Hi there everyone. We've been members a little while and have no problems making contact with girls interested in 3somes. They say yes, but then when it comes to it, disappear! We have been told this is quite usual! We've tried again with Extra's and everything, will send pics, are totally open and honest, and fairly good looking (well, in real life people think so anyway!), where are we going wrong? Please help!!!
love david and carol
xxxxxxxxx
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hi,
welcome to the forums.
i probally wont be the first to say it but i couldnt say where your going wrong as i wasnt privey( nor do i want to be ) to the way the process and conversations were conducted.
there are many reasons why this has happened, maybe you came across as to pushy? maybe it got to convo about what was going to happen? rather than what might.
what i mean by that is i know i get cold if the convo is all sex sex sex and expectations.
its easier to get to know people via a social side, attend munches, socials and offer to meet just for a drink. never plan sex on the first meeting just a drink, then theres alot less presure.
maybe youve been talking to men?
its always worth sending a pm and asking in best interest what went wrong? if they dont reply leave it be. but say you dont expect it to now change things re them and you , but would be good feed back to move forward?
xxx fem xx
welcome to the forums.
i probally wont be the first to say it but i couldnt say where your going wrong as i wasnt privey( nor do i want to be ) to the way the process and conversations were conducted.
there are many reasons why this has happened, maybe you came across as to pushy? maybe it got to convo about what was going to happen? rather than what might.
what i mean by that is i know i get cold if the convo is all sex sex sex and expectations.
its easier to get to know people via a social side, attend munches, socials and offer to meet just for a drink. never plan sex on the first meeting just a drink, then theres alot less presure.
maybe youve been talking to men?
its always worth sending a pm and asking in best interest what went wrong? if they dont reply leave it be. but say you dont expect it to now change things re them and you , but would be good feed back to move forward?
xxx fem xx
Thanks for that, appreciate it. Hope we haven't been talking to men, lol!
Thing is, we always give so much, talk about ourselves, willing to be laid back, don't expect anything without getting to know them, wouldn't want to go that route anyway etc etc. Not sure what more we can do, maybe we're just mingers haha!
Maybe its just a numbers game and we need to persist.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to write back
xx
Thing is, we always give so much, talk about ourselves, willing to be laid back, don't expect anything without getting to know them, wouldn't want to go that route anyway etc etc. Not sure what more we can do, maybe we're just mingers haha!
Maybe its just a numbers game and we need to persist.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to write back
xx
Hi, welcome!
For me, time is a huge issue. I have exchanged e-mails with people that I'd love to meet with, but finding the time is very hard! I am always very honest about this. Maybe others are in the same situation, just not communicating this to you.
The other point is that some people may be very mentally turned on by the idea of a 3some, but suddenly feel very scared at the 'crunch' point!! Again, it would probably help you if they were honest and open about this if this is the case!
Sorry I can't give you much advice...only trying to understand where they may be coming from!
xx
For me, time is a huge issue. I have exchanged e-mails with people that I'd love to meet with, but finding the time is very hard! I am always very honest about this. Maybe others are in the same situation, just not communicating this to you.
The other point is that some people may be very mentally turned on by the idea of a 3some, but suddenly feel very scared at the 'crunch' point!! Again, it would probably help you if they were honest and open about this if this is the case!
Sorry I can't give you much advice...only trying to understand where they may be coming from!
xx
Sex God
Quote by Bjlips2008
Hi, welcome!
For me, time is a huge issue. I have exchanged e-mails with people that I'd love to meet with, but finding the time is very hard! I am always very honest about this. Maybe others are in the same situation, just not communicating this to you.
The other point is that some people may be very mentally turned on by the idea of a 3some, but suddenly feel very scared at the 'crunch' point!! Again, it would probably help you if they were honest and open about this if this is the case!
Sorry I can't give you much advice...only trying to understand where they may be coming from!
xx
Exactly the same for me. Being a single parent who doesn't drive and atm short on child minders is a major issue for me. I always make this quite clear to people but they don't seem to listen. I too hate pushy people..
Good luck
I've had a look at your profile and your advert. The first thing I would say is that personally I don't think it is a good idea to include the same information twice. Meaning that your advert says exactly the same as your profile, so anyone going to your profile after reading your ad has nothing more to learn except...
If they are bi curious and not sure about themselves or the situation due to being very new you will get cross if they back out. If that was me I wouldn't go there for fear of being called a timewaster by you.
I would even go as far as to say the last statement contradicts what you are saying above. It reads very much like you will look after any bi curious lady and give them time to get to know you, but woe betide the lady who decides you are not for them as they will have wasted your time. Surely the point of emailing and getting to know someone is in order to make that decision?
Your photo's are ok, but not really giving a lot a way. You could add a few more, most couples usually have 2 or 3 pics of the lady at least.
I also think that after chatting on msn for a little while (which is better than email ping pong) you should arrange to meet for a day time coffee or evening drink in a public area. This will set them at ease and keep the expectations down to flirtatious and hopeful. The more sexual detail swapped the more doubts and concerns can develop. Leave it with the option that should you all click and get on then you can go home together or get a hotel from there etc.
Lastly as a single woman I am alway aware of my own vunerabilty and going to someone elses home having never met them before is just not going to happen. If this is what you are suggesting you may have your answer.
Good luck x
If they are bi curious and not sure about themselves or the situation due to being very new you will get cross if they back out. If that was me I wouldn't go there for fear of being called a timewaster by you.
I would even go as far as to say the last statement contradicts what you are saying above. It reads very much like you will look after any bi curious lady and give them time to get to know you, but woe betide the lady who decides you are not for them as they will have wasted your time. Surely the point of emailing and getting to know someone is in order to make that decision?
Your photo's are ok, but not really giving a lot a way. You could add a few more, most couples usually have 2 or 3 pics of the lady at least.
I also think that after chatting on msn for a little while (which is better than email ping pong) you should arrange to meet for a day time coffee or evening drink in a public area. This will set them at ease and keep the expectations down to flirtatious and hopeful. The more sexual detail swapped the more doubts and concerns can develop. Leave it with the option that should you all click and get on then you can go home together or get a hotel from there etc.
Lastly as a single woman I am alway aware of my own vunerabilty and going to someone elses home having never met them before is just not going to happen. If this is what you are suggesting you may have your answer.
Good luck x
My comments.. I find your profile and your advert a little aggresive.
You say you are a couple but its clear that a man has written the profile, a man has written the advert and a man is doing the posting.
So I would wonder if what you want is what your partner wants?
Anway :welcome: to the site!
Happy Hunting
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You say you are a couple but its clear that a man has written the profile, a man has written the advert and a man is doing the posting.
So I would wonder if what you want is what your partner wants?
Anway :welcome: to the site!
Happy Hunting
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lol! You're right there, it was done by me, but that's only because I work from home a lot and get more time.
In fact she's got really p****d off with the whole thing because of the let downs we've had, carol really felt quite rejected as she had developed quite a relationship with two people specifically. I tend to do the 'numbers game' bit and send out millions of messages in reply to ads and then let her develop the relationship from there. I quite understand that other women may well want to communicate more with carol than with me and am happy to take a back seat that way.
Interested that you think the ad is quite aggressive coz I thought it was fairly laid back! Lol! Shows how crap men are eh! Any suggestions as to why its aggressive and how we should tone it down? Maybe just get carol to write it?
I can assure you though carol is no less keen than I, one of the great things about our relationship is our communication and togetherness. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing anything unless carol was too. Would be too scared without her moral support for one thing, so I can understand how single girls must feel. Perhaps this is just the wrong medium to attract what we're looking for
xx
In fact she's got really p****d off with the whole thing because of the let downs we've had, carol really felt quite rejected as she had developed quite a relationship with two people specifically. I tend to do the 'numbers game' bit and send out millions of messages in reply to ads and then let her develop the relationship from there. I quite understand that other women may well want to communicate more with carol than with me and am happy to take a back seat that way.
Interested that you think the ad is quite aggressive coz I thought it was fairly laid back! Lol! Shows how crap men are eh! Any suggestions as to why its aggressive and how we should tone it down? Maybe just get carol to write it?
I can assure you though carol is no less keen than I, one of the great things about our relationship is our communication and togetherness. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing anything unless carol was too. Would be too scared without her moral support for one thing, so I can understand how single girls must feel. Perhaps this is just the wrong medium to attract what we're looking for
xx
If anyone has the time, (and we appreciate that you may not be bothered!) take a look at our updated ad and see what you think.
Written by both of us this time-well, typed by david, but content discussed and agreed by both!
All comments very welcome, and thanks for taking the time, all been very helpful and filled us with renewed enthusiasm-it seems unfair to deny the female world our beauty and personalities-we owe it them to acheive our aim! haha xxxxxxxxxx
Written by both of us this time-well, typed by david, but content discussed and agreed by both!
All comments very welcome, and thanks for taking the time, all been very helpful and filled us with renewed enthusiasm-it seems unfair to deny the female world our beauty and personalities-we owe it them to acheive our aim! haha xxxxxxxxxx
Sex God
I can gues that you have obviously taken a lot of the above on board even though I did not see your original.
The only thing I would say about your profile now is that you sound 'very together'.
From previous threads on the subject one of the biggest fears of the 'third' person is that during the sex you two are going to go off on one together and leave the poor girl feeling like an outsider. This has been a real problem for some in practice.
The other thing is that I quite honestly don't think many will get many actual MFFs from merely posting adverts or a profile (I may be wrong). But I reckon that most of the females who want to do that want to get to know people much better beforehand and can usually do so in the forum here.
Best bet is to hang around in here - get yerselves (both) known a bit and you'll have a much better chance. Takes time but in the end it is worth it.
.
The only thing I would say about your profile now is that you sound 'very together'.
From previous threads on the subject one of the biggest fears of the 'third' person is that during the sex you two are going to go off on one together and leave the poor girl feeling like an outsider. This has been a real problem for some in practice.
The other thing is that I quite honestly don't think many will get many actual MFFs from merely posting adverts or a profile (I may be wrong). But I reckon that most of the females who want to do that want to get to know people much better beforehand and can usually do so in the forum here.
Best bet is to hang around in here - get yerselves (both) known a bit and you'll have a much better chance. Takes time but in the end it is worth it.
.
Sex God
Quote by westerross
Best bet is to hang around in here -.
.
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Ive bin hanging around that long mi arms are dropping off
Hello, its carol here this time. laughed when I saw that one message said wasn't sure I was that keen, then another said we might be too 'together' 
Well, I am keen, given the chance, just a bit more shy so let him do the work,
Thanks to all who sent advice, we'll try the forums etc. Never realised that our views in the large hadron collider might get us laid, but whatever works!
There seem to be miilions of us couple looking for that single girl, suprised not more people ask the same q's as us.
Its fun just being involved anyway so hope to chat to loads of you sometime
Carol x
Well, I am keen, given the chance, just a bit more shy so let him do the work,
Thanks to all who sent advice, we'll try the forums etc. Never realised that our views in the large hadron collider might get us laid, but whatever works!
There seem to be miilions of us couple looking for that single girl, suprised not more people ask the same q's as us.
Its fun just being involved anyway so hope to chat to loads of you sometime
Carol x
Sex God
Quote by Yummy3somesx
Hello, its carol here this time. laughed when I saw that one message said wasn't sure I was that keen, then another said we might be too 'together'
Did you not read on to see why I said that you appear to very together.
I wasn't being critical. There is nothing wrong with being 'together' - Angelica and I are very together.
What I'm saying is that that factor can be quite intimidating to a single person whom you are inviting into your bed or wherever. The fear being that you are suddenly going to get engrossed in eachother and exclude them. It does happen and can be very hurtful.
It was a clear fear to more than one person when this was discussed on a previous thread some time ago.
Anyway if you think that the idea warrants a
then feel free to ignore what was a well intentioned comment.Besides, I think what I said at the end is far more relevant than what you put in yer ad or profile.
.
Oh no! I didn't mean anything like that all! Just thought it was ironic, that's all, didn't know that the really meant anything serious, please don't think I meant anything bad at all. So sorry if I gave offence, please accept my apologies? Am very grateful for all the advice and the fact that you take the time to answer our questions. Was nervous about coming on here anyway, now I feel bad! Just a mis-understanding about the significance of the emoticon, sorry again! xx
really meant anything serious, please don't think I meant anything bad at all. So sorry if I gave offence, please accept my apologies? Am very grateful for all the advice and the fact that you take the time to answer our questions. Was nervous about coming on here anyway, now I feel bad! Just a mis-understanding about the significance of the emoticon, sorry again! xx 
Sex God
Hi yummy's
Blimey don't feel bad about anything in the forum unless you think its warranted. The place is quirky and can be a bit off-putting at the start as everything you put down has to be a measured and thought about response. If it isn't youe as sure as hell going to find someone ready to pick you up on something you never intended or saw in your posting.
I think that tune has a point about many single fems and that it may take more time in striking up a relationship prior to jumping their bones, or they yours. The dynamics are i'm sure different. Imagine yourself being a single female meeting up 'cold' with a couple, not easy eh? Not easy for a single guy either but to be honest there are so many more of them on this site.
The social scene is vibrant and active within SH with many rooms holding their own mini social events also in the 'lets meet up' section there are, amongst other things, other bigger events going on as well. Great places to network and get to know people interested in yourselves.
I hope you have every success here and above all enjoy the site for all of the things it offers. The longer you are around and involved then the greaer your experiences will be. We don't advertise for single fems but for some reason we have now met a few through socialising.
Blimey don't feel bad about anything in the forum unless you think its warranted. The place is quirky and can be a bit off-putting at the start as everything you put down has to be a measured and thought about response. If it isn't youe as sure as hell going to find someone ready to pick you up on something you never intended or saw in your posting.
I think that tune has a point about many single fems and that it may take more time in striking up a relationship prior to jumping their bones, or they yours. The dynamics are i'm sure different. Imagine yourself being a single female meeting up 'cold' with a couple, not easy eh? Not easy for a single guy either but to be honest there are so many more of them on this site.
The social scene is vibrant and active within SH with many rooms holding their own mini social events also in the 'lets meet up' section there are, amongst other things, other bigger events going on as well. Great places to network and get to know people interested in yourselves.
I hope you have every success here and above all enjoy the site for all of the things it offers. The longer you are around and involved then the greaer your experiences will be. We don't advertise for single fems but for some reason we have now met a few through socialising.
Sex God
Quote by Yummy3somesx
Oh no! I didn't mean anything like that all! Just thought it was ironic, that's all, didn't know that the
Sorry for misunderstanding your misunderstanding then
P'raps I was relying on a particular significance of that emoticon, which has been used quite a lot around here lately with fairly critical intent. I can see that if it is done with a smile on yer face then it is a different thing all together.
Do try and stick around here a bit more. It really is the finest way to get to meet people (eventually) - socially at first but then possibly with a bit more on the agenda.
.
It's so working!
New approach and profile seems to be paying off already. Don't want to get our hopes up but seem to have attracted genuine and experienced lovely girl, not just first timer!
Thank you so much to everyone who helped us with advice and encouragement, you're fab!!!!!
We know it may not come off, but there's a different feel already!
Thanks all again-even peanut! Lol!
C & D
xxxxxxxxxx
New approach and profile seems to be paying off already. Don't want to get our hopes up but seem to have attracted genuine and experienced lovely girl, not just first timer!
Thank you so much to everyone who helped us with advice and encouragement, you're fab!!!!!
We know it may not come off, but there's a different feel already!
Thanks all again-even peanut! Lol!
C & D
xxxxxxxxxx
