A true story... Apparently!
After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's
multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little better,
he prevailed.
He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their Beautiful dining
room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on
a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out Vents were checked
for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung
everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they
had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the
expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to
work in the house...The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the
local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a
new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the
saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed
her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement
in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she
were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his
lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
...including the curtain rods.
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The Curtain Rods
Orgasminator
Hehehehe..... I like that!
Don't think I'd ever have the guts to do that but it's very funny!
Don't think I'd ever have the guts to do that but it's very funny!
ops: :oops: 
Sex God
Quote by ChairmanMiaow
When I was at uni it was very popular to hide a piece of fish above one of the ceiling tiles in the halls of residence at term... ewwww
we did that at ours as well.......we didn't go to the same uni did we....
:D :D sean xxxxxxx
Sex God
Quote by ChairmanMiaow
Depends if you went to uni in the South West, although I'd bet if you asked most cleaning ladies at Halls all over the country what happened a the end of term, they'd give you a similar answer. Ours certainly didn't seem to fazed by it
this is probably true... i went to uni in the east midlands..... notice we are not saying which ones to protect the guilty!! :D
i think our uni was more surprised about the amount of road signs there were in the basement...especially a lovely one that should have been hanging over the M1......
sean xxxxxx
