The 23½ things Girls should know about Lads
1. After sex when your making your way to the bathroom, were always laid naked in bed thinking were a pornstar. (Or in some cases halfway out of the front door)
2. When were on COD, don't kiss us, grasp us from behind, or even try to communicate with us in any way shape or form. Were playing COD, not acting out 'The Hills'.
3. When we say 'It's a lads thing' were usually lying, we just don't want you there, pissing us off.
4. Don't think it's cute to Eat/Drink the last bit of something we have, it fucks us off and generally leaves us wanting to stab you in the face.
5. Upon reaching sexual climax, were generally thinking of someone else.
6. The way we act around you when were alone together should NEVER be acted out anywhere in-front of anybody.
7. When you offer to pay for half of something, you have no idea how heart-wrenching it is to decline it.
8. We may joke about wanting to sleep with your Mum, but rest assured, given half the chance we'd pound it.
9. Lads find nothing more unattractive than a crying Female.
10. When were walking down the street with you, we try our best to make eye contact with any remotely good looking girls.
11. Don't think it's romantic waking us up in a morning, were usually fucked and are in need of rest. This only applies if your not holding a breakfast or sucking our cock.
12. Don't pretend to like Football, we really hate that.
13. If you ever do gain the honour of coming in pub with us, at-least buy a fucking round.
14. Were not really interested if you have come, just as long as we have.
15. Don't get friendly with our family, your probably not going to be around for long.
16. Were always wishing you could be as fit as other people girlfriends.
17. Embarrassing you is thee single most rewarding thing we can do to you.
18. If you must kiss us, do it quickly, were probably busy.
19. Please dont ask us to cuddle you in public, its gay.
20. If we get over exited watching an old Arnie film and decide to throw you through a wall, dont get upset, you actually gain credit.
21. When we ask how many lads you have been with, were not being jealous, were merely being cautious of AIDS.
22. Is it so hard to go on the pill or get the coil? Sex with a condom is just fucking terrible.
23. The key to a good healthy relationship is giving your man sex on tap.
½. Just let us fucking Bum you. We ask you enough
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This made me laugh so much today:
will think of some to add .......Quote by Kaznkev
well as the clever ladies seem to be in bed early......
4)when she says"i like your mate Dave hes funny" she wants to shag dave
5)"Dave should meet xxxxx" she wants to find out if Dave is a good shag
6)"Daves not coming round again is he?".....shes shagged Dave
7)"yes i love 69" means "anything to get you to go down on me for a decent lenght of time "
8)"can we stay at another hotel, chains are so soulless"........thats where i shagged Dave
9) "No it's ok, your tired, we can talk about it in the morning" actually means, "If you don't wake up and listen to me now you will have some serious making up to do in the morning Mr!!!!!"
10)When she agrees to give you a lift to the pub she expects to be invited in.
11)When she says not to make a fuss on her birthday/ anniversary /Christmas you'd better if you want a shag that night.
12) Does my bum look big in this.... LIE!
