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The five word story.....

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escaping from an intense session
the local old peoples home
played every Sunday afternoon before
the issue of flavoured condoms
is made as a substitute
after the contents have been
container which they use for
(you're a dirty cow fun pmsl)
recycling leftover weetabix so that
(I resemble that comment!!! wink )
they don't get the crumbs
which can cause extreme problems
or the labia which needs
delicate removal using strong surgical
spirit and a goodly dose
of Castrol GTX, WD40, Brillo, and
an immense amount of elbow
well matured cow dung has
where the situation has demanded
near impossible to apply liberally