so....
we are not hardened swingers in anyway....frankly quite new to the scene.....
Mrs is very attractive and sexy...and friendly in emails and happy to chat...
but....
why after chatting to people for a while....organizing drinks....do people fall off the planet ???
maybe SH is not the place for serious swingers....who can be serious but still stay relaxed !!
any thoughts ??
x
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It's a long time since I've met anyone off the site - under my old ID a few years back! But I've friends I've known for years on the site and I know they meet other members. I think it's just about patience and finding the right people, as unexciting as that is. You do get a lot of dreamers and cold feet on this type of scene.
I have noticed this site is a little more social than another site I used in the past so perhaps the answer is to try to get to a social at some point?
I have noticed this site is a little more social than another site I used in the past so perhaps the answer is to try to get to a social at some point?
Sex God
RandM,
as the other post says, keep an eye out for Socials, though also Munches via the Lets Meet Up forum, or perhaps Club Meets forum might be useful, or Commercial Events forum, look at the Events listing - there's always plenty going on most days some where.
also the Chatrooms are good places to get to know people.
Don't panic, the first few weeks are usually the 'hardest' (no pun intended), though once you become more known most people will tend to find lots of friends, usually with benefits
as the other post says, keep an eye out for Socials, though also Munches via the Lets Meet Up forum, or perhaps Club Meets forum might be useful, or Commercial Events forum, look at the Events listing - there's always plenty going on most days some where.
also the Chatrooms are good places to get to know people.
Don't panic, the first few weeks are usually the 'hardest' (no pun intended), though once you become more known most people will tend to find lots of friends, usually with benefits
Sex God
LoL Ben such a martyr fella. Can I come watch? I'll bring J along to keep me in check 
Patience is important if you want to get things right Randm and things will happen given time. Don't get despondent get involved and let things happen at their own pace. You'll do Ok here
Patience is important if you want to get things right Randm and things will happen given time. Don't get despondent get involved and let things happen at their own pace. You'll do Ok here
To answer your question, there is no doubt that there are a number of people, singles and couples alike who enjoy the adrenalin rush of the chase, ie they like the chat-up patter in getting to know people, they get turned on by the thought of meeting but when it comes down to the actuall act of meeting thier passion wavers, the adrenalin levels fall and they lose interest, on to the next person to start the process again.
Luckily not everyone is like that and a lot of successfull meets are made on the site, I can only advise you to check peoples shrep for the amoount of chat they do and the amount of meets they have.
Luckily not everyone is like that and a lot of successfull meets are made on the site, I can only advise you to check peoples shrep for the amoount of chat they do and the amount of meets they have.
Sex God
One day I'm going to to college and learn SHREP lol
Sex God
Quote by Ben_Minx
When I was a boy SHREP was a pup.
Bleedin' Johnnycumlately you are, I remember its mum. Or was it its dad, I forget?
Actually, no, different sort of animal altogether now I think on it, it's all so long ago!RandM, looking at your profile I would have thought you'd have a queue of people knocking down your door, but filtering the genuine from the time-wasting is something of an art. SHREP may help you to some extent, it may be entirely misleading, it depends very much on the people, but nothing is guaranteed. The only thing that works is seeing what people have to say for themselves and then bringing your own good judgement to bear, whether that's in a profile / chat / forum / IRL at a social, whatever. The social route has always been the one I've tended to recommend as it's hard to hide behind a mask when you're standing three feet away from someone, but there are other ways and means. You just have to keep going and see what works for you. Believe me, there's more than enough genuine people on here to go round, you just have to work out how best to find them! ;)
Best of luck.
N
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
SHREP may help you to some extent, it may be entirely misleading, it depends very much on the people, but nothing is guaranteed.
Ain't that the truth... I'm nice according to SHrep :twisted:
x
Orgasminator
Quite a few people come here purely for curiosity, many like the fantasy of swinging but dont follow through for whatever reason; however there are enough genuine people playing to make it worthwhile.
It took me a while to find my feet but it was well worth it, I have had a laugh and met or chatted with some really good people recently. It becomes easier to deal with the 'downs' when you get some good ups (and downs and ups and sideways and 69 and ups agains! :rascal
Thankfully naughty and nice are often the same thing in SH world ;)
It took me a while to find my feet but it was well worth it, I have had a laugh and met or chatted with some really good people recently. It becomes easier to deal with the 'downs' when you get some good ups (and downs and ups and sideways and 69 and ups agains! :rascal
Quote by noladreams
Ain't that the truth... I'm nice according to SHrep :twisted: x
Thankfully naughty and nice are often the same thing in SH world ;)
There has already been some good advice given by my fellow forumites. Go to a social if you have the opportunity.
When one looks at a site like this there is a tendancy to look only from one's own perspective....but if, for instance, you bring to mind the number of premium chat lines, and the like, which are surviving because of sufficient numbers using them, then you get a better handle on things here. Swinging Heaven offers people direct chat, cam to cam, messaging and so on, and all for the membership fees.
Your gripe has been listed many times in the forum, and here are some general guidelines relating to chat, all learned from my own experiences but often echoed in the swinging heaven halls of wisdom.
Never assume that a couple is actually a couple....it's how some guys get attention. If they seem serious then insist they go on cam, can be in a private room, or that the two ladies chat on the telephone.
If chat, or message exchanges, become lengthy then chances are there's a guy jerking off on the other side..you will have been asked all the "what do you like" and "what will you do to her/me" questions. You also may be giving up your location and identity, we hope not, to some idiot who doesn't have a real life. There's no assumption here that women never get involved in the nonsence, it's just much less likely.
Don't be dismayed, there are some lovely and some very sexy people on the site, it's worth taking time to get to know them. If you fancy just getting down to business then the clubs are the usual recommendation, although I have little experience myself, but just ask around.
Have fun.
When one looks at a site like this there is a tendancy to look only from one's own perspective....but if, for instance, you bring to mind the number of premium chat lines, and the like, which are surviving because of sufficient numbers using them, then you get a better handle on things here. Swinging Heaven offers people direct chat, cam to cam, messaging and so on, and all for the membership fees.
Your gripe has been listed many times in the forum, and here are some general guidelines relating to chat, all learned from my own experiences but often echoed in the swinging heaven halls of wisdom.
Never assume that a couple is actually a couple....it's how some guys get attention. If they seem serious then insist they go on cam, can be in a private room, or that the two ladies chat on the telephone.
If chat, or message exchanges, become lengthy then chances are there's a guy jerking off on the other side..you will have been asked all the "what do you like" and "what will you do to her/me" questions. You also may be giving up your location and identity, we hope not, to some idiot who doesn't have a real life. There's no assumption here that women never get involved in the nonsence, it's just much less likely.
Don't be dismayed, there are some lovely and some very sexy people on the site, it's worth taking time to get to know them. If you fancy just getting down to business then the clubs are the usual recommendation, although I have little experience myself, but just ask around.
Have fun.
Hey Guys
thanks for the advice !! lots to digest there.
again, we were let down for a meet tonight.....fell off the planet for 5 days...after chatting to us everyday for a week...then mail out the blue...and cant make it !!
Mrs is a little scared of socials....suppose there is no where to hide and get to know someone a little first...
after all the nice replies we are sure that good people do exist.....now its a matter of finding ones close enough to us and who we click with.
thanks again
xxxx
thanks for the advice !! lots to digest there.
again, we were let down for a meet tonight.....fell off the planet for 5 days...after chatting to us everyday for a week...then mail out the blue...and cant make it !!
Mrs is a little scared of socials....suppose there is no where to hide and get to know someone a little first...
after all the nice replies we are sure that good people do exist.....now its a matter of finding ones close enough to us and who we click with.
thanks again
xxxx
Sexpert
I've been on here for years and I still get caught out despite the experience I've gained. Last monday I was just about to leave for a meet and txt'd the couple to make sure everything was ok for the meet only to get "Piss off" as a reply. I'd chatted loads and they seemed genuine...go figure. I've deleted them off my friends list now, but it makes you wonder what they get out of doing that sort of stuff.
However the real people on here are well worth the time, Had some great meets. So don't let some people get to you because when it works, it works.
However the real people on here are well worth the time, Had some great meets. So don't let some people get to you because when it works, it works.
Why do people add strangers to thier friends list ?
Lot's of friends on a profile tend to put us off, that is lot's of friends and little meet shrep (Swinging Heaven Reports).
If we chat to people in chatrooms or mail each other a few times we add them to our "Favourites List" this way we can find them easily to contact them and view thier profile quickly without having them listed on our profile which might make people they are more to us than they are, nobody goes on our friends list unless we have met them in person which is what the first paragraph of our profile says, though we still get loads of friend requests each day, usually from people outside our meeting criteria (or us outside thiers) or from people a hundred miles away.
Lot's of friends on a profile tend to put us off, that is lot's of friends and little meet shrep (Swinging Heaven Reports).
If we chat to people in chatrooms or mail each other a few times we add them to our "Favourites List" this way we can find them easily to contact them and view thier profile quickly without having them listed on our profile which might make people they are more to us than they are, nobody goes on our friends list unless we have met them in person which is what the first paragraph of our profile says, though we still get loads of friend requests each day, usually from people outside our meeting criteria (or us outside thiers) or from people a hundred miles away.
Sexlightened
Quote by motorcyclerob
I've been on here for years and I still get caught out despite the experience I've gained. Last monday I was just about to leave for a meet and txt'd the couple to make sure everything was ok for the meet only to get "Piss off" as a reply.
what a ledge 