Chair and Committee
I was sure that i had made myself perfectly clear in relation to the WBB's of the NSWBB club. The very notion of the hat being placed upon my nipples is really most amusing. To clarify, i have absolutely no objections to any members of the committee working on the issue for 30 mins at a time, indeed, feel free for individual members to have a go. No amount of gentle and tender massage would allow a hat to be hung from these paps!
I would imagine, and indeed look forward to substantiate my beliefs, that only nipples which are in a 90 degree or less angle, would pass this inititiation. Since mine are probably more into the 100+ degree angle, (due to childbearing, feeding and sheer wantonness as a teenager) this angle is well obtuse than acute.
In order to not appear completely and totally argumentative to the committee, might i suggest that an area be reserved for the WBB's where they could at least lie down or lay back to angle there cleavage to allow for the necessary angle.
I look forward to hearing your views on the above.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
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The first meeting of the 'not so busty' club!!!
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Quote by Countess
Ahem... can one go dogging in a chauffer driven limo..?:lol:
Yes, but not in mine, sorry, the boss wouldn't like it, besides, I would have to charge you and that would be against the mebership rules, I think
I myself am not into exploring that side of things however neil I am waiting with baited breath:roll: for you to still perform the tests which will enroll me into this club :twisted: :twisted:
Neil has been kept so busy that his poor little mouth has gone dry. So while he goes off for a drink, again, should I pop round and make a start?
I even held off rubbing vic on my chest (as I've been proper poorly) in case you came round :lol: :lol:
Please Countess,
Don't allow Vic anywhere near your chest, as over excitment could cause un-necessary swelling of the breasts, and over enlargement of the nipples, leaving little for the inspectors to accomplish. Please just bare with us, and I'll get everyone into the limo for a quick dash round to Heavenly Mansions.
please remeber to use the servants entrance when you come as this will not arouse suspicion.
Is that where you get the best view of doggers, from the rear palace windows?
Quote by little
Chair and Committee
In order to not appear completely and totally argumentative to the committee, might i suggest that an area be reserved for the WBB's where they could at least lie down or lay back to angle there cleavage to allow for the necessary angle.
I look forward to hearing your views on the above.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Ah my dear Little,
I'm sure you will by now have noticed that arrangements have already been put in place to cater for just such a situation as yours, but in case you missed the anoouncement, I will clarify the clubs position.
We will shortly be installing in a themed room, designed esecially for examinations to take place on a more voluntary and constant basis, as the membership seem to like the idea of more frequent feel-ups, balances, tweeks, and suck-a-thons.
To this end, we will be installing all the very latest equipment from around the south of England, and this will include multi-angleable tables unpon which to lie, and the very latest, breast easer-upper, which I am sure you will greatly appreciate, once we have you strapped into it.
There will also be a bonus machine that we think everyone will want to try, and for this we have spared no expenditure of your annual subscriptions. This machine was designed by the eminant breast-a-holick, Dr Hanz Bustengrabber, in a moment of exesperation, after deeling with fifty Germanic ladies in a single morning.
Sitting on his well-worn leather inspection chair, he noticed that each time he stretched forward to manipulate another breast, the cheeks of his bare bottom peeled slowly away from the leather until he was quite sore and discovered he had a sweat rash, and this set him to thinking.
Fully ten minutes later, he had designed this revelutionary machine for strengthening the inner thigh muscles, thereby allowing the cheeks to be raised without sliding on the leather. Pretty soon he had adapted this to a free standing design, of which we will have one of the only two produced, and the committee are sure that members will appreciate this automatic fitment enormously after having had their breasts and nipples sucked and manipulated to maximum hardness, stiffness, and errectness.
Please feel free to call in anytime after completion, and enjoy the magnificent sensations afforded at the hands of the inspectors and any other members present at the time, and don't forget to have ago on the machines too!
On behalf of the committee
Keith
Feeler-Upper
I do so hope we don't mechanise our processes ,,,,,,
There are few of us manual manipulators left now ....nope manipulating jobs are rapidly moving to there new cheap labour economies of Bulgaria , China , Thailand .
Beware ladies before you have to go abroad for a good .....time.
don't anybody dare contemplate saying .......we do already
Countess I will contemplate using your servants entrance ..........
.....But only if shes female.......Noblesse oblige
There are few of us manual manipulators left now ....nope manipulating jobs are rapidly moving to there new cheap labour economies of Bulgaria , China , Thailand .
Beware ladies before you have to go abroad for a good .....time.
don't anybody dare contemplate saying .......we do already
Countess I will contemplate using your servants entrance ..........
.....But only if shes female.......Noblesse oblige
Quote by niceguysdoexist
I do so hope we don't mechanise our processes ,,,,,,
There are few of us manual manipulators left now ....nope manipulating jobs are rapidly moving to there new cheap labour economies of Bulgaria , China , Thailand .
Beware ladies before you have to go abroad for a good .....time.
don't anybody dare contemplate saying .......we do already
Countess I will contemplate using your servants entrance ..........
.....But only if shes female.......Noblesse oblige
Don't worry Niceguy,
There'll always be a call for a good hand job :twisted:
Chair and Committee,
My recent absence has not afforded me the advancements of the committee and so i must thank Mr Official Feeler Upper for his full, clear and concise clarification on the subject.
Since we now appear to have a hat, a chair and keen members, i seek assurances that there has been a full scientific research programme into effects to the WBB's who experiece the apparatus made by Dr Bustengrabber.
It has to be said that although Dr Bustengrabber did indeed expand his initial design, its not always necessarily the case that best is best. The innovative design of the free standing model, removes, it appears, the need for the membership to participate fully in the initiation, as i am sure there would be a number of volunteers who would be more than capable and indeed willing to comfort the inspectors.
In essence, does the membership feel that a waste of resources is required to perform the initiation in this fashion. I throw this point open to the committee.
Love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
My recent absence has not afforded me the advancements of the committee and so i must thank Mr Official Feeler Upper for his full, clear and concise clarification on the subject.
Since we now appear to have a hat, a chair and keen members, i seek assurances that there has been a full scientific research programme into effects to the WBB's who experiece the apparatus made by Dr Bustengrabber.
It has to be said that although Dr Bustengrabber did indeed expand his initial design, its not always necessarily the case that best is best. The innovative design of the free standing model, removes, it appears, the need for the membership to participate fully in the initiation, as i am sure there would be a number of volunteers who would be more than capable and indeed willing to comfort the inspectors.
In essence, does the membership feel that a waste of resources is required to perform the initiation in this fashion. I throw this point open to the committee.
Love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Keith- cracking idea regarding the machines, but does the club need to think about some form of insurance against injury - i.e. trapped nipple or god forbid a severed one!
I don't want to sound like a killjoy but as an upcoming club I'm sure the last thing we need is an expensive compensation claim....
Maybe a "Club accepts no responsibility" sign would do the trick?
Any comments?
Mr RSAB2.
I don't want to sound like a killjoy but as an upcoming club I'm sure the last thing we need is an expensive compensation claim....
Maybe a "Club accepts no responsibility" sign would do the trick?
Any comments?
Mr RSAB2.
Quote by RSAB2
Keith- cracking idea regarding the machines, but does the club need to think about some form of insurance against injury - i.e. trapped nipple or god forbid a severed one!
I don't want to sound like a killjoy but as an upcoming club I'm sure the last thing we need is an expensive compensation claim....
Maybe a "Club accepts no responsibility" sign would do the trick?
Any comments?
Mr RSAB2.
Hoorah! Hoorah!!!
Does that mean we can go back to comforting the arses who are using the leather chair???
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
:notes:
Membership list so far It doesn't look too bad now!
Mrs RSAB2 - chair woman
Nice guy - secretary and official guide
Re-lapse - vice secretary or stand in which ever he prefers.
Keith3006 - vigilance inspector
Frogster - Balance controller
Venus
Calista (joint with WBC)
Steve
Melons
Clare
Sappho
Carrieann
Little
Countess
and Guests:
Well busty babe
Jags
Corrie_fem
Jas ('cause i'm sure they're larger than a D cup.
Vodka babe
Red Stilletto
Alex
New couple
Raddabbler
Missy - as expert guide welcome!
Have I missed anybody?
Mrs RSAB2 xxx :angel:
Membership list so far It doesn't look too bad now!
Mrs RSAB2 - chair woman
Nice guy - secretary and official guide
Re-lapse - vice secretary or stand in which ever he prefers.
Keith3006 - vigilance inspector
Frogster - Balance controller
Venus
Calista (joint with WBC)
Steve
Melons
Clare
Sappho
Carrieann
Little
Countess
and Guests:
Well busty babe
Jags
Corrie_fem
Jas ('cause i'm sure they're larger than a D cup.
Vodka babe
Red Stilletto
Alex
New couple
Raddabbler
Missy - as expert guide welcome!
Have I missed anybody?
Mrs RSAB2 xxx :angel:
I think MissChief wants to be admitted as a guest, just to try the dogging room 
Then there's newswing69, (34B & skinny) they have shown particular interest, and will present themselves at Leicester on Saturday, when formal entry will be made.
There may also be a couple of the Countesses maids, but you will need to speak to Neil about them, or indeed Mr RSAB2, as they both seemed to have their hands full while I carried out the preliminary with the Countess :twisted:
Then there's newswing69, (34B & skinny) they have shown particular interest, and will present themselves at Leicester on Saturday, when formal entry will be made.
There may also be a couple of the Countesses maids, but you will need to speak to Neil about them, or indeed Mr RSAB2, as they both seemed to have their hands full while I carried out the preliminary with the Countess :twisted:
Quote by little
Keith- cracking idea regarding the machines, but does the club need to think about some form of insurance against injury - i.e. trapped nipple or god forbid a severed one!
I don't want to sound like a killjoy but as an upcoming club I'm sure the last thing we need is an expensive compensation claim....
Maybe a "Club accepts no responsibility" sign would do the trick?
Any comments?
Mr RSAB2.
Mr RSAB2,
Your point is taken very seriously, well it's hard to do otherwise, and I offer the following suggestion:
As only Dr Bustengrabbers aperatus is the only mechanical devise in the room, perhaps a sign warning of the unexpected thrills possibly derived for the machine would be more appropriate
: After-all, we wouldn't want to discourage it's use, as tight inner thigh muscels and cheeks can always be viewed as a bonus to members. However, we must discourage guests from the WBB's club from doing hand-stands and using the machine for purposes other than it was degned for, and to that end, I would suggest the reverse of the sign be printed upside-down, to read, "TIT GRABBER-BEWARE" This could be turned over each time a WBB cvlapped her hands and made as if to skip forwards towards the aperatus, or was seen tucking her skirt into her knickers.Does that mean we can go back to comforting the arses who are using the leather chair???
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
On contrary Little, there will always continue to be a need for someone to smooth and sooth the inner tighs and bums of those who've chosen to firm-up their muscles, and this will require similar expertise to those held by the breast inspection team. The committees problem is that until a suitable candidate has come forward, the room and all its equipment cannot be used to its full potential.
But thank you for your interest.
Keith
Club Feeler-Upper
Chair and committee,
As the self appointed spokesperson for the WBB's in the NSWBB, I feel that I have duty to protect and serve the WBB's of the said organisaiton, and feel, that as no scientific research has been forthcoming from the committee, the job, however dismal and treacherous it may be, of securing the safety of all the members, lies at my door.
I therefor volunteer myself to undergo, in the name of science, a full and detailed study of the effects to the WBB's. I also feel that as my bust size does indeed stand significantly outside that of the NSWBB, and in the interests of my personal safety, a number of members would be required to assist in the research programme.
Only upon feeling fully satisified, would i feel able to endorse such an apparatus.
I trust this meets with the approval of the committee, but I feel sure that any comments regarding the above, will be voiced at your earliest conveniences to allow for any additonal debate.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
As the self appointed spokesperson for the WBB's in the NSWBB, I feel that I have duty to protect and serve the WBB's of the said organisaiton, and feel, that as no scientific research has been forthcoming from the committee, the job, however dismal and treacherous it may be, of securing the safety of all the members, lies at my door.
I therefor volunteer myself to undergo, in the name of science, a full and detailed study of the effects to the WBB's. I also feel that as my bust size does indeed stand significantly outside that of the NSWBB, and in the interests of my personal safety, a number of members would be required to assist in the research programme.
Only upon feeling fully satisified, would i feel able to endorse such an apparatus.
I trust this meets with the approval of the committee, but I feel sure that any comments regarding the above, will be voiced at your earliest conveniences to allow for any additonal debate.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
P.S.
Chair and Committee,
I feel that i cannot volunteer my services to science and be an official feeler upper unless I am provided by the committee, a full and detailed programme of requirements, which would allow me to assess my experience and identify any additional educational requirements.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Chair and Committee,
I feel that i cannot volunteer my services to science and be an official feeler upper unless I am provided by the committee, a full and detailed programme of requirements, which would allow me to assess my experience and identify any additional educational requirements.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Quote by little
P.S.
Chair and Committee,
I feel that i cannot volunteer my services to science and be an official feeler upper unless I am provided by the committee, a full and detailed programme of requirements, which would allow me to assess my experience and identify any additional educational requirements.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Dear Little,
On behalf of the committee, may I thank you for your volunteership and undertake to show you the methods and practises undertaken by the inspectorate. For obvious reasons, you will understand if I refain from giving details here in open forum, but instead pass on this information both in person, by demonsrative methods, and written instructions by confidential white paper
: I have a prior engagement this morning, but will endevour to take up the challenge of education this pm, and would suggest you recline yourself in a suitably prepared state for the lessons to begin immediately I arrive. I will be coming shortly, and may bring an assistant.
Keith
Club Feeler-Upper, and Feel-Up trainer.
Quote by New couple
please can we both be guests?? we're both rather appreciative, if that stands for anything!!!
New Couple
I truly would love to welcome you with open arms into the NSWBB organisation.
Unfortunatly, the rules of the club are dictated by a hierarchy of pertness testers, feeler uppers, and additonal criteria which i myself am not entirely altogether aware of. The "making the rules up as they go along" seems to be the only mission statement of the organisation, but i would like to wish you well in your personal mission to gain membership.
Perhaps a full clarification of the rules for membership would be beneficial to all. I hope you enjoy your quest.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses,
Little
XXX
Quote by Keith3006
P.S.
Chair and Committee,
I feel that i cannot volunteer my services to science and be an official feeler upper unless I am provided by the committee, a full and detailed programme of requirements, which would allow me to assess my experience and identify any additional educational requirements.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses
Little
XXX
Dear Little,
On behalf of the committee, may I thank you for your volunteership and undertake to show you the methods and practises undertaken by the inspectorate. For obvious reasons, you will understand if I refain from giving details here in open forum, but instead pass on this information both in person, by demonsrative methods, and written instructions by confidential white paper
: I have a prior engagement this morning, but will endevour to take up the challenge of education this pm, and would suggest you recline yourself in a suitably prepared state for the lessons to begin immediately I arrive. I will be coming shortly, and may bring an assistant.
Keith
Club Feeler-Upper, and Feel-Up trainer.
Madam Chair and Mr Feeler Upper,
Did i miss the meeting regarding the position of the feeler upper trainer? Is there minutes of this meeting available to the members of the organisation.
I look forward with anticipation to seeing the White paper on the above subject, but wonder why the said Paper has to remain confidential to the general public.
May i also use this opportunity to voice my deepest concerns regarding the committee members apparent lack of care to this organisation. I feel quite strongly that membership requires some degree of loyalty, and even as a WBB within the NSWBB, i feel that i am doing my bit for the said community.
Is the possibility of a tit assessment now outweighed by the dogging room?
Your respnse is awaited with some degree of pertness.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses,
Little
XXX
Dear Little,
On behalf of our chairlady, who does have to take other matters in hand occasionally, as Mr RSAB2 can confirm, I feel your letter to the committee deserves some urgency in its attention.
I can confirm that the voting for trainee feeler-upper has taken place in your absence, and that you were dully elected, by an overwhelming majority of members waving the required objects in the air, to the said post of trainee feeler-upper, with special responsibilities to guests who just fall short of WBB's status, but overshoot NSBB's by a narrow margin.
Our training paper is indeed a restricted document, due to it being a white paper. This would naturally have been a pink paper, but the typist forgot to order some, and we ran out! Unfortunately, now it is on white paper it can't be changed, as the typist has a squint and finds it difficult to read anything on white paper, which is why she used up all the pink so quickly.
Next week we are going to try her on bue paper to see if that makes thing a little more transparent for her.
Because I announced my intentions to leave the office for a short time, it should not be construde that I am in anyway casting the thoughts of the club aside, far from it. In fact I had to attend, on behalf of the club, a thorough and rigorous examination of a prospective member, who by her graciousness has aggreed to become patron of the NSBB's club. I admit this did take a little longer than expected, but neither myself or the rest of the inspectorate knew that we would be required to also examine, feel-up, tweek, and balance the whole of her ladies in waiting, who are no longer waiting, as some of them are now wilting having found their way, to the satisfaction of the members present, into the NSBB's club, swelling members list considerably.
On a slightly more constrained note, I, on behalf of the committee thank you for the sterling effort you have shown so far, and note your note of welcome to New Swing. I will of course be communing with them shortly, and pass on the full requirements of membership, and the benefits obtainable thereto.
I do hope you recieve my private communicate on the complete methods of feeling-up, tweeking, balancing, and of course, the definitive methods of testing for chapel-hat-pegginess, written by Neil himself.
At this point I would like to appologise for the crayon used by Neil, but we were advised that to give him anything as sharp as a pencil could do damage to all our reputations. Mind you, it was hard enough getting the glass out his hand to even contemplate giving him a crayon in the first place. But you can't have an expert nipple sucker and literary tallent all in one body, can you?
Well I hope, on behalf of the chair and committee, we have glossed over, erm, settled your queeries, and I look forward to seeing you in person to give you the practical course on how to be a profficient feeler-upper.
Kind regards, bossom pal
Keith
Club Feeler-Upper
On behalf of our chairlady, who does have to take other matters in hand occasionally, as Mr RSAB2 can confirm, I feel your letter to the committee deserves some urgency in its attention.
I can confirm that the voting for trainee feeler-upper has taken place in your absence, and that you were dully elected, by an overwhelming majority of members waving the required objects in the air, to the said post of trainee feeler-upper, with special responsibilities to guests who just fall short of WBB's status, but overshoot NSBB's by a narrow margin.
Our training paper is indeed a restricted document, due to it being a white paper. This would naturally have been a pink paper, but the typist forgot to order some, and we ran out! Unfortunately, now it is on white paper it can't be changed, as the typist has a squint and finds it difficult to read anything on white paper, which is why she used up all the pink so quickly.
Next week we are going to try her on bue paper to see if that makes thing a little more transparent for her.
Because I announced my intentions to leave the office for a short time, it should not be construde that I am in anyway casting the thoughts of the club aside, far from it. In fact I had to attend, on behalf of the club, a thorough and rigorous examination of a prospective member, who by her graciousness has aggreed to become patron of the NSBB's club. I admit this did take a little longer than expected, but neither myself or the rest of the inspectorate knew that we would be required to also examine, feel-up, tweek, and balance the whole of her ladies in waiting, who are no longer waiting, as some of them are now wilting having found their way, to the satisfaction of the members present, into the NSBB's club, swelling members list considerably.
On a slightly more constrained note, I, on behalf of the committee thank you for the sterling effort you have shown so far, and note your note of welcome to New Swing. I will of course be communing with them shortly, and pass on the full requirements of membership, and the benefits obtainable thereto.
I do hope you recieve my private communicate on the complete methods of feeling-up, tweeking, balancing, and of course, the definitive methods of testing for chapel-hat-pegginess, written by Neil himself.
At this point I would like to appologise for the crayon used by Neil, but we were advised that to give him anything as sharp as a pencil could do damage to all our reputations. Mind you, it was hard enough getting the glass out his hand to even contemplate giving him a crayon in the first place. But you can't have an expert nipple sucker and literary tallent all in one body, can you?
Well I hope, on behalf of the chair and committee, we have glossed over, erm, settled your queeries, and I look forward to seeing you in person to give you the practical course on how to be a profficient feeler-upper.
Kind regards, bossom pal
Keith
Club Feeler-Upper
Quote by New couple
please can we both be guests?? we're both rather appreciative, if that stands for anything!!!
Good Evening New Couple,
I see that our trainee feeler-upper, little, has offered you a welcome as guest members of our little club, and I'm sure you will benefit from all the thing we have on offer.
Most importantly is the initial, shall we call it, check-over. This is a visual aid to the committee, verified by myself, as to your suitable visual sizeing.
Diue to popular demand for membership, and the obvious conotations of the name of the club, the Not So Busty Babes, it is a requirement that one of you have a chest with a breast cup size no larger than D. This can either be with or without extended nipples, and in the case of non performing breasts, or breasts which refuse to fill the required palm test, there is the chapel-hat-peg test, the suckabilty and chewynes test, and where breasts seem to be of different sizes on the one person, there is the balance test, and average equaling out test. I'm sure you will be please to know that all of these tests are preceeded by the simple yet highly effective feeling-up, carried out by myself.
We would also ask your permission to allow Little to be present, and for her to carry out a rudimentary feel-up, as it will help her training no-end if she can get a feel for the breast test from the begining.
Well again I say welcome, please look around the club, discover the hidden corners, try out our new dogging room if you wish, and then join us in the new test an examination room, at you convenience.
Happy clubbing,
Keith
club Feeler-Upper
on behalf of the committee.
Quote by heandtr
we are getting changed there!!! a bit worried walking through the streets of London as Matrix!!!!...lol
I'm afraid that the club tandem has a flat tyre at the moment, otherwise we'd have sent it for, but you'll be fine once you arrive here, but we'll have to ask you to leave the metal cone outside if you wish to use the facilities of the examination room.
Are you looking for full or guest membership?
Keith
on behalf of the doorman whose nipped off for a pee.
In the interests of Health and safety could I remind officials and members that when inspecting a WBB guest that one swift step backwards is to be taken by the guest to coincide with the removing of the bra....that should minimise the number of bruised or dislocated knees we have experienced ....:shock:
Thankyou for your attention.
Remember ... Timing is critical!!!!
Thankyou for your attention.
Remember ... Timing is critical!!!!
Sex God
madam chairlady, fellow members of the committee.
look you're never gonna believe what's happened. after all that about insurance for the club too. think you might have a point there, but maybe we can just get away with the policy on the cortina?
anyway! never mind that now i'll come back to it! i finally saw a prospective candidate, went running over the bloody road after her, and got hit by a bloody car! :shock: just never saw him coming. hit and run as well!
fortunately for me it was just one of them little plastic battery-powered things, so no real harm done, but i swear the three year old behind the wheel was pissed. went off running for his mam bawling his head off when i fell over him. no details or owt!
i'm just waiting now for RandomInsuranceFraudTypeClaimsDirect to get back to me. they reckon i have a strong case, and could be entitled to as much as once they've covered legal fees and that! seems to have worked out pretty well. keep this quiet like, but i'm even thinking now of getting me cousin to saddle me on his BMX up and down a coupla kerbs. whiplash! hey presto, the cheques in the post! never have to work again! woo hoo!
it may take me some time to catch up with the paperwork i've missed, so if anyone wants me i'll be in my office. well done on the members fronts by the way! keep it up!
neilinleeds
look you're never gonna believe what's happened. after all that about insurance for the club too. think you might have a point there, but maybe we can just get away with the policy on the cortina?
anyway! never mind that now i'll come back to it! i finally saw a prospective candidate, went running over the bloody road after her, and got hit by a bloody car! :shock: just never saw him coming. hit and run as well!
fortunately for me it was just one of them little plastic battery-powered things, so no real harm done, but i swear the three year old behind the wheel was pissed. went off running for his mam bawling his head off when i fell over him. no details or owt!
i'm just waiting now for RandomInsuranceFraudTypeClaimsDirect to get back to me. they reckon i have a strong case, and could be entitled to as much as once they've covered legal fees and that! seems to have worked out pretty well. keep this quiet like, but i'm even thinking now of getting me cousin to saddle me on his BMX up and down a coupla kerbs. whiplash! hey presto, the cheques in the post! never have to work again! woo hoo!
it may take me some time to catch up with the paperwork i've missed, so if anyone wants me i'll be in my office. well done on the members fronts by the way! keep it up!
neilinleeds
Quote by neilinleeds
madam chairlady, fellow members of the committee.
look you're never gonna believe what's happened. after all that about insurance for the club too. think you might have a point there, but maybe we can just get away with the policy on the cortina?
anyway! never mind that now i'll come back to it! i finally saw a prospective candidate, went running over the bloody road after her, and got hit by a bloody car! :shock: just never saw him coming. hit and run as well!
fortunately for me it was just one of them little plastic battery-powered things, so no real harm done, but i swear the three year old behind the wheel was pissed. went off running for his mam bawling his head off when i fell over him. no details or owt!
i'm just waiting now for RandomInsuranceFraudTypeClaimsDirect to get back to me. they reckon i have a strong case, and could be entitled to as much as once they've covered legal fees and that! seems to have worked out pretty well. keep this quiet like, but i'm even thinking now of getting me cousin to saddle me on his BMX up and down a coupla kerbs. whiplash! hey presto, the cheques in the post! never have to work again! woo hoo!
it may take me some time to catch up with the paperwork i've missed, so if anyone wants me i'll be in my office. well done on the members fronts by the way! keep it up!
neilinleeds
It couldn't 'ave 'append to a nicer blork, Neil old son, but I do worry about you.
Imagine if you'd fallen on thy face?? Nipple sucking for chapel-hat-peg test woul have been reet out the winda, so for God's sake, next time you're hit by somone bigger and harder than you, have the club's members uppermost in your mind, and drop to your knees like we would have done in the same situation.
And it's no good you offering the excuse that our trainee Little could stand in for you.
I know, I know, she would like to, but she hasn't the training yet, why only this morning I saw her get carried away, and began to pull outwards on a member, when she should have been just been feeling-up.
But I do think this may have taught us all two lessons, one is to consider up-graading the insurance policy to cover the tandem and floppy knee knocking incedent, and the other is to advertise for a trainee nipple-suckyness tester and chapel-hat-peg scorer, which you take take personal charge of indoctrinating in your ways. Omitting the drink, of course.
Get better soon chum, and I'll bet once I post this notice on the bulletin board, you'll forget your sore knees and think only of the prosect of getting your hands on your own trainee.
Your fellow inspector
Keith
Sex God
keith!
where the feck is buxton again, cos i didn't understand a bleedin' word you said. if you're gonna address me please use a proper dialect ffs will yer! i mean oop north in the west ridings it's thee face not thy face which is a bit tough i know cos it ain't like the and it ain't like theeeee! it's a kind of in between vowel, and i think you might be taking the piss from my lack of the Queen's English! i've been called a queen before, but not in any kind of english i use, so i ignored it. but there it is.
think you'll find In Real Life that actually falling on my face don't do that much damage luckily enough! they don't call me BigNose for nowt ((( that's nothing in a west riding accent for the buxtonian's among us! ))) it ain't a bad face guard, but i'm sick of seeing it swell on a daily basis cos i keep breaking it ((( i do of course mean my nose, and you can keep you sordid double entendres to yaself! )))
now this trainee? nice is she? up for a ((( bottles out at this point . . . . )))
neilinleeds . . . . expert nipple sucker requiring a trainee . . . . .
where the feck is buxton again, cos i didn't understand a bleedin' word you said. if you're gonna address me please use a proper dialect ffs will yer! i mean oop north in the west ridings it's thee face not thy face which is a bit tough i know cos it ain't like the and it ain't like theeeee! it's a kind of in between vowel, and i think you might be taking the piss from my lack of the Queen's English! i've been called a queen before, but not in any kind of english i use, so i ignored it. but there it is.
think you'll find In Real Life that actually falling on my face don't do that much damage luckily enough! they don't call me BigNose for nowt ((( that's nothing in a west riding accent for the buxtonian's among us! ))) it ain't a bad face guard, but i'm sick of seeing it swell on a daily basis cos i keep breaking it ((( i do of course mean my nose, and you can keep you sordid double entendres to yaself! )))
now this trainee? nice is she? up for a ((( bottles out at this point . . . . )))
neilinleeds . . . . expert nipple sucker requiring a trainee . . . . .
There you are Neil,
People keep telling me you've gone off sulk in a dark corner, and won't come out to play, so I thought I would do the simple thing to tempt you out, and you know it makes you feel better. A simple chastisement of your Yorkshire heritage, and you your usual hopping mad self. Now isn't that better??
And by the way, Buxton is the place God practiced on before he got it right and made Yorkshire, well the East and West ridings anyway! Oops, now who's going to start shouting??
Trainee! Nice? I'll say. And the only thing she bottles out on is her regular change of hair colour????? Airplane blond this week!!! You know, blond hair, black box.
WANTED, Trainee nipple sucker and hat-peg tester, must be nubile and supple. Contact. Neilinleeds, urgently!!!!
Any good mate?
People keep telling me you've gone off sulk in a dark corner, and won't come out to play, so I thought I would do the simple thing to tempt you out, and you know it makes you feel better. A simple chastisement of your Yorkshire heritage, and you your usual hopping mad self. Now isn't that better??
And by the way, Buxton is the place God practiced on before he got it right and made Yorkshire, well the East and West ridings anyway! Oops, now who's going to start shouting??
Trainee! Nice? I'll say. And the only thing she bottles out on is her regular change of hair colour????? Airplane blond this week!!! You know, blond hair, black box.
WANTED, Trainee nipple sucker and hat-peg tester, must be nubile and supple. Contact. Neilinleeds, urgently!!!!
Any good mate?
Sex God
sorry keith, you're entirely right.
i'm a bit short sighted you know. and a bit deaf. and a bit of a rubbish one handed typer, so when i saw "sulk in a dark corner" i actually thought you'd been one handed typing again, and it should have said "suck in a dark corner", so obviously i went off to have a little look, and then couldn't find me way out again, cos it was dark. and there weren't even a girlie there wanting a perfect pertness test, so it was a right waste of bloody time. bit of a one man blind mans buff, but i'm used to playin' on me own so it weren't so bad!
and yeah i am a bit sensitive about the Yorkshire thing, cos Leeds is about as non-swinging a place as you can get mate. even Buxton's better by all accounts. what happened to all that Premier City of the North rubbish. just ain't been the same since Labour lost so many seats. i blame the Liberals. and all the stuff they put in the water runs down the other side of the Pennines anyway, and i start to think i should be a Mancunian. can you imagine? i'm from bloody Leeds! never mind that there's some lovely Not So Busty's over there! they'd crucify here me for even having the thought! it's no wonder i'm letting the side down on the members fronts! i'm right pissed off mate and no mistake! when you move house can i come down and kip in the caravan? i'll do the teas and stuff for the day-trippers and what what have you. just a thought.
and have you heard that Little moaning ffs. make it up as we go along? well you couldn't make it up! stroppy cow. and she's a well busty as well. a bleedin' guest member ffs! it's all tits up mate and no mistake!
neilinleeds
i'm a bit short sighted you know. and a bit deaf. and a bit of a rubbish one handed typer, so when i saw "sulk in a dark corner" i actually thought you'd been one handed typing again, and it should have said "suck in a dark corner", so obviously i went off to have a little look, and then couldn't find me way out again, cos it was dark. and there weren't even a girlie there wanting a perfect pertness test, so it was a right waste of bloody time. bit of a one man blind mans buff, but i'm used to playin' on me own so it weren't so bad!
and yeah i am a bit sensitive about the Yorkshire thing, cos Leeds is about as non-swinging a place as you can get mate. even Buxton's better by all accounts. what happened to all that Premier City of the North rubbish. just ain't been the same since Labour lost so many seats. i blame the Liberals. and all the stuff they put in the water runs down the other side of the Pennines anyway, and i start to think i should be a Mancunian. can you imagine? i'm from bloody Leeds! never mind that there's some lovely Not So Busty's over there! they'd crucify here me for even having the thought! it's no wonder i'm letting the side down on the members fronts! i'm right pissed off mate and no mistake! when you move house can i come down and kip in the caravan? i'll do the teas and stuff for the day-trippers and what what have you. just a thought.
and have you heard that Little moaning ffs. make it up as we go along? well you couldn't make it up! stroppy cow. and she's a well busty as well. a bleedin' guest member ffs! it's all tits up mate and no mistake!
neilinleeds
Quote by neilinleeds
sorry keith, you're entirely right.
i'm a bit short sighted you know. and a bit deaf. and a bit of a rubbish one handed typer, so when i saw "sulk in a dark corner" i actually thought you'd been one handed typing again, and it should have said "suck in a dark corner", so obviously i went off to have a little look, and then couldn't find me way out again, cos it was dark. and there weren't even a girlie there wanting a perfect pertness test, so it was a right waste of bloody time. bit of a one man blind mans buff, but i'm used to playin' on me own so it weren't so bad!
and yeah i am a bit sensitive about the Yorkshire thing, cos Leeds is about as non-swinging a place as you can get mate. even Buxton's better by all accounts. what happened to all that Premier City of the North rubbish. just ain't been the same since Labour lost so many seats. i blame the Liberals. and all the stuff they put in the water runs down the other side of the Pennines anyway, and i start to think i should be a Mancunian. can you imagine? i'm from bloody Leeds! never mind that there's some lovely Not So Busty's over there! they'd crucify here me for even having the thought! it's no wonder i'm letting the side down on the members fronts! i'm right pissed off mate and no mistake! when you move house can i come down and kip in the caravan? i'll do the teas and stuff for the day-trippers and what what have you. just a thought.
and have you heard that Little moaning ffs. make it up as we go along? well you couldn't make it up! stroppy cow. and she's a well busty as well. a bleedin' guest member ffs! it's all tits up mate and no mistake!
neilinleeds
I hear you, and will be getting back to you very soon ffs !!! , but would rather wait a little while and let you stew. By gum lad, you'll be sorry.
Lots of love, hugs and kisses,
Little
XXX
Sex God
sorry little love.
i was being offensive weren't i? i was very very drunk at the time, and a bit maudlin'. it's just i haven't had me hands on a not so busty for nearly four weeks now, let along given 'em a suck to see if they can achieve perfect nipple pertness. there's only so much self-manipulatin' yer can do before people start callin' yer a right wanker!
neil x x x x ;-)
i was being offensive weren't i? i was very very drunk at the time, and a bit maudlin'. it's just i haven't had me hands on a not so busty for nearly four weeks now, let along given 'em a suck to see if they can achieve perfect nipple pertness. there's only so much self-manipulatin' yer can do before people start callin' yer a right wanker!
neil x x x x ;-)
