
anyways, the reason is, i've been putting the final touches to the research paper i began on this thread some time ago. though i was pleased at the time with the general theory, it was based on what we in the science trade call Anecdotal Evidence. i.e. i read back through me own posts, and tried hard to remember if i was particularly pissed or not at the time, which doesn't really stand up. i'm now pleased to announce i've finished something a bit more rigourous, and i can finally put it forward for that Peer Review thing they do in all those scientific journals.

it's been a long and arduous process, not least cos i don't know the first thing about maths and scientific research and all that lot, and also cos i didn't have a feckin' clue what i was on about at the time, but i did promise an update, so i've spent ages and ages trawling forums for the answer to that age old question . . . . How to post vaguely amusing complete and utter shite on SH?
thanks should go to Venus, for suggesting the odd Philosophy of Scientific Enquiry type forum, though quite what she's doing on there i DO NOT KNOW! still, keeps her busy bless her. :roll: and thanks to Ice Pie for being a bit clever with the sums, and inspiring me to greater efforts!

anyways, here it is . . .
The Correlation Between Forum Post Characteristics, And Alcohol Intake.
By Neilinleeds 2005.
First thing you need to understand, is the formula for a Parabola. generally, it's expressed like this:
y = F(x)
where y = vaguely amusingness, x = number of beers, and F = The drinking function.
it's a bit easier to see on a graph:
now i know it looks like some shite pic i just nicked off google somewhere, but it is in fact a screenshot of some really complicated techie shit i did all by meself! no plagiarism in this paper ta very much.
anyways, it's obvious, that at the origin ((( that's 0,0 or where the two lines cross over for the non-mathemeticians among you ))) there's no alcohol, and no posts. but as you go along the x axis, well we see the posts start to rise, and we get a nice curve, until such point as we reach an optimal level of vague humour. :D at this point, where it sort of levels off, it's probably best to log out, cos sadly it doesn't stay like that. note the rapid descent with increased alcohol intake. actually, though the downward curve stops at 0 on the y axis on this graph, if you carry on, you actually get into negative numbers, which are firmly in rant mode territory, and that's to be avoided at all costs. carry on drinking by all means, but don't expect your posts to make any sense whatsoever. we could go still further, but then we're seriously into OMFG i didn't post that did i, let's hope noones up so i can delete it before a quote territory.
it's also worth noting a curious coincidence. if we were to take y as general sexual ability/horniness, and x as alcohol intake yet again, we can see a nice explanation of the whole increasingly rampant till at some point the brewers droop kicks in after a certain number of pints thing, but i'm still doing the maths on that, so can't really draw any firm conclusions there just yet. might just do another paper on that in the future?

anyways, in a nutshell, there it is. just thought i should share this before i post it off to New Scientist and they tell me it is in fact a loada bollox, and ask if i was really bored when i wrote it etc?
neilinleeds