Here is something controversial.
I was reading a post, it made me think, are their things that we do not tell are partners, something that we would tell a friend, a special friend.
I know there are things I have told one or two here that I would not/have not told my partner. Something I judge she does not want to hear. Perhaps she thinks the same.
So I was thinking are about plying her friend to get just one answer, just one answer to a question that we have both danced around for years.
OK I am not going to do it!....but would it be an invasion of her privacy? ...or a attempt to help her face something?
So the controversial bit. Is it right to hunt down the answer to this question? Do you hide things from your partner? What would you do if you friend said to you "Your husband thinks you fear being naked in front of other women." or something like that.
I will give you my answer now. I am not going to go hunting for the answer to this question. I am going to give W all the time, room and opportunity to tell me herself. If a woman asked me about her husband I have no idea what I would say. Probably some bland advise about talking to him.
Travis
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Things you would not tell your partner? Controversial?
Sex God
not sure if this is the same thing but here goes
i have chatted and had indepth conversations with some friends recently that i have not had such deep conversations with my partner ... not because i cannt talk to him but because it is easier to chat to someone you have known years longer and also that has gone through a similar thing as well and i have possibly helped them through or i know they have gone through before and therefore have been to the dark place i found myself in. (and for those that have helped
)
i know i can talk to my partner but perhaps because we have not been together for years and know each other inside out (yet) that i find i possibly need a friends ear rather than his ... or perhaps its that i need more than just his point of view perhaps the point of view from another female or perhaps i want or need to hear the truth not something from someone who does not want to hurt me further
i am not sure if this is clear but heyho lol
i have chatted and had indepth conversations with some friends recently that i have not had such deep conversations with my partner ... not because i cannt talk to him but because it is easier to chat to someone you have known years longer and also that has gone through a similar thing as well and i have possibly helped them through or i know they have gone through before and therefore have been to the dark place i found myself in. (and for those that have helped
)i know i can talk to my partner but perhaps because we have not been together for years and know each other inside out (yet) that i find i possibly need a friends ear rather than his ... or perhaps its that i need more than just his point of view perhaps the point of view from another female or perhaps i want or need to hear the truth not something from someone who does not want to hurt me further
i am not sure if this is clear but heyho lol
Sex God
I would love to be in a relationship that was 100% honest: never happened to me thus far.
I think there are always things I would speak to friends about first - am not saying I wouldn't tell my partner after I had spoken to them - but sometimes you need the objective friend advice first.
I'd also like to think I'd meet someone who wouldn't judge me: that hasn't happened yet either.
I suppose I'm a pragmatist; in favour of selective honesty whilst wishing for complete honesty... Dunno.
I think there are always things I would speak to friends about first - am not saying I wouldn't tell my partner after I had spoken to them - but sometimes you need the objective friend advice first.
I'd also like to think I'd meet someone who wouldn't judge me: that hasn't happened yet either.
I suppose I'm a pragmatist; in favour of selective honesty whilst wishing for complete honesty... Dunno.
Yes leave room for someone not to feel pressured and hurt...and they are doing the same. So when do we come out and say it? When we feel it is safe.
Dare I say that it is easier to offend friends than my wife, and in this case e-friends. Something I have said I did not believe in. I think I have just convinced myself I was wrong.
Travis
Dare I say that it is easier to offend friends than my wife, and in this case e-friends. Something I have said I did not believe in. I think I have just convinced myself I was wrong.
Travis
I think there is also the element of living with the person you have asked/told. Your friends don't live with you and if they don't like what you asked/said, then they can leave and go back to their own lives, never bringing up the subject again. If it is really controversial you run the risk of losing a friend, but that is vastly different from losing a spouse.
I'm afraid I am intensely curious, and if I wanted to know something, I'd try really hard to get someone to tell me. I would never ask directly though, as I'm always terrified of conflict and avoid it at all costs. I'd just steer conversations round to the subject I want answered and hope they took the hint. Or got careless. Then I'd grill them :rascal:
I never hold a grudge though, so if I didn't like what I found out, I might get a bit upset and then move on.
I'm afraid I am intensely curious, and if I wanted to know something, I'd try really hard to get someone to tell me. I would never ask directly though, as I'm always terrified of conflict and avoid it at all costs. I'd just steer conversations round to the subject I want answered and hope they took the hint. Or got careless. Then I'd grill them :rascal:
I never hold a grudge though, so if I didn't like what I found out, I might get a bit upset and then move on.
i guess this is the bonus of having a fb, and not a bf.
we are only mates sexually,that makes it sound horrid, its not, least i dont think it is lol. we are very different out side of sex, but very compatible sexually. we are mates. being like that and not emotionally involved or in a relationship means he could ask me any thing and i would not think twice about answering in full honesty.
its very lovely to feel that comfortable with him and open.
if however we were not like that i wouldnt go to a friend of his asking questions, if i really wanted to know i think i might write to him.
xx fem xx
we are only mates sexually,that makes it sound horrid, its not, least i dont think it is lol. we are very different out side of sex, but very compatible sexually. we are mates. being like that and not emotionally involved or in a relationship means he could ask me any thing and i would not think twice about answering in full honesty.
its very lovely to feel that comfortable with him and open.
if however we were not like that i wouldnt go to a friend of his asking questions, if i really wanted to know i think i might write to him.
xx fem xx
We have lived separate lives in the past and are now together for good. Each of us have played, and met others for recreational sex. We both feel that it is better to have no secrets and to build our house on stone. We have told each other about all our experiences and with whom.
This for us is the way to be able to totally trust each other and have a happy and loving relationship together.
How could we swing with others if we cant have that trust in each other.
This for us is the way to be able to totally trust each other and have a happy and loving relationship together.
How could we swing with others if we cant have that trust in each other.
