I was gonna send a PM to Marya about this, then thought "No, that's cowardly". Here's why:
You know me, I would probably be expected to come into a thread like this and say something along the lines of "Well, if they did it to me, or if I saw them do it to someone else, I'd rip their head off and shit down their neck!"
Truth be told, if it happened to me, I'd be one of the women that thinks "Well, look at how I dress and behave. It's to be expected'"
Now, I know that that is so much bollox, but in a situation like this, that would be my reaction. I would probably do nothing. In fact, I doubt I'd be brave enough to even 'complain' the day after. Or ever.
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the two asian blokes who was together at leicester munch...
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Quote by Vix
I was gonna send a PM to Marya about this, then thought "No, that's cowardly". Here's why:
You know me, I would probably be expected to come into a thread like this and say something along the lines of "Well, if they did it to me, or if I saw them do it to someone else, I'd rip their head off and shit down their neck!"
Truth be told, if it happened to me, I'd be one of the women that thinks "Well, look at how I dress and behave. It's to be expected'"
Now, I know that that is so much bollox, but in a situation like this, that would be my reaction. I would probably do nothing. In fact, I doubt I'd be brave enough to even 'complain' the day after. Or ever.
Its a crime that so many women think that way as well Vix...
Quote by Vix
I was gonna send a PM to Marya about this, then thought "No, that's cowardly". Here's why:
You know me, I would probably be expected to come into a thread like this and say something along the lines of "Well, if they did it to me, or if I saw them do it to someone else, I'd rip their head off and shit down their neck!"
Truth be told, if it happened to me, I'd be one of the women that thinks "Well, look at how I dress and behave. It's to be expected'"
Now, I know that that is so much bollox, but in a situation like this, that would be my reaction. I would probably do nothing. In fact, I doubt I'd be brave enough to even 'complain' the day after. Or ever.
Ditto here too Vix, I would have been very intimidated and worried. It's one of the reasons I haven't been to a club yet......
Sex God
Maybe we should have a female representative who's brave enough to go to the munch organiser (whoever that might be), if any lady feels as though she's unable to do that herself.
no man has any right to take advantage of any women. no matter how they are dressed
or by what the women comes across like. you all need to keep your eyes out for these the next munch cause it might be more than touching next time.
i did go to the munch but did not see anyone as i did not want to go round asking people.
if they were in here for the munch. but apart from these two blokes i hope everyone enjoyed themselves. and i hope to see you all soon .
or by what the women comes across like. you all need to keep your eyes out for these the next munch cause it might be more than touching next time.
i did go to the munch but did not see anyone as i did not want to go round asking people.
if they were in here for the munch. but apart from these two blokes i hope everyone enjoyed themselves. and i hope to see you all soon .
Quote by bikerdave
no man has any right to take advantage of any women. no matter how they are dressed
.
Thank you, I wasnt going to enter into this conversation because I wasnt at the munch but i have been very alarmed at the some of the, "she was asking for it coments" which all seem to assume that men have no control over their actions!!
It s particularly reasuring that you made the comment as a male
Again thanks
Quote by fruity1976
Its such a shame theres immature arseholes like that who just ruin things for others, hope theres no-one like that at the Scottish munch especially as its my first one and probably a couple others tooa lthough I think even people with previous experiences of munches might also be put off!!
tbh if anybody tries to grope me they might end up in the hospital with their nads in traction!! No groping without my permission!!! Then if you have it you can grope all you want!! :shock:
I'm sure Lucy won't mind my pointing out that the Scottish Munch is being held at a private venue, & only those on the list will be allowed entry.
Quote by Vix
I was gonna send a PM to Marya about this, then thought "No, that's cowardly". Here's why:
You know me, I would probably be expected to come into a thread like this and say something along the lines of "Well, if they did it to me, or if I saw them do it to someone else, I'd rip their head off and shit down their neck!"
Truth be told, if it happened to me, I'd be one of the women that thinks "Well, look at how I dress and behave. It's to be expected'"
Now, I know that that is so much bollox, but in a situation like this, that would be my reaction. I would probably do nothing. In fact, I doubt I'd be brave enough to even 'complain' the day after. Or ever.
I personally dont give a flying f**k how a man or woman is dressed or behaves, if somebody is behaving in a unwanted and unwelcome manner then they need to be reminded and or booted out. We all know that we would see people in perhaps skanty/provocative outfits, so what, its called MANNERS to behqave yourself. I know that some people, male and female alike are very wary of "rocking the boat" in some circumstances, I am one of theose people, I know that it being my 1st munch I would have felt awkward about making a complain myself so I can sypathise with those who felt that they couldnt speak out at the time, but please, please if it ever happens again, let the organiser know. Its sounding as though these two idiots were counting on the fact that nobody would speak up to get away with what inmy mind was simply sexual harrasment/assualt.
I know the Steph and Voddy did their utmost to make everything go with a swing ( no pun intended ) and I hate to think that two pr**ks like these could have dented the great fun everybody was having.
Sex God
Quote by MQ
Truth be told, if it happened to me, I'd be one of the women that thinks "Well, look at how I dress and behave. It's to be expected'"
OMG...... how could u say such a thing????? I had trousers and a shirt on...
No my tits wasnt hanging out all over.... But did that give him the right to touch me up???? NO!!!!!!!!
Sex God
Quote by MQ
Ditto here too Vix, I would have been very intimidated and worried. It's one of the reasons I haven't been to a club yet......
Also wanna add...i have been to a few clubs...and no...u dont get" touched up" in such a way as these places have rules and the guys who go there abide by these.
Quote by LilMissGullable
Truth be told, if it happened to me, I'd be one of the women that thinks "Well, look at how I dress and behave. It's to be expected'"
OMG...... how could u say such a thing????? I had trousers and a shirt on...
No my tits wasnt hanging out all over.... But did that give him the right to touch me up???? NO!!!!!!!!
Provocative clothing may tempt a bloke, but when he is told "no" he should respect that. Anyone who doesn't understand the meaning of "no" is a problem that has to be dealt with in some way.
Quote by freckledbird
Maybe we should have a female representative who's brave enough to go to the munch organiser (whoever that might be), if any lady feels as though she's unable to do that herself.
I'd be more than happy to volunteer for this role, I know I'm not a woman, but I know that lots of people are able to open up to me and trust me.
Chris
Sex God
Quote by marmalaid
Maybe we should have a female representative who's brave enough to go to the munch organiser (whoever that might be), if any lady feels as though she's unable to do that herself.
I'd be more than happy to volunteer for this role, I know I'm not a woman, but I know that lots of people are able to open up to me and trust me.
Chris
I don't mind either, maybe someone different could be the 'rep' for each munch?
I find telling them `If you touch me there again I`ll rip your fucking legs off` worked wonders for me! :mrgreen:
I`ve only ever had to say it once, and it wasn`t at a munch or any other swinging event.
I did go clubbing another time however where there was a guy who wasn`t picking up on any of the hints. He kept gyrating up against all the girls whilst they were dancing, and when they moved away, kept pushing it. I started dancing with my brother in law in the hope this guy would get the hint. He didn`t, so Bro-in-law `had words`
I`ve never really had a problem with deciding how to handle unwanted attention. I walk away, if it persists I get verbal, and if it still persists, I`ll tell one of the guys I`m with. If I`m not with a guy, I`d tell bar staff.
Venusxxx
I`ve only ever had to say it once, and it wasn`t at a munch or any other swinging event.
I did go clubbing another time however where there was a guy who wasn`t picking up on any of the hints. He kept gyrating up against all the girls whilst they were dancing, and when they moved away, kept pushing it. I started dancing with my brother in law in the hope this guy would get the hint. He didn`t, so Bro-in-law `had words`
I`ve never really had a problem with deciding how to handle unwanted attention. I walk away, if it persists I get verbal, and if it still persists, I`ll tell one of the guys I`m with. If I`m not with a guy, I`d tell bar staff.
Venusxxx
Sex God
Well all I can say is I wasnt aware of anything untoward going on at the munch itself, as no one told me if they had id have had words in ears
However at the afters party I did come across these guys and after the incident with us both myself and terry went to have a quick word in the staffs ear and they were escorted out. Thats how I dealt with it. Within 3 minutes they were out the door
Id hate this to cloud a wonderfull evening
But if you had said something before they could have been ejected from the munch and watched for and not allowed to gain entrance later to the afters party.
Vicky
However at the afters party I did come across these guys and after the incident with us both myself and terry went to have a quick word in the staffs ear and they were escorted out. Thats how I dealt with it. Within 3 minutes they were out the door
Id hate this to cloud a wonderfull evening
But if you had said something before they could have been ejected from the munch and watched for and not allowed to gain entrance later to the afters party.
Vicky
Orgasminator
When your amongst friends, then thats the time to teach these people a lesson. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising anyone for not doing anything.
But I hear the excuse "look at the way I was dressed" too many times from women who've been groped (unwanted). I don't think that is any kind of excuse for men to think they can do whatever they want. Its like when women get , people sometimes think about how she was dressed and say "she was asking for it". Would you accept that as an excuse for ? Same priniples apply.
But I hear the excuse "look at the way I was dressed" too many times from women who've been groped (unwanted). I don't think that is any kind of excuse for men to think they can do whatever they want. Its like when women get , people sometimes think about how she was dressed and say "she was asking for it". Would you accept that as an excuse for ? Same priniples apply.
I had no idea at the time that these incidents took place and that these guys were causing trouble until I read this thread. Well done Kinkyluton for taking these guys on!
I feel sorry for anyone whose evening may have been sullied by these individuals. It would appear that they had a grievance against the site and came along just to cause trouble. They are not representative of the majority of genuine males who use this site and attend munches and parties, those who understand the rules and protocols as to what is acceptable and unacceptable.
The wearing of provocative clothing gives no licence to unwanted advances. No means no and it's unacceptable to touch someone unwarranted, in an inappropriate way, or to persistently harass them. The genuine guys who use this site understand this and act appropriately, otherwise they would be making themselves unwelcome. Respect for others boundaries is absolute in the swinging scene.
These guys were a couple of chancers with no allegiance to this community. I'd hate to think that their behaviour would put others off from attending future munches here in Leicester or elsewhere. As the munches are now becoming larger and more popular perhaps it is time to review some of the issues surrounding security. Lessons can be learned from this and some good ideas have already been put forward.
On the whole people had an enjoyable time at the Leicester munch, as you can see from the 'thank you' thread. It was an successful evening during which the organizers and those involved did us proud and went out of their way to make sure we all had a good time. Hopefully this will be the first munch of many here in Leicester.
LC
I feel sorry for anyone whose evening may have been sullied by these individuals. It would appear that they had a grievance against the site and came along just to cause trouble. They are not representative of the majority of genuine males who use this site and attend munches and parties, those who understand the rules and protocols as to what is acceptable and unacceptable.
The wearing of provocative clothing gives no licence to unwanted advances. No means no and it's unacceptable to touch someone unwarranted, in an inappropriate way, or to persistently harass them. The genuine guys who use this site understand this and act appropriately, otherwise they would be making themselves unwelcome. Respect for others boundaries is absolute in the swinging scene.
These guys were a couple of chancers with no allegiance to this community. I'd hate to think that their behaviour would put others off from attending future munches here in Leicester or elsewhere. As the munches are now becoming larger and more popular perhaps it is time to review some of the issues surrounding security. Lessons can be learned from this and some good ideas have already been put forward.
On the whole people had an enjoyable time at the Leicester munch, as you can see from the 'thank you' thread. It was an successful evening during which the organizers and those involved did us proud and went out of their way to make sure we all had a good time. Hopefully this will be the first munch of many here in Leicester.
LC
Just like to say, I didnt know of anything going off my wife did get chated up whilst i was at the bar by a few men but apart from that everything was fine. If she or any women with us had told me of any harrasment then I would have had a word with the men and then if they didnt take notice dealt with the situation via security man, management.
Just sorry i didnt know of this :cry: If these men wernt listening to NO then they have no place in our company!
Hope you ladies arent put off by all this and we can make sure in future that such behaviour is dealt with asap
Mr Goodtimez xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Just sorry i didnt know of this :cry: If these men wernt listening to NO then they have no place in our company!
Hope you ladies arent put off by all this and we can make sure in future that such behaviour is dealt with asap
Mr Goodtimez xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I've only just read all the way through this thread and must echo sentiments .. I find it very difficult to trust many men at all ... I feel comfortable with certain individuals from this site which allows me to join in.
Had this happened to me then I too would have struggled to "deal" with it at the time I'd probably have told my hubby but would have left the munch and not joined in afterwards etc. It's things like this that do put me off swinging "publicly".
It's good to see that lessons are continuously being learned and that security will be improved (with regards to attendees etc).
Such a pity that the minority can spoil it for the majority and I must admit now to having concerns about attending munches in the future
Calista x
Had this happened to me then I too would have struggled to "deal" with it at the time I'd probably have told my hubby but would have left the munch and not joined in afterwards etc. It's things like this that do put me off swinging "publicly".
It's good to see that lessons are continuously being learned and that security will be improved (with regards to attendees etc).
Such a pity that the minority can spoil it for the majority and I must admit now to having concerns about attending munches in the future
Calista x
Sex God
i wasn't aware of it going on at the munch itself, but i was certainly aware of it at the after party.. and i don't mind putting my hand up and saying i was one of the one of the people who went up to the people who went to the staff and complained......
but if anyone has any problems with this sort of problem then i had no problems going up to either the organisers and/or the person concerned....
i might be a bit more recognisable than marms and i hope that people could trust me......
sean xxxxxxxx
but if anyone has any problems with this sort of problem then i had no problems going up to either the organisers and/or the person concerned....
i might be a bit more recognisable than marms and i hope that people could trust me......
sean xxxxxxxx
I was not aware of this happening on the night.
The two men involved are despicable for harassing some of the lady members of this community and it seems only fair that steps are being taken against at least one of them.
I believe that a review of security at Munches and after parties is the way forward. This has already been discussed on this thread. The safety of the members of this community is of paramount importance at these events.
The two men involved are despicable for harassing some of the lady members of this community and it seems only fair that steps are being taken against at least one of them.
I believe that a review of security at Munches and after parties is the way forward. This has already been discussed on this thread. The safety of the members of this community is of paramount importance at these events.
Hi all,
As a newbie I feal a bit sick that that idiots lick this think thay can behave so badly and get away with it, spoiling it for others. I am glade that the group feels the same way and action has been taken against them. I hope that newbies reading this will understand why the group try to vete people before inviting them to munches & events. Personaly the response Ihave read has reinfosed my beleafe that I have made the right disition to get to now members of the group.
I hope that the people how put events together do keep up the good work.
Philg.
As a newbie I feal a bit sick that that idiots lick this think thay can behave so badly and get away with it, spoiling it for others. I am glade that the group feels the same way and action has been taken against them. I hope that newbies reading this will understand why the group try to vete people before inviting them to munches & events. Personaly the response Ihave read has reinfosed my beleafe that I have made the right disition to get to now members of the group.
I hope that the people how put events together do keep up the good work.
Philg.
Okay I have given this reply some thought, in the circumstances. Here is what I have come up with.
Firstly, as great as the munch was, there were a certain amount of non-SHers lurking about...especially towards the end of the night. I got talking to three quite rough-looking burly rugby players who looked smugger than cats when approached by me regarding their usernames. They had never heard of the site and had somehow picked up some badges. I approached them on the dance floor - where they stood ogling the sexy sexy ladies dancing their stilettoes were not hassling as such but were definitely 'getting a good look'. I got their names and their intentions and left it at that - as I say - they were not threatening, just definitely not part of our community, and definitely enjoying the show. I didnt mention it to Steph because it was so obvioulsy a public bar that I think it would have been hard to get rid of them.
Now, as a few others have said, if we hold a munch in a venue as public as that, and we walk around with hardly any clothes on, problems like this are BOUND to happen.
I know as much as any other woman that what men do is wrong - let's face
it some are brainless when faced with alcohol and provocatively dressed women. As one example, my dancing partner (lovely though she is) was wearing hold ups and a skirt shorter than a hankie. There was tight PVC, 10-inch heels...boobs almost popping out....I was not exactly 'covered up' myself and am not criticising. But when ignorant guys like this see this kind of get-up...and girls snogging girls and very sexy names on badges and people playing pool that quite frankly bordered on foreplay
and men squeezing bums etc etc etc....they do not stop to think about their actions and just try to jump onboard and act the same as everyone else.
If some groped and did not take no for an answer it is because they are stupid and have no manners or respect. But at the end of the day we get that anywhere we go and I for one would not rush to security. A punch in the face is a good idea but being the non-violent type it is not something I would actually do.
I think what has been established with this thread is that we need to ensure munches are held in purely private venues. I know Steph had booked a private room but as numbers went down we had to remain in the bar area. So hardly her fault.
I just wanted to make my comments. I had a great munch, regardless.
Firstly, as great as the munch was, there were a certain amount of non-SHers lurking about...especially towards the end of the night. I got talking to three quite rough-looking burly rugby players who looked smugger than cats when approached by me regarding their usernames. They had never heard of the site and had somehow picked up some badges. I approached them on the dance floor - where they stood ogling the sexy sexy ladies dancing their stilettoes were not hassling as such but were definitely 'getting a good look'. I got their names and their intentions and left it at that - as I say - they were not threatening, just definitely not part of our community, and definitely enjoying the show. I didnt mention it to Steph because it was so obvioulsy a public bar that I think it would have been hard to get rid of them.
Now, as a few others have said, if we hold a munch in a venue as public as that, and we walk around with hardly any clothes on, problems like this are BOUND to happen.
I know as much as any other woman that what men do is wrong - let's face
it some are brainless when faced with alcohol and provocatively dressed women. As one example, my dancing partner (lovely though she is) was wearing hold ups and a skirt shorter than a hankie. There was tight PVC, 10-inch heels...boobs almost popping out....I was not exactly 'covered up' myself and am not criticising. But when ignorant guys like this see this kind of get-up...and girls snogging girls and very sexy names on badges and people playing pool that quite frankly bordered on foreplay
and men squeezing bums etc etc etc....they do not stop to think about their actions and just try to jump onboard and act the same as everyone else.If some groped and did not take no for an answer it is because they are stupid and have no manners or respect. But at the end of the day we get that anywhere we go and I for one would not rush to security. A punch in the face is a good idea but being the non-violent type it is not something I would actually do.
I think what has been established with this thread is that we need to ensure munches are held in purely private venues. I know Steph had booked a private room but as numbers went down we had to remain in the bar area. So hardly her fault.
I just wanted to make my comments. I had a great munch, regardless.
Quote by SunBunny
If some groped and did not take no for an answer it is because they are stupid and have no manners or respect. But at the end of the day we get that anywhere we go and I for one would not rush to security. A punch in the face is a good idea but being the non-violent type it is not something I would actually do.
I think what has been established with this thread is that we need to ensure munches are held in purely private venues. I know Steph had booked a private room but as numbers went down we had to remain in the bar area. So hardly her fault.
I just wanted to make my comments. I had a great munch, regardless.
Let's say you were out on a hen night, probably not snogging other girls , but still maybe dressed provocatively. Some guy that you've never met before grabs your arse, what you gonna do about it? Let it slide as it's a public bar? Let's say the same guy does it again, what you gonna do about it? Let it slide as you're provocatively dressed and so you were probably asking for it? Fuck that! If it was someone that is a member of the site he needs educating about general 'rules of engagement', if he's not a member of the site he needs educating that it's just not acceptable.
Let's face it, go down pretty much any high street late night at the weekend and you'll come across women scantily clad, do they get groped? If so what do they do about it?
I think the venue was irrelevant, a munch is supposed to be a normal, purely social, but liberated, environment, agreed they are normally held in a more private location, but I would have no problems going there again. I would be more vigilant against those that might wish to molest my friends, but I wouldn’t be put off going.
Chris
Quote by marmalaid
I would have no problems going there again. I would be more vigilant against those that might wish to molest my friends, but I wouldn’t be put off going.
Chris
Nor would I Chris. Nor should anyone. Yes we get this behaviour anywhere and it is unacceptable. But I would PREFER a more private venue, thats all. Private parties are meant to be that. So we can play freely amongst likeminded friends and not provoke ignorant hangers-on who stumble upon a munch and mistake our behaviour for something they can join in with. Public place . Public playing.
I am not criticising the venue - just saying that this is to be expected, given the brain activity of horny young men.
Quote by SunBunny
I would have no problems going there again. I would be more vigilant against those that might wish to molest my friends, but I wouldn’t be put off going.
Chris
Nor would I Chris. Nor should anyone. Yes we get this behaviour anywhere and it is unacceptable. But I would PREFER a more private venue, thats all. Private parties are meant to be that. So we can play freely amongst likeminded friends and not provoke ignorant hangers-on who stumble upon a munch and mistake our behaviour for something they can join in with. Public place . Public playing.
I am not criticising the venue - just saying that this is to be expected, given the brain activity of horny young men.
Understood and accepted SB, I agree with you wholeheartedly, but I would add one thing to your last statement if I may;
I am not criticising the venue - just saying that, given the brain activity of horny young men, this is to be expected, but not tolerated.
Sorry, I also had to change the construction to make it sound right after I had amended it.
This addition brings us full circle to reporting the 'errors' of those less informed.
Chris
Quote by SunBunny
Private parties are meant to be that. So we can play freely amongst likeminded friends and not provoke ignorant hangers-on who stumble upon a munch and mistake our behaviour for something they can join in with. Public place . Public playing.
But this wasn't a private party - it was a munch and as such there shouldn't have been any playing. That's the point of munches. Surely it's to meet others in a SOCAL setting without any pressures of play? Private function is a more suitable term. See threads passim for the discussions about the differences between parties and munches - seems very clear to me.
:P
Quote by Jags
But this wasn't a private party - it was a munch and as such there shouldn't have been any playing. That's the point of munches. Surely it's to meet others in a SOCAL setting without any pressures of play? Private function is a more suitable term. See threads passim for the discussions about the differences between parties and munches - seems very clear to me.
:P
Yes perhaps it was the wrong word but there was more 'activity' than you would find on an average night out. Its about mood, isn't it? Guys pick up on the sexy vibe and by playing I mean girls snogging, bums flashing, everyone being very 'friendly'. It is what makes a munch and I love it all . I have snogged many many girls and do not disagree with it - jesus - but if done in a public place repeatedly and with such obvious enjoyment, these ignorant men (I am not generalising but specifying) will take it as an invitation to try their luck.
I will check out the thread you mention though.
And yes Chris you are right it should NOT be tolerated. But if it is causing a problem - do something about it. No point moaning about it afterwards. Just get someone to have a word, maybe ask them to leave. As would be done on a friday night in any pub, when some of the lads have been on the hard stuff and the girls are showing their bits. I wouldn't tolerate it - absolutely. But I didn't see any trouble that night, apart from some well dodgy impostors.
