Have been using this site off and on for about 4 years and initially made some good friends and nice contacts. For personal reasons I had to leave the site a year ago and have recently rejoined but am sorry I did. I say this because it now seems that there are quite a few timewasters and wannabes than there used to be. Is it just me or is this quite common? I'll be interested to know of other people's experiences and suggestions on how we can eliminate these people.
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Timewasters
Sex God
Quote by Pussylicker1947
I'll be interested to know of other people's experiences and suggestions on how we can eliminate these people.
In that case, do a quick search and you'll find plenty to think about.
Quote by Pussylicker1947
Have been using this site off and on for about 4 years and initially made some good friends and nice contacts. For personal reasons I had to leave the site a year ago and have recently rejoined but am sorry I did. I say this because it now seems that there are quite a few timewasters and wannabes than there used to be. Is it just me or is this quite common? I'll be interested to know of other people's experiences and suggestions on how we can eliminate these people.
Sos if you've had a bad experience or three, but it does tend to go with the turf and is not specific to SH and neither would I say that it's gotten any 'worse' in the past year or so, what it's like now is what it's always been like (my opinion) and we've been having filthy fun with others for quite some time now (filthy I am/we are)
My man and I have experienced timewasters, we just got our heads down and moved on at the same as trying to learn from the issue...but inevitaly there is always a next time *smiling* and sure enough there has been. I don't get down with it, neither do i beat myself up on the whats/ifs of a cancelled meet/timewasting event...for me (and for my man) it happens, we deal we plod on regardless.
I'd say rise above it but can be easier typed that done and given you appear to have been back just under a month from a year out then maybe give it a little more time before you result the site out as 'full of timewasters/wannabes".
Yer here now *gives yer bits a tweek*, I'm sure twill work out in the end for ya...and if it does and your meets get busy, be sure to give us some goss.
Quote by Pussylicker1947
Have been using this site off and on for about 4 years and initially made some good friends and nice contacts. For personal reasons I had to leave the site a year ago and have recently rejoined but am sorry I did. I say this because it now seems that there are quite a few timewasters and wannabes than there used to be. Is it just me or is this quite common? I'll be interested to know of other people's experiences and suggestions on how we can eliminate these people.
You joined in August 2012 and then stroll in and whine!
In the Four years you've been absent, this site has progressed, maybe in a further Four Years you'll welcome that!
Paddy
Hi,
Been on this site for MANY MANY years and other sites too and I believe there is a rise in "timewasters" but I think its more to do with the growth in interest in alternative lifestyles that the internet has allowed.. When I started swinging, you had to know someone, who knew someone, who was in the "scene" to find other people and clubs..
Now people type "free sex" into google and swingers clubs and sites are listed! this brings in the "despo's" and dreamers but they were always around before too. I think it brings in new people and opens the eyes of people to a fun lifestyle..
In terms of eliminating them i agree that spending more time getting to know people or following some simple rules will prevent but not stop your experiences..
Early 1-2-1 phone call is my number 1 personality tester!, if they wont speak on the phone whats the chances they will shag you in person!! lol
Hope my little 2p worth helps out..
Been on this site for MANY MANY years and other sites too and I believe there is a rise in "timewasters" but I think its more to do with the growth in interest in alternative lifestyles that the internet has allowed.. When I started swinging, you had to know someone, who knew someone, who was in the "scene" to find other people and clubs..
Now people type "free sex" into google and swingers clubs and sites are listed! this brings in the "despo's" and dreamers but they were always around before too. I think it brings in new people and opens the eyes of people to a fun lifestyle..
In terms of eliminating them i agree that spending more time getting to know people or following some simple rules will prevent but not stop your experiences..
Early 1-2-1 phone call is my number 1 personality tester!, if they wont speak on the phone whats the chances they will shag you in person!! lol
Hope my little 2p worth helps out..
Sex God
To be honest, if they are Shrep enabled then use the Shrep 'create meeting'function and at least that way you get to leave feedback
Though as not every one uses Shrep, then the good old fashioned chat on the phone, etc. also works
Though as not every one uses Shrep, then the good old fashioned chat on the phone, etc. also works
Having used this site myself (as a couple previously) for 4 years or so and now exploring this as a male I don't think there is an increase in timewasters. There is however an increase in choice and the number of people on the site which I think has to do with an increase in the number of people wanting to explore this type of lifestyle either as a single or as a couple. I think this gives the perception that there are more timewasters simply because there is more choice. (Yes, my profile says August 2012, but been on here since 2008 and on the scene since I was a teenager!)
However, having SHREP on (hey everybody wants feedback to prove they are genuine yes?) and not being shy in exchanging numbers helps perception. I've found the timewasters to be the ones who procrastinate and come up with excuses why times are not right, or want to see and endless stream of pictures or never answer the mobile etc. There are I think lots of flags you can use as to hints that a person(s) might be a timewaster. That being said sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and if it doesn't turn out make a note, blacklist them and move on. Maybe there needs to be a thread in the 'lets meet up' section for this :-) ...
- Val.
However, having SHREP on (hey everybody wants feedback to prove they are genuine yes?) and not being shy in exchanging numbers helps perception. I've found the timewasters to be the ones who procrastinate and come up with excuses why times are not right, or want to see and endless stream of pictures or never answer the mobile etc. There are I think lots of flags you can use as to hints that a person(s) might be a timewaster. That being said sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and if it doesn't turn out make a note, blacklist them and move on. Maybe there needs to be a thread in the 'lets meet up' section for this :-) ...
- Val.
Personally speaking I believe that the number of swingers using swinger sites is decreasing but the number of members joining site is increasing.
Let me clarify my thoughts, over the last 10 years the number of swinging clubs around the Country has increased quite dramatically and new clubs are opening all the time, with that fact and the increase in the number of online timewaster/dreamers etc a lot of "real meet" couples and singles have decided to go for the other methods of finding compatible people.
Add to that the increase in home parties being organised, small and large and partly fuelled by the eco comic recession, Swinging sites for swingers wanting to meets ARE on the decline.
But they will continue to increase in membership size because many of the new members are not here to meet, they are here to view the pictures (voyeurs), display thier pictures (exhibitionists) and for the same reasons the Free cam shows, why pay to go on a cam site when you can watch them here and on other swingers sites for free.
There is of course nothing wrong with that, if those that are here for cams, chat and pictures accept what they are and stop talking about meets when they have no intention of meeting.
Of course some think they are looking for a meet, they go through the "chase" process, just like we did when we reached puberty, remember when the chase was better than actually getting the date ? then the adrenalin levels drop and the reality level kicks in, the thought of getting ready and going out to meet absolute strangers has less appeal than the fun of the banter, that often prempts a meet.
There are nearly 1 and a half million members here, do an indepth search stating the criteria your seeking, ie distance, couples, singles, age, size, have pictures, have shrep have pictures of both partners etc that you are seeking and prepare to be surprised at how few people actually meet your criteria that have the same criteria as you ie the number of people who are compatible.
Let me clarify my thoughts, over the last 10 years the number of swinging clubs around the Country has increased quite dramatically and new clubs are opening all the time, with that fact and the increase in the number of online timewaster/dreamers etc a lot of "real meet" couples and singles have decided to go for the other methods of finding compatible people.
Add to that the increase in home parties being organised, small and large and partly fuelled by the eco comic recession, Swinging sites for swingers wanting to meets ARE on the decline.
But they will continue to increase in membership size because many of the new members are not here to meet, they are here to view the pictures (voyeurs), display thier pictures (exhibitionists) and for the same reasons the Free cam shows, why pay to go on a cam site when you can watch them here and on other swingers sites for free.
There is of course nothing wrong with that, if those that are here for cams, chat and pictures accept what they are and stop talking about meets when they have no intention of meeting.
Of course some think they are looking for a meet, they go through the "chase" process, just like we did when we reached puberty, remember when the chase was better than actually getting the date ? then the adrenalin levels drop and the reality level kicks in, the thought of getting ready and going out to meet absolute strangers has less appeal than the fun of the banter, that often prempts a meet.
There are nearly 1 and a half million members here, do an indepth search stating the criteria your seeking, ie distance, couples, singles, age, size, have pictures, have shrep have pictures of both partners etc that you are seeking and prepare to be surprised at how few people actually meet your criteria that have the same criteria as you ie the number of people who are compatible.
Hi Guys
We thought as a first post that isn't about how rubbish we are at uploading photos we might share some of our experiences that start out a little wide of the subject matter, but get on track in the end. Our, well MrC4C's, experiences of swinging through the internet go right back to the begining, if not time, but the time of the birth of the Internet.
When Mr C4C joined UK Swingers Network in 1997 that on-line site had a Sunday League Ground filling 350 members. However, they were all genuine swingers looking for meets. Given how few people had the internet at home then these were mostly middle aged professional couples and some singles. People travelled back and forth across the UK to meet and have a good time. The set up was discrete and could not have been more real. Maximum purr.
Moving on to 2005 Mr C4C rejoined the alternative lifestyle via AFF, and was amazed to find there were enough UK members to populate a small country. Wow, where had all these swingers suddenly come from? What Mr C4C found was there were precious few genuine swingers (at least in his then neighbourhood of Auld Reekie). A remarkable number of the small number of single women on the site were using AFF as a mainstream dating site...ya wot? The number of fake or barely credible profiles was remarkable. However, of the kind of people who formed UK Swinging back in the day there was no sign. Mr C4C gave up after a few months. Purr denied.
Back to 2009 and Mr C4C prompted by a female friend decided to have another go. This time he joined one of the big groups in his area Scotts Corner run (then) by a couple called 2Fools4Moor. That group organised social meets of members which MrC4C went to a few of. What was surprising was how many members still didn't seem to have the faintest clue as to what swinging was about. A platonic social scene is fine, but it's not swinging (hint you can't take sex completely out of swinging).
Shortly after that we got together and what do you know we both love sex, and sometimes together sex with others...multiple purrs. Now you need to find the others! We tried a few open to the public clubs like After 8 but they were dreadful. Amazing how little sex goes on in a sex club in Scotland. To the poster who thought this was where you find the swingers, not in our experience, lots of desperate (and usually fleeced) single guys yes, couples and single females nae chance pal. Our one experience of the Hellfire Club suggests moving South has not changed our prospects in these sorts of places in the UK. Our experience abroad is limited to the Red Rooster in Vegas. Compared to what we have seen in the UK that is like comparing the White Isle's Manumission with a School Disco!
When we were North of Hadrians, we tried to meet up with various couples, again through AFF but our experience ranged from the weird to the downright bunny boiling dangerous. We met one genuine couple (thanks guys you know who you are if you are on here). We came across this site by chance and it seemed much more the real thing than AFF. We joined more than a year ago, but because we knew we were going to move South we've kept low key.
We are now active so time will tell what we find. We'd be astonished, given our AFF experiences, if we didn't come across fakes, fantasists and people who are members here for many reasons other than to actually swing (it's not a crime although it still seems a bit odd to us). We don't believe there are millions of true swingers in UK as various site membership figures might suggest. We do know, though some fantastic experiences over the years, there are some, and if we meet some more through here great. If we don't we are also exploring other channels, and this brilliant life goes on.
Best
Mr & MrsC4C
We thought as a first post that isn't about how rubbish we are at uploading photos we might share some of our experiences that start out a little wide of the subject matter, but get on track in the end. Our, well MrC4C's, experiences of swinging through the internet go right back to the begining, if not time, but the time of the birth of the Internet.
When Mr C4C joined UK Swingers Network in 1997 that on-line site had a Sunday League Ground filling 350 members. However, they were all genuine swingers looking for meets. Given how few people had the internet at home then these were mostly middle aged professional couples and some singles. People travelled back and forth across the UK to meet and have a good time. The set up was discrete and could not have been more real. Maximum purr.
Moving on to 2005 Mr C4C rejoined the alternative lifestyle via AFF, and was amazed to find there were enough UK members to populate a small country. Wow, where had all these swingers suddenly come from? What Mr C4C found was there were precious few genuine swingers (at least in his then neighbourhood of Auld Reekie). A remarkable number of the small number of single women on the site were using AFF as a mainstream dating site...ya wot? The number of fake or barely credible profiles was remarkable. However, of the kind of people who formed UK Swinging back in the day there was no sign. Mr C4C gave up after a few months. Purr denied.
Back to 2009 and Mr C4C prompted by a female friend decided to have another go. This time he joined one of the big groups in his area Scotts Corner run (then) by a couple called 2Fools4Moor. That group organised social meets of members which MrC4C went to a few of. What was surprising was how many members still didn't seem to have the faintest clue as to what swinging was about. A platonic social scene is fine, but it's not swinging (hint you can't take sex completely out of swinging).
Shortly after that we got together and what do you know we both love sex, and sometimes together sex with others...multiple purrs. Now you need to find the others! We tried a few open to the public clubs like After 8 but they were dreadful. Amazing how little sex goes on in a sex club in Scotland. To the poster who thought this was where you find the swingers, not in our experience, lots of desperate (and usually fleeced) single guys yes, couples and single females nae chance pal. Our one experience of the Hellfire Club suggests moving South has not changed our prospects in these sorts of places in the UK. Our experience abroad is limited to the Red Rooster in Vegas. Compared to what we have seen in the UK that is like comparing the White Isle's Manumission with a School Disco!
When we were North of Hadrians, we tried to meet up with various couples, again through AFF but our experience ranged from the weird to the downright bunny boiling dangerous. We met one genuine couple (thanks guys you know who you are if you are on here). We came across this site by chance and it seemed much more the real thing than AFF. We joined more than a year ago, but because we knew we were going to move South we've kept low key.
We are now active so time will tell what we find. We'd be astonished, given our AFF experiences, if we didn't come across fakes, fantasists and people who are members here for many reasons other than to actually swing (it's not a crime although it still seems a bit odd to us). We don't believe there are millions of true swingers in UK as various site membership figures might suggest. We do know, though some fantastic experiences over the years, there are some, and if we meet some more through here great. If we don't we are also exploring other channels, and this brilliant life goes on.
Best
Mr & MrsC4C
Quote by cool4catz
Hi Guys
We thought as a first post that isn't about how rubbish we are at uploading photos we might share some of our experiences that start out a little wide of the subject matter, but get on track in the end. Our, well MrC4C's, experiences of swinging through the internet go right back to the begining, if not time, but the time of the birth of the Internet.
When Mr C4C joined UK Swingers Network in 1997 that on-line site had a Sunday League Ground filling 350 members. However, they were all genuine swingers looking for meets. Given how few people had the internet at home then these were mostly middle aged professional couples and some singles. People travelled back and forth across the UK to meet and have a good time. The set up was discrete and could not have been more real. Maximum purr.
Moving on to 2005 Mr C4C rejoined the alternative lifestyle via AFF, and was amazed to find there were enough UK members to populate a small country. Wow, where had all these swingers suddenly come from? What Mr C4C found was there were precious few genuine swingers (at least in his then neighbourhood of Auld Reekie). A remarkable number of the small number of single women on the site were using AFF as a mainstream dating site...ya wot? The number of fake or barely credible profiles was remarkable. However, of the kind of people who formed UK Swinging back in the day there was no sign. Mr C4C gave up after a few months. Purr denied.
Back to 2009 and Mr C4C prompted by a female friend decided to have another go. This time he joined one of the big groups in his area Scotts Corner run (then) by a couple called 2Fools4Moor. That group organised social meets of members which MrC4C went to a few of. What was surprising was how many members still didn't seem to have the faintest clue as to what swinging was about. A platonic social scene is fine, but it's not swinging (hint you can't take sex completely out of swinging).
Shortly after that we got together and what do you know we both love sex, and sometimes together sex with others...multiple purrs. Now you need to find the others! We tried a few open to the public clubs like After 8 but they were dreadful. Amazing how little sex goes on in a sex club in Scotland. To the poster who thought this was where you find the swingers, not in our experience, lots of desperate (and usually fleeced) single guys yes, couples and single females nae chance pal. Our one experience of the Hellfire Club suggests moving South has not changed our prospects in these sorts of places in the UK. Our experience abroad is limited to the Red Rooster in Vegas. Compared to what we have seen in the UK that is like comparing the White Isle's Manumission with a School Disco!
When we were North of Hadrians, we tried to meet up with various couples, again through AFF but our experience ranged from the weird to the downright bunny boiling dangerous. We met one genuine couple (thanks guys you know who you are if you are on here). We came across this site by chance and it seemed much more the real thing than AFF. We joined more than a year ago, but because we knew we were going to move South we've kept low key.
We are now active so time will tell what we find. We'd be astonished, given our AFF experiences, if we didn't come across fakes, fantasists and people who are members here for many reasons other than to actually swing (it's not a crime although it still seems a bit odd to us). We don't believe there are millions of true swingers in UK as various site membership figures might suggest. We do know, though some fantastic experiences over the years, there are some, and if we meet some more through here great. If we don't we are also exploring other channels, and this brilliant life goes on.
Best
Mr & MrsC4C
Comprehensive, informative and well written post with some valid points, the only thing I would disagree with is the Clubs statement, but accept that perhaps you have not been to the best clubs yet.
Tonight we will be at atlantisEVOLUTION in Stoke on Trent, it is a mixed night with single males, females and couples, I do not believe the guys will be "fleeced" it will cost them £30 for the evening, with FREE lifetime membership, now it is true that couples tonight will only pay £10 entrance fee, but that is life, women pay more than me to have a cut and blow dry even though my hair is longer than many womens, women often get cheap entry or early cheap drinks in nightclubs etc etc, the idea is to attract more couples by subsidisng thier entry fees with the guys fees, but if it was a pound of guys to get in and there were no couples then a pound would be expensive. Single women get in Free but as a couple paying more than the girls I don't mind, if that means more will go.
Now you never know who is going to be there but last Friday night there were 9 single guys and 28 couples at the club, a nice balance we thought, we do not play with single guys but found that they enhanced the atmosphere and were perfectly well behaved.
We normally go there on Saturdays as well which is a couples and single females only night, last week there were 38 couples in the club and it was a great night.
Tomorrow though we are going to Xotix Xtreme in Derby, a great little club but at the moment building up membership as it is a new club, the last time we went (about a month ago) there were only 7 couples and 4 single guys on the Saturday night but we do know more will be there tomorrow night for the Hawaiian party and it only takes one couple that are compatible for us to turn a good night into a great night
Clubs don't suit everyone and there are good clubs and bad clubs but I stand by what I said about clubs being a good option to internet sites but not a solution.
