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The most swinging bar on the net....

OK, OK, so I know it's late and I don't come in here often enough but, as some of you know, I have a fairly hectic life outside of SH. However, I thought that, as it's a holiday weekend, we ought to have something of a party. Sooooo,
There a couple of barrels of real ale (Wadworth's 6X and Theakston's Old Peculiar to be going on with), plus some specialist bottled beers and, in the fidge, a choice of Italian and Mexican beers.
Speaking of the fridge, there is also some bubbly (both pink and white), New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, Sancerre, Chablis (the only Chardonnay worth drinking imho) and some Rose from the south of France.
For red wine lovers we have Argentinian Malbec, Australian Shiraz, Chateauneuf-du-Pape and Chilean Merlot.
There is also chilled vodka and gin - with equally chilled tonic, room temperature Glenmorangie, Laphroiag and Bush Mills.
There is also some Pimms and lemonade - just in case the weather should pick up a little.
Tomorrow morning there will be bacon and/or sausage sandwiches/baps and tea and coffee - though I may need a band of helpers to serve them.
As always, fondling of the staff is not only allowed but positively encouraged.
Now then, who's first?
Will
Am i missing something?? Where?
a large vodka and diet coke with ice please...no lemon, and one for yourself Will xx
oh and a packet of pistachios thanks smile
Coming right up - and I'll join you with a glass of Chianti (if truth be known, it's not my first! redface).
Vampanya, this is a virtual bar and I do this from time to time. Been doing it for SIX YEARS now :shock: :shock:. Nice avatar, by the way. Now what can I get you :rascal:
Will
Can I have a vodka and cock .... oops, I meant coke lol and can I please have an egg on my sausage sandwich ... I need to build up my energy :twisted:
Quote by Kaznkev
Will,you opened without me!
But i will forgive you if you turn the hot tub on.
Its been a stressful day,what do you have that's smooth,long and guaranteed to relax a lady?

I was SOOOO hoping you would pop in passionkiss sillyassionkiss:
The hot tub on is on and ready :rascal: and I have JUST the smooth, long thing to guarantee your complete satisfaction. However, would you like a drink first?
Will :twisted:
Quote by Funlovers2009
Can I have a vodka and cock .... oops, I meant coke lol and can I please have an egg on my sausage sandwich ... I need to build up my energy :twisted:

Seriously I had a friend who way back in 1992 asked the big titted bar maid for a pint of breast as he stood and dribbled.
I'll have a Dark rum and diet coke with a packet of pork scratchings please.
Hi Funlovers, Vodka and whatever-you-want coming right up.
Sausage and egg sandwich sounds delightfully decadent. You could be just my sort of people!
Will
Call this a bar, it is empty, light weights..................... lol
its bloody cold....any chance of a Bovril..and a balti pie please !!!!
Dean
If you put some clothes on, you might feel warmer!! lol
can I have a martini please v. v. dry just wave to the vermouth while pouring the gin
So who do you have to do for a bacon and egg buttie round here then?
Don't drink, so it would need to be IRN BRU for me and as I am on a diet I'l have a diet IRN BRU too lol
Start to offer healthy option cheese salads all round.......
*coughs*
Service is a bit tardy tonight. rolleyes
I'll help myself methinks.... A glass of pink fizz would do nicely. :cheers:
Sorry to have been absent from my post.
Went to our eldest's boyfriend's 18th birthday party yesterday afternoon - the first time we'd met his parents properly. They were generous hosts (a little TOO generous) and as Sappho Jr had tipped them off that I have a penchant for red wine they were filling my glass every four or five minutes. As a result, I rather over-indulged and was in bed by 08:30 redface
To make amends, I have been on cooking, gardening AND childcare duty today. But the little ones are in bed now and Sappho and Sappho Jr are out for the evening.
Soooo, what can I get you all?
Will
I've just had a smoothie so I don't really need a drink, just thought I'd pop by and say hello Will! kiss
Can you paint?
Quote by Dirtygirly
I've just had a smoothie so I don't really need a drink, just thought I'd pop by and say hello Will! kiss
Can you paint?
Hi there DG, always nice to say hello to you :kiss:
I can paint walls - I don't do pictures I'm afraid lol
Will
Quote by willxx69
I've just had a smoothie so I don't really need a drink, just thought I'd pop by and say hello Will! kiss
Can you paint?
Hi there DG, always nice to say hello to you :kiss:
I can paint walls - I don't do pictures I'm afraid lol
Will
That's good enough for me... what you doing tomorrow?! :giggle:
*eyes up paint and roller and crosses fingers* :rascal:
Unfortunately, I'm working on the south coast tomorrow - which isn't exactly round the corner from you!
Shame - I take it there would have been some 'payment in kind'? :rascal: :rascal:
Will
Whatever tonic you have for the work-in-the-morning blues, I'll have a bathful please Will ...
Quote by willxx69
Unfortunately, I'm working on the south coast tomorrow - which isn't exactly round the corner from you!
Shame - I take it there would have been some 'payment in kind'? :rascal: :rascal:
Will

Bugger... not exactly handy!
Although I'm sure it's against the rules to offer payment in kind but I could make you a smoothie and serve it naked? Would that have done?! lol
Quote by Dirtygirly
I could make you a smoothie and serve it naked? Would that have done?! lol
That seems a pretty good place to start! :rascal:
Will :twisted:
Quote by TheLovelyOne
Whatever tonic you have for the work-in-the-morning blues, I'll have a bathful please Will ...
Speaking of baths, how about a bathtub for two, you and me, lots of bubbles and candles, a bottle of wine/champagne and two glasses?
Interested?
Will innocent
Quote by willxx69
Whatever tonic you have for the work-in-the-morning blues, I'll have a bathful please Will ...
Speaking of baths, how about a bathtub for two, you and me, lots of bubbles and candles, a bottle of wine/champagne and two glasses?
Interested?
Will innocent
If you make the Champagne painfully dry, and we don't drink from anything as unyielding as glass... Interested!
cool
Quote by Kaznkev
did someone mention a glass of red,i need something calming after a rather erotic email i just read :twisted:
One large glass of red coming up. I have a nice 9-year old Rioja here if you care to join me. If that's not your thing, then I'm sure that we can find something to suit.
Make yourself comfortable
Will
Quote by vodka_babe22uk
could i have something long and satisflying young man
..coming right up :rascal:
Right then, last orders! I have to be up at 5:45, so any more for any more before the shutters come down?
Will clears away the glasses and other debris and pulls the shutters down quietly so as not to wake Kaz who has a strangely serene and slightly pervy smile on her lips
Vodka babe - you're coming with me! :rascal: :twisted:
Will