The â€œotherâ€ kind of cheating.

8 Feb 2005

After tall_dark_and_havesomes thread on cheating I started thinking ( evil

0iiiiiiiiiiii â€“ shut it! Lol).
The fact that most of the people on here play with other people as well as their partner means that cheating may not be so big a problem here than in the â€œreal worldâ€.
I donâ€™t mean that it is less important , I just mean less reason for it to happen.
What I was wondering is â€“ does that mean that people on here being open minded with regards to sex are going to be more concerned about â€œemotional cheatingâ€
Would you be more or less upset if you found out that your partner had formed a close emotional but non-sexual bond with a member of the opposite sex than you would be to know that they had had emotionless sex with them?
i am in a very "wondering" mood tonight confused

WBB
x

8 Feb 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
What I was wondering is â€“ does that mean that people on here being open minded with regards to sex are going to be more concerned about â€œemotional cheatingâ€
Would you be more or less upset if you found out that your partner had formed a close emotional but non-sexual bond with a member of the opposite sex than you would be to know that they had had emotionless sex with them?

WBB~
Personally, I'd be upset if my partner didn't form some bond other than sexual with a swinging partner. Perhaps it's just me, but I can't really get my head around the concept of "casual sex", as there has to be something more than mere physical lust to get me to share my body with another. The more intimacies we can share with others, the richer our lives and friendships can be. Thus, if Vix formed a strong emotional bond with another - whether or not it involved sexual intimacy as well - I would be wholly supportive of it.
~Reese! surprised

P.S. Granted, I've got the security that Vix & I only to swing together, so perhaps that minimises any negative emotions that could emerge on my part.

8 Feb 2005

Quote by Reese
What I was wondering is â€“ does that mean that people on here being open minded with regards to sex are going to be more concerned about â€œemotional cheatingâ€
Would you be more or less upset if you found out that your partner had formed a close emotional but non-sexual bond with a member of the opposite sex than you would be to know that they had had emotionless sex with them?

WBB~
Personally, I'd be upset if my partner didn't form some bond other than sexual with a swinging partner. Perhaps it's just me, but I can't really get my head around the concept of "casual sex", as there has to be something more than mere physical lust to get me to share my body with another. The more intimacies we can share with others, the richer our lives and friendships can be. Thus, if Vix formed a strong enotional bond with another - whether or not it involved sexual intimacy as well - I would be wholly supportive of it.
~Reese! surprised

P.S. Granted, I've got the security that Vix & I only to swing together, so perhaps that minimises any negative emotions that could emerge on my part.
Reese, what i was asking is... if you had found out that your partner had formed an emotional relationship with someone behind your back. â€¦Someone who they felt they could relate to more easily and better than they could with you. Nothing at all to do with swinging.
I am asking if you would feel that as more or less of a betrayal than them going behind your back to have sex with someone.

8 Feb 2005

Morbius and I have talked through a number of scenarios and this was one of them.
We have agreed that either party can "play away" as long as it's admitted too. I have a huge insecurity related to the Uni that he goes too so that is a no no and a relationship (emotional only) he had with a female drove me insane ~ he on the other hand is more than happy for me to have emotional attachments or sexual attachments , again as long as we are honest and open about it.
If everything is upfront and honest ... there's no problems for us.
C xx

8 Feb 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
Reese, what i was asking is... if you had found out that your partner had formed an emotional relationship with someone behind your back. â€¦

WBB~
Ah, thanks for the clarification. Behind my back? Yes, I would definitely consider that to be cheating...trust, once broken, is not so easily repaired (and, even if it is, things can never, ever be the same). sad

~Reese

8 Feb 2005

Quote by Reese
trust, once broken, is not so easily repaired (and, even if it is, things can never, ever be the same).
~Reese

My sentiments exactly Reese. I cheated on a partner once. The relationship ended - not becuase she found out - but becuase I felt that she couldn't trust me. And trust and honesty are virtues I place very highly in my life. And they are requisites I carry with me in this new swinging world I have entered.
Slightly off-topic I know - but I just felt like responding to that kiss

Rs :color:

8 Feb 2005

Quote by Reese
(and, even if it is, things can never, ever be the same).
~Reese

That can sometimes be a GOOD thing.
Venusxxx

8 Feb 2005

I know what you're trying to say WBB, and even though I'm unsure why.. I would definately be a lot more hurt over a 'non-sexual emotional' affair, than if he just went off and had sex with a stranger behind my back iykwim. confused

8 Feb 2005

I wouldn't have a problem with a partner having a close friendship with someone with whom they sometimes had sex. What I really couldn't tolerate is if they were doing it behind my back or being dishonest about the nature of their involvement... i.e. they were pretending they weren't really good friends - the very fact they were lying would make me believe that they had something to hide.
rolleyes

9 Feb 2005

John would hate it if I fell in love with someone whom I swung with. If we were simply friends then that is ok. We talk loads so he knows who is who and who I'm friends with.