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Time Waster or Sour Grapes?

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Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I assure you it is true, happened last Friday night.
I would name and shame but it would probably be removed.

You wasn't asked to name and shame, you was asked to report it. Naming and Shaming is against the AUP. Only if people take the time to report people who are abusing the site, can we actually take action and doing anything about it.
Well said NWC. I hope that IF there are others out there who use this forum, who are doing what this other guy is, then hopefully they will think again. cool Or face Woo's banned island rather pronto. lol
Quote by sparky33
I'd also consider a time waster to be someone that plays ping pong then it goes nowhere.
I'm not referring to friendly correspondence.

I'd be very careful with assuming someone is a time waster .. I know exactly what you mean as we've had our fair share of those, however we've also been guilty of starting down that route with all good intentions and real life has stepped in and dealt us a blow or three. Sometimes these things happen.
I know it happens though and how frustrating it is but there are plenty of good people on the site and you just have to suck it up and move on (you and is in the royal you, rather than you personally).
Maybe it would be better to change your way of thinking about this place and look apon it as a way to make friends and maybe get laid, not get laid then make friends.
That's what I tend to do and so far it seems to work for me and I have also discovered that most couples and indeed single females find a sense of humour and good manners, more of a incentive to meet ,than a big dick. wink
I'm not saying you don't have any of the two or even the three I have stated but first and foremost I treat this site as a place where I have made friends and will make more I hope, rather than a short cut to sexual heaven :wink:
Quote by sparky33
I'm not fussed which order it comes in to be honest, I have no priority, just so long as it accupies my time.

I want to reply to this but I'm afraid it may come across as negative against you personally and it isn't meant too, so please take it is in the spirit it's meant!
This is what puts me off single men in general ... "just so long as it occupies my time", it's doesn't instill my with any confidence that the single male is interested in my needs. I might of course be very wrong about the person, but first impressions count and the desperation of single males (join and generally moan when they haven't got laid) and the throwaway shag attitude.
Sparky I'm not saying that you are like this but it's a general observation of how you (and other single males)sometimes come across sad
Quote by venus68
I had a lunch meeting with a woman from a cheating/dating site. Now after a few phone calls, chats etc it was obvious that had very little upon which to form a decent realtionship. Practicalities were such that it was unlikely we could meet in a reliable or consistent way. Therefore I had a growing feeling that we were doomed not to consummate ourselves with the glory of a nice little bonk.
However we still met just to check each other out, practice our social and flirting/dating skills, have a friendly lunch and experience the human contact instead of through the media. We met in a bar she uses a lot, so she felt safe as she was known there.
Maybe its just our age being 50 plus that made something like this a do-able thing. But I appreciated the fact that the woman came to meet me and made the effort to be friendly. We split the bill and had an enjoyable interlude in our lives.
We were both fine about not proceeding, and it was satisfying to have done this and effectively draw a line under the events and knocked it on the head. Although I suspect we both felt that if we had found each other irrestistible we would have done the deed in a hotel on the day. But that wasn't the case.
So what made us bother? We had both worked on our phone calls, emails etc and things looked like they had some kind of prospect. We had got on well in those early stages, so it looked likley that we might find each other a potential partner.
So I think that is where one needs to be careful when opening a new relationship. Exercise some caution and look at the practicalities of what will or won't work, before taking the next step.

I'm not sure how this relates to the topic? There must have been initial attraction for you both to continue discussing meeting? If there wasn't any attraction would you have continued?
Personally I just don't have enough free time or opportunity to meet everyone who is interested in me. It's just not possible. Without a process of selection I'd been wasting loads of people's time as I would be continually putting them off and apologising for not being able to meet until the year dot, but they were in a queue. (sounds a bit like it is now actually).
There have been times when I have said, sorry but not for me and they have responded in a way where we have striked up conversation and my mind has been changed, but that is also rare.
Sometimes we just have to accept that we are not what is being looked for. Believe me there are loads and loads of married guys on here I fancy the pants off, but I wouldn't dream of approaching them as a single straight woman when I can see on their profile they are looking to play as a couple with a bi female. What would be the point?
We had developed a rapport with each other and had found several things to talk about and have fun with them. It seemed natural to check ourselves out in the flesh. But mainly she trusted me enough to make the meeting, despite both our feeling that it was unlikely we would become partners. Although as I said we are both randy enough to consider having a quickie, should we have felt like it. One off's can be quite a thrill.
Obviously there was something there that made us do this. In my case I am using a website which has already been successful sexually and also in making potential new partners. Usually that involves meeting for lunch and taking it on from there. So I figured that it was still possible we might hit it off. I think she was intrigued by me and found me to be slightly unusual and worth a peep. Plus she is a lady who lunches.
So were we wasting each other's time? In one aspect we were but in another it was like old friends, former lovers or work colleagues. Or simply two souls looking for possibilities and a break from the routine. Age may have something to do with it, in that it was worth knowing that we didn't miss the fuck of our lives, and we can get back to finding what's right for each of us. But we won't know what the lady thought about this.
But I think for anyone who doesn't want to get caught up in being 'pursued', they need alternative email addresses and mobile numbers to test out their potential new partners. Then if they see unusual amounts of traffic or unpleasant stuff its not going into their personal area. They can wait until the person cools off.
Meetings can be held in public places, the more traditional and formal the better for a first encounter. Not your local pub or favourite spot.
Doing something that may only cost time or relatively little expense is still possible and worth considering.
I've been on this site about 5 years and never had a meet....
.................shit I've just realised I am a timewaster redface surprisedops: :oops:
Quote by niceguysdoexist
I've been on this site about 5 years and never had a meet....
.................shit I've just realised I am a timewaster redface surprisedops: :oops:

No!! Not!!
.
Quote by foxylady2209
The guy sounds seriously insecure. Probably the worst condition to be for a swinger.
My ha'p'orth. I wouldn't consider someone a timewaster unless we had agreed to meet up, made definite arrangements and they then called it off with no intention to meet. But that is almost impossible to judge - things come up, relatives arrive. All sorts of reason to cancel at the last minute. Even getting cold feet is ok - we should always go with our gut feelings about a meet.
I suppose the only way you an really know the are timewasters is if they keep doing it - but even then circumstances could be against it.
As for are you shallow? Well, swinging is hardly a deep, spiritual experience. LOL. Yes, people make friends, develop relationships - but swinging in it's most naked, basic definition is basically shallow - two or more people meet up to enjoy mutual, sexual pleasure. How deep could that be?

We agree totally with this - we are not only here to meet people but to socialise and don't mind the non replies or rejections. We too have to see the faces and know the people before taking things further - its about trust and frienship too. :happy: :happy: :happy:
Quote by westerross
You were joking weren't you?
.

Too some ...most definitely ....to others I somehow doubt it in spite of the huge boil like shape made by my tongue in one side of my face wink