The Buzz, Boundaries and Boredom.

24 Feb 2007

Disclaimer- Winchwench is attemping to start a thought provoking thread. Hard hats, high vis jackets and steel toe caps are advised beyond this point! lol

When many people start to swing, they have a clear set of likes, dislikes, and boundaries to which they adhere. As your experience has grown, and fantasies have been "ticked off" the list have you moved the goalposts? Do you find that you are seeking new and different things in order to maintain "The Buzz?" Or is the act of swapping partners enough to keep you excited?
I have a vanilla friend who, whilst single, was very into cruising & cottaging etc. He has now been with his partner for almost a year, and was telling me that they have gone from being absolutely not into W/S, to giving it a go & quite liking it. The motivation for experimenting & moving the boundaries was borderline boredom.
I'm going to quit the waffle, and hope that you can find an interesting talking point in there somewhere. I knew what I wanted to post- an hour ago- but then got distracted by instant messaging & lost focus confused

In short, I suppose, have you evolved?

24 Feb 2007

I dont think boredom has caused us to evolve but evolve we have..
Our likes and dislikes and wishes and wants have changed beyond recognition from what they were when we first started...

24 Feb 2007

Boundaries change. Wish I had started this swinging years ago but was too much of a prude. redface

Had the opportunity of an mmf with a boyfriend and his mate when i was about 26 and was horrified he had suggested it. What a fool i was.....
Now of course I would jump at the chance biggrin

24 Feb 2007

I agree with Mallock. I don't think it's boredom as we generally think of it, I think it's more like being an explorer and not wanting to be content with where you are, but wanting to have new experiences and fun. It's being comfortable enough to say "I've tried that and I don't like it, but that looks very fun. Gimme a go biggrin

"
When we start to mix with people with the same ideas then the way we think. Put us in a situation where our ideas can become reality and we'll probably go for it.
I think it can take some people longer than others to embrace this kind of thinking though.
Maybe we're all morally corrupted, but morals are a socially defined notion, so if the group we socialise in has a certain type of moral value then we'll probably adopt it.
I know for myself and Countess, my choice to join this site (I had absolutely no interest in swinging, dogging etc) has opened a doorway that would have normally been ignored by us. Only now are we tentatively shoving our heads through it.
If you had asked for a snog at our first Munch, we'd have said no way, but now we regularly snog an expanding group of friends at them and enjoy it.
As for whether we'll take the next step, I guess time will tell, but it'll take an extremely special person or couple for us to think about that next step. Then again who knows what's around that next corner or what the next few months will bring.
We said no to snogging at first FFS! lol

Never say never.

24 Feb 2007

Oh boy have our boundaries changed and it has nothing to do with boredom.
It is very much to do with building onto what we already have to other areas that we both feel comfortable with. It has just kind of happened and expanded naturally, not forced confused

No idea where it is going or what will happen, we just accept what develops while we are both enjoying ourselves :?

24 Feb 2007

Good thread! :thumbup:
Again, I agree that it's not boredom that motivates me to evolve... it's mostly my imagination being fueled by things I read around here or conversations I have with people I meet along the way.
In the last six months I've surprised myself on more than one occasion while I've been pushing my boundaries and exploring the kinks and perversions that I've found as I fumble along in my little world, dragging things in and spitting them out as appropriate.
Even saying things out loud that I would never have mentioned before is quite liberating, especially when you find someone who likes the same thing, no matter how strange I thought it was. That's ace! smile

Long may I have boundaries to push! :twisted:

24 Feb 2007

My whole life is evolving and always has been. Swinging is just the latest thing to try and possibly keep doing. Its already helped improve my confidence as ive been painfully shy for most of my life and wouldnt get naked never mind have sex naked in public
Its even starting to make me reconsider relationships with men and im so glad i am biggrin

24 Feb 2007

I'm not suggesting that boredom is a major factor- although I'm sure that the need to rekindle a spark motivates many people to explore.
It's interesting to see that most people who have posted have seen their sex lives evolve, I'm now curious if there's anyone out there who has not moved the goalposts at all!
Easy's post makes a lot of sense to me!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 12:37 pm Post subject:
I agree with Mallock. I don't think it's boredom as we generally think of it, I think it's more like being an explorer and not wanting to be content with where you are, but wanting to have new experiences and fun. It's being comfortable enough to say "I've tried that and I don't like it, but that looks very fun. Gimme a go icon_ "

24 Feb 2007

Well we're still newbies compared to some, but after just over a year and a few experiences our boundaries hav'nt changed at all. Actually maybe they have just a little, perhaps two ladies instead of one innocent

24 Feb 2007

Quote by firelizard
Well we're still newbies compared to some, but after just over a year and a few experiences our boundaries hav'nt changed at all. Actually maybe they have just a little, perhaps two ladies instead of one

Tart!
(put me down, please!)

24 Feb 2007

Quote by firelizard
Well we're still newbies compared to some, but after just over a year and a few experiences our boundaries hav'nt changed at all. Actually maybe they have just a little, perhaps two ladies instead of one

Greedy :giggle:
louise xx

24 Feb 2007

Quote by winchwench
Well we're still newbies compared to some, but after just over a year and a few experiences our boundaries hav'nt changed at all. Actually maybe they have just a little, perhaps two ladies instead of one

Tart!
(put me down, please!)
Ok :notes:
Who's next???

24 Feb 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
Well we're still newbies compared to some, but after just over a year and a few experiences our boundaries hav'nt changed at all. Actually maybe they have just a little, perhaps two ladies instead of one

Greedy :giggle:
louise xx
Variety is the spice of life cool