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The Confidential Confessional. No-one turned away!
Makes mental note to stay on the right side of Darkfire.... god I love the way your mind works!!!!
Once made a chilli using fresh chillis and got called away from domestic goddess duties to bedroom duties... forgot to wash my hands thoroughly... can't think why he wasn't impressed with me LMAO
Once made a chilli using fresh chillis and got called away from domestic goddess duties to bedroom duties... forgot to wash my hands thoroughly... can't think why he wasn't impressed with me LMAO
Several years ago I had a really horrible boyfriend with a can't work/won't work attitude. By the time I was wise to what a lazy flucker he was I was already living with him with my parents standing guarentor (note to Martin & Co - spellcheck facility on posting would be good) on the flat. So basically, if I moved out be would stay there, not pay any bills/rent out of spite and I would have to foot the bill - not good.
I managed to persuade him that due to my parents being ill, they could no longer have the worry of the guarentee hanging over them, so we would have to hand our notice in and move else where. I also told him that due to a spate of murders and attacks in the area that we could afford to rent I would stay with my grandmother until a flat in a nicer area became free. However due to a mix-up with BT my grandmothers phone had been cut off and I would be uncontactable. - He bought all this hook line and sinker.
When it came to packing up the flat he was in "agony with a bad back" (lazyitis to you and me), so muggins here had to do all the packing. No problem, I packed anything of any value in boxes with my name on and sealed them. I packed one fork, one knife, one spoon, one plate, one cup and one bowl with lots of really heavy junk into several boxes with his name on.
On the day of the move we moved all his things into a flat he was renting "temporarily" until we got another one together *cough*. I then moved all my things into the lovely council flat that i had secured on my own. Never to be seen again.
Well not until I bumped into him four years later - where he proceeded to tell me how much he still loved me and how he missed me - MUG!
I managed to persuade him that due to my parents being ill, they could no longer have the worry of the guarentee hanging over them, so we would have to hand our notice in and move else where. I also told him that due to a spate of murders and attacks in the area that we could afford to rent I would stay with my grandmother until a flat in a nicer area became free. However due to a mix-up with BT my grandmothers phone had been cut off and I would be uncontactable. - He bought all this hook line and sinker.
When it came to packing up the flat he was in "agony with a bad back" (lazyitis to you and me), so muggins here had to do all the packing. No problem, I packed anything of any value in boxes with my name on and sealed them. I packed one fork, one knife, one spoon, one plate, one cup and one bowl with lots of really heavy junk into several boxes with his name on.
On the day of the move we moved all his things into a flat he was renting "temporarily" until we got another one together *cough*. I then moved all my things into the lovely council flat that i had secured on my own. Never to be seen again.
Well not until I bumped into him four years later - where he proceeded to tell me how much he still loved me and how he missed me - MUG!
Quote by Darkfire
:evil2: have i ever told you the story about Olbas Oil? :twisted:
no but please do
Ok, again many moons ago, I had this god damn reoccurring bout of thrush, drove me insane until I discovered natural yoghurt and the joys of alternative usage.
Anyway.... twat number....3 I think it was... had absolutely no sympathy for this predicament, and found my constantly irritated state highly amusing. This, of course, I was not particularly impressed with, so in order that he could at least empathise with me, i dripped a couple of drops of neat Olbas Oil onto his bell end in the night.
Simple but effective. :twisted:
many moons ago b4 i met paul my partner that was then used to shag about behind my back, anyone i found out about this, as we women do :wink: (no not turning this into a cheating post just had to be said as its part of the story
) Anyway i decided not to let on str8 away that i knew and though it best to keep it to myself till i though of something to do to pay him back, woman scorned n all that :lol: then i idea hit me like a bolt of lightening......it was summer at the time and he worked on a building site...and what do hard grafting workers do in the summer? sweat and plenty of it :wink: so the night b4 i soaked his underpants in neat bleach and put them on the radiator to dry :wink: :wink:
Quote by naughtynymphos1
many moons ago b4 i met paul my partner that was then used to shag about behind my back, anyone i found out about this, as we women do
Anyway i decided not to let on str8 away that i knew and though it best to keep it to myself till i though of something to do to pay him back, woman scorned n all that :lol: then i idea hit me like a bolt of lightening......it was summer at the time and he worked on a building site...and what do hard grafting workers do in the summer? sweat and plenty of it :wink: so the night b4 i soaked his underpants in neat bleach and put them on the radiator to dry :wink: :wink:
:rotflmao: stop it NN cos we're really ruining our chances of getting a shag now !!
Quote by Darkfire
many moons ago b4 i met paul my partner that was then used to shag about behind my back, anyone i found out about this, as we women do
Anyway i decided not to let on str8 away that i knew and though it best to keep it to myself till i though of something to do to pay him back, woman scorned n all that :lol: then i idea hit me like a bolt of lightening......it was summer at the time and he worked on a building site...and what do hard grafting workers do in the summer? sweat and plenty of it :wink: so the night b4 i soaked his underpants in neat bleach and put them on the radiator to dry :wink: :wink:
:rotflmao: stop it NN cos we're really ruining our chances of getting a shag now !!
tell you what tho it was months b4 he got another shag, have you ever seen what sweaty bleached undies does to a guys bollox :lol:
Quote by naughtynymphos1
many moons ago b4 i met paul my partner that was then used to shag about behind my back, anyone i found out about this, as we women do
Anyway i decided not to let on str8 away that i knew and though it best to keep it to myself till i though of something to do to pay him back, woman scorned n all that :lol: then i idea hit me like a bolt of lightening......it was summer at the time and he worked on a building site...and what do hard grafting workers do in the summer? sweat and plenty of it :wink: so the night b4 i soaked his underpants in neat bleach and put them on the radiator to dry :wink: :wink:
:rotflmao: stop it NN cos we're really ruining our chances of getting a shag now !!
tell you what tho it was months b4 he got another shag, have you ever seen what sweaty bleached undies does to a guys bollox :lol:
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :rotflmao:
just read the phobias thread which just reminded me of something else i have to get off my chest 
firstly i must say sorry if you or any of your familly used to sit on the benches around weymouth harbour (below the nothe)
yes it was me & a few mates who used to go up to the nothe stand on the edge of the cliff when people were eating there sandwiches & drinking flasks of tea at the bottom of the cliff
nothing wrong with that i hear you say :twisted:
& nothing wrong with liking seagulls :twisted: :twisted:
but when you throw bread over the edge of the cliff the gulls (& lots of em) fly to get the bread & to gain more speed to catch the said bread they tend to loose all excess body wieght :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
sorry again if it was you anyone you know who ended up covered :twisted: :twisted:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
firstly i must say sorry if you or any of your familly used to sit on the benches around weymouth harbour (below the nothe)
yes it was me & a few mates who used to go up to the nothe stand on the edge of the cliff when people were eating there sandwiches & drinking flasks of tea at the bottom of the cliff
nothing wrong with that i hear you say :twisted:
& nothing wrong with liking seagulls :twisted: :twisted:
but when you throw bread over the edge of the cliff the gulls (& lots of em) fly to get the bread & to gain more speed to catch the said bread they tend to loose all excess body wieght :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
sorry again if it was you anyone you know who ended up covered :twisted: :twisted:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 