This may have already done the rounds but................
10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; Teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6 - Some people are like a Slinky... Not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5 - Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you 50 quid and a substantial
tax cut saves you 50p?
2 - In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions of
cars in Britain......But we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of
illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
DVLA in charge of immigration.......
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
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Thoughts for today
Quote by Alexandra
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; Teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a Slinky... Not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Sassy wipes the coffee from the moniter again
: 
Master of Sex
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything....where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything....where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
