actully chuckle out load because this means that the second knuckle on our index fingers has to be crushed in the nut crackers. I even posted a reply once that was deemed amusing, that resulted in having to yank out my own toe nails to repent the sins of fun and laughter.
So stop enjoying yourself NOW !!
Quote by davej
You selfish sod Fun365. What right have you got to come on here and just enjoy yourself , why you dont even offer an apology for sitting there with a smile on your face as you read threads and make posts. You offer no signs of remorse or guilt for your enjoyment.
Why me and mrs davej have a policy of slamming our fingers in the desk draw if we so much as smile at a post or thread as a penance, God forbid that we should actully chuckle out load because this means that the second knuckle on our index fingers has to be crushed in the nut crackers. I even posted a reply once that was deemed amusing, that resulted in having to yank out my own toe nails to repent the sins of fun and laughter.
So stop enjoying yourself NOW !!
Hmmm... I do take your point Dave. I suppose I had not realised that I was being selfish
I actually started to laugh at your post and then of course realised that you were not trying to be funny...
Now I don't have drawers on my desk so could not use them as an aid to self punishment. Always good at improvising I noticed a heavy torch on my desk. So, I laid my todger (aka The Beast) on my desk and administered several blows to it with the torch. Whilst this turned out to be incredibly painful, I do feel much better. Plus, I can tell you that I finally saw the light.
Regards
Paul
Sex God
Ah good man Paul you started to chuckle, realised that this was classified as fun and mashed yer monkey with a maglite. You see it is easy to start down the road of being a miserable git, just keep practicing the scowl in the mirror, punish yourself if anything gets too light hearted and before you know it we can have you grow a chip on your shoulder.
You B*rst*rds!!!! 
:x :x :x
So, you think it's funny being funny do you??? Well it's not big and it's not clever. How dare you insult the good folk of SH by coming on here being funny. If I wanted to spend my time laughing I would have joined Joking Heaven!!
:roll: :roll:
I must admit, three weeks ago last Friday I openly chortled, but then realised what I was doing. I have now wired my chair to the mains and have fitted sensors to my face. In the unlikely event that I should forget myself and dare to smile, the sensors will pick it up and blast my chair with 240 volts for 15 seconds. This, I find, helps me to concentrate on the job in hand without being distracted by humour!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
:x :x :x So, you think it's funny being funny do you??? Well it's not big and it's not clever. How dare you insult the good folk of SH by coming on here being funny. If I wanted to spend my time laughing I would have joined Joking Heaven!!
:roll: :roll: I must admit, three weeks ago last Friday I openly chortled, but then realised what I was doing. I have now wired my chair to the mains and have fitted sensors to my face. In the unlikely event that I should forget myself and dare to smile, the sensors will pick it up and blast my chair with 240 volts for 15 seconds. This, I find, helps me to concentrate on the job in hand without being distracted by humour!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
For the attention of Fun365, Davej and Sgt Bilko.
Gentlemen, despite your protestations I still detect overtones of sinful levity in your posts. You really are not taking this seriously enough. Todger whacking and flinger slamming are but fleeting little incidents and they don't stop you smiling, now do they? Davej intimated as much in his post that he had to repeatedly punish himself.
In my latest incarnation with the jackboots, leather basque and whip, I feel I should be the one to chastise you unmercifully for your propensities to giggle, smirk and chortle. I have no doubt that several of the ladies of this forum take a similarly dim view and will lend a hand, literally, in bringing you all to a state of puritan grace.
Line up gentlemen and take your punishment. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sappho the Merciless xxx
Gentlemen, despite your protestations I still detect overtones of sinful levity in your posts. You really are not taking this seriously enough. Todger whacking and flinger slamming are but fleeting little incidents and they don't stop you smiling, now do they? Davej intimated as much in his post that he had to repeatedly punish himself.
In my latest incarnation with the jackboots, leather basque and whip, I feel I should be the one to chastise you unmercifully for your propensities to giggle, smirk and chortle. I have no doubt that several of the ladies of this forum take a similarly dim view and will lend a hand, literally, in bringing you all to a state of puritan grace.
Line up gentlemen and take your punishment. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sappho the Merciless xxx
Sex God
Ah penance indeed, Would have preffered that you also sit there with your feet in a bucket of water at the same time but none the less a good start.
I very nearly cracked a smile at your post but remembering that this type of behaviour is to be discouraged, I figured that stapling my scrotum to our bread board would make amends for such a wicked thought. This has punished me in two ways as not only have I endured the pain that comes with such an act but the cheeese and onion sandwich that mrs davej was promising for lunch is no longer an option.
I very nearly cracked a smile at your post but remembering that this type of behaviour is to be discouraged, I figured that stapling my scrotum to our bread board would make amends for such a wicked thought. This has punished me in two ways as not only have I endured the pain that comes with such an act but the cheeese and onion sandwich that mrs davej was promising for lunch is no longer an option.
Sex God
Sappho I can only plead GUILTY AS CHARGED !! You are correct that there has been an air of brevity and light heartedness in my posts which deserve to be punished most severely although it is my contention that I have been taking penance enough for enjoying the site.
I would just like to point out that prior to any postings, (this can be checked by looking at joining and posting dates) I followed every bit of advice from the regular posters on here and watched and learned from them and what did I learn? that humour and fun was desirable and that misery was not, therefore I attempted to post on the light hearted side as per my peers. it is my contention that I was given bad guidance and advice from more senior members, this I liken to being given poor pension advice and therefore assume that whilst being thrashed I will at least be eligable for compensation.
I would just like to point out that prior to any postings, (this can be checked by looking at joining and posting dates) I followed every bit of advice from the regular posters on here and watched and learned from them and what did I learn? that humour and fun was desirable and that misery was not, therefore I attempted to post on the light hearted side as per my peers. it is my contention that I was given bad guidance and advice from more senior members, this I liken to being given poor pension advice and therefore assume that whilst being thrashed I will at least be eligable for compensation.
Quote by Sappho
For the attention of Fun365, Davej and Sgt Bilko.
Gentlemen, despite your protestations I still detect overtones of sinful levity in your posts. You really are not taking this seriously enough. Todger whacking and flinger slamming are but fleeting little incidents and they don't stop you smiling, now do they? Davej intimated as much in his post that he had to repeatedly punish himself.
In my latest incarnation with the jackboots, leather basque and whip, I feel I should be the one to chastise you unmercifully for your propensities to giggle, smirk and chortle. I have no doubt that several of the ladies of this forum take a similarly dim view and will lend a hand, literally, in bringing you all to a state of puritan grace.
Line up gentlemen and take your punishment. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sappho the Merciless xxx
Dear Mistress Sappho;
May I thankyou for your kind offer to punish us all. I feel that at this time I must decline the said offer as Carolyn has intimated to me that if I batter my Todger with a torch again she will ' rip my balls off'. She has said that any punishment will be dished out by her.
My humble apologies
Paul
Warming the Bed
Well it certainly gave me a laugh.. :cry:
:cry: 