Sometimes it is difficult to explain how you feel about people you have met, mixing the right balance of diplomacy and honesty can become uncomfortable at times. But sometimes we want to explain clearly how the land lies, in a way the recipient/s will understand.
If you have ever found yourself in a position where you wanted to get a clear message across, where you wanted to say more than just “piss off†but avoided tackling the issue – this could be the answer for you………
The Swinging Heaven Analogy Directory
The Spray Job
You are a bit like a quick spray job on a crap car: It is easy to be fooled initially by a spray job, all shiny and polished. But the new owner soon realises it is just a thin layer covering a pile of unreliable rust and filler.
The Fast Food Menu
You’re a bit like the menu they have on display in the burger bar: The photos always look good but what you actually get looks fuck-all like it.
The Holiday Brochure
You are a bit like a dodgy holiday brochure: The hotels looked fantastic, but they have been using the same photos for the last 20 years.
The Wonder Slimming Pill
You are a bit like an advert for a wonder slimming pill. You sounded so convincing saying all the right things, telling us what we want to hear. But when put to the test, it doesn’t take long to reveal that the avert was talking bollocks and does none of the things it said.
Tartan Paint
You are a bit like the tin of tartan paint: The only way I would advise someone to go and look for you would be for a joke.
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The Analogy Directory
A Badly Written , Over Promoted Book
I keep turning the pages in the hope that I will find something gripping to get my teeth into but with every chapter I am regretting spending my money on it. When I reach the end I am filled with both dissatisfaction, and relief that it is over. And I WON'T be recommending that author to my friends.
Polo - shall we just keep this thread to ourselves???
I keep turning the pages in the hope that I will find something gripping to get my teeth into but with every chapter I am regretting spending my money on it. When I reach the end I am filled with both dissatisfaction, and relief that it is over. And I WON'T be recommending that author to my friends.
Polo - shall we just keep this thread to ourselves???
Sex God
Packet of crisps
You look at the lovely rounded packet and think it's brimming to the top with tasty filling only to find when you open it, the content is half what you thought it would be. Leaves you feeling a little bit hungry for more and a wee bit conned.
You look at the lovely rounded packet and think it's brimming to the top with tasty filling only to find when you open it, the content is half what you thought it would be. Leaves you feeling a little bit hungry for more and a wee bit conned.
Casanova
Turkey Twizzler
Full of shit with no meat worth talking about
Barney The Dinosaur
Talentless, money grabbing, big pink bastard (but good with kids)
Full of shit with no meat worth talking about
Barney The Dinosaur
Talentless, money grabbing, big pink bastard (but good with kids)
Casanova
Red wine and Chocolate
You are like red wine and chocolate....perfect
guess what I am eating and drinking
You are like red wine and chocolate....perfect
guess what I am eating and drinking
Casanova
The Sticky Bun
You are like a sticky bun, dont last long enough and I always end up with cream on my face
You are like a sticky bun, dont last long enough and I always end up with cream on my face
