FOUR ALL WHO REED AND RIGHT
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find one mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
One may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his, and him,
but the feminine cannot be she, shis, and shim.
And here are some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
1) A bandage was wound around a wound.
2) A farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
4) They decided to polish the Polish furniture.
5) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present
her present.
8) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
9) When disturbed, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object he offered as objective proof.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) A buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) I had to subject the subject to a series of subjective
tests.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
Multiple pronunciations can also mess up your mind! For
example... If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going
through the bough on a tree!
English is crazy. There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. And English muffins weren't invented in England .
We take our language for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it -- one odd or one end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Finally, for all you kids, if your Dad is Pop, how come your Mom isn't Mop?
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The English Language...for the teachers and pedants LOL ;o)
Sex God
Source?
Or sauce?
Or sauce?
Sex God
Quote by flower411
You just trying to annoy Phuckers , ain`t ya ?? :shock:
Or confuse!
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
You just trying to annoy Phuckers , ain`t ya ?? :shock:
Or confuse!
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
I thought the same thing
Sex God
Quote by bbw_lover
You just trying to annoy Phuckers , ain`t ya ?? :shock:
Or confuse!
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
I thought the same thing
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Sex God
ya all baduns the lot of ya
Love it! :giggle:
Love it! :giggle:
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
:shock: im not bad....i put this on here for all the times FB has been called a pedant!!
I knew she would like it!
Phuckers it want me it was them!!
I do like it!
Quote by flower411
:shock: im not bad....i put this on here for all the times FB has been called a pedant!!
I knew she would like it!
Phuckers it want me it was them!!
It was her !!! She made us do it !!
:shock: :shock:
Mr Flower!!! and after I sent u that lovely anonymous crush verse too!!!
:smackbottom: bad peanut!!
It gets even worse in the USA
We can pay a bill with a cheque, but they can pay a check with a bill
We walk on the pavement, but if you did that in the USA you would be in the middle of the road!
Our crisps are their chips, our scones are their biscuits, our biscuits are their cookies
Our shares are their stocks, ours stocks are their inventories
And they try to say they speak English !!!
We can pay a bill with a cheque, but they can pay a check with a bill
We walk on the pavement, but if you did that in the USA you would be in the middle of the road!
Our crisps are their chips, our scones are their biscuits, our biscuits are their cookies
Our shares are their stocks, ours stocks are their inventories
And they try to say they speak English !!!
Quote by sparking
It gets even worse in the USA
We can pay a bill with a cheque, but they can pay a check with a bill
We walk on the pavement, but if you did that in the USA you would be in the middle of the road!
Our crisps are their chips, our scones are their biscuits, our biscuits are their cookies
Our shares are their stocks, ours stocks are their inventories
And they try to say they speak English !!!
Not to mention that jam is jelly and jelly is jello.
Suspenders are braces and hold up trousers.
And if you light up a fag you'll probably need a tissue at some point.
